Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

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Can Blue Blue Christmas and Hanukkah Come From Dementia ?

December 2, 2020

As Elvis Predicted

Many families have a Blue Blue Christmas-or Hanukkah. Why does an aging crisis occur so often during the holidays? How can so many desperate adult children get care managers on the phone and howl about Mom or Dad in December? There are a million bad reasons, – too much alcohol, too many folks who do not get along and drink that alcohol.  But the physical basis for all of this misery in an elder is often a loss of executive function and IADL’s and ADL’s

Why ADL’s and IADL’s.

It takes  IADLs- (Instrumental Activities of Daily Living) shopping for gifts, cooking ritual meals and ADL’s walking to shopping

, decorate serve a ritual meal, climbing ( getting all those decorations out of the attic), grooming ( Mom can be found – in a “messy ensemble” at the feast) by the older person in charge of the holiday to pull it off.  Then add depression to the aging stew – widowhood, loneliness and you have the challenges to an elder, usually the woman in the family,  in managing this entire titanic ritual.

Crash of Executive Skills

The holidays in aging families can be a disaster for another neurological reason. Mom or Dad’s Executive Skills have crashed just like a computer.

Executive functioning involves the ability to organize, plan, and carry out a set of tasks in an efficient manner. It also includes the ability to self-monitor and control our behaviors and multiple other cognitive functions and to perform the goal-directed behavior. It can be described as high-level thinking skills that control and direct lower levels of cognitive functioning.

Planning for the holidays takes those high-level thinking skills -to execute and carry out 25 different major tasks according to a study in the UK- Just think, planning a 

specific holiday ritual menu,( brisket and latkes or popovers and beef prime rib )- then shopping for it cooking it, planning the ritual items in the celebration – a menorah and

Hanukkah bush, Christmas tree, and creche buying them or getting them out of storage on and on.

Why we may end up with burned brisket or turkey.

This is a massive task event/ planning job taken on by one woman usually and as executive functioning power down in her brain- the computer-, which is our aging brain starts to crash- the result- the family freaks out because Mom forgot the ritual steps.

That’s why we need aging life or geriatric care managers to help divide the tasks when Mom cannot do this any longer

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel to learn More- Geriatric Care 1 

SIGN UP FOR MY HOLIDAY WEBINAR

FINAL DAY TO SIGN UP!

8 Ways to Tame the Turmoil of the Holidays & Twindemic in the Aging Family

 

 Learn how!

  • How to sell services to the desperate Aging Family during the holiday surge
  • How to give hope to frantic children who call when their aging parent struggling with Loneliness and isolation on the holidays
  • How to help the Aging Family make holiday visits remotely or safely in person
  • How to counsel the Aging Family to track aging decline &Twindemic risk in loved ones
  • How to work with both dysfunctional and long-distance families who call during the holidays
  • How to use GCM tools to contain Holiday chaos
  • How to use financial forecasting to prepare for business growth during the holidays

Sidestep the Many Care Managers Who Do not know how to work with Dysfunctional family or do COVID Coaching of Aging Families so the client chooses you

THIS FREE WEBINAR IS Thursday, December 3, 2020, FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST

Sign Up Now

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: ADL Loss & Holidays, Aging, Aging Family, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Alzheimers, Alzheimers & Holidays, Blog, care manager, case manager, Concierge Senior, Dementia, Dementia & Holidays, Dysfunctional aging family, Families, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Long Distance Care, nurse advocate, nurse care manager Tagged With: aging family, aging life care manager, aging parent crisis, Alzheimers, alzheimers & holidays, care manager, case manager, case manager geriatric social worker, COVID & Christmas, COVID & Holiday Season, COVID Virtual Hanukkah Visit, Dementia & Holiday Tasks, early Alzheimers, Executive Skills, Functional Assessment, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, holidays with aging parents, IADLs, nurse advocate, nurse care manager

Can Blue Blue Christmas and Hanukkah Come From The Aging Brain Losing Power ?

