Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management
If your clients ‘holiday visit from their family was miserable and you are care manager to the aging parents, a family meeting between the adult sisters and brothers might be needed this January. This will help you decide if you need a mediator or you can be a facilitator at the family meeting.
Especially after some holiday liquid cheer, sour step-parents, angry step-siblings and mid-life adult kids who have grown up in a dysfunctional family can turn into sparring cats and dogs with teeth bared and claws dug in flesh, at Thanksgiving dinner.
The ordinary aging processes are made far tougher when a family has a history of dysfunction. Aging professionals, like geriatric care managers, have their greatest challenges in working with these “difficult” families.
They effectively face gut-wrenching eldercare challenges and crises. These families are under more stress as they move from long-established roles into uncharted territory.
What if they “ cut off” their Dad years ago and now he had a severe stroke- what do they do?? Someone has to take over Mom or Dad’s care and these dysfunctional midlife adult kids are heavy ambivalent or just don’t want to do it. They are caught between “ I love you” and “ I hate you” and it only takes a few drinks and snarky remarks to start a fracas.
Now that the holidays are soon arriving – they have the same attitude about
attending the family Thanksgiving dinner.
Read Lynn Lynn Hackstaff’s chapter, Difficult Families: Conflict, Dependence, and Mutuality: Care Management with the Difficult Aging Family in Handbook of Geriatric Care Management
THIS FREE WEBINAR IS NOVEMBER 21, 2019 FROM 2 PM – 3 PM PST
Learn how!
THIS FREE WEBINAR IS NOVEMBER 21, 2019 FROM 2 PM – 3 PM PST
Fiscal and emotional abuse is the red blinking second sign of the dysfunctional aging family. Anger occurs normally in all families. However, in dysfunctional families, anger may take the form of repeated physical or
emotional abuse. This happens not only in one generation but passed on to next and perhaps all subsequent generations. Adult children are often getting even with their aging parents for being neglectful, perhaps physically abusive parents when these angry adult children were kids.
Fiscal abuse is a ” sleeper” form of abuse, yet a pernicious aging family problem. Adult children committed a whopping 40% of the abuse. Other family members were the next big thief’s investigated. The coming holidays create jaw-clenching stress on adult children who visit and finally see their parents decline. This means they need to care for them, which they have no idea how to do. Part of that comes from- they were never cared for as kids themselves. The holidays can be saved for a dysfunctional family, by care managers. Care managers can help them avoid abuse and support them to get the care they need for their aging parents who neglected them as children.
The so-called fiduciary rule, which was scheduled to go into effect in April, would have required financial advisers working with retirement accounts to put the interests of their clients ahead of their own—
Brokers are currently allowed to follow a less-stringent “suitability” standard, which lets them recommend options that cost seniors more—and pay them more—even if a cheaper or more appropriate choice is available.
The Trump administration “blocked this rule and continues to block many retiring and aging client interests – putting them second and financial advisors interest (or ) profit first. This rule was supposed to go into effect January first, 2018 but was blocked again until 2019″. Formerly representing the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, Eugene Scalia played a major role in convincing an appeals court judicial panel to vacate the Obama Labor Department’s fiduciary rule. He is now Secretary of Labor and the DOL is working on a replacement rule to be unveiled by the end of the year.
Check out my latest webinar about working with dysfunctional aging families over the holidays
THIS FREE WEBINAR IS ON NOVEMBER 21 FROM 2 PM-3 PM
Learn how!
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Do You Have Clinical &GCM Business Skills to Give Hope to a Concierge Dysfunctional Family Desperately Calling Over the Holidays –
What does it Take?
Do you know the right caseload mix so you have the intense time to handle these dysfunctional very heavy care families?
Do you have 5 years of geriatric care management practice to understand and work with dysfunctional families ???
Do you have the business model to realign your caseload for both light & Heavy cases?
Can you increase your staff to do it?
Do you know aging family dynamics or do you have a staff member who does?
Do you have care managers who can work with complex aging dysfunctional families?
Do You Know How to do a two call intake and complimentary consultation?
Do You know how to make the sale to concierge clients?
Are you ready to be fired and have an account receivable problems that come with these dysfunctional family cases?
Do you know how to answer the challenge the adult children face and the client’s needs at the same time?
Do you know how to hold an impromptu family meeting with visiting hard to handle, adult children of dysfunctional families, over the hectic holiday to plan care for aging parents?
Do you understand the executive function loss that older woman experience when trying to plan a holiday ritual dinner that fails, upsetting their adult children?
Can you work with narcissistic entitled older clients who are very demanding?
Can you take the demeaning, blaming attitude of narcissistic old and new monied clients?
Do you know how to avoid the VIP Syndrome with Concierge Rich and Famous clients?
If you lack some of these skills consider my new Geriatric Care Managment On-Line Class that includes my Geriatric Care management Operations Manual to learn them and much more.