When “Cut Off” in The Family is a ” Phantom Limb” at Thanksgiving

November 26, 2020

The Dysfunctional Family’s Worst Time of The Year

Thanksgiving can be the gateway to the dysfunctional family’s worst time of year- the holidays. You face family across the table you despise or just both love and hate. Or there is that empty seat- the uninvited guest- the brother-sister, aunt, son, daughter who you never invite- the cut off-family member.

Families Phantom Limb

But since this leaves the family with that “phantom limb”- like the awful sensation that an amputated or missing limb is still attached and where it was is pulsating in pain- families reach out for someone to fix it.

The ordinary aging processes are made far tougher when a family has a history of dysfunction. Aging professionals, like geriatric care managers, have their greatest challenges in working with these “difficult” families around this time of year.

Dysfunctional Families Fail Eldercare

Dysfunctional families are not able to organize themselves effectively in the face of eldercare challenges and crises. These families are under more stress as they move from long-established roles into uncharted territory.

Family” Cut” off faces Phantom Limb at Thanksgiving

What if they “ cut off” their Dad years ago and now he had a severe stroke-what do they do?? Someone has to take over Mom or Dad’s care and these dysfunctional midlife adult kids are heavy ambivalent or just don’t want to do it. Now that the holidays are arriving – they have the same attitude about attending the family Thanksgiving dinner.

My favorite aging dysfunctional family ” cut off ” Thanksgiving film is Pieces of April Made as a comedy in 2003, it touches death and dying, sibling rivalry, mother-daughter estrangement, interracial love- and Alzheimer’s all fueled by deep family fault lines and how to cook a turkey on a broken stove. The film manages to make the old theme of fraught family Thanksgiving, crisp, funny, and ultra worth watching.I ordered it from Netflix but you can watch on YOUTUBE

Shot in 3 weeks for a measly $350 K, it received a Sundance Film award and accolades for its pedigree cast including 21-year-old Katie Holmes as the grunge Goth daughter who her family has ” Cut Off”, Patricia Clarkson as the dying Mom who distains then forgives her rebellious eldest child and Alice Drummond as the demented grandmother who comes along and plays the most rational person in the film in her obliviousness to the family holiday freak-out.

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8 Ways to Tame the Turmoil of the Holidays & Twindemic in the Aging Family

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How to sell services to the desperate Aging Family during the holiday surge
How to give hope to frantic children who call when their aging parent struggling with Loneliness and isolation on the holidays
How to help the Aging Family make holiday visits remotely or safely in person
How to counsel the Aging Family to track aging decline &Twindemic risk in loved ones
How to work with both dysfunctional and long-distance families who call during the holidays
How to use GCM tools to contain Holiday chaos
How to use financial forecasting to prepare for business growth during the holidays

Sidestep the Many Care Managers Who Do not know how to work with Dysfunctional family or do COVID Coaching of Aging Families so the client chooses you

THIS FREE WEBINAR IS Thursday, December 3, 2020, FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST

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Are You Ready for Post Thanksgiving Inquiry Calls From Long Distance Care Providers

November 16, 2020

Long Distance family members are caregivers zapped out by stress

They have been flying or driving to both visit aging family members for a long time. These caregivers at a distance usually understand that their parents are deteriorating with age and are savvy enough that they have researched options and already found you on the web ( a reason to have a great website).

The Holidays Push Them Over The Edge

When the family gathers on Thanksgiving and everyone can see problems with an older person like memory loss or ambulation problems- the family may agree to call a care manager. Or the very stress of the holiday season on top of caring for

an aging parent long-distance may push the designated long-distance care providers over the edge to seek help.

Unpaid bills litter Dad’s desk. He refuses to go to church when he was a devoted churchgoer all his life. He’s drinking too much at the local pub. When the daughter puts the post-turkey leftovers in the refrigerator she finds moldy food on every shelf. When asked about the bills and the moldy food, Dad gets really angry at them when he was an easygoing guy all his life. They consider picking up the phone and screaming at 911

More than 7 million American Families care for older family members from afar. This holiday season many of those long-distance families will come home to an elder Mom or Dad’s house and find a scene they saw coming but still fill them with new white fear. They may have patched together care neighbor’s check-ins or other inconsistent coverage for parents. To their horror, they find, on returning home on holidays, the flood of parent problems blew out the patch, with coal dust spurting straight in their face

Call made to 911- You

At that point, the daughter may pull out her phone and call an aging life or geriatric care manager because she cannot fly home without getting help. Are you ready for these desperate calls?

Give frantic adult children hope when they frantically call this holiday.

So be prepared for their inquiry and know the needs of long-distance families well plus the resources in your area that you can suggest in your inquiry call. Do not give away the store in your call but let

them know that you are an expert in the needs of long-distance care providers and an ace navigator in your area that can find services and choices that are perfect for their needs.

8 Ways to Tame the Turmoil of the Holidays & Twindemic in the Aging Family

Learn how!

How to sell services to the desperate Aging Family during the holiday surge
How to give hope to frantic children who call when their aging parent strugglingwith Loneliness and isolation on the holiday
How to help the Aging Family make holiday visits remotely or safely in person
How to counsel the Aging Family to track aging decline &Twindemic risk in loved ones
How to work with both dysfunctional and long-distance families who call during the holidays
How to use GCM tools to contain Holiday chaos
How to use financial forecasting to prepare for business growth during the holidays

Sidestep the Many Care Managers Who Do not know how to work with Dysfunctional family or do COVID Coaching of Aging Families so the client chooses you

THIS FREE WEBINAR IS Thursday, December 3, 2020, FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST

Sign Up Now

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel Geriatric Care 1

Thank Your Employees Taking On Call While you Celebrate Thanksgiving Holiday

November 28, 2019

Did You Give a Happy Thanksgiving to Your Staff?

