Nearly Normal Family Meltdown at Thanksgiving

As we approach Thanksgiving, we can see where the nearly normal family faces frustration and anger with a dependent older parent. We will use the turkey and the pumpkin pie to illustrate this point. If an elderly Mom was always a devoted parent, in her role as the head of family rituals (as most mother’s are), she probably always made the Crème de la crème of the thanksgiving ritual- the turkey.

But what if in her aging decline can’t make that turkey anymore? Someone has to take over not just making the turkey or pumpkin pie but be the new head of the family ritual, which is so much more than just a turkey. It could be making a menu, dividing dishes to bring, all the parts of the family holiday that someone hands to spearhead.

When Mom is dependent adult children can be resentful and even angry. Mom always took care of this turkey and us. Now one of us needs to take over this ritual and all rituals plus take care of her. The parent that nurtured the family now not only need nