Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

What Good Life to The Very End Can a Care Manager Bring ?

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Bringing Good Life to The Very  End

What Good Life to the very end can you bring -in the terminal phase of life -? Here is a wonderful example 

 Bill died at the home of his son after he had accepted that he was to die of liver failure and stopped all lifesaving treatment, like dialysis at the hospital and entering hospice. The decision was made that he would die at his son’s home with 24 care from his Care Management agency Livhome and his ongoing care manager Mary Brennan.

After his coming to terms with his death, Bill and his family, sons,  grandchildren, and great grandkids were able to say their goodbyes and offer the unconditional love that they had been fearful to express before his acceptance of death. A feeling of light & joy permeated his room, a family room overlooking the garden, where his hospital bed was set up. Great-grandchildren brought pictures and marveled at “grandpa grandpa “ high up in a hospital bed.

The  Good Life to The Very End -Joy of Hearing

His son put headphones with a mike on and William could hear and speak, as he had not in years.  It was like the wonderful film and concept  Alive Inside.  Hearing was a gift that gave him such joy in his last weeks of life.

The Good Life to the Very End- Let Family Just be Family

The family could just be family because they had care providers to care for bill. His 24-hour caregivers were gifted loving care providers from a GCM agency  Livhome. The 24-hour shifts included a nurse of 18 years from Central America and a man finishing his Ph.D. from the Congo. They cared for him with great warmth, so his family could just be family, relaxing in their love and surrounding him, as if in a circle, that swirled with 4 generations, going every which way while he watched, really loved, and melted into his last stage. His sons, grandchildren great grandchildren, and nephew ate meals, chitchatted, and welcomed each new family member coming in to see William, as he remained in the center in his hospital bed, the fulcrum of the gathering.

The Good Life to the End of a Great Care Manager620-amy-goyer-juggles-work-and-caregiving-mobile-technology.imgcache.rev1382542973676.web.jpg

The geriatric care manager, GCM Mary Brennan, from Livhome, a seasoned powerful and so kind LCSW, adjusted here and there, with care providers, and family needs. Bill’s needs followed the guidance of hospice, who were slowly increasing the pain meds, and supporting his health and medical care needs in death. The geriatric care management agency worked as a partner supplying 24 care and support for the family.

Bill was able to have again, a magical care provider from Livhome, who had been with him for almost two years and was so at the end.

You are only as strong as your weakest link- those are the care providers. These people were the raft that floated Bill up while the family, offered love and hospice provided medical and end-of-life support. Together they buoyed Bill into his last stage of dying, knowing that his family was the fabric of every step he took toward forward towards death. They gave him that good life till the very end.

If you want to add an End of Life service and other services, plus all the forms necessary, go to my website,  and check out GCM Manual 

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Serve Your Client until Death Do You Part
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Learn to guide the patient/family through the five stages of death. Understand how to help clients be active participants in their care. Give the family caregivers tools to manage care. Find out how to provide family-centered care to caregivers and families. Learn to choose the right support services for the client through all stages of death.
Introduce Hospice and Palliative care to the client earlier and work with their team.
Find out how to Use COVID -19 family coaching for GCM. Discover the role of Death Doula at end of life.

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10 Reminiscence Therapy Tools, Technology, and Techniques for New Year

 

Use Reminiscence therapy to capture family tales of aging parents or clients in the New Year

Do you use reminiscence therapy? Do you know how to use a reminiscence tool? Have you lost an aging parent and wished you had asked them more questions to reminisce about their past, your family history, and your childhood? Have you dabbled in ancestry and realized -too late- that you should have just listened closely to the stories your parents told you then written them down before they died?

Start Now! Use reminiscence therapy to make this New Year the year you collect the stories in your own family plus assist your aging clients by using 10 reminiscence therapy tools, technology, and techniques.

1. Use empathetic listening. This means to make all the messages you are are giving the older person— tone, how fast you speak, how they are sitting-  all saying, “I want to listen to them.”

2. Use empathetic listening then ask questions that prompt the story but don’t make judgments. If there are going to record the family tale, do it in a way that doesn’t distract or stop the older person from talking.

