When an aging professional or care manager, put together a care plan they have to understand what might tear it apart.

Often unstated, the car plan must address the underlying issues of family caregiver burn-out, guilt, anger, financial agendas and threats/challenges to the well-being of those involved.  Without considerations to each individual’s stake in the plan, the implementation may never occur. 

This does not mean you are a mind reader. This means you have spent years learning a whole family approach and can see both the older person’s and the caregiver’s needs, stated or not stated.

When prioritizing the needs, the senior and family caregiver cannot agree-

• For Mrs.Sterling, her primary needs included help ⁽¹⁶⁾with a bath and having food brought to her. She thinks of course here daughter Jane can do this on her way home from work. Mrs. Sterling, of course, needs much more care as she had a broken hip and has had falls. But Jane was her “ dutiful daughter so Mrs. Sterling counted on her being there every night.
• For Barbara, her primary needs included having someone with her mother to help avert another fall,; and to make sure her mother is eating, and to monitor that her mother’s hygiene is maintained. Barbara also does not want to continue neglecting her husband and son by coming by her mother’s every night after working all day at her law practice.

The aging professional who had a “Whole Family Approach”, understood the underlying outcome that was never voiced by the client. If she had not and Jane did not assure her she would always be there, the whole care plan would fall apart. Jane had to be the dutiful daughter, as Mrs. Sterling had been in Denmark.How to you arrange needed care and give the daughter and mother both what they want?

• How do you understand these unstated needs of clients that will literally turn over your apple cart?
• Watch this video to see how you the care manager or aging professional will do your care plan to meet the mother and daughter’s unstated needs.

• Bunni Dybnis MA, LMFT, CMC Director of Professional Services LivHome, LA
  andSteve Barlam Chief Professional Officer, Co-Founder LivHome
  MSW, LCSW, CMC, both highly expert care managers, created a seminal chapter on the Tools that a care manager or geriatric social worker need to work with aging families in my book Care Manager’s Working With the Aging   They cover these CORE skills in that chapter, including how to see a care plan may be blocked.