Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

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Warning Sign #2 You are Working With an Aging Dysfunctional Family

January 18, 2021

Dysfunctional Families and Anger – physical anger, emotional abuse, financial abuse

Fiscal and emotional abuse are the red blinking second signs of the dysfunctional aging family. Anger occurs normally in all families. However, in dysfunctional families, anger may take the form of repeated physical or

emotional abuse. This happens not only in one generation but passed on to the next and perhaps all subsequent generations. Adult children are often getting even with their aging parents for being neglectful, perhaps physically abusive parents when these angry adult children were kids.

Fiscal abuse is a ” sleeper” form of abuse,  yet a pernicious aging family problem. Adult children committed a whopping 40% of the abuse. Other family members were the next big thief’s investigated. The coming holidays create jaw-clenching stress on adult children who visit and finally see their parents decline. This means they need to care for them, which they have no idea how to do. Part of that comes from- they were never cared for as kids themselves. The holidays can be saved for a dysfunctional family, by care managers. Care managers can help them avoid abuse and support them to get the care they need for their aging parents who neglected them as children. 

Financial Advisors Can be Thieves Too

President Obama’s administration attempted to protect investors, who are often people trying to plan their retirement. The so-called fiduciary rule would have required financial advisers working with retirement accounts to put the interests of their clients ahead of their own—

The Trump administration, aiding and abetting in this theft, “blocked this rule and continues to block many retiring and aging client interests – putting them second and financial advisors interest (or ) profit first. This rule was supposed to go into effect on January 1, 2018, but was blocked again by the Trump Administration.

The securities industry received an early Christmas present from Trump’s outgoing Administration when the White House hastily cleared the way for the Department of Labor to lower the standard of care of investment advice fiduciaries, and this represents a dramatic and unprecedented reversal of the intent of Congress in enacting ERISA. The Public Investors Advocate Bar Association stated that “Workers and retirees deserve far better. They deserve to have their retirement savings protected, and they should be able to rely on those they have gone to for investment advice.”

Sign Up for My Free January Webinar  

5 Vital Clinical Tools to Help Aging Dysfunctional Families-Post Horrid Holidays- 

             Thursday, January 21, 2021

  Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday  

 Join me and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stocking.      

Learn how to!

  • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
  • Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family
  • Master Vital Clinical Tools, you to solve client problems
  • Take Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families
  • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

 SIGN UP NOW

 

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

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Find out more in my YouTube channel Geriatric Care 1

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: adult child physical abuse, Adult children, adult emotional abuse, Aging, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging therapist, care manager, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, elder abuse, elder care manager, elder fiscal abuse, fiscal abuse, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Long Distance Care, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving Parent crisis, Therapist Specializing in Aging Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging family Christmas, aging family crisis, aging family Hanakkah, aging family Thanksgiving, aging life and geraitric care manager, Aging Life Care Association, elder, elder abuse by family members, elder fiscal abuse, therapists aging families

Ten Warning Signs of Aging Dysfunctional Family- Warning Sign Number Two

October 30, 2019

Dysfunctional FamiliesAnger-physical anger, emotional abuse, financial abuse

Fiscal and emotional abuse is the red blinking second sign of the dysfunctional aging family. Anger occurs normally in all families. However, in dysfunctional families, anger may take the form of repeated physical or

emotional abuse. This happens not only in one generation but passed on to next and perhaps all subsequent generations. Adult children are often getting even with their aging parents for being neglectful, perhaps physically abusive parents when these angry adult children were kids.

Fiscal abuse is a ” sleeper” form of abuse,  yet a pernicious aging family problem. Adult children committed a whopping 40% of the abuse. Other family members were the next big thief’s investigated. The coming holidays create jaw-clenching stress on adult children who visit and finally see their parents decline. This means they need to care for them, which they have no idea how to do. Part of that comes from- they were never cared for as kids themselves. The holidays can be saved for a dysfunctional family, by care managers. Care managers can help them avoid abuse and support them to get the care they need for their aging parents who neglected them as children. 

Financial Advisors Can be Thieves Too

The so-called fiduciary rule,  which was scheduled to go into effect in April, would have required financial advisers working with retirement accounts to put the interests of their clients ahead of their own—

Brokers are currently allowed to follow a less-stringent “suitability” standard, which lets them recommend options that cost seniors more—and pay them more—even if a cheaper or more appropriate choice is available.

The Trump administration “blocked this rule and continues to block many retiring and aging client interests – putting them second and financial advisors interest (or ) profit first. This rule was supposed to go into effect January first, 2018 but was blocked again until 2019″. Formerly representing the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, Eugene Scalia played a major role in convincing an appeals court judicial panel to vacate the Obama Labor Department’s fiduciary rule. He is now  Secretary of Labor and the DOL is working on a replacement rule to be unveiled by the end of the year.

 

 Check out my latest webinar about working with  dysfunctional aging families over the holidays

Sign Up for My Newest Free Webinar 

5 Ways to Tame the Turbulence of Holiday Meltdown in Aging Families

 

THIS FREE WEBINAR IS ON NOVEMBER 21 FROM 2 PM-3 PM 

 Learn how!

