Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

Nearly Normal Family- How They Face Disagreements

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Nearly normal families accept differences of opinion as inevitable, realizing that settling family disagreements is not only an ordinary part of decision-making, but also an opportunity to expand their individual thinking, which enables them to make better-informed decisions. They “lock arms” to address the problems they encounter and have, in fact, locked arms to solve problems all of their lives. If you read Nobel Prize winning author John Steinbeck’s , East of Eden,the  Hamilton clan is a nearly normal family as opposed to the Trask family where Mrs. Trask shoots her husband, abandons her twins at birth and starts a whorehouse. On Modern Family, The Emmy winning TV sitcom, the members are actually a nearly normal family with all their flaws but in the end, when difficulty approaches,  they band together as a family.

Interventions in a Dual Assessment – How?

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Interventions in a care plan- how do you craft them? First of all, what are they in simple terms – they are solutions to the problems of your geriatric care management or aging client.

Where do you find them? You find the interventions for your care plan in your completed assessment tools and their care plans. You tailor these interventions to the client.

For example, consider my You Tube Dual Assessment March 14 with Mr. Tommy Jefferson – Mr. Jefferson problems includes self-care deficits. His care provider is his “significant other-“Sally Hemingway, who is in her 80’s. They are living together as a couple. She is presently assisting him with bathing, dressing, making meals shopping and driving.

You, the geriatric care manager , or aging professional ,has done a dual assessment of both Sally, the family care provider and Tommy, the care receiver. Through your functional and psychosocial assessment a have Mr. Jefferson and caregiver assessment of Sally Hemingway, you know you need to craft new interventions for this couple. .

You realize that a new intervention is needed, as Sally is 80 and risks injury to herself both physically and mentally. So the new intervention to this problem might be hiring a paid care provider to come in to protect her health and give her respite. Each intervention must have a clear plan.

Part 2 How Do you Craft a Care Plan for a Dual Assessment

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Are Your Children a Sibling Family Team?

Some families show their offspring how to work as a team in childhood. Parents teach siblings to form a team through creating them. So parents organize and run garage sales as a family, having every child help, they to get ready for the family vacation, by sisters and brothers all taking a job or before school to get out the door when Mom left for work early, one siblings makes sandwiches, one puts lunch in everyone’s backpack and on child checks that on everyone has an umbrella if it’s rainy.

These families carry out both tasks and participate in family fun as a team and foster team spirit by working together as a team. Some families need to organize sibling in a team in childhood. They may have regular sibling family meetings where children can talk about both positive and negative subjects with the parents as a mediator. In this way they learn the format for a sibling and family team consensus.

Some parents in families foster no team spirit. These families can usually benefit by a sibling family meeting the most and have the hardest time reaching a consensus in the beginning. They can learn consensus and having a sibling family work as a team through childhood family meetings.

 

Eleven Rules For Being A Stepgrandparent

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Are you a step grandparent? Because of divorce, I am step grandma to more than half of my ten grandchildren. Six of my grandchildren have blood grandma’s- at least two each. I am the third grandmother but really never feel like the third wheel. I feel like all 10 are my grandchildren.

Right now I am in LA with 5 grandchildren, 2 blood twin siblings,my  14 month old grandsons, one step granddaughter ten, one step granddaughter fourteen and one blood granddaughter nineteen, plus a step daughter and step daughter in law. The boy siblings were not included as this is girl cousins weekend. The boy siblings step and blood siblings  will have another event All the girls and Moms are going to Disneyland today with my blood daughter while I watch her twins. If this sounds complicated, it is. So is putting back together broken families

This has taken years building trust and love with my stepchildren with many setbacks. To the step grandchildren- it came easily. I love them as much as my 4 blood grandchildren.

It’s a confusing role with no script.  As divorce a re-engineers American families, the chaotic remix mints more and more step grandparents. Two out of five American families now include a step grandparent.

You are coping with the crazy quilt of the modern family. It’ truly like the TV comedy Modern Family , a satire on the real experience, minus the step grandparents who should be added to the cast. You’ve got the that American family or the Brady bunch on steroids.

Think of this like blending families when your adult kids first married. You have the original blueprints. With the extended family, you have no blueprints and you have to build a metaphorical room for your stepchildren and step grandchildren and make sure your blood grandchildren’s room gets retrofitted.

Being a step grandparent is about love and action – not blood. So here are some tips

about putting that love into action.

1. Relationships grow over time. Don’t expect your step grandkids to love you instantly and the same with you.

2. Stepfamilies are born of loss- help step and blood grandchildren heal. Spread unconditional hugs and acceptance over every part of this new family.

3. Conflict is normal in stepfamilies- Use listening skills, don’t criticize, encourage talking openly, and back the parents’ rules and expectations.

4. Spend one to one time with each grandchild and step grandchild.

5. Focus on the needs of the children, not your wishes for the relationship.

6.Find out what you step grandkids like-and get it- what they do and do it with them.

7. Think equal- if you have six steps and four bloods like me- get equal gifts or give equal time.

7. Know your part in the play-you are the supporting cast, not the star of the show.

8. Stay in the moment- does not pry into the past.

9. Go to all special events – be that supportive cast.

10. Cheer for their accomplishments – don’t be a critic -be the support system.

11. Create join events and rituals – that’s what we are doing today and will repeat next year- it works.

 

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