Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

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10 Do’s &Don’ts Doing the Dysfunctional Family Calls Post Holidays

September 5, 2023

 

Most Calls for Care Managers Post Holidays

More than half of the aging families who call you inquiring about services will be dysfunctional families post-holidays. The great majority of calls will come from adult children. If you want to make the sale during the inquiry you have to know how to handle these dysfunctional family members on the phone and give them enough trust in you to sign your contract and give you a deposit for your services.

FIND OUT MORE 

How Do You Get Them To Trust You Enough to Sign Contract with Dysfunctional family Post holidays?

  1. Do Be Objective
  2. Do Use Active Listening
  3. Do Give them Hope you can solve their family problem
  4. Do a two-part inquiry and have the problem defined in the first part done by a skilled administrative Assistant
  5. Do study the problem before you do the second call and have exactly how you would solve the problem ready in a planned elevator speech
  6. Do a complimentary 30-minute consultation
  7. Do not give away the store but outline how you are an expert at solving the problems (moving, keeping at home, Alzheimer’s wandering and a bare outline of your solution
  8. Do not criticize dysfunctional family post-holidays
  9. Do not blame,
  10. Do not take sides if several family members points of view and express them

 

Sign Up for My Free January Webinar  

11 Vital Clinical Tools For Desperate Families Post-Holidays

             Thursday, Jan 6, 2022, 02:00 PM Pacific Time (US and Canada)

 

 

  Give frantic adult children hope using vital clinical tools when they desperately call after the holiday Join me Post-holiday and learn how to come to clinically rescue concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stocking.      

Learn how to!

  • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
  • Master 11 Vital Clinical Tools you to solve client problems
  • Take Six Clinical Steps Professional Must Take to Work with these Dysfunctional family post-holidays 
  • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

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 Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: adult child calls post holidays, Adult Child Caregiver Pain, Adult Child Pain, adult child pain-point, adult child physical abuse, Adult children, Adulyt Child Call Post holidays, Aging, aging family crisis, Aging family pain, aging life business, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Alarm Bells For Long Distance Family, ALCA Dysfunctional Family Help, Black, Black Aging Family, Black Entrepreneur, Black Entrepreneur RB, Black Entrepreneur RN, Black entrepreneurs, Black Geriatric Care Manager, Black geriatric care managers, Black RN, Black Travel Nurses, Blog, Care Management Inquiry Call, Caregiver Stress, Caregivers collapsing, Cash Clow, Concierge aging clients, Concierge Senior, Contract signed, Dysfunctional Aging Familu, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Dysfunctional Family Inquiry, Families, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, inquiry, inquiry call, Intake COVID-19, Make the Sale, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Sign Up Dysfunctional Aging Family, Sign Up GCM Client, Sysfuntional Family post holidays Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging life care manager, aging life inquiry, aging life or GCM inquiry, Black, black american geriatric care managers, black american social workers, Black caregivers, Black Entrepreneurs, Black geriatric care managers, Black Nurse Entrepreneurs, Black RN's, Black start-up geriatric care management, care manager, case manager, Clinical Tool dysfunctional family, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional Holiday, dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Concierge Family, Dysfunctional family post holidays, dysfunctional family roles, Dysfunctional VIP Family, geriatric care manager, help with dysfunctional family, Holiday Inquiry call, nurse care manager, Tools with Dysfunctional families, Working With Dysfunctional family

Dysfunctional Aging Family Adult Children Who Call You Where You Need Clinical Skills

August 22, 2023

3 Types of Dysfunctional Aging Family Children Calls

Where You Need Clinical Skills

# 1 Inquiry from a Narcissistic Adult Children

in  Aging Dysfunctional Family

Dysfunctional adult children who inquire about your services can be a tough sell. First, let’s- consider The narcissistic adult child from an aging dysfunctional family who calls for help and has an “it’s all about me” attitude. The aging parent and or a midlife sibling could be narcissists. With aging parents, all siblings may have resented this self-absorption of their family their entire lives and have a love/hate relationship with older parents. Siblings, the other brothers, and sisters resent this, especially with parent care.  The self-absorbed sibling either does not participate in solving sibling or aging family troubles but just makes them worse. They call after a disastrous holiday event like the coming  Labor Day family gathering and you need clinical skills to work with them

#2 Inquiry from Devalued Child Entitled but Servile Adult.

