Why Do Adult Children Hate and Love Parents in Aging Dysfunctional Family?

January 11, 2021

The aging dysfunctional family takes an expert to tackle because violence can break out at any time. In the film version of Tracy Letts August in Osage County. Julia Roberts (the eldest daughter) attacks Meryl Streep (the pill-popping aging mother) at a ritual family gathering- the elder Dad’s funeral after he commits suicide.

In the dysfunctional family, there have been symptoms of problems such as alcohol abuse, drug abuse, child abuse, or emotional abuse, like the demeaning mother the character Meryl Streep plays in August in Osage County. These dysfunctions usually create barriers to nurturing and this affects everyone in the family system.

The family system is also marked by ambivalence and all adults and children live in a love-hate relationship with other family members. (Julia Roberts character and all the daughter both love and revile their mother ).

As systems resist change, it is even more difficult for members of the dysfunctional family to move to make changes when their parent needs care, like Meryl Streep does in August in Osage County. Julia Roberts and none of the daughters will care for their despised mother.

The nearly normal system is shaken to its core by the parent being dependent. However, a care manager can guide the family members into reorganizing their family roles when the parent can no longer act as head of the family, while acknowledging the shift and changes they need to make both emotionally and practically.

The members of the dysfunctional family who may have experienced a lack of nurturing by their parent and have no role model of caring. They are angry and resentful at caring for the parent, and thus will find it difficult to provide the practical and emotional care that their aging parent needs. The challenge to the adult child of the dysfunctional family is how to meet the dependency needs of the here and now old-old parent when the parent did not meet them dependency needs as a child. That is why they need a highly experienced Geriatric Care Manager who can work with dysfunctional aging families.

The challenge to the care manager is to bring the adult child of the dysfunctional family into the here and now and see their parents for who they are- an aging dependent person, flawed and imperfect, but a human being who needs their love, support and nurturing.

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How Do Geriatric Care Managers Give Quality of Life and Joy to LGBT Clients?

June 14, 2019

As June is LGTBQ Pride Month, let us celebrate it by being aware that Senior LGTBQ Elders are bullied, isolated, lonely just like LGTBQ younger people.

A recent report found that LGBT elders tend to have more medical problems, higher poverty levels social isolation than straight elders. Same-sex partners are not allowed many of the resources afforded to spouses and biological family members during the aging process. LGBT elders tend to lack support from many mainstream aging programs such as senior centers and places of worship or they are afraid of the stigma and discrimination that could result from joining those programs.

Mainstream retirement communities often deny LGBT elder couples the right to live in them. They often continue to live on their own, even if they need access to the services offered by those communities. These elders may fear discrimination and being ostracized by housing staff and often stay in the closet to obtain housing. Because large numbers of gay elders choose to live alone, they have fewer opportunities for social interaction than their heterosexual peers.

As a result, many LGBT elders live in the community and can really benefit from the quality of life activities that geriatric care managers can bring into the home through a personal assistance service and reminiscence therapy

One LGBT program in California created social connections by arranging dinner parties, shopping trips, and grocery shopping.

Escorting LGTBQ Elders to movies about gay elders or renting them through Netflix and watching with them is a great activity. There are terrific, even academy award winning film like Beginners, you can watch together and talk about, as activities.

But what about the quality of life for LGBT aging clients. This recent article in the New York Times shows how one retirement community responding and found joy for LGBT clients, where many LGTB aging clients have to fight for acceptance.

If aging life or geriatric care manager want to find resources for LGBT aging clients or more about their issues, The Journal of Aging Life Care has an article with many resources to help you serve these vulnerable clients in finding Joy and acceptance.

The Journal Of Aging Life has a resources list for a research tool for aging LGBT clients edited by Jennifer Crittenden

The Handbook of Geriatric Care Management 4^th edition has a seminal chapter written by geriatric care manager Nina Herndon with a quality of life assessment to help you pinpoint the quality of life needs of all clients.

Nina also has developed the first activity kit for the quality of life, Joyful Moments .
Care Managers can use this activity kits to develop quality of life activities with their clients and home care and care managers that have home care can utilize the kit to teach their careproviders to create quality of life activities that give seniors they serve Joy in addition to care ‘

My GCM Operations Manual includes a product Concierge Companion that offers geriatric care managers a quality of life service that provides quality of life activivies to seniors through rereactional therapy aides who follow a GCM Care plan to indivualize quality of life activities for elders at any stage of their aging including dementia.

How Do Geriatric Care Managers Give Quality of Life and Joy to Aging LGB and “T”ransgender Clients?

September 1, 2018

The lives of older transgender people are nearly absent from our culture . But Photographer Jess T. Dugan and social worker Vanessa Fabbre traveled throughout the United States creating To Survive on This Shore: Photographs and Interviews with Transgender and Gender Nonconforming Older Adults.