Today is Thanksgiving when we offer thanks to our friends, loved ones, family. But what about your employees this holiday month. How will you thank the very people that power your business and profit and may be on call for you right now?

“Truly, from bosses I liked, anything was great because I appreciated that they thought of me. From “bad” bosses, anything would annoy me. You can’t make up for being a jerk with a token of any kind once a year.”

Ideas for inexpensive but really appreciated gifts for Care Managers and staff– cards to grocery stores or department stores, a gift certificate from Amazon all given with a nice personal handwritten note.

Staff

How To Thank Staff All Year

I just did a blog about your need to bill 85% of your client hours. When a care manager does bill’s 85% write them a handwritten thank-you note being grateful for having the amount of productivity to keep the business thriving. Handwriting is not a lost art. It sends a message that you take the time personally to really care what the employees do for your business.

2. Send a handwritten thank-you note to each staff member during the year to applaud something they did. Saying thanks for something specific may be the ultimate reward. If you do it selectively yet authentically, a thank you note may be pinned above your employee’s desk for years. Create a formal letter recognizing your employee’s achievement. Sign it and use the company’s seal to give the letter something extra. If you really want to do it right, frame it.

3. Name an employee of the month in your newsletter with their picture. Give them a gift to tell them you are grateful for their hard work. Create a formal letter recognizing your employee’s achievement. Sign it and use the company’s seal to give the letter something extra. If you really want to do it right, frame it too.

4. Have an employee holiday party and give gifts to all employees for being such excellent care managers and for billing the 85% you need them to bill so you will all have employment.

5.Plan employee picnics, birthday parties, anniversary parties to thank them publicly throughout the year.

6. B.J Curry- Spitler, one of the first and I might say the greatest care managers, founded Age Concerns in San Diego in 1982. She gave gifts of massages to her care managers. A brilliant gift, a massage recognizes the tough emotional work that care managers do and their need to take care of themselves- which you as their employer are doing.

Give Thanks Throughout the year.

Ten Warning Signs of Aging Dysfunctional Family- Warning Sign Number Two

October 30, 2019

Dysfunctional FamiliesAnger-physical anger, emotional abuse, financial abuse

Fiscal and emotional abuse is the red blinking second sign of the dysfunctional aging family. Anger occurs normally in all families. However, in dysfunctional families, anger may take the form of repeated physical or

emotional abuse. This happens not only in one generation but passed on to next and perhaps all subsequent generations. Adult children are often getting even with their aging parents for being neglectful, perhaps physically abusive parents when these angry adult children were kids.

Fiscal abuse is a ” sleeper” form of abuse, yet a pernicious aging family problem. Adult children committed a whopping 40% of the abuse. Other family members were the next big thief’s investigated. The coming holidays create jaw-clenching stress on adult children who visit and finally see their parents decline. This means they need to care for them, which they have no idea how to do. Part of that comes from- they were never cared for as kids themselves. The holidays can be saved for a dysfunctional family, by care managers. Care managers can help them avoid abuse and support them to get the care they need for their aging parents who neglected them as children.

Financial Advisors Can be Thieves Too

The so-called fiduciary rule, which was scheduled to go into effect in April, would have required financial advisers working with retirement accounts to put the interests of their clients ahead of their own—

Brokers are currently allowed to follow a less-stringent “suitability” standard, which lets them recommend options that cost seniors more—and pay them more—even if a cheaper or more appropriate choice is available.

The Trump administration “blocked this rule and continues to block many retiring and aging client interests – putting them second and financial advisors interest (or ) profit first. This rule was supposed to go into effect January first, 2018 but was blocked again until 2019″. Formerly representing the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, Eugene Scalia played a major role in convincing an appeals court judicial panel to vacate the Obama Labor Department’s fiduciary rule. He is now Secretary of Labor and the DOL is working on a replacement rule to be unveiled by the end of the year.

Check out my latest webinar about working with dysfunctional aging families over the holidays

Sign Up for My Newest Free Webinar

5 Ways to Tame the Turbulence of Holiday Meltdown in Aging Families

THIS FREE WEBINAR IS ON NOVEMBER 21 FROM 2 PM-3 PM

Learn how!

How to work with both dysfunctional and long-distance families who call during the holidays

How to give hope to frantic children who call, after seeing their aging parent struggling with the rituals
How to sell services to desperate adult child callers
How to use GCM tools to contain Holiday chaos
How to use financial forecasting to prepare for growth during the holidays
Sidestep the Many Care Managers Who Do not know how to work with Dysfunctional Aging Families and get the client
SIGN UP NOW

Find out more in my YouTube channel Geriatric Care 1

When Cut Off in The Family is a ” Phantom Limb” at Thanksgiving

October 24, 2019

The Dysfunctional Family’s Worst Time of The Year

Families Phantom Limb

Dysfunctional Families Fail Eldercare

Family” Cut” off faces Phantom Limb at Thanksgiving

Shot in 3 weeks for a measly $350 K, it received a Sundance Film award and accolades for its pedigree cast including 21 year old Katie Holmes as the grunge Goth daughter who her family has ” Cut Off”,Patricia Clarkson as the dying Mom who distains then forgives her rebellious eldest child and Alice Drummond as the demented grandmother who comes along and plays the most rational person in the film in her obliviousness to the family holiday freak-out.

Thank Your Employees Taking On Call While you Celebrate Thanksgiving Holiday

Did You Give a Happy Thanksgiving to Your Staff?

How To Thank Staff All Year

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