  • How to work with both dysfunctional and long-distance families who call during the holidays
  • How to give hope to frantic children who call, after seeing their aging parent struggling with the rituals
  • How to sell services to desperate adult child callers   
  • How to use GCM tools to contain Holiday chaos
  • How to use financial forecasting to prepare for growth during the holidays
  • Sidestep the Many Care Managers Who Do not know how to work with Dysfunctional Aging Families and get the client
  • SIGN UP NOW

 

 

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Find out more in my YouTube channel Geriatric Care 1

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: adult child physical abuse, Adult children, adult emotional abuse, Aging, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging therapist, care manager, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, elder abuse, elder care manager, elder fiscal abuse, fiscal abuse, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Long Distance Care, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving Parent crisis, Therapist Specializing in Aging Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging family Christmas, aging family crisis, aging family Hanakkah, aging family Thanksgiving, aging life and geraitric care manager, Aging Life Care Association, elder, elder abuse by family members, elder fiscal abuse, therapists aging families

How Fairy Tale Lives of Aging Rich and Famous Become Elder Abuse Nightmares

June 4, 2016

This week a New York Times article  , on 93-year-old billionaire media mogul, Sumner Redstone ,offered a lesson on how to avoid financial elder abuse .  Redstone may be his own worst enemy, according to the story, setting up a trust that invited ” sweetheart scams” and undue influence, by a cast of  accused younger lovers, his daughter and top aides. 

An elder law attorney interviewed in the piece, warns that this legal threat is growing all over the world as the populations ages. The rich and famous, like Redstone, Harper Lee , 104-year-old heiress Mrs. Astor , and the bizarre centenarian, Hugette Clark, who made her home in a famous New York Hospital for 20 years and then left her fortune to a nurse and the the hospital foundation – all became fodder scandal media. But each was alleged or proven elderly scams that opened up front page law suits involving uber rich entitled and confused elderly. This brings attention to a huge problem that professionals in aging and care managers see on an increasing basis.

 

 

Filed Under: Aging Tagged With: care manager, elder abuse, elder abuse by family members, geraitric care manager, Undue Influence

What Are the Red Flags For Caregiver Elder Abuse?

March 1, 2015

channel_caregiver_burnout.jpg

 

 

If caregiver abuse is suspected, a caregiver assessment is a critical immediate tool. This is a situation where the GCM must contact Adult Protective Services, following their own state’s laws. In most states you are a mandated reporter .Elder abuse can be triggered by caregiver stress and depression in some situations. Depression that reaches a clinical level in a caregiver can be predictive of elder abuse.

 


What are red flags for caregiver abuse that should be picked up in a psychosocial assessment  in the beginning of the case and should trigger a caregiver assessment immediately?

 

The caregiver:

 

 

 

ØFears that he/she will become violent

 

 

 

ØSuffers from low self esteem

 

 

 

ØPerceives that she is not receiving

 

Adequate help or support from others

 

 

 

ØViews care giving as a burden

 

 

 

ØExperiences emotional and mental burnout

Depression or anxiety

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ØFeels “caught in the middle” by

 

providing care to children and elderly

 

Family members at the same time

 

 

 

ØHas “old anger” toward the care

 

 receiver that can be traced back to

 

 their relationship in the past

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed Under: Aging Tagged With: caregiver assessment, caregiver burnout, elder abuse, elder abuse by family members, physical elder abuse

Financial Abuse as an IADL -Undue Infuence

January 27, 2013

PDF-Cover-of-11-10-12My-Geriatric-Care-Management-Agency.jpg

What is undue influence?

Undue influence is when an individual who is stronger or more powerful gets a weaker individual to do something that the weaker person would not have done otherwise.

What is undue influence? A stronger person uses various techniques or manipulations over time to gain power and compliance.

Undue influence can be wielded in one-time events. An example would be a discussion of transaction at an unusual or inappropriate time for example with a widow with recent bereavement someone says” let’s you sign your stock over to me”. There might be a consummation of a transaction in an unusual place like a funeral home. A person applying undue influence might insist or demand that business be finished at once. Multiple persuaders against a single vulnerable person might use undue influence. It might occur when there is an absence of third party advisors, Undue influence can occur when a perpetrator states that there is no time to consult financial advisor’s or attorneys

Undue influence can be used by totalitarian groups, both religious and non religious. An example of this is the mass death at Jonestown

It can be put forth by, especially, existing or cultivated, close and personal relationships. It can be used in fiduciary relationship like an executor, attorney, or accountant

It can be brought to bear in a non –fiduciary relationship like, clergy, housekeeper, gardener, and physician.

The number one villain in undue influence is family , the group most trusted by elders

There is a common denominator of financial exploitation of elders

Undue influence is most common on trusting relationships of long duration (nephew moves in the help elderly aunt and then takes over stock and changes will)

It many times is perpetrated by cultivated by people who are opportunistic

Undue influence can be exerted by someone Isolates the elder, promote dependency, or induce fear and distrust of others. This after happens with sweetheart scams – where a younger woman marries a much older man wealthier who she takes financial advantage of.

What should a GCM or aging professional do? First meet the client alone.

Few admit because afraid of caregiver abandonment or further abuse

If you work for an agency you should meet supervisor and report the abuse

Finally you should call as you are Call Adult Protective Services– In most states you are a Mandatory Reporter

Filed Under: Aging Tagged With: case manager, checklist for aging parent problems, conservator, crisis with aging parents, elder abuse, elder abuse by family members, elder abuse fiscal assessment, elder law attorney, financial abuse, Financial Planner, Forgiveness, Functional Assessment, GCM Operations Manual, geraitric assessment, Geriatric Assessment, guardianship, IADL financial abuse, IADLs, Instrumental Activities of Daily Living, Mickey Rooney, My Geraitric Care Management Operations Manual, National Assocaition of Geraitric Care Managers, Psychsocial Assessment

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