An article in the New York Times in the past week talks about the book and the void in not only the public’s mind about transgender elders but I might point out the aging community. It is time to pay attention. These older men and women rarely have families and retirement communities often present so much bias that these elders still live alone

Mainstream retirement communities often deny LGBT elder couples the right to live in them so they often continue to live on their own, even if they need access to the services offered by those communities. These elders may fear discrimination and being ostrasized by housing staff and and often stay in the closet to obtain housing. Because large numbers of gay elders choose to live alone, they have fewer opportunities for social interaction than their heterosexual peers.

As a result many live in the community and can really benefit from quality of life activities that geriatric care managers can bring into the home through a personal assistance service .

One LGBT program in California, created social connections through arranging dinner parties, shopping trips and grocery shopping .

Finding activities that help elders grow and nurture their emotional, intellectual, physical, and/or spiritual quality of life can help to nurture an older person’s whole life and bring back joy. But what about the quality of life for LGB or Transgender aging clients. This recent article in the New York Times shows how one retirement community responding and found joy for LGBT clients, where many LGTB aging clients have to fight for acceptance.

If aging life or geriatric care manager want to find resources for LGBT aging clients or more about their issues. An article in the Gerontologist has a resources list for research tool for aging LGBT clients.

Besides reading speaking to older LGTB groups in what a geriatric care manager can do to understand their needs and how your services can help. I will be speaking to my local local group in the Diversity Center of Santa Cruz County this fall , just to do that. Reach out to your LGTB community. It can grow your business and help elders who are often without support.

How Do Geriatric Care Managers Give Quality of Life and Joy to LGBT Clients?

August 6, 2017

BT aging LGBTy of life of residents living in residential care.

This showed, according to lead author ” the importance of providing a holistic, person-centered approach that goes beyond satisfying the technical and procedural aspects of care” Finding activities that help elders grow and nurture their emotional, intellectual, physical, and/or spiritual quality of life can help to nurture an older person’s whole life and bring back joy. For example, look at this you tube on an older woman who reconnected with art, which is her talent and spirituality and younger people plus her family, through a quality of life assessment.

The Journal Of Aging Life has a resources list for research tool for aging LGBT clients In the article below By Jennifer Crittenden

Aging, Relationships, & Sexuality: Tools and Resources for Geriatric Care Managers

Nina also has developed the first activity kit for the quality of life, Joyful Moments

Last Chance to Sign -Up for Webinar – Can You Start A Geriatric Care Management Business

May 8, 2017

Find out how to do an Aging Life or Geriatric Care Management Market study

A market study is about two C’s- customers and competition.
Do you have enough customers to start your business?
How much competition do you have?-is it so much that you can’t succeed in your market?

The aging life geriatric care management market is growing. Rising geriatric population base, the growing number of chronic diseases and increasing number of long-term care services drives the monumental growth of the geriatric care services market size over the next 50 years. By UN estimates, the elderly population is estimated over 800 million in 2012, projected to surpass 2,000 billion by 2050. That is the good news.
But do not be deceived. To start an aging life or geriatric care management business you have to look at your individual market to find out if you have that glowing opportunity is in your location. This means doing your own market sizing.

To start a Geriatric Care Management business PLUS to write a major section of your GCM business plan, you must describe the customers you intend to serve this is your market assessment or opportunity. It tells you and investors, if you can even find them and key whether you will have enough customers to make money. Start with a definition of your ideal client. Example: Woman, 85 years old with chronic care needs who has an income or liquid assets of $500,000 or more.

You want to list the customers who will reward you the most financially.

How many of these ideal clients are in the area you wish to serve? You need do an analysis of the age and income levels. Generally, geriatric care management customers are over age 85 or are disabled younger people with incomes in the range of the top 10% in your community. Your customers are also the local overstressed adult children of clients, long-distance caregivers with family members who need help and live in your community, and third parties who may hire you as a GCM such as trust officers, attorneys, conservators, or guardians.

You need to do market research to define the size of the market in the area where your business will be located (e.g., how many people over age 85 live in Modesto, California, how many third-party target markets such as trust departments are in the town?). This type of demographic information may be available from U.S. Census Bureau reports local Area Agencies on Aging, local chambers of commerce, local hospitals, and even members of the local media who have done their own surveys. You can use the Internet to retrieve U.S. Census data in your area, and in addition, you can Google your State Department of Aging, find your local Department of Aging, and then find all senior services that may have data on older people in your area.

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Learn how to do your market sizing and competition survey and learn whether you have enough customers in your area to succeed and make money in your startup care management business. Don’t Guess and fail.

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