Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

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Ten Warning Signs That You Are Working With in a Dysfunctional Family

January 16, 2021

Warning Signs of Aging Dysfunctional Family – Contentiouness, Anger, and Cut Off

Do you know the 10  clinical manifestations that you are working with the dysfunctional family, the most challenging job of an aging professional. What you have to know is family system theory and be clinically skilled in entering this treacherous family system – to get care for an older person

1. Contentiousness – Old fights erupt; the siblings and parent get into arguments with one another about an old issue

2. Anger – Siblings and family members express physical anger, emotional abuse, financial abuse

 

 

3. Distancing & cut off – Some siblings or parents have nothing to do with family and may not speak to parents or siblings for long periods of time.

Warning Signs of Aging Dysfunctional Family – Fusion, Denial, Triangulation, Entitlement

4. Fusion – Siblings and family members, such as the mother and eldest daughter, blend into one another, For example, the daughter’s sounds, acts, and has the same prejudices as the mother. . Think of the media’s portrayal of Lindsay Lohan and her mother.

5. Denial – Adult siblings do not see a decline in a parent, do not face reality, and do not take care of the parent if he or she needs care.

6. Triangulation – Tension between two family members or siblings causes one to enlist a third family member or sibling to avoid change For example, two adult sibling object to the cost of care of an aging parent. They gang up on the third adult sibling who thinks the cost of care is reasonable and justified.

7. Sense of Entitlement – Siblings who are accustomed to purchasing services they need not personally solving their own, children’s sibling or parents’ problems. This lack of engagement leaves them, unprepared and unwilling in getting involved in solving family tribulations.

Warning Signs of Aging Dysfunctional Family – Narcissism, Needy Adult Siblings, Substance Abuse and Cut Off

8. Narcissism – One or more siblings has an “it’s all about me” attitude and

other siblings resent this. The self-absorbed sibling either does not participate

9. Needy Adult Siblings – These adult siblings feel starved for affection and often seek affection from professionals and other people in their lives for compensation for the care they didn’t receive as children.

10 . Substance and Other Abuse – The family and siblings have a history of drug, alcohol, and/or child abuse.

If this fits you you and your aging parent needs care may need to contact a geriatric care manager.

Sign Up for My Free January Webinar  

5 Vital Clinical Tools to Help Aging Dysfunctional Families-Post Horrid Holidays- 

             Thursday, January 21, 2021

F

  Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday  

 Join me and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stocking.      

Learn how to!

  • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
  • Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family
  • Master Vital Clinical Tools you to solve client problems
  • Take Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families
  • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

 SIGN UP NOW

 Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

 

Filed Under: abusive aging parents, adult child physical abuse, Adult children, aging family crisis, aging family system, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, Aging therapist, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family Inquiry, Dysfunctional Family System, elder abuse, elder care manager, elder fiscal abuse, elder mediator, entitled family, estranged siblings, FREE WEBINAR, GCM COACHING SKILLS, geriatric care manager, geriatric care manager start up, midlife siblings, Siblings Tagged With: adult children of borderline narcissistic VIP families, aging family, blaming familiy members, boundaries dysfunctional families, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional Holiday, cut -off, cut-off sibling, dysfunctional aging family, geriatric care manager, help with dysfunctional family, midlife siblings, Narcissistic Personality, sibling, Substance abuse in the elderly

What Types Concierge Clients Can Afford Paid Care Besides Donald Trump On the Holidays?

November 1, 2020

 Types of aging families who can afford care management

Families who can afford geriatric care management and home care  long term can do so because they have the financial resources, which are usually over a million dollars in assets.. Part of this is drawn from Claudia Fine and Nick Newcombe excellent chapter ” Entitlement in the Aging Family”, Care Managers Working With the Aging Family, Jones and Bartlett) 

Narcissistic-Entitled Families:

Entitlement in these families usually develops from a specific kind of “not good enough parenting” in which the parents themselves have struggled with personality disorders, most typically, in this type of family, narcissistic borderline personality  ( example President Trump)They struggled with a borderline personality that went undiagnosed or was formally diagnosed and untreated. The narcissistic or borderline parent essentially does not experience the child/children as separate and discreet from themselves and, moreover, uses the child/children to serve parental needs.  This parent-child relationship is characterized by severe boundary issues in which seduction and abandonment are ever-present dynamics and where emotional unpredictability and instability are constant.  ( Fine and Newcombe- Entitlement in the Aging Family, Care Managers Working With the Aging Family)

 

 Rich and Famous-Entitled Families:

