Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

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What Happens When High Priestess of the Holidays Falls off her Throne?

December 13, 2021

 

Mothers are the high priestess of the ritual- like Queen Elizabeth without servants.

This sets up a filial crisis as women age. The UK estimated that there are 25 to-do’s women have on the holiday. It takes years to accumulate objects ritual dishes and religious objects used. It takes the left side of your brain executive skills, plans and organize, remember details, does things based on your experience. This eventually leads to a filial crisis and passing the torch.

Holidays are often done on autopilot

Women as they age –recalling all the jobs that must be done year after year get worn down in their assigned role as ” Mothers are the high priestess of the ritual.”

 It also takes their IADLs- (Instrumental Activities of Daily Living) meal planning, shopping, plus ambulation. Then add depression – widowhood, loss and you have the challenges of aging in managing these entire titanic rituals mothers are assigned by society.  Many times the aging Mom can no longer balance all these plates and the holidays shatter with the crashing ritual dishes.

When Mom Cannot do all the Holiday Preparation a Filial Crisis Occurs

 

Then the torch has to be passed and an adult child (usually an adult daughter must take over to resolve this filial crisis. This passing the torch is like secession, – Princess Elizabeth taking over for her Dad, King George, (who hated it and had a lifelong stutter) made famous in The King’s Speech who was handed the throne by his brother Edward who quit being king.   

WhenMom needs to Pass the Torch-Some  Baby Boomers Kids Shocked

Baby boomer-adult children and aging parents are unprepared by their own culture for this new developmental phase of passing the torch. They do not expect it as they did

the nights of the crying newborn or the rebellious teen, and are thrown off balance by the sometimes sudden and usually unexpected loss of their anchoring aging parents, when they find elderly mom is unable to pull off running the holidays  Indeed, what must happen in this new developmental phase is that the adult child must evolve beyond the needy child, he or she has been, depending on his or her parents for that fiscal, emotional, social support and ritual organizing parents, like managing the officiating over the Christmas or Hanukkah celebration and take on filial responsibility to avoid a filial crisis.

 Geriatric Care Manager to the Rescue

In the normal healthy family system this filial crisis of Holiday rituals can be overcome and the adult children with the brief help of an aging life or geriatric care manager they can let go of their former dependent roles and confront their parent’s loss by organizing and providing care. They can take over Christmas and Hanukkah by stepping in and grabbing that torch.

Geriatric care managers understand that the adult child must transition to what social work pioneer Margaret Blenkner labeled the filial crisis to filial maturity or a new mature state where they, as midlife adults, can give up their former roles as dependent, needy children and start to provide care to their old/old parents.

Dysfunctional Family Do Not Want to Take Over for Mom

In the dysfunctional aging family, this filial crisis is incredibly hard to trounce from both the parents’ and the adult child’s point of view. They really need a geriatric care manager’s services

Sign Up for My Free January Webinar  

11 Vital Clinical Tools For Desperate Families Post-Holidays

             Thursday, Jan 6, 2022, 02:00 PM Pacific Time (the US and Canada)

 

  Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday  

 Join me Post-holiday and learn how to come to clinically rescue concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stocking.      

Learn how to!

  • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
  • Master 11Vital Clinical Tools you to solve client problems
  • Take Six Clinical Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families
  • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

 SIGN UP NOW 

  1.  

    Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

     

Filed Under: ADL Loss & Holidays, Aging Family, aging family crisis, aging life business, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging Mother, Aging therapist, Alzheimers & Holidays, Blog, care manager, case manager, Dementia, Dementia & Holidays, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, elder care manager, Families, Filial Crisis, GCM Webinar, Geriatric Care Management Business, geriatric care management emergency proceduress, geriatric care manager, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Hanukkah, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday on call, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Holiday season, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, Holidays, Nearly Normal Aging Family, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, POST HOLIDAY CALLS, POST HOLIDAY SEASON, sibling rivalry, Sibling Strife Christmas Tagged With: aging life care on holidays, Aging Mom on Christmas, aging Mom on holidays, aging parent crisis, aging parent crisis on holiday, alzheimers & holidays, black aging family, black american geriatric care managers, black american social workers, Black caregivers, Black Entrepreneurs, Black Nurse Entrepreneurs, Black RN's, Black travel nurses, Dementia & Holiday Tasks, dysfunctional family holidays, Filial crisis on Christmas, Filial crisis on Hanahka, geriatric care manager. aging family crisis, Holiday Crisis For Aging Family, holiday misery, Working With Dysfunctional family