3. Start somewhere with a question then use empathetic listening. If the elder isn’t going to tell stories on his or her own, start the story and see if they will follow along.”What was a New Years Resolution that you made and kept” ” Do you remember your favorite doll ” What was your first day of school like”

4 . Music is just next to memory in the brain. So you want to use music as a reminiscence tool. This can be done through Alive Inside. So use Alexa, Spotify, to play  40’s 50’s  60’s music or especially when they were teens. Why? Sexual awakening when we are teens and the background music of that time deepens memory when they were teens  –when they were teens  NO Surprise. Simple ways to spark reminiscence when you visit older family members -bring their teenage music on your phone.

5. Use more reminiscence tools. Look at old photos together. Photos trigger memory even with dementia. Choose ones from a period of time the person currently remembers, which could be the person as a young adult, teenager, or even a young child.
6. Play music from their teenage years. That is a powerful reminiscence tool. It is the background to the most emotional period of anyone’s life and deeply lined into memory.
7. Another reminiscence tool is food. Serve food that is a family tradition or specialty, particularly ones that have an element of memory attached from family celebrations. like Mom’s Briscut, Dad’s Sunday Supper lasagna, or “Aunt Helen’s Lemon Cake”.

8. Story Worth was started by Nick Baum, a tecky who was, and in a way, a long-distance care provider for his parents in Sweden. He was curious about their past and invented the app based on his own need to gather his family history through reminiscence therapy in book form. My husband is a teller of past tales as a California Highway patrolman, then Hippiedom, then as top marketing director for Pacific Cookie Company, the best cookies here is the west.

Our daughter Kali gave him Story Worth as a holiday gift 2 years ago. In the first 12 months of the COVID, he recorded 40 stories or memories from his past. They were all published by Story Worth Book, saving in print the precious reminiscence that would have been lost but now saved in a  book that we gave to our adult children for them and generations to come.

This is a gold star reminiscence tool that gives you a brilliant way to capture reminiscence and I  recommend it to adult children who want to enshrine personal memories in print that otherwise would be lost when they reach back for them..

9. Life Bio-  a reminiscence tool,online template of biography and autobiography questions that have been carefully crafted

 

10. Quick Voice Recorder  a reminiscence tool to catch the memory on your phone

Reminiscence in aging is a part of a whole new domain in aging called quality of life or attending to the older person’s need for joy through activities that stimulate the mind. Reminiscence does that- so find out more about how you can increase the quality of life of older people after the holidays and all year long by building a quality of life reminiscence program like Lifespan’s Well Being program in Santa Cruz, Ca.

5 Tips and Technology for Getting Elders to Reminisce on The Holiday

Here are some more  tips to use if you want to help aging families capture  family stories during this holiday season—a perfect time to do this.

First of all technology to do this-  you or your kids already have it-we all carry it around with us all the time. Use your phone and Quick Voice Recorder and just capture the story. You can also use the photo app video that has the picture and sound if the older person feels comfortable.

1.Use empathetic listening . Of course you can’t make the kids do this, but make all the messages you are giving the older person—your tone, how fast you speak, how you are sitting—make them say, “I want to listen to you.”

2.Ask questions that prompt the story but don’t make judgments. If you are going to record the family tale, do it in a way that doesn’t distract or stop the older person from talking. Start somewhere. If your mom or aunt isn’t going to tell stories on their own, start the story and see if they will follow along. “That chair you are sitting in, where did you get it, Mom?” Pick an ornament off the Christmas tree and show it to your dad to see if he can tell you its story. Show him the family menorah you use and ask for the story of when his family used it on holidays.

3. Reminiscence is sparked by the senses, and buried memories flow into our brains. That’s why the holidays are a perfect time to have your older family members share stories with you. The sense of taste spurs memories. Just think of that stollen or fried donut that tasted a lot like your mom’s. On holidays we serve ritual foods, so the foods themselves served over and over can provoke memories in an older person’s mind. Smell brings back memories.

4 Smells bring back  memories .When my granddaughter Julia was 14 she was ace woodshop student. She said she smelled pine in the woodshop last week and it reminded her of the smell of Christmas. When we smell the same foods cooking that we knew in the past, when the whiff of holiday candles or a tree hits our nose, old memories are jarred loose.

5.Sound sets us to thinking, and our minds whirl back to places we have been with just the beginning of one song.I played Frank Sinatra for my late dad every morning when the care provider or I got him up and dressed. He recalled every word of every song and was transported back to a happier time, which threw him into the present a happier 87-year-old. On the holidays we play ritual songs that spur our memories.Watch Alive Inside and the magic of their simple  techniques

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