These families are identified by the parents’ socioeconomic, financial and political prominence.  ( example President Reagan)They are families in which all basic needs, services, resources and creature comforts are obtained via income, assets, abundant discretionary cash flow and/or come from the political position, station or power.  Once again, the entitlement of the family is passed from the parent to the child who in turn brings these behaviors and actions to the caregiving milieu and care management relationship.  In this category, the entitlement arises out of a family that is accustomed to purchasing everything.  They look to paid others to meet their needs (as opposed to families who must themselves find and orchestrate ways to meet basic and complex needs themselves or with the help of the extra-familial system).  Often these families have household staff, i.e., nannies, butlers, drivers, private pilots, cooks, and maids.  They may have available to the business and family lawyers and accountants, as well as, teams of medical professionals and concierge physicians.  Consequently, in almost all situations they are uninvolved in processes, especially those that are difficult, stressful and time-consuming.  ( Fine and Newcombe- Entitlement in the Aging Family, Care Managers Working With the Aging Family)

 

Well-heeled seniors,affluentseniors.jpg

According to the New York Times, may be middle-class retirees who buy shoes from Payless but have a defined pension can afford care at home when they need it and private care management. They rode the post-war economy, held jobs long term and through that defined pension (no 401K) face a very healthy financial picture in aging.  They worked for city, county, state government are teachers, truck drivers, social workers or were union members in all trades. They had a career at Xerox, IBM, Campbell Soup and big Fortune 500 companies.

 

Professionals- Physician, Attorneys, CPAs

This group made a very healthy living during the late 20th Century, probably had a defined pension and have very lucrative investments that allow them to afford home care and care management. They usually come from nearly iStock_000063346301_Medium-1.jpgnormal families and have been well parented although you will find a mixture of dysfunctional aging families. Their adult children tend to be supportive of their parents, although again you will find a mixture of dysfunctional families in this category.

If you are in any of these families, how will you spend the coming holidays with them- and will you spend the future COVID-ridden Holidays with them. If you are a geriatric care manager or geriatric therapist, what will you advise your clients do during this star crossed holiday on ice.?

SIGN UP FOR MY NEW FREE WEBINAR

 

8 Ways to Tame the Turmoil of the Holidays & Twindemic in the Aging Family

 Learn how!

  • How to sell services to the desperate Aging Family during the holiday surge
  • How to give hope to frantic children who call when their aging parent struggling with Loneliness and isolation on the holidays
  • How to help the Aging Family make holiday visits remotely or safely in person
  • How to counsel the Aging Family to track aging decline &Twindemic risk in loved ones
  • How to work with both dysfunctional and long-distance families who call during the holidays
  • How to use GCM tools to contain Holiday chaos
  • How to use financial forecasting to prepare for business growth during the holidays

Sidestep the Many Care Managers Who Do not know how to work with Dysfunctional family or do COVID Coaching of Aging Families so the client chooses you

THIS FREE WEBINAR IS Thursday, December 3, 2020, FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST

Sign Up Now

 

 

 Blog: https://www.cathycress.com/blog/

Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/category/Gerontologist/Cathy-Cress-MSW-633836950007072/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/cathyjocress

Email: cressgcm@got.net

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Aging, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging therapist, ALCA & Skilled Nursing Facility, Blog, Concierge aging clients, Concierge Client, concierge clients, Concierge Senior, COVID & HOLIDAY SEASON, Covid 19 Webinar, Covid Holiday Remote Visit, COVID Webinar, Covid-19 and GCM SERVICES, COVID-19 Webinar, elder care manager, Families, Geriatric Assessment, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, high end clients, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Holiday season, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, Holidays, HolidaySeason and COVID, home care, Long Distance Care, Long distance caregiver, Narcissistic Personality, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Remote Thanksgiving Family Visit, Webinar Tagged With: Aging Concierge client, aging family, aging life care manager, aging parent care, aging parent crisis, care manager, case manager, Certified Senior Advisors, Concierge Care Manager, Covid, COVID & Holiday Season, COVID VIRTUAL CHRISTMAS VISIT, COVID VIRTUAL HANN, COVID VIRTUAL THANKSGIVING VISIT, Covid-19 Telehealth, COVIF VIRTUAL THANKSGIVING VISIT, Entitled, Entitled Family, geriatric care manager, Holiday COVID Celebration, Narcissistic Personality, nurse advocates, nurse care manager, Rich and Famous, Virtual COVID Holiday Celebration, well heeled seniors

What GCM Benefits to Offer Wealth Management- Trust Departments ?

March 17, 2020

Finding Wealthy Clients Through Trust Departments

How do you find long-term clients from the top 10% financially- who can afford geriatric care management and home care and then offer sustainable financial growth to your Aging Life or GCM company?

Some of the hardest clients to find are the probably upper 5%  who have their money managed by a Trust Department of a bank.

