Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

7 Tips to Make Labor Day Midlife- Sibling Stress Free

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Happy Labor Day. 

If you are working with midlife siblings to solve elder care issues and they are attending a Labor Day barbecue-  

Here are 

Suggestions to make the ritual of Labor Day –  a holiday to be enjoyed by midlife siblings and their families  – not dreaded like the annual Thanksgiving dinner where Mom burns the turkey and your uncle gets drunk and sings. 

Here are 7 tips to help them keep the Labor Day heartburn free without a midlife sibling to build a midlife sibling team over aging Mom and Dad issues.

1) Don’t discuss politics. In this era of the Trump presidency with so many families at odds over President The Democratic Presidential Race ,Trump, the Russian hacking investigation, DOMA, the building of the ” Mexican Wall ” –politics can be lethal to families. Spare siblings, and guests. This is bloodier than the civil war with so many kin at opposite poles. So keep it positive and light or just plain pass the time of day. And whatever you do, don’t drink too much and forget the ban on politics.

2) Remember that it is a family gathering and it is not “all about you”.Suggest keeping a positive attitude for the sake of aging parents, if they are there,  and  kids, who will model bad sibling behavior when they face parent- care in the future

3) Call email or Facebook, Evite everyone ahead of time. Ask everyone to bring a dish to share. That is the beginning of building a sibling family team- sharing food. Call every midlife sibling and family member. Do not exclude. Again to build a team effort.

4) Attempt to get all midlife siblings to plan activities ahead and jointly work to make them happen-with a sibling team spirit. Think of softball games, horseshoes, and a treasure hunt, anything that everyone can have joint ideas about beforehand. Use Facebook to do this- hopefully, all your siblings are your Facebook friends.

5) Arrange to split the bill for beverages like alcohol and soft drinks, again sibling team effort. Remember to go light on alcohol because, like the recent Houston explosion caused by hurricane flooding, alcohol can detonate sibling warfare.

6) Share jobs- setting up tables, bringing in equipment for sports or games, lawn chairs- especially ‘manning” the barbecue. (Sisters can cook too) Share it and don’t let anyone be top dog –be the chosen chef, unless everyone is fine with that.This is again modeling a sibling team about helping an aging Mom and Dad.

6) It is a party, not a sibling family meeting. If you want to talk about personal issues, make a date in the future to get together with your angry sister/brother.

7) Don’t make this a family meeting where old sibling grudges get hashed out.It is a holiday.

IF you are an ALCA member or GCMCheck out the chapter ” Working With Adult Aging Siblings” by Cathy Cress and Kali C Peterson in  Care Manager’s Working With the Aging Family – for a deeper dive into how to work with midlife siblings around aging parent care. 

Also, you could apply this to any labor day gathering with siblings and just leave out the aging parent issue.

HAVE A HAPPY LABOR DAY

7 Tips to Make Labor Day Midlife- Sibling Stress Free

Dys-fam90264_CH22_FIG02.jpg

 

Happy Labor Day. 

If you are working with midlife siblings to solve elder care issues and they are attending a Labor Day barbecue-  

Here are 

Suggestions to make the ritual of Labor Day –  a holiday to be enjoyed by midlife siblings and their families  – not dreaded like the annual Thanksgiving dinner where Mom burns the turkey and your uncle gets drunk and sings. 

Here are 7 tips to help them keep the Labor Day heartburn free without a midlife sibling to build a midlife sibling team over aging Mom and Dad issues.

1) Don’t discuss politics. In this era of the Trump presidency with so many families at odds over President Trump, Charlotteville, the Russian hacking investigation, DOMA, the building of the ” Mexican Wall ” –politics can be lethal to families. Spare siblings, and guests. This is bloodier than the civil war with so many kin at opposite poles. So keep it positive and light or just plain pass the time of day. And whatever you do, don’t drink too much and forget the ban on politics.

2) Remember that it is a family gathering and it is not “all about you”.Suggest keeping a positive attitude for the sake of aging parents, if they are there,  and  kids, who will model bad sibling behavior when they face parent- care in the future

3) Call email or Facebook, Evite everyone ahead of time. Ask everyone to bring a dish to share. That is the beginning of building a sibling family team- sharing food. Call every midlife sibling and family member. Do not exclude. Again to build a team effort.

4) Attempt to get all midlife siblings to plan activities ahead and jointly work to make them happen-with a sibling team spirit. Think of softball games, horseshoes, and a treasure hunt, anything that everyone can have joint ideas about beforehand. Use Facebook to do this- hopefully, all your siblings are your Facebook friends.

