Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

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End of Life-When Do You Need Mediation?

February 23, 2021

Why do some families need mediation at the end of life? Mediation is a voluntary process in which the parties, with the help of an impartial third party mediator, work together to resolve their differences or solve a problem they were unable to address satisfactorily without help. These family differences especially happen to dysfunctional families but can beset any family at the end of life. They are faced with overwhelming emotions and decisions that demand that the family work together as a team. What happens to dysfunctional and even nearly normal families during this trying time? They don’t gather as a team. They fight. They fret and they feud. What are the results of this fighting, fretting, and feuding in families at the end of life?                                        family-charis1-226x300.jpg

Unresolved family conflicts emerge

            Dysfunctional families become more dysfunctional

Family members’ grief, pain, and anxiety are often masked as anger and presents as conflict (past and present)                                                 

Older person dies without resolving important family issues

Older person dies in conflict, not in peace

Deliver a Good End of Life- Add Death and Dying to Your Care Management Agency

 

Serve Your Client Until Death Do You Part

 

Join me Thursday, March 11, and learn why End of Life Services Are a perfect new service for care managers 

 In this 1 ½ -hour webinar you will learn how to 

  • Transition the patient/family through the five stages of death     
  • Help clients be active participants in their care
  • Give the family/caregiver tools to manage care
  • Provide family center care to caregiver and family
  • Choose the right support services through all stages of death
  • Introduce Hospice and Palliative care and work with their team
  • Use ALCA End of Life Benefits During COVID
  • Use  COVID -19  Family Coaching for GCM
  • Sign Up    

If you really want to add End of Life to your care management business sign up for this webinar now

 

Filed Under: Aging, aging life care manager, Death & Dying, Death and Dying Care Management, death and dying care manager, DNR, End of Life, End of Life Care manager, GCM role Death and Dying, geriatric social worker, Good Death, Hospice, Hospice Care, mediation, Mediation End of Life, Mediator, nurse care manager Tagged With: Advanced Directives, aging parent, aging parent care, aging parent crisis, ALCA care Manager, ALCA in End Of Life, disputes at end of life, dysfunctional aging family, dysfuntional family, elder mediation, end of life, end of life family meeting, facilitator, families fretting at end of life, family meeting, Fighting and Feuding at end of life, GCM mediator, geraitric care manager, Geriatric Assessment, geriatric care manager, geriatric care managers, Handbook of Geriatric Care Management third edition, mediation, mediation end of life, mediiator, My Geraitric Care Management Operations Manual, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, power of attorney for health care, siblings feuding, siblings fighting, step sibling family meeting

Long Distance Care Providers -GCM’s Facilitate Family Meeting

March 17, 2014

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Filed Under: Aging Tagged With: adult child family meetings, facilitator, family meeting, geriatric care manager

Professionals Mediating Fighting and Feuding at the End of Life-

April 15, 2013

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May is National Geriatric Care Manager’s Month I will be speaking at the 29th annual Conference of the National Association of Professional Care Manager’s in Philadelphia on Friday April 19th. I will cover the thorny topic, The GCM as the Accidental Mediator: Fretting and Fighting or Feuding: Intergenerational Conflict in the Adult Family at End of Life. If you are interested in attending and learning more you can still register and attend the conference. . If you are considering this growing profession, I wrote the textbook Handbook of Geriatric Care Management,that is now out in it’s 3rd edition. If you think of opening a GCM agency, I just published the first manual on how to operate a geriatric care management agency My Geriatric Care Management Operations Manual. 

Filed Under: Aging Tagged With: aging family, aging parent care, aging parent crisis, case manager, Dana Curtis, disputes at end of life, dysfuntional family, elderly at end of life, end of life, facilitator, family caregivers, Fighting and Feuding at end of life, geraitric assessment, geraitric care manager, Handbook of Geriatric Care Management third edition, home modification, Hospice, informal caregiver, Marriage and Family Therapist, mediation, mediator, mediiator, MFT, My Geraitric Care Management Operations Manual, National Association of Geriatric Care Managers, National Association of Geriatric Care Managers Conference, red flags for a family meeting, sibling family meeting, sibling rivalry, sibling team, sibling teamwork, siblings feuding

Caregiver Stress? Have a Sibling Caregiver Family Meeting

September 7, 2012

 

 

Whether you and your adult siblings employ formal paid caregivers or one or more adult siblings are doing the care themselves, a family meeting about caregiving issues in vital part of caring for an aging parent.

 

Why should you and your adult siblings organize and run a caregiver family meeting? Caregiver burnout is one of the main reasons aging parents are placed in a nursing home unnecessarily. A family caregiver’s, who can one of your siblings or even your aging mother, risks serious injury, depression and even death in caregiving for older adults. Caregiver stress and burden and how to deal with that caregiver overwhelm, is an essential reason for a caregiver family meeting.

 

A second main reason to have a caregiver family meeting is to fairly divide up the care among the adult siblings and family. Having one sibling caregiver or one aging spouses assume most of the care creates caregiver burden, risking physical and mental breakdown of the caregiver.

 

So adult siblings should hold a caregiver family meeting preferably ahead of a crisis, or in that crisis to save the main family caregiver, usually a sibling or spouse, from about throwing up her hands and quitting.

 

What can you do in a caregiver family meeting? You can put together a critical action plan or list to solve caregiver problems for the immediate safety of the caregiver and the care receiver. (elder who is receiving care)

I would highly recommend hiring a geriatric care manager to do a caregiver assessment before the meeting. The geriatric care manager can objectively and professionally assess both the caregiver and care receiver and give the family important feedback. The GCM can advise you as an adult sibling family, on both the issues to cover in the family meeting and how to set up and run the caregiver family meeting. The geriatric care manager can help key members organize the meeting.

If you are a” nearly normal family,” and all siblings locks arms in a crisis, the GCM can act as a facilitator, because facilitation is a meeting management skill. If you are a dysfunctional family and instead of locking arms the siblings blame each other in a crisis the GCM will probably suggest a mediator.

A professional mediator will organize and manage a sibling family meeting on caregiving that can successfully reconcile alienated siblings with each other and bring them back into the sibling group.

The mediator can then organize the adult siblings and larger family to solve the caregiver issues, before the caregiving of an aging parents breaks down and the disaster could have been avoided with the caregiver family meeting, with the help and professional guidance of a geriatric care manager.

Filed Under: Aging Tagged With: aging parent, caregiver, caregiver family meeting, caregiver overload, caregiver overload with sisters, caregiver overwhelm, caregiver stress, caregiving family members, facilitator, family meeting, informal caregiver, mediator, midlife siblings, sibling, stress and burden

Do You and Your Midlife Siblings Have Communication Problems?

August 30, 2012

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Do you have midlife sibling communication problems? Is one sibling not speaking to another? Is a sibling cut from the rest of the family? Do you just have trouble getting through to the sister who always bossed you around as a kid? Is the root a much deeper trail to a darker part of your childhood?

One or more brothers or sisters may realize that his or her siblings have difficulty in communicating. They would like to change that dynamic and work to become a more friendly, loving team in midlife and through the second half of their life. Consider a family meeting on midlife sibling communication.

 

 

Filed Under: Aging Tagged With: aging parent crisis, caregiver overload, crisis with aging parents, facilitator, family meeting, favorite sibling, Gender bias in caregiving, midlife sibling team, midlife siblings, You Tube, You Tube Mom Loves You Best Channel

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