How Do You Locate Trust Departments to Market to?

Not all banks have Trust Departments and you want to find banks near you who do. Plus the trust department of a bank usually is not in every bank but in one central bank in a larger city, serving all the branches. For example, I live in small Santa Cruz, California and Northern Trust, and Wells Fargo Trust are all located in San Francisco or Palo Alto.

Once you locate the central trust department then you have to make an appointment and sell yourself to meet with the trust officers. Your sales pitch needs to be uber good enough to allow the trust officer to refer you on to the trust clients, who often have 5 million or more in assets.

 You offer to the trust officer must include superior professional  Gold Standard Concierge Service to Client and Family- Care that the wealth manager and entitled client demand.

But your most compelling sales message to a trust department or any 3rd party is not that you have something wonderful to sell –it is ” I understand what your clients  need  and what will benefit both your wealthy clients and what will benefit you.”

You sell GCM or ALCA to wealth managers through the VIP benefits you bring them through the Benefit”SO” method

You offer high-end services from your resource databases like private drivers, private chefs, car services, exclusive golf clubs and recreation that cater to entitled older clients, and upscale trust clients –Benefit So– the wealth manager will be assured you know what his high-end clients prefer for services

You explain that you are skilled in working with difficult entitled clients who can be narcissistic, demanding and unreasonable- Benefit- So the wealth manager can do what they do best= manage money and you can solve the dysfunctional family issues that wealthy difficult families are plagued with when agreeing on the best care needs for their parents.

Regularly monitor the status of an older client and report back to the financial advisors when a change in care needs or level of care is needed  Benefit so the wealth manager can work with her clients financial needs and you, the professional care manager can assess and inform her about the health and psychosocial needs so  aging problems not become a crisis and are solved preventatively

Organize community resources for clients so have the highest quality VIP health care and quality of life  Benefit so the wealth  manager can suggest the most gold standard and highest quality services in the community to meet her clients needs as he ages

Make clients feel engaged with your health and social services concierge who works with them individually and understand their exclusive needs -Benefit So the entitled trust client feel that they have a 1-1 concierge who will serve them individually  in finding the best, VIP care, they feel they deserve

  Free Webinar-Sales and Marketing to Find the VIP Concierge Client

March 31, 2020 -2PM -3:30 PM PST

Concierge Clients are the only way a GCM or ALCA care manager can make a profit and have their business thrive. Find out who are they, how you find them, design GCM Products they will purchase, and create a marketing plan and gold standard services to have them sign your contract and use your services long term

Learn

Who They Are- 4 Types of Concierge Clients

How to Locate them in your service area

How to create a strategic marketing plan to sell to them

How to Develop Gold Standard GCM Products and Services

 

SIGN UP NOW

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Aging, aging family crisis, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Blog, case manager, Concierge Senior, elder abuse, elder care manager, Fiscal Elder Abuse, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, Marketing aging life care, marketing care management, marketing to concierge clients, marketing to the top 10$, Narcissistic Personality, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Webinar Tagged With: aging family, aging life care manager, aging parent care, aging parent crisis, Benefits, benefits of ALCA, Benefits Of Geriatric Care Managers, benefits to 3rd parties, care manager, dysfunctional aging family, Entitled Family, marketing to wealth manager, Narcissism, Narcissistic Personality, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, reaching top 10% elder, Wealth Management Banks, wealthy clients

What GCM Benefits to Offer Wealth Management- Trust Departments ?

February 11, 2020

Signing Up ENTITLED CLIENTS

How do you find long-term clients from the top 10% financially- who can afford geriatric care management and home care and then offer sustainable financial growth to your Aging Life or GCM company?

 You offer superior professional  Gold Standard Concierge Service to Client and Family- Care that the wealth manager and entitled client demand.

But your most compelling sales message to a trust department or any 3rd party is not that you have something wonderful to sell it is ” I understand what you need what will benefit you.”

You sell GCM or ALCA to wealth managers through the VIP benefits you bring them through the Benefit”SO” method

You offer high-end services from your resource databases like private drivers, private chefs, car services, exclusive golf clubs and recreation that cater to entitled older clients, and upscale trust clients –Benefit So– the wealth manager will be assured you know what his high-end clients prefer for services

Are skilled in working with difficult entitled clients who can be narcissistic, demanding and unreasonable- Benefit- So the wealth manager can do what they do best= manage money and you can solve the dysfunctional family issues that wealthy difficult families are plagued with when agreeing on the best care needs for their parents.