5) Arrange to split the bill for beverages like alcohol and soft drinks, again sibling team effort. Remember to go light on alcohol because, like the recent Houston explosion caused by hurricane flooding, alcohol can detonate sibling warfare.

6) Share jobs- setting up tables, bringing in equipment for sports or games, lawn chairs- especially ‘manning” the barbecue. (Sisters can cook too) Share it and don’t let anyone be top dog –be the chosen chef, unless everyone is fine with that.This is again modeling a sibling team about helping an aging Mom and Dad.

6) It is a party, not a sibling family meeting. If you want to talk about personal issues, make a date in the future to get together with your angry sister/brother.

7) Don’t make this a family meeting where old sibling grudges get hashed out.It is a holiday.

Check out the chapter ” Working With Adult Aging Siblings” by Cathy Cress and Kali C Peterson in  Care Manager’s Working With the Aging Family – for a deeper dive into how to work with midlife siblings around aging parent care. 

Also, you could apply this to any labor day gathering with siblings and just leave out the aging parent issue.

HAVE HAPPY LABOR DAY

What Is a Functional Assessment?- Falls &Mobility

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Assessing fall risk is a big part of assessing client mobility. Every year, approximately 30% of older persons living at home fall. In fact the Center for Disease Control says every year 1 in 3 older adults has a fall . Getting more information about where falls occur is vital. A practical mnemonic for reviewing the actual fall is as follows:

S ‑Symptoms experienced at the time of fall

P ‑Previous number of falls or near-falls

L ‑Location of falls

A ‑Activity engaged in or attempted at time of fall

T ‑Time (hour) of fall

T ‑Trauma (e.g., physical or psychological) associated with falls

Prevention of falls is of utmost importance because after a fall the fear of another fall can become a vicious cycle. Fear leads to inactivity that then results in decreased strength that then leads to increased risk of another fall.

Many falls by older persons occur in the bathroom, the most dangerous room in the house. Adaptations in the environment can decrease the risk. If your client is falling at night, ask about the use of sedating medications at bedtime. Or perhaps does the person fall because he or she ambulates slowly and needs to rush to answer the only phone in the home, which is located on the kitchen wall? Getting a portable telephone may decrease the risk of another fall. Was the person experiencing specific symptoms secondary to medical problems, for example, dizziness or postural hypotension? Reviewing these symptoms with the physician can result in treatment or change in medications that will reduce the risk of a repeat fall.

Changes in the environment, attention to adaptations, and medical evaluation will make it safer for a person with impaired mobility to get around the home. In addition, with the goal of improved mobility and balance, the care manager should think about the possibility of physical therapy for strength training, personal trainers who can come to the home or the assisted living facility to do light exercise, or even a membership at a local senior-friendly gym that offers tai chi classes, which are known to improve balance. In addition, for clients in nursing homes the care manager needs to advocate for needed therapies and medical evaluations to improve mobility and decrease falls.

 

New Addtion to Ten Tips to Make Labor Day With Siblings Stress Free

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Happy Labor Day. I am going to add to my blog of August 29th Ten Tips to Make Sibling Labor Day Barbecue Stress Free

If your siblings the coming to a Labor Day barbecue, I will revise the list and make new number one, which someone suggested when I posted the original sibling blog.

Make the ritual of Labor Day and events– a holiday to be enjoyed by midlife siblings their families and everyone – not dreaded.

Here is the new tip # 1 to keep the sibling celebration acid reflux free without midlife sibling drama plus make it a midlife sibling team effort to maintain

1) Don’t discuss politics. In this presidential season with so much vitriol over candidates and so many families spit down the middle over whether to support Obama or Romney, tea party of old republicans or democrats, spare you family, siblings and guests. This is bloodier than the civil war with so many families and siblings at opposite poles. So keep it to family and sibling issues or just plain pass the time of day. And whatever you do, don’t drink too much and forget the ban on politics.

And to restate new number 2)

2) Remember that it is a family gathering and it is not all about you. Keep a positive attitude for the sake of your midlife siblings, aging parents, if they are there, your own young kids who will model sibling behavior from you -their parent-

in the way you interact with their aunts and uncles.So avoid politics .

family and sibling unity.

Sibling Rivalry-Is it deadly, Necessary or Repairable?

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Sibling rivalry is the same in every nation, culture and species. With animals it is about territory and humans love. See what the English take on sibling rivalry is from the Guardian this week.

 

Watch my You Tube segment on how love, territory, and food  all play a role in creating sometimes deadly sibling rivalry

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