 

Dysfunctional adult children who call you about your services can include devalued adult children from the aging dysfunctional family calls you, you need clinical skills to work with them. 

As a kid, the adult child of a narcissistic parent was devalued in the parent’s eyes so that the now aging parent can feel superior and powerful in the world. These children mature into adults who are emotionally impoverished, inflexible, and needy.

As a geriatric care manager, the adult child presents as entitled. As clients, these adult children fear that unless they make inflexible demands, they will receive nothing. “ Get my mother into a concierge wing of a hospital by tomorrow”

An adult child of a narcissistic aging parent will present as nasty, aggressive, and devaluing of the service provider. Or they could be essentially insatiable and easily injured by the helping professional. The adult children of narcissistic entitled families are also often angry and frustrated at having to give care to a parent or parents whom they experienced as ungiving, demanding, intrusive, overpowering, and needy. They are members of an ultra-dysfunctional aging family. They call after a visit to aging parents and you need clinical skills to work with them 

# 3-Inquiry from Needy Adult Children in the Dysfunctional Aging Family

 The adult child who calls may be the needy adult child. Baby boomers must evolve beyond the needy child he or she has been, depending on aging parents’ fiscal,

emotional, and social support, to the adult who supports his parent. Adult Children of aging parents in the 21st century not only confront the delay of their own needs when their parent’s aging and reliance call them but confront their own future and very much more immediate loss of the central figure in their lives, their own parents.

Some don’t- especially in the dysfunctional aging family.

These adults feel starved for parental affection they never received and often seek affection from professionals and other people in their lives to compensate for the care they didn’t receive as children. They call after the holiday and you need clinical skills to work with them. 

These 3  types of adult children have clinical difficulties that are coping and defense mechanisms allowing them to adapt to a dysfunctional family. The care manager must enter the family system clinically to address the needs symptoms and defenses of the adult children to get care for the elder.

SIGN UP FOR MY FREE SEPTEMBER WEBINAR

Taming HBO Succession

11 Vital Clinical Tools For Dysfunctional Families

 

             Thursday, September 19

02:00 PM Pacific Time (US and Canada)

Find Out More 

  Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call this summer after they see their failing parent.  

 Join me and learn to clinically rescue concierge dysfunctional families made a summer visit to floundering Mom or Dad.      

SIGN UP FOR THIS WEBINAR  

Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family

Master 10 Clinical Tools Professionals Must Learn Before They Work with These Difficult Families
Learn how to solve dysfunctional family problems after you master these tools
Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist
Learn how to work with characters like Rupert Murdock & Logan Roy

Sign Up Now

 

 

 

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

t

 

 

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

Filed Under: Adult Child Pain, adult child pain-point, Adult Child Stress, Adult children, Aging, aging family crisis, aging family system, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging therapist, black care manager, black concieirge nurse, black concierge care manager, black concierge RN, Black Entrepreneur, Black entrepreneurs, Black Geriatric Care Manager, Black geriatric care managers, black travel nurse, Black Travel Nurses, Black Travel RN, Blog, borderline-narcissistic families, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional family, Concierge aging clients, Concierge caregivers, Devalued adult child, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family Inquiry, Dysfunctional Family System, elder fiscal abuse, Entited Family, Families, FREE WEBINAR, GCM Clinical Tools, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Narcissistic adult child, Needy Adult Child, nurse advocate, nurse care manager Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging family, aging life care manager, black american geriatric care managers, Black Entrepreneurs, Black geriatric care managers, Black Nurse Entrepreneurs, care manager, Clinical Tool dysfunctional family, Clinical Tools for Aging Family, Devalued Adult Child, dysfunctional, Entitled Adult Children, Entitled aging client, Entitled Family, free webinar, geriatric care managers, Ivanka Trump, Needy Adult Child, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, parent care crisis, Tools with Dysfunctional families

