The Dutiful Daughter Syndrome
A caregiver assessment can reveal the problems of the dutiful daughter syndrome of who daughters take on all the care because in her family ” that was just her fate” . When the caregiver assessment reveals overload, depression, and or burn-out or a caregiver is thinking of placing an elderly parent inappropriately , then the GCM should come to the rescue with alternatives
GCM Coaching Skills Needed
One other choice can be the GCM using coaching skills to help the main caregiver ask adult brothers and sisters for help. Often the communication between brothers and sisters involving parent care is very poor and weak. Sisters especially need help in asking assistance from brothers, and all need help in asking for assistance from estranged siblings. After the help is requested, coaching siblings to say, “Thank you, and I love you,” and then to set up the new caregiving system, which is an expanded circle of care, is a primary GCM job.
Coaching Sharing the Care Between a Family
The issue of how the family can fairly share the caregiving with the primary family caregiver may be a key issue that can be discussed after a caregiver assessment. To offer the main caregiver respite, periodically one family member could take the care receiver for a weekend. Another may foot the bill for formal paid caregiving rather than do direct care; one may handle all bill paying using an online bill-paying account and have the care receiver’s mail forwarded to them.
One family member could manage a social media group, like a Facebook page, or organize a chat room dedicated to the older adult where friends can communicate with the person. One family member could set up a caregivers’ sharing site such as through Lotsa Helping Hands . One may do a family newsletter summarizing the caregiving month. A family member or friend who is tech savvy could set up all caregiving websites, calendars, emails, and videoconferencing needed by the family. One family member could manage ongoing house repairs for the care receiver. The idea is to be creative, meet the care receiver’s needs, and divide tasks up so that long-distance and local family members can share the tasks according to their abilities, skills, time available, location, and preferences. This is called striking a balance in the family.
Watch Ms Handy Almost Going Over The Edge
Watch my YOU TUBE channel to how GCM coaches Ms, Handy , after a caregiver assessment , when she requested help as an overwrought family caregiver who is is going to place her Dad because she cannot ask for help.