December 3, 2019

As Elvis Predicted

Many families have a Blue Blue Christmas-or Hanukkah. Why does an aging crisis occur so often during the holidays? How can so many desperate adult children get care managers on the phone and howl about Mom or Dad in December? There are a million bad reasons, – too much alcohol, too many folks who do not get along and drink that alcohol.  But the physical basis for all of this misery in an elder is often a loss of executive function and IADL’s and ADL’s

Why ADL’s and IADL’s.

It takes  IADLs- (Instrumental Activities of Daily Living) shopping for gifts, cooking ritual meals and ADL’s walking to shop,decorate serve a ritual meal, climbing ( getting all those decorations out of the attic), grooming ( Mom can be found – in a “messy ensemble” at the feast) by the older person in charge of the holiday to pull it off.  Then add depression to the aging stew – widowhood, loneliness and you have the challenges to an elder, usually the woman in the family,  in managing this entire titanic ritual.

Crash of Executive Skills

The holidays in aging families can be a disaster for another neurological reason. Mom or Dad’s Executive Skills have crashed just like a computer.

Executive functioning involves the ability to organize, plan and carry out a set of tasks in an efficient manner. It also includes the ability to self-monitor and control our behaviors and multiple other cognitive functions and to perform the goal-directed behavior. It can be described as high-level thinking skills that control and direct lower levels of cognitive functioning.

Planning for the holidays takes those high level thinking skills -to execute and carrying out 25 different major tasks according to a study in the UK- Just think, planning a  specific holiday ritual menu,( brisket and latkes or popovers and beef prime rib )- then shopping for it cooking it, planning the ritual items in the celebration – a menorah and

Hanukkah bush, Christmas tree, and creche buying them or getting them out of storage on and on.

Why we may end up with burned brisket or turkey.

This is a massive task event/ planning job taken on by one woman usually and as executive functioning power down in her brain- the computer-, which is our aging brain starts to crash- the result- the family freaks out because Mom forgot the ritual steps.

That’s why we need aging life or geriatric care managers to help divide the tasks when Mom cannot do this any longer

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel to learn More- Geriatric Care 1 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Aging, Aging Family, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Blog, care manager, case manager, Concierge Senior, Dysfunctional aging family, Families, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Long Distance Care, nurse advocate, nurse care manager Tagged With: aging family, aging life care manager, aging parent crisis, care manager, case manager, case manager geriatric social worker, Executive Skills, Functional Assessment, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, holidays with aging parents, IADLs, nurse advocate, nurse care manager

Why Does The Loss of IADL’s Cause That Blue Blue Christmas and Hanukkah ?

November 2, 2017

 

Why does an aging crisis occur so often during the holidays? Why do so many desperate adult children get you on the phone and howl about Mom or Dad? There are a million bad reasons, – too much alcohol, too many folks who do not get along and drink that alcohol, just another Blue Blue Christmas as Elvis predicted. But the physical basis for all of this in elder is a loss of executive function and IADL’s.

It takes  IADLs- (Instrumental Activities of Daily Living) meal planning, shopping, plus ambulation to the person in charge of the holiday to pull it off. Older people Then add depression – widowhood, loss and you have the challenges of aging in managing this entire titanic ritual.

The holidays are a disaster for another neurological reason. Mom or Dad’s Executive skills have crashed just like a computer.

Executive functioning involves the ability to organize, plan and carry out a set of tasks in an efficient manner. It also includes the ability to self-monitor and control our behaviors and multiple other cognitive functions and to perform the goal-directed behavior. It can be described as high-level thinking skills that control and direct lower levels of cognitive functioning.

Planning for the holidays takes those high level thinking skills organizing planning and carrying out 25 different major tasks according to a study in the UK- Just think, planning a  specific holiday ritual menu,( brisket and latkes or popovers and beef prime rib- then shopping for it cooking it, planning the ritual items in the celebration – a menorah and Hanukkah bush , Christmas tree and creche, buying them or getting them out of storage on and on

This is a massive event/ planning job taken on by one woman usually and as executive functioning powers down in her brain the computer which is our aging brain starts to crash- the result- the family freaks out because Mom forgot the ritual steps.

