Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

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End of Life-When Do You Need Mediation?

February 23, 2021

Why do some families need mediation at the end of life? Mediation is a voluntary process in which the parties, with the help of an impartial third party mediator, work together to resolve their differences or solve a problem they were unable to address satisfactorily without help. These family differences especially happen to dysfunctional families but can beset any family at the end of life. They are faced with overwhelming emotions and decisions that demand that the family work together as a team. What happens to dysfunctional and even nearly normal families during this trying time? They don’t gather as a team. They fight. They fret and they feud. What are the results of this fighting, fretting, and feuding in families at the end of life?                                        family-charis1-226x300.jpg

Unresolved family conflicts emerge

            Dysfunctional families become more dysfunctional

Family members’ grief, pain, and anxiety are often masked as anger and presents as conflict (past and present)                                                 

Older person dies without resolving important family issues

Older person dies in conflict, not in peace

Deliver a Good End of Life- Add Death and Dying to Your Care Management Agency

 

Serve Your Client Until Death Do You Part

 

Join me Thursday, March 11, and learn why End of Life Services Are a perfect new service for care managers 

 In this 1 ½ -hour webinar you will learn how to 

  • Transition the patient/family through the five stages of death     
  • Help clients be active participants in their care
  • Give the family/caregiver tools to manage care
  • Provide family center care to caregiver and family
  • Choose the right support services through all stages of death
  • Introduce Hospice and Palliative care and work with their team
  • Use ALCA End of Life Benefits During COVID
  • Use  COVID -19  Family Coaching for GCM
  • Sign Up    

If you really want to add End of Life to your care management business sign up for this webinar now

 

Filed Under: Aging, aging life care manager, Death & Dying, Death and Dying Care Management, death and dying care manager, DNR, End of Life, End of Life Care manager, GCM role Death and Dying, geriatric social worker, Good Death, Hospice, Hospice Care, mediation, Mediation End of Life, Mediator, nurse care manager Tagged With: Advanced Directives, aging parent, aging parent care, aging parent crisis, ALCA care Manager, ALCA in End Of Life, disputes at end of life, dysfunctional aging family, dysfuntional family, elder mediation, end of life, end of life family meeting, facilitator, families fretting at end of life, family meeting, Fighting and Feuding at end of life, GCM mediator, geraitric care manager, Geriatric Assessment, geriatric care manager, geriatric care managers, Handbook of Geriatric Care Management third edition, mediation, mediation end of life, mediiator, My Geraitric Care Management Operations Manual, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, power of attorney for health care, siblings feuding, siblings fighting, step sibling family meeting

Mediation at End of Life -Cathy Cress Speaking

April 7, 2013

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On April 19, 2013 I will be making a presentation-,at the 29th Annual National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers Conference in Philadelphia. I will be speaking along with attorney and mediator Dana Curtis .

 

The  topic is , GCM as the Accidental Mediator: Fretting and Fighting or Feuding: Intergenerational Conflict in the Adult Family at End of Life, Philadelphia, Penna.

Filed Under: Aging Tagged With: aging family, aging parent care, aging parent crisis, Dana Curtis, death, dysfunctional aging family, elder law attorney, Elder Legal Assessment, end of life, end of life family meeting, family caregivers, geraitric care manager, geriatric care managers, Hospice, hospice for elderly parent, irate sibling, mediation, mediator, midlife sibling team, My Geraitric Care Management Operations Manual, NAELA, National Assocaition of Geraitric Care Managers, National Association of Geriatric Care Managers Conference, power of attorney for health care, victim, villian

What Is a Psychosocial Assessment ? – Legal and Economic Assessments.

December 16, 2012

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Filed Under: Aging Tagged With: adult protective services, elderlaw attorney, Functional Assessment, Geriatric Assessment, geriatric care management, Geriatric care management operations manual, My Geriatric Care Management Operations Manual, NAELA, National Association of Geriatric Care Managers, power of attorney for health care, Psychosocial assessment

Use an Agenda For an End of Life Sibling Family Meeting

August 18, 2012

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Setting an agenda for the siblings family meeting about end of life is critical and should be done before the meeting. It is your GPS to success.
Here is a case example. I once did geriatric care management for an aging woman who was dying. Her first husband had died a few years before and had immediately married her old high school boyfriend, who had dumped her, 50 years before..

She now had terminal cancer, had a gastric tube and had lapsed into a coma. She had given her new husband power of attorney for health care. He wanted to take her off life support but did not want her to come home nor did he want take care of her himself, with the support of Hospice. The old boyfriend wanted to have her cared for in a skilled nursing facility. A sibling family meeting took place at the hospital with all the step siblings, the new husband and the hospice social worker as mediator. Her blood children wanted her to go home, the place where they grew up, with 24-hour care, Hospice and life support removed. The new husband’s children, her stepchildren agreed with their Dad decision to take her off life support and move her to a nursing home to die, without 24 hour care. The hospice social worker, skilled in mediation, met with everyone, including her elder law attorney, pre the meeting and used those individual meetings to create an agenda.

An agenda allows all parties know ahead of time what you plan to discuss and is a vital part of the process. Research on care management of elders and midlife siblings a shows that any family meeting is not up to scratch when siblings go into it with an agenda

The elder family member, if present, adult siblings and power of attorney for health care, need to be clear on the meeting’s purpose or agenda

The facilitator or mediator must meet with the older adult and midlife siblings and power of attorney beforehand and individually discuss their point of view about the main problems to be solved, set goals for the meeting and use all information to create the agenda. For example if the meeting is whether to return home to die or go to a facility, then that subject should be discussed in each individual meeting and on the agenda.

The mediator or facilitator should also consul other professionals like physicians and hospice case managers or nurses, and elder law attorney’s, if involved, with a release of information, for results from medical tests, legal documents, or other the types of information that may be needed in the sibling family meeting to make decisions and discuss end of life. Any of this information that is pertinent to the goal of the meeting should be on the agenda. When the meeting begins, it is good for the mediator or facilitator to review the meeting goals and to clarify if specific decisions need to be made.

The end of the story is the dying elderly woman was moved to an excellent skilled nursing facility with 24-hour home care and Hospice. Life support was removed and she died three weeks later, her blood children at her side. The moral of the story is – do not marry that high school boyfriend who dumped you- and – use and agenda for a sibling family meeting about end of life. .

 

Filed Under: Aging Tagged With: aging family, blaming familiy members, blended family, blood sibling, case manager, Cathy Jo Cress, death, dysfunctional aging family, elder care crisis, elderlaw attorney, end of life, end of life family meeting, family meeting, geriatric care manager, half siblings, Hospice, hospice for elderly parent, marry your old boyfriend, mediator, midlife siblings, Mom Loves You Best Forgiving and Forging Sibling Relationships, parent care crisis, power of attorney for health care, sibling, step siblings, You Tube

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