Regularly monitor the status of an older client and report back to the financial advisors when a change in care needs or level of care is needed  Benefit so the wealth manager can work with her clients financial needs and you, professional care manager can assess and inform her about the health and psychosocial needs so  aging problems not become a crisis and are solved preventatively

Organize community resources for clients so have the highest quality VIP health care and quality of life  Benefit so the wealth  manager can suggest the most gold standard and highest quality services in the community to meet her clients needs as he ages

Make clients feel engaged with your health and social services concierge who works with them individually and understand their exclusive needs -Benefit So the entitled trust client feel that they have a 1-1 concierge who will serve them individually  in finding the best, VIP care, they feel they deserve

Join me in my new FREE Webinar
Learn to Sell Benefits not Features to Third Parties to Grow Your Care Management Bottom Line

When: February,20th 2020
2 PM-3:30 PM PST
Learn
 

What is a benefit vs features and how to find benefits for each 3rd party you market to?

What specific problems you solve for wealth managers, elder law attorneys, and concierge physicians  

What specific problems to solve for upscale Assisted Living, accountants, financial planners, MD’s  

Step by Step how to set up meetings with 3rd parties to make the sale

SIGN UP

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Aging, aging family crisis, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Blog, case manager, Concierge Senior, elder abuse, elder care manager, Fiscal Elder Abuse, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, Marketing aging life care, marketing care management, marketing to concierge clients, marketing to the top 10$, Narcissistic Personality, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Webinar Tagged With: aging family, aging life care manager, aging parent care, aging parent crisis, Benefits, benefits of ALCA, Benefits Of Geriatric Care Managers, benefits to 3rd parties, care manager, dysfunctional aging family, Entitled Family, marketing to wealth manager, Narcissism, Narcissistic Personality, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, reaching top 10% elder, Wealth Management Banks, wealthy clients

10 Steps to Serve Demanding Wealthy Long Term Aging Clients Like Donald Trump

December 11, 2019

MANAGING ENTITLED CLIENTS

How Do You Deliver and serve long-term clients from the top 10% financially- who can offer sustainable financial growth to your Aging Life or GCM company?

 

You offer superior professional  Gold Standard Concierge Service to Client and Family- Care they demand.

 

 You offer preventative care to avoid crisis and chaos that can be there MO -Helps Keep Clients Out of E room and nursing homes and keep them at home where they wish to be and you from losing the case.

You write or rewrite your business plan that has a value proposition in your marketing plan to reach your target markets to concierge clients in the upper 10% and the third parties who in many cases serve them as well, like elder law attorneys and upscale assisted living.

 

10 CARE AND FEEDING TIPS TO KEEP ENTITLED CLIENTS LONG TERM 

  1. Deliver gold standard concierge service
  2. Offer confidential services that clients and families can trust
  3. Do not have the VIP syndrome  with these sometimes famous clients
  4. Serve whole aging family where adult children are entitled and difficult as well.
  5. Provide a GPS through health care needs so that best care is delivered seamlessly
  6. Have a full GCM toolbox and know all community resources –to change tools as client change and age safely in place
  7. Refer or provide skilled background checked home care aides who meet the need of entitled clients
  8. Be willing and skilled enough to accept difficult entitled clients who are narcissistic, demanding and unreasonable like Donald Trump , Sumner Redstone, Huguette Clark 
  9. Have someone on your staff who has a clinical background in dysfunctional aging families, and psychodynamic diagnosis, and understands undue influence 
  10. Have upscale resources in your resource database like private drivers, private chefs, car services, upscale golf clubs that cater to older clients, and upscale assisted living

FREE Webinar

LEARN HOW TO MARKET LIKE YOUR BUSINESS DEPENDED ON IT 

January 23 @ 2:00 pm – 3:00 pm PST

The busiest season for care managers is January & February after as adult children have just visited for the holiday and seeing their elderly parents skating on very thin aging ice

Learn care management marketing so you can:

Capture those desperate clients in January after the festive fright-

Develop strategic marketing that brings more customers,

Understand branding

Develop a positioning strategy so the caller chooses you

Understand lead generation in care management

Get the best marketing software  

Create a 5 Star Marketing Plan for the top 10% of seniors who can afford you.

Click Here To Register 

FIND OUT MORE 

THIS FREE  WEBINAR  FROM 2 PM – 3 PM PST January 23, 2020

 

SIGN UP NOW  

 

 

 

Filed Under: Aging, aging family crisis, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Blog, case manager, Concierge Senior, elder abuse, elder care manager, Fiscal Elder Abuse, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, Marketing aging life care, marketing care management, marketing to concierge clients, marketing to the top 10$, Narcissistic Personality, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Webinar Tagged With: aging family, aging life care manager, aging parent care, aging parent crisis, care manager, Donald Trump, dysfunctional aging family, Entitled Family, Narcissism, Narcissistic Personality, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Sumner Redstone

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