Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

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Please Elvis – We had a Blue Christmas

December 26, 2020

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A Blue Christmas or Hannakka is what the dysfunctional family always has. Elvis gets them. He sings it for this joyless broken-hearted –yet furious- family. They have a blue holiday filled with memories of ruined, -maybe drunken- giftless pain while most holiday songs warble their celebration should be white.


And when those blue snowflakes start falling
That’s when those blue memories start calling
You’ll be doin’ all right with your Christmas of white
But I’ll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas

             You can’t be Elvis but here are some more steps a geriatric care manager can transform these families after they call on the holiday.

 

 

           

                        Identify intergenerational roles and conflicts: The GCM must ” get” existing power dynamics within the family, redefine responsibilities to move to generational maturity, and realign roles and tasks for each family member.

 

The GCM should encourage a new two-way nurturing relationship between the adult child and the aging parent that never existed. At the same time, the GCM must enable the adult child as a caregiver to set limits that are appropriate to a mature relationship  (a very hard redo) The GCM shapeshifts the adult child to identify and remove himself or herself from triangulated, fused, or other destructive family patterns that blue, blue Christmas

 

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5 Vital Clinical Tools to Help Aging Dysfunctional Families-Post Horrid Holidays- 

             Thursday, January 21, 2021

  Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday  

 Join me and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stocking.      

Learn how to!

  • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
  • Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family
  • Master Vital Clinical Tools, you to solve client problems
  • Take Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families
  • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

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Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

 

Filed Under: abusive aging parents, Aging, Aging Families and Disaster, Aging Family, aging family crisis, aging family system, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging therapist, Blog, borderline client, Borderline narcissistic family, Cut Off, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Dysfunctional Family System, entitled family, estranged elder parents and adult kids, estranged siblings, Families, fiscal abuse, Fiscal Elder Abuse, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, intergenerational conflict, nurse advocate, nurse care manager Tagged With: adult child, aging family dynamics, Blue Christmas, boundary in aging families, Clinical Tools for Aging Family, destructive family pattern, Dysfuctional Family system, dysfunctional family roles, fusion, geriatric care manager, older parents refusing care, triangulated aging family system, Triangulation

How Does A Care Manager Facilitate End of Life Family Meeting?

February 18, 2016

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            The threat of a life-threatening illness produces considerable distress for family members caring for their possibly dying loved one. After the diagnosis, in the acute phase of dying they need family meeting even more.

 Family meetings can be used to establish a safe environment where plans, decisions, conflicts and grief issues can be discussed honestly and openly. The overall goal of family meetings in end of life care is to enhance family support and functioning.  The care manager should promote cohesiveness in the family meeting to help the family:

             Reduce conflict

             Co-operate and communicate among family members in decision making”

·              Share thoughts and feelings with each other.

·             Make plans for the united family support of the dying person

 

Care Managers role

The care manager’s role will be facilitating the meetings, communicating information, explaining, negotiating care and having empathy and understanding. If Hospice is involved or Palliative Care, the Hospice/ Palliative Care  Medical Social Worker or Hospice Discharge Planner at the hospital will lead the meeting. A highly dysfunctional family will need a mediator or someone with mediation skills.Hospice can often supply a member of their team to do this.

            It’s important to realize that discussions involving end of life decisions can take often involve numerous family members in a series of meetings spaced over time. Setting an agenda for the meeting and letting all parties know ahead of time what you plan to discuss is an important part of the process. Research on improving care planning with older people and their families show that a family meeting is unsatisfactory when they go into it with an unclear agenda. The patient, the staff and the family members must all be clear on the meeting’s purpose. This requires conveying and gathering information with the patient, adjusting expectations of all parties, and resolving any differences. For example information from meetings with other professionals or results from medical tests may be needed. When the meetings begin, it is good for the case manager to review the meeting goals and to clarify if specific decisions need to be made. Before the meeting ends the team checks back with the participants and each other, to debrief and identify any unmet needs. The care manager should summarize the decisions made in the meeting and circulate those to all who attended the meeting so everyone know what was agreed to at the meeting and what role, they individually agreed to take and what they agreed to do.

 

  • Join me on my Free webinar February 25th 11 PST.
  • How to Add ” Death and Dying to Your Care Management Services and Deliver End of Life Care”   

 

 

 

 

 

 

            

Filed Under: Aging Tagged With: aging family dynamics, death and dying, dysfunctional aging family, family meeting end of life, geriatric care manager

Dying -How Do You Resolve Family Issues Before the End?

February 17, 2016

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  • Join me on my Free webinar February 25th 11 PST.
  • How to Add ” Death and Dying to Your Care Management Services and Deliver End of Life Care”   

Filed Under: Aging Tagged With: aging family dynamics, death and dying, end of life, Family Centered Care, geriatric care manager

Do You Need Wonder Woman To Help The Dysfunctional Aging Family?

December 3, 2015

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Once you have seen the drama in the aging dysfunctional family and know  each adult child’s role plus the conflict it causes– then what do you do next ? You become Wonder Woman   ( or man? )

You use your extensive aging life- geriatric care manager tool box  to realign the roles to get care for the aging client. Here’s three steps:

Superhero task 1

The Aging Life or geriatric care manager must identify existing power dynamics within the family, redefine responsibilities to achieve generational maturity, and realign roles and tasks for each family member.

Superheroine task 2

The Aging Life or GCM should encourage a new two-way nurturing relationship between the adult child and the parent that may not have previously existed.

Superhero/heroine task 3

At the same time, the Aging Life or  GCM must enable the adult child as caregiver to set limits that are appropriate to a mature relationship.

 

The GCM emboldens the adult child to identify and remove himself or herself from triangulated, fused, or other destructive family patterns.

This is not for the faint of heart . It is for a highly skilled and educated care manager and successful practioneer- in others words Wonder Woman.

Filed Under: Aging Tagged With: aging family dynamics, aging life and geriatric care management, dysfunctional aging family, dysfunctional family roles, patient advocate

Nearly Normal Aging Family- Opposed to Dysfuntional Family

October 10, 2013

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Filed Under: Aging Tagged With: aging family, aging family dynamics, dysfunctional aging family, geriatric care manager, nearly normal aging family

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