Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

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Ten Warning Signs That You Are Working With in a Dysfunctional Family

January 16, 2021

Warning Signs of Aging Dysfunctional Family – Contentiouness, Anger, and Cut Off

Do you know the 10  clinical manifestations that you are working with the dysfunctional family, the most challenging job of an aging professional. What you have to know is family system theory and be clinically skilled in entering this treacherous family system – to get care for an older person

1. Contentiousness – Old fights erupt; the siblings and parent get into arguments with one another about an old issue

2. Anger – Siblings and family members express physical anger, emotional abuse, financial abuse

 

 

3. Distancing & cut off – Some siblings or parents have nothing to do with family and may not speak to parents or siblings for long periods of time.

Warning Signs of Aging Dysfunctional Family – Fusion, Denial, Triangulation, Entitlement

4. Fusion – Siblings and family members, such as the mother and eldest daughter, blend into one another, For example, the daughter’s sounds, acts, and has the same prejudices as the mother. . Think of the media’s portrayal of Lindsay Lohan and her mother.

5. Denial – Adult siblings do not see a decline in a parent, do not face reality, and do not take care of the parent if he or she needs care.

6. Triangulation – Tension between two family members or siblings causes one to enlist a third family member or sibling to avoid change For example, two adult sibling object to the cost of care of an aging parent. They gang up on the third adult sibling who thinks the cost of care is reasonable and justified.

7. Sense of Entitlement – Siblings who are accustomed to purchasing services they need not personally solving their own, children’s sibling or parents’ problems. This lack of engagement leaves them, unprepared and unwilling in getting involved in solving family tribulations.

Warning Signs of Aging Dysfunctional Family – Narcissism, Needy Adult Siblings, Substance Abuse and Cut Off

8. Narcissism – One or more siblings has an “it’s all about me” attitude and

other siblings resent this. The self-absorbed sibling either does not participate

9. Needy Adult Siblings – These adult siblings feel starved for affection and often seek affection from professionals and other people in their lives for compensation for the care they didn’t receive as children.

10 . Substance and Other Abuse – The family and siblings have a history of drug, alcohol, and/or child abuse.

If this fits you you and your aging parent needs care may need to contact a geriatric care manager.

Sign Up for My Free January Webinar  

5 Vital Clinical Tools to Help Aging Dysfunctional Families-Post Horrid Holidays- 

             Thursday, January 21, 2021

F

  Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday  

 Join me and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stocking.      

Learn how to!

  • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
  • Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family
  • Master Vital Clinical Tools you to solve client problems
  • Take Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families
  • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

 SIGN UP NOW

 Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

 

Filed Under: abusive aging parents, adult child physical abuse, Adult children, aging family crisis, aging family system, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, Aging therapist, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family Inquiry, Dysfunctional Family System, elder abuse, elder care manager, elder fiscal abuse, elder mediator, entitled family, estranged siblings, FREE WEBINAR, GCM COACHING SKILLS, geriatric care manager, geriatric care manager start up, midlife siblings, Siblings Tagged With: adult children of borderline narcissistic VIP families, aging family, blaming familiy members, boundaries dysfunctional families, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional Holiday, cut -off, cut-off sibling, dysfunctional aging family, geriatric care manager, help with dysfunctional family, midlife siblings, Narcissistic Personality, sibling, Substance abuse in the elderly

Sign Up for My Free January Webinar on Dysfunctional Aging Family

January 14, 2021

5 Vital Clinical Tools to Help Aging Dysfunctional Families-Post Horrid Holidays- 

  Thursday, January 21, 2021

              2:00 3:20 Pacific Standard Time

  Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday

 Join me and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found only coal in their stocking.

Learn how to!

  • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
  • Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family 
  • Master Vital Clinical Tools, you to solve client problems
  • Take Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families
  • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

 SIGN UP NOW

Filed Under: abusive aging parents, adult child physical abuse, Adult children, adult emotional abuse, Aging, Aging Alcohol Abuse, Aging Family, aging family and COVID, aging family crisis, aging family system, aging life business, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging Mother, Aging therapist, Blog, Borderline narcissistic family, Caregiver Burn Out, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional families, Concierge aging clients, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Dysfunctional Family System, elder mediator, Families, Filial Crisis, GCM Webinar, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric care manager, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, Move Management, narcissistic client, Narcissistic Personality, nurse care manager, POST HOLIDAY SEASON, Post holidays aging dysfunctional family, Sibling Strife Christmas, Sibling Strife Holidays, Siblings, Stepmonster, Symptoms Dysfunctional Family, Webinar, Webinar ALCA GCM Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging life care manager, aging parent care, aging parent crisis, boundaries dysfunctional families, care manager, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional Holiday, dysfunctional family roles, geriatric care manager, help with dysfunctional family, nurse care manager, Tools with Dysfunctional families

10. Ways to Spot Dysfunctional Family Calls After Thanksgiving

November 8, 2015

Dys-fam90264_CH22_FIG02.jpg

How to IDENTIFY THE DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY WHEN THEY CALL YOU  After Thanksgiving

1.They are overly sensitive to criticism and disappointment. The difficult family feels easily criticized by the Aging Life or Geriatric Care Manager and may become defensive regarding the GCM’s recommendations.

2.They  become easily disappointed in the aging life or geriatric care manager if your suggestions do not have an immediate positive impact on the situation.

3.They may have intense emotional reactions. Different members of the difficult family may have intense reactions to the GCM’s suggestions and to other members of the family.

4.Family members will often disagree with each other about the extent of the older adult’s problems.

5..Families accept little responsibility for their actions and tend to blame others when things go wrong.

6.They tend to blame the GCM or other institutions when the older adult’s situation deteriorates or when the older adult resists a plan.

7.These families easily find fault with services or staff, and they become critical or angry without trying to discuss, understand, or resolve the perceived problem.

8.Have unrealistic expectations of their older relative. Difficult families often feel that the older adult can do more than what they seem capable of doing, either physically or cognitively.

9. have little patience or understanding for the resistance that older adults commonly show to accepting services.

10.May deny the existence of cognitive problems or disagree over how to handle behavioral issues, all signs of their own unresolved earlier issues.

 

Filed Under: Aging Tagged With: aging life and geriatric care management, boundaries dysfunctional families, dysfunctional aging family, holiday with aging parents, Thanksgiving with aging parents

5 Boundaries Care Manager Must Build to Work with Dysfunctional Family

October 4, 2015

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 Boundaries are tested between profes­sional and client when the care manager works with the dysfunctional family. Signs that you are losing appropriate boundaries

 1. Overidentification: Although it is profession­ally necessary to understand and empathize with the emotional realities of the family or the client, it is not appropriate for the care manager to routinely share details of one’s own emotional story or personal history.

2. Overconsolation:

The family should not expect or be expected to erase the difficulties they face. The care manager can alleviate but not eliminate the difficult family burdens.

 3. Overindulgence: care managers cannot always please the client. The care manager needs to be honest and direct, and sometimes the care manager may have a recommendation that the family may not be prepared to hear.

4. Overinvestment in strategy: It is easy to put too much weight on one strategy. The care plan is a dynamic intervention that must evolve as family circumstances change. The care manager should always remain flexible and resist the temptation to adhere to a favored, original strategy.

5. Overinvestment of time: Care managers may want to make themselves available on a 24-hour basis for client crises. However, it is important to carve out personal time so that the care manager does not blend personal and work lives. 

Read the new chapter on care managers working with the dysfunctional aging family. Get the new Handbook of Geriatric Care Management 4th edition  now– or out in Kindle on Amazon in November (to keep up with technology)

Filed Under: Aging Tagged With: boundaries dysfunctional families, Clincal Skills of Geriatric Care manager, dysfunctional aging family, geriatric care manager

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