Warning Signs of Aging Dysfunctional Family – Contentiouness, Anger, and Cut Off
Do you know the 10 clinical manifestations that you are working with the dysfunctional family, the most challenging job of an aging professional. What you have to know is family system theory and be clinically skilled in entering this treacherous family system – to get care for an older person
1. Contentiousness – Old fights erupt; the siblings and parent get into arguments with one another 
about an old issue
2. Anger – Siblings and family members express physical anger, emotional abuse, financial abuse
3. Distancing & cut off – Some siblings or parents have nothing to do with family and may not speak to parents or siblings for long periods of time.
Warning Signs of Aging Dysfunctional Family – Fusion, Denial, Triangulation, Entitlement
4. Fusion – Siblings and family members, such as the mother and eldest daughter, blend into one another, For example, the daughter’s sounds, acts, and has the same prejudices as the mother. . Think of the media’s portrayal of Lindsay Lohan and her mother.
5. Denial – Adult siblings do not see a decline in a parent, do not face reality, and do not take care of the 
parent if he or she needs care.
6. Triangulation – Tension between two family members or siblings causes one to enlist a third family member or sibling to avoid change For example, two adult sibling object to the cost of care of an aging parent. They gang up on the third adult sibling who thinks the cost of care is reasonable and justified.
7. Sense of Entitlement – Siblings who are accustomed to purchasing services they need not personally solving their own, children’s sibling or parents’ problems. This lack of engagement leaves them, unprepared and unwilling in getting involved in solving family tribulations.
Warning Signs of Aging Dysfunctional Family – Narcissism, Needy Adult Siblings, Substance Abuse and Cut Off
8. Narcissism – One or more siblings has an “it’s all about me” attitude and
other siblings resent this. The self-absorbed sibling either does not participate
9. Needy Adult Siblings – These adult siblings feel starved for affection and often seek affection from 
professionals and other people in their lives for compensation for the care they didn’t receive as children.
10 . Substance and Other Abuse – The family and siblings have a history of drug, alcohol, and/or child abuse.
If this fits you you and your aging parent needs care may need to contact a geriatric care manager.
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- Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist
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paid others to meet their needs (as opposed to families who must themselves find and orchestrate ways to meet basic and complex needs themselves or with the help of the extra-familial system). Often these families have household staff, i.e., nannies, butlers, drivers, private pilots, cooks, and maids. They may have available to the business and family lawyers and accountants, as well as, teams of medical professionals and concierge physicians. Consequently, in almost all situations they are uninvolved in processes, especially those that are difficult, stressful and time-consuming. ( Fine and Newcombe- Entitlement in the Aging Family, Care Managers Working With the Aging Family)
normal families and have been well parented although you will find a mixture of dysfunctional aging families. Their adult children tend to be supportive of their parents, although again you will find a mixture of dysfunctional families in this category.