Wonder Woman Saves Proactive , Long Distance Aging Family on the Holidays

December 1, 2020

wonder.woman.05.jpg

 

Geriatric care managers are wonder woman for long-distance care providers

 More than a million people have died of COVID in the past 7 days , according to the CDC.

This is an important message for care managers to use before the upcoming holidays. Getting on a plane to travel is dangerous for the long-distance care provider in the

highest national spread of COVID. Plus they might carry the deadly infection to their aging parents, the most vulnerable group to die of COVID. This gives these distant caring family members every reason not to see their parents- but what will they then do to keep them safe- Hire a Geriatric Care Manager.

Add This to Your Ad Copy or Website

If You live Long Distance from an aging parent during the COVID spread, it’s a preventative and prudent idea to have a geriatric care manager in the town where your older relative resides. If your parents are sheltering in place, they can make sure they are safe and use tools to prevent the loneliness and isolation that can set in over the holidays. If there is a crisis, like a COVID diagnosis,

they are right there to professionally manage it. In an urgent situation, a care manager can go to the hospital or emergency room.  This is saner, safer, and more cost-effective than you getting on last-minute, expensive flights without any social distancing protection for you or your aging parents when you see them. Geriatric Care Managers are good insurance.”

Use Telehealth to Market to 3rd Parties Over the Holiday

You can make marketing visits to 3rd parties through HIPAA-compliant video

.

conferencing services like elder law attornies or wealth managers. You can pitch “Before any crisis,  the GCM do an initial assessment and visit your long-distance older client on a regular basis. This is preventative. That way a professional is there for your client  1-1, when you need them and has a health care background to solve the problem.”

Here is a better line for long-distance adult children:

“Think of care managers the way you do one of those blow-up beds. You can pump them

up when you need them in a crisis—perhaps avoid that crisis, and you yourself can sleep more soundly and with more peace of mind in your own bed.

Some of the things a geriatric care manager can do for long-distance care providers are:

1. Save your worry, fear of COVID, and money by helping keep your parent safe from COVID and out of the hospital and you off dangerous emergency long-distance flights.

2.Help your parents avoid loneliness and isolation by arranging virtual quality of life activities to keep them socially engaged while sheltering in place.

4.Facilitate a family discussion of needs, resources, and division of labor among friends family

5. Recommend ways to proactively prepare and plan for a parent’s possible health care crisis like COVID.

6. Work on family cooperation to formulate a realistic parent-care plan.

7.Assess the strengths and weaknesses of all of the potential caregivers if needed

7. Help adult siblings resolve conflicts, if any, about care decisions.

8. Help the long-distance care provider deal with guilt and frustration that may result from their inability to provide more of the day-to-day care.worriedwoman300dpi-copy-e1425605439440.jpg

9. Locate aging resources in your elder parents’ area quickly and without you having to do it.

Learn more about gaining new long-distance care provider clients -this coming holiday season.

SIGN UP FOR MY HOLIDAY WEBINAR

8 Ways to Tame the Turmoil of the Holidays & Twindemic in the Aging Family

ONLY 4 DAYS LEFT to SIGN UP

 Learn how!