Join me Wednesday, November 8 and learn how to come to the rescue of Concierge Entitled families who find coal in their stockings.

Wednesday, November 8  @11am Pacific Time

Sign Up Now 

2pm CST/ 4pm EST / 8pm LONDON / 5am SYDNEY   (Find your local time)

Sign Up Now 

The holiday season in the aging dysfunctional family triggers amped up turmoil. Mom can’t cook the turkey, she forgets to wrap presents, Dad’s not just drunk but he’s wandering.                             

In this 1-hour webinar, you will learn the 10 clinical steps to handle these long distance and fractured families when the adult children call a care manager for help when they visit during the coming holiday season

 

 

Filed Under: Aging, Aging Family, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Blog, care manager, case manager, Concierge Senior, Dysfunctional aging family, Families, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Long Distance Care, nurse advocate, nurse care manager Tagged With: aging family, aging life care manager, aging parent crisis, care manager, case manager, case manager geriatric social worker, Executive Skills, Functional Assessment, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, holidays with aging parents, IADLs, nurse advocate, nurse care manager

Aging Mom Can’t Manage The Holiday ? IADL’s & Executive Skills Lost To Make Her Lose Her Crown

December 14, 2016

Holidays have traditionally been women’s job. Mothers are the high priestess of the ritual- like a Queen Elizabeth without servants. UK estimated the there are 25 to do’s women have on the holiday. It takes years to accumulate objects ritual dishes and religious objects used. It takes left side of your brain executive skills, plan and organize, remember details, do things based on your experience. Holidays are often done on auto pilot –recalling all the jobs that must be done year after year. It also takes  IADLs- (Instrumental Activities of Daily Living) meal planning, shopping, plus ambulation. Then add depression – widowhood, loss and you have the challenges of aging in managing this entire titanic ritual.

 

At this point when Mom cannot do all the maybe 75 subsets of holiday preparation and the torch has to be passed and an adult child (usually an adult daughter must take over. This is like secession, – Princess Elizabeth taking over for her Dad, King George, (who hated it and had a lifelong stutter) made famous in the King’s Speech who was handed the throne by his brother Edward who quit being king. Check out the new series  The Crown and you will get my analogy.

 

Baby boomer- adult children and the aging parents are unprepared by their own culture for this new developmental phase of passing the torch. They do not expect it, like they did the nights of the crying newborn or the rebellious teen and are thrown off balance by the sometime sudden and usually unexpected loss of their anchoring aging parents, like when they find Elderly Mom is unable to pull off running the holidays

 Indeed, what must happen in this new developmental phase is that the adult child must evolve beyond the needy child, (I will still have Mom pull of the holiday as she always did) he or she has been, depending on his or her parents for that fiscal, emotional, social support and ritual organizing

 

The baby boomer must transition to what social work pioneer Margaret Blenkner  calls filial maturity or a new mature state where they, as midlife adults, can give up their former roles as dependent, needy children and start to provide care to their old/old parents, like managing of officiating over the Christmas or Hanukkah celebration.

 

In the normal healthy family system this filial crisis of Holiday rituals can be overcome and the adult children  with the brief  help of an aging life or  geriatric care manager so they can let go of their former dependent roles and confront their parent’s loss by organizing and providing care. They can take over Christmas and Hanukkah by stepping in and grabbing that torch.

In the dysfunctional aging family this filial crisis is incredibly hard to trounce from both the parents and the adult child’s point of view. The really need a geriatric care manager’s services

 

 

 

 

 

Find out more in my book Care Manager’s Working With the Aging Family

 

 

Filed Under: Aging, Blog, Families, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager Tagged With: aging life care manager, care manager, case manager, Executive Skills, Filial Maturity, geriatric care manager, holiday with aging parents, IADL, nurse care manager, The Crown, The King's Speech

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