Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

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My Dad & Veterans Day , Prison Camp,PTSD, VA GRECC Program

November 11, 2020

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I moved my own Dad so let me tell you our story on Veterans Day.

It is key to his move. He was a World War II navigator shot down in Poland and transferred to

.  He returned home a broken man with PTSD, never took a bus, drove, or flew on a plane again. His disability, like so many vets, was untreated for 50 years. He worked as an advertising agent ala Mad Men and drank like Don Draper. Our family crumbled into a dysfunctional maelstrom, as most families do.

VA GRECC SAVED THE DAY

Finally, after my mother died, I talked him into going to the VA where he did get treatment through the GRECC program. My brother who lived with him died, my Dad found his body and the house caught fire, I then moved my Dad out to a board and care and had the house rebuilt. However, it was Edgar Alan Poe’s House of Usher The perfect storm of 89 flooded the whole house again just like Hurricane Sandy. We lived on the bay off the Jersey Coast, since devastated by the rising ocean.

On Christmas Eve I got him an emergency flight to California with only his clothes and he moved in with us for 20 years, until his death. Was it a good move-?

Yes, it was a great move.

My Dad had privacy, although he was on the floor with his 8th-grade granddaughter who dearly loved him- now 40. They both had their own bathrooms. He became the center of the family when he had been a distant removed father. The great-grandchildren Julia & Joseph, my brother’s son Chris and my children Jill and Kali adored him and he loved them. He was “ Pop”.

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So on Veterans Day, I would like to give you my own fraught story and remind you of the horrible struggle veterans go through salted by the anguish visited on their families. But there is a great part of the VA and its GRECC. So happy Veterans Day Dad and so glad you moved in with us and had the GRECC program to support us all.

Filed Under: Aging, aging family crisis, aging life care manager, ALCA Beneifits, Dysfunctional aging family, Emergency Plan, Euology, Long Distance Care, moving parent in your home, PTSD Vets, VA benefits, VA Benefits & geriatric care managementt, VA benefits and geriatric care management, VA GRECC Program, Veteran's Day, Veterans Administration Tagged With: elder relocation, moving parent, PTSD in family caregivers, PTSD in Vets World War II, Stalag 17, Stalag-VII-A Moosburg Bavaria, VA GRECC Program, VA PTSD, Veterans Day

Memorial Day- Delay in VA Pensions & More Suicide-

May 25, 2013

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Happy Memorial Day weekend. 350 active troops committed suicide in 2012 . Like President Obama said in his speech this week war has its collateral damage. But it’s not only drones. It’s suicide.

For years I had no conscience about the military or vets. I hated the Vietnam War. Like many kids of the 60’s I despised the draft and needless slaughter. But I never put two and two together and thought of honoring vets and those in the military till I saw the Vietnam memorial.

The black stone stunned me the night I went ,the dead listed by their death rather than alphabetically made me see it as an altar. It was a slab to the scar the Vietnam War where people left flowers, pictures, and heels from proms. I helped create that scar by not honoring the living or dead.

They were in my family and me- a different war- many different wars.. I’ve changed. I still hate why we went to war, go to war. killed  and continue to kill so many people but I don’t hate the men and women that served or who continue to serve.

Instead of a barbecue, I now think of as my cousin who served in Viet Nam’s Phoenix Program and could hardly speak of “the horror”In his 60’s .He was like Kurtz in The Heart of Darkness, brilliantly recreated by Marlon Brando in Francis Ford Coppola’s Apocolypse Now

“The horror” hit my Dad and Mom in 1945. Their marriage dissolved but never ended when he came home 89 pounds and mute after World War Two. It follows me to this day and in many ways killed my brother.My dad was a POW in Germany’s Stalag 17 during World War II, when I was born.  My mother, brother, and I suffered along with him for over 50 years due to the devastation wreaked on his mind. 

I pay tribute to my paternal grandfather felled by sunstroke in World War One . He was operated on by an army doctor who had no idea how to do spinals. My grandfather was declared legally insane all his life. His pension was kept by a bank in Philadelphia because  my grandmother had a 4th grade education. My maternal grandfather had shrapnel in his head  from WW I and for 50 years  was also permanently disabled . In spite of the metal in his brain, he got no promised bonus. He took my mother and his family to protest with the Bonus Army in Washington, where my grandparents and 12 year old mother’s tent was burned to the ground by Eisenhower on his horse.

I would also like to dedicate my blog to all the families of suicide in the military with veterans of World War II, the Korean War, the war in Vietnam, the Gulf War, the war in Iraq and the present war in Afghanistan-whose wholeness was shattered- is shattered- by mental and physical combat wounds. Those Iraq war victims might be haunted by specters in the future that visit adult kids like me.


As a staggering 45 % of Iraq and Afghanistan veterans have applied for disability and it takes them a year or more to get it, if they don’t kill themselves first,the Bonus Army’s cause of 100 years ago lives on today.

I hope they don’t wait the 10 years it took my father to get disability, when I finally got him to apply at 65.

Think about all this as you celebrate.

Happy Memorial Day Harry V Cress . He is pictured above on his 85th birthday, the year he died.

 

Filed Under: Aging Tagged With: apoclypse now, Bonus Army, Heart of Darkness, Kurtz, POW, POW World War II, President Obama, PTSD in Vets, PTSD in Vets World War II, schrapnel World War I, Stalag 17, Suicides among military, VA disability delayed, Veterans Day, Viet Nam Phoenix Program, Vietmam protests, Vietnam Memorial

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