  • How to sell services to the desperate Aging Family during the holiday surge
  • How to give hope to frantic children who call when their aging parent struggling with Loneliness and isolation on the holidays
  • How to help the Aging Family make holiday visits remotely or safely in person
  • How to counsel the Aging Family to track aging decline &Twindemic risk in loved ones
  • How to work with both dysfunctional and long-distance families who call during the holidays
  • How to use GCM tools to contain Holiday chaos
  • How to use financial forecasting to prepare for business growth during the holidays

Sidestep the Many Care Managers Who Do not know how to work with Dysfunctional family or do COVID Coaching of Aging Families so the client chooses you

THIS FREE WEBINAR IS Thursday, December 3, 2020, FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST

Sign Up Now

 

 

Filed Under: Aging, aging family crisis, aging life business, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, care manager, case manager, elder care manager, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, marketing care management, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Webinar Tagged With: aging life care manager, aging parent crisis, case manager, COVID & Holiday Season, COVID Danger Holiday, COVID VIRTUAL CHRISTMAS VISIT, COVID Virtual Hanukkah Visit, Dangerous Travel on Holidays, geraitric assessment, geriatric care manager, help with elders, holiday misery, holiday with aging parents, long distance care provider, Long Distance Family Holiday Visit, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Proactive Aging Family

10 marketing messages for Adult Kids Who Call 911 GCM After Holidays

December 29, 2019

wonder.woman.05.jpg

 

“Geriatric care managers are wonder woman for long-distance care providers? “

This is an important marketing message for care managers to use for the call you will get from long-distance family members who just spent the holidays with aging parents and freaked out at the decline.

So be prepared with terrific marketing copy and messaging when they call you.

Your copy in an ad or website should include-

“It’s a preventative and prudent idea to have a geriatric care manager in the town where your older relative resides. If there is a crisis, it is cheaper to have a GCM solve it. In an urgent situation, a care manager can go to the hospital or emergency room. This is saner and more cost-effective than you getting on last-minute, expensive flights. You can still go but they can immediately be there to deal with the crisis. They are good insurance.

Even when making marketing visits to 3rd parties like elder law attornies or wealth managers, you can pitch “Before any crisis,  the GCM do an initial assessment and visit your long-distance older relative periodically (once a month, once every two months).This is preventative. That way they are there for you when you need them and have all the information to solve the problem.”

Here is a better marketing message for long-distance adult children:

“Think of care managers the way you do one of those “blow-up beds.” You can pump them up when you need them in a crisis—actually avoid that crisis, and you yourself can sleep more soundly and with more peace of mind in your own bed.

Some of the things a geriatric care manager can do for long-distance care providers are:

1. Save you money by helping keep your parent out of the hospital and you off emergency long-distance flights.

2.Facilitate a family discussion of needs, resources, and division of labor among friends family

3. Recommend ways to proactively prepare and plan for a parent’s possible health care crisis.

4. Work on family cooperation to formulate a realistic parent-care plan.

5.Assess the strengths and weaknesses of all of the potential caregivers

6. Help adult siblings resolve conflicts about care decisions.

7. Help siblings act together in the best interest of the parent

8.Decrease the tension between hometown and long distance siblings

9. Help the long-distance care provider deal with guilt and frustration that may result from their inability to provide more of the day-to-day care.

10. Locate aging resources in your elder parents’ area quickly and without you having to do it.

Learn more about gaining new long-distance care provider clients -this coming holiday season.

FREE Webinar

LEARN HOW TO MARKET LIKE YOUR BUSINESS DEPENDED ON IT 

January 23 @ 2:00 pm – 3:00 pm PST

The busiest season for care managers is January & February after as adult children have just visited for the holiday and seeing their elderly parents skating on very thin aging ice

Learn care management marketing so you can:

Capture those desperate clients in January after the festive fright-                   

Develop strategic marketing that brings more customers,

Understand branding         

Develop a positioning strategy so the caller chooses you

Understand lead generation in care management

Get the best marketing software  

Create a 5 Star Marketing Plan for the top 10% of seniors who can afford you.

Click Here To Register 

FIND OUT MORE 

THIS FREE  WEBINAR  FROM 2 PM – 3 PM PST January 23, 2020

SIGN UP NOW  

 

Join me in my new  FREE Webinar                 

 

Filed Under: Aging, aging family crisis, aging life business, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Care Management Products, care management start-up, care manager, case manager, elder care manager, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, inquiry call, Marketing aging life care, marketing care management, marketing to concierge clients, marketing to long distance adult children, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Webinar Tagged With: aging family, aging life care manager, aging life or geriatric care marketing plan, aging parent crisis, care manager marketing, caregiver burnout, case manager, geraitric care manager, geriatric care manager, geriatric care marketing, help with elders, holiday misery, holiday with aging parents, long distance care provider, marketing plan, Marketing to long distance care providerse, nurse advocate, nurse care manager

911- My Aging Parents Looked Bad on Holidays

October 22, 2018

wonder.woman.05.jpg

 

“Geriatric care managers are wonder woman for long-distance care providers? ” This is an important message for care managers to use before the upcoming holidays.
Your copy in an ad or website should include-

“It’s a preventative and prudent idea to have a geriatric care manager in the town where your older relative resides. If there is a crisis, it is cheaper to have a GCM solve it. In an urgent situation, a care manager can go to the hospital or emergency room. This is saner and more cost-effective than you getting on last-minute, expensive flights. You can still go but they can immediately be there to deal with the crisis. They are good insurance.

Even when making marketing visits to 3rd parties like elder law attornies or wealth managers, you can pitch “Before any crisis,  the GCM do an initial assessment and visit your long distance older relative periodically (once a month, once every two months).This is preventative. That way they are there for you when you need them and have all the information to solve the problem.”

Here is a better line for long distance adult children:

“Think of care managers the way you do one of those blow-up beds. You can pump them up when you need them in a crisis—perhaps avoid that crisis, and you yourself can sleep more soundly and with more peace of mind in your own bed.

Some of the things a geriatric care manager can do for long distance care providers are:

1. Save you money by helping keep your parent out of the hospital and you off emergency long-distance flights.

2.Facilitate a family discussion of needs, resources, and division of labor among friends family

3. Recommend ways to proactively prepare and plan for a parent’s possible health care crisis.

4. Work on family cooperation to formulate a realistic parent-care plan.

5.Assess the strengths and weaknesses of all of the potential caregivers

6. Help adult siblings resolve conflicts about care decisions.

7. Help siblings act together in the best interest of the parent

8.Decrease the tension between hometown and long distance siblings

9. Help the long-distance care provider deal with guilt and frustration that may result from their inability to provide more of the day-to-day care.

10. Locate aging resources in your elder parents area quickly and without you having to do it.

Learn more about gaining new long-distance care provider clients -this coming holiday season.

Join me in my new Webinar

5 Ways to Tame the Turbulence of Holiday Meltdown in Aging Families   

During the busiest season for care management referrals-

 

You Will Learn:

  • How to give hope to frantic children who call, after seeing their aging parent struggling with the rituals
  • How to sell services to desperate adult child callers
  • How to use GCM tools to contain Holiday chaos
  • How to use financial forecasting to prepare for growth during the holidays
  • How to work with both dysfunctional and long-distance families who call during the holidays
    • Sign Up

Filed Under: Aging, aging family crisis, aging life business, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, care manager, case manager, elder care manager, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, marketing care management, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Webinar Tagged With: aging life care manager, aging parent crisis, case manager, geraitric assessment, geriatric care manager, help with elders, holiday misery, holiday with aging parents, long distance care provider, nurse advocate, nurse care manager

Grandma Burned the Turkey, Grandpa Drank Too Many Cocktails- What to Do??

November 11, 2015

facebook-holiday-post-4.png

 

Festive freak-out? Learn the care management

 

skills to transform the holiday chaos from Cathy

 

Cress MSW, author of the Handbook of Geriatric

 

Care Management 

 

Learn 5 Care Management Steps to give Aging

 

Families Hope and  Good Cheer in the New Year

 

Join my webinar! 

Filed Under: Aging Tagged With: aging life and geriatric care management, holiday misery, holidays with aging parents, Thanksgiving with aging parents, visting aging parents during the holiday

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