Ten Warning Signs You Are Working With a Dysfunctional Family

August 8, 2023

Working with Dysfunctional Family

Ten Warning Signs you are Working with Dysfunctional Family represents critical information to share with long-distance caregivers before their holiday visit. Do you know them? They include contentiousness, anger, and cut off and all are listed below. These clinical issues give the visiting caregiver signs that they need to call a care manager and you the care manager the most challenging job of an aging professional. What you have to know is family system theory and be clinically skilled in entering this treacherous family system – to get care for an older person

1. Contentiousness – Old fights erupt; the siblings and parents get into arguments with one another about an old issue

2. Anger – Siblings and family members express physical anger, emotional abuse, financial abuse

3. Distancing & cut off – Some siblings or parents have nothing to do with family and may not speak to parents or siblings for long periods of time.

Ten Warning Signs You are Working with the  Dysfunctional Family – Fusion, Denial, Triangulation, Entitlement

4. Fusion – Siblings and family members, such as the mother and eldest daughter, blend into one another, For example, the daughter sounds, acts, and has the same prejudices as the mother. . Think of the media’s portrayal of Lindsay Lohan and her mother.

5. Denial – Adult siblings do not see a decline in a parent, do not face reality, and do not take care of parent if he or she needs care.                           

6. Triangulation – Tension between two family members or siblings causes one to enlist a third family member or sibling to avoid change For example, two adult sibling object to the cost of care of an aging parent. They gang up on the third adult sibling who thinks the cost of care is reasonable and justified.

7. Sense of Entitlement – Siblings who are accustomed to purchasing services need not personally solve their own, children’s siblings or parents’ problems. This lack of engagement leaves them, unprepared and unwilling in getting involved in solving family tribulations.

Ten Warning Signs You Are Working with a Dysfunctional Family – Narcissism, Needy Adult Siblings, Substance Abuse, and Cut Off

8. Narcissism – One or more siblings has an “it’s all about me” attitude and

other siblings resent this. The self-absorbed sibling either does not participate

9. Needy Adult Siblings – These adult siblings feel starved for affection and often seek affection from professionals and other people in their lives for compensation for the care they didn’t receive as children.

10 . Substance and Other Abuse – The family and siblings have a history of drug, alcohol, and/or child abuse.

If this fits you you and your aging parent needs care may need to contact a geriatric care manager.

SIGN UP FOR MY HOLIDAY WEBINAR –

 

Get Ready for the Holiday Rush

Get Ready for the Holiday Rush

WEDNESDAY, November 16th, 2022, FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST

 Learn how to create!

  • Pre-Holiday Social media campaigns to reach worried caregivers
  • Pre- Holiday-Materials about the warning signs that a parent needs help
  • Pre-Holiday Marketing to help you sign up families who might face a serious decline in aging parents
  • How to sell services to desperate post-holiday callers from Normal dysfunctional & long-distance family
  • How to use tools to contain holiday chaos & arrange care in festive family fright
  • How to move the family to New Year’s stability
  • Know The Ten Warning Signs you are working with a dysfunctional family and position Your Agency ahead of Care Managers who do not have great pre-holiday marketing campaigns and lack the clinical skills how to work with Adult Children and families during the chaotic aging family holiday visit when adult kids find their aging parents need care
  • Featuring

 Cathy Cress MSW author of the Handbook of Geriatric Care

Management     

Find Out More 

 

 

 

  • Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

 

Filed Under: abusive aging parents, adult child physical abuse, Adult children, aging family crisis, aging family system, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, Aging therapist, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family Inquiry, Dysfunctional Family System, elder abuse, elder care manager, elder fiscal abuse, elder mediator, entitled family, estranged siblings, FREE WEBINAR, GCM COACHING SKILLS, geriatric care manager, geriatric care manager start up, midlife siblings, Siblings Tagged With: adult children of borderline narcissistic VIP families, aging family, black american geriatric care managers, black american social workers, Black Entrepreneurs, Black geriatric care managers, Black RN's, Black start-up geriatric care management, Black travel nurses, blaming familiy members, boundaries dysfunctional families, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional Holiday, cut -off, cut-off sibling, dysfunctional aging family, geriatric care manager, help with dysfunctional family, midlife siblings, Narcissistic Personality, sibling, Substance abuse in the elderly

Dysfunctional Families Facing Death Wreak Havoc at End of Life

August 3, 2023

What do Dysfunctional Families do at the End of Life?

 

Dysfunctional families facing death and dying have flawed fractured family conversations. Often they do not communicate at all or engage in destructive accusations lobbed at others. They see one another as enemies. They demonize one another!

Dysfunctional families facing death are feuding families, escalating the pain of death to a chaotic war room. They blame each other instead of locking arms in a crisis.

Dysfunctional families facing death sabotage resolution.

Facing Fractured Family Communication

What are some of the struggles that these aging dysfunctional families facing death with fractured family communication can face?

Aging parents who lack the capacity to make decisions have no advance directives, DPOA 

health-care proxy, and adult siblings, who must make end-of-life decisions, can’t agree

Withdrawal of life support with no designated health care agent then dysfunctional families facing death the adult children and/or spouse disagree

Pain management  Dysfunctiona families facing death adult children and/or spouses disagree.

Answer to Fractured Family at End of Life – Mediation.

Dysfunctional families facing death

 

Mediation is a tool that fractured families can be a good resource for dysfunctional families at the end of life. It can help with these difficult families facing the death of a parent without fracturing the entire family. It can allow an older person to die without pain inflicted by their own aging dysfunctional families.

SIGN UP FOR NEW FREE WEBINAR

Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders in aging dysfunctional families
Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family

Master 10 Clinical Tools Professionals Must learn before they work with These Difficult Families
Learn how to solve dysfunctional family problems like End of Life family chaos after you master these tools  for aging dysfunctional families
Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist
Learn how to work with characters like Rupert Murdock & Logan Roy

Sign Up Now

 Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

 

 

Filed Under: Advanced Directives, Advanced Directives and Covid-19, Aging, aging life care manager, Benefits of ALCA to Hospice, Death and Dying, Death and Dying Care Management, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family Mediation, End of Life, End of Life Care manager, End of life documents, estranged elder parents and adult kids, estranged siblings, Families, FREE WEBINAR, GCM COACHING SKILLS, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Good Death, Hospice Care, mediation, Mediation End of Life, nurse advocate, nurse care manager Tagged With: adult sibling, aging family, aging parent care, aging parent crisis, black american geriatric care managers, black american social workers, Black Entrepreneurs, Black geriatric care managers, Black Nurse Entrepreneurs, Black RN's, Black start-up geriatric care management, care planning, caregiver burnout, conservator, death, dysfunctional aging family, dysfunctional family, dysfunctional siblings, dysfuntional family, elder care crisis, end of life, end of life family meeting, estranged siblings, families fretting at end of life, free webinar, geraitric assessment, geriatric care management, geriatric care manager, geriatric care managers, mediation, mediator, My Geriatric Care Management Operations Manual, no advanced directive, no DPOA, no health care proxy, withdraw of life support

How Do the Benefits Not Features Get 3rd Parties To Refer To You ?

June 6, 2023

Benefits you bring to the 3rd party and their aging client.  

What makes 3rd Parties Refer to Geriatric Care Managers? The Benefits You Offer 3rd party and their aging client.  

Why would third parties like trust officers, elder law attorneys, conservators, or guardians refer a care manager to their aging client and family? If you have an Aging Life or GCM business you need to know.It is the benefits you bring to the 3rd party and their aging client.

Benefits you bring to the 3rd party and their aging client.

The Journal of Aging Life Care its March 2017 issue gives care managers some critical clues to solve this question.  The first benefit you offer is a practice that meets your client’s needs and major referral sources. Many clients- usually adult children, call you to start services independently. But a good majority of clients will call you because their attorney, bank trust officers, or CPA referred them. These third parties need to know what benefits you offer them and their clients if they are to make referrals to your agency. On the feeding chain of referrals, they are one of your most important sources to feed income for your business. You have to deliver what benefit you offer where they make money.

Great Research Results on What 3rd Parties Want in Benefit You Offer

The Florida Chapter of Aging Life invested in a 7-year research project to get some of these benefits you bring to the 3rd party, and their aging client answers about the best benefit you offer, published in the Aging Life Journal. in March 2017. This is the first research study on Aging Life Care that pinpoints what third parties who refer clients want and value in a care manager. It is groundbreaking.  

Reading this tells the care manager, not only what benefit you offer to include in your services but in your marketing material and sales pitch or elevator pitch to the third party. The study tells you what 3rd parties are looking for in a senior advocate for them. They found the number one reason third-party clients use care managers is they keep the client’s health care stable by assessing and monitoring their clients. So the important benefit to selling is keeping the client’s health care stable so the client is not calling the 3rd party.

The second benefit updating the third parties regularly. The benefit you bring to the 3rd party and their aging client is communication so the 3rd party always knows the client’s status. This can be through texts, email, phone calls, or a regular monthly report, which would also be done for the family. So use the key benefits of “constant updates “when you market to third parties, like wealth managers, elder law attorneys, guardians, assisted living, and doctors. Get a copy of this important Journal if you belong to ALCA or join, as this type of information is one of the many many benefits of the Aging Life Care Association by joining. 

SIGN UP FOR MY FREE WEBINAR  

Sell Benefits, not Features &Grow Your$ Bottom Line

 

 

Even if you cannot make the class, if you sign up, you will get a recording the next day

When: July 20 2023
2 PM-3:30 PM PST
                                                 Learn
 

A feature is a fact 

A benefit tells customers the advantages of those facts

 

 

 YOU WILL LEARN

How to create a winning sales pitch to a third party

The difference between selling features vs benefits

How to sell the benefits of your services for each 3rd party you  serve

What benefit you offer makes your sale to wealth managers, elder law attorneys, and concierge physicians to get referrals for new clients

The Benefits that make your sale to upscale Assisted Living, accountants, financial planners, Hospice

Step by Step on how to set up meetings with 3rd parties to make the sale

Even if you cannot attend, you will get the recording of the webinar the next day if you sign up

 

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Filed Under: Aging Family, aging life business, Aging Life Care, billing, Blog, care management start-up, cash flow, elder care manager, Elderlaw Attorney, GCM Start -Up, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, Guardian, inquiry call, Marketing aging life care, marketing care management, marketing to concierge clients, marketing to the top 10$, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Third Party Referral, Trust Officer, Wealth Management Departments Tagged With: aging family, Aging Life Care Association, aging life care manager, aging parent crisis, Benefits, benefits of ALCA, Benefits of Care Managers To Hospice, benefits to 3rd parties, Benefits to assisted Living, Benefits to Conservators, Benefits to elderlaw attornies, Benefits to Financial Planners, Benefits to Homecare, Benefits to Wealth Managers, Benefits vs Features, black american geriatric care managers, black american social workers, Black Entrepreneurs, Black geriatric care managers, Black Nurse Entrepreneurs, Black RN's, Black start-up geriatric care management, Black travel nurses, care manager, geriatric care management, marketing aging life or geriatric carre management, Marketing Benefits, Marketing Care Management, marketing tactics, marketing to 3rd parties, marketing to trust officers, nurse advocate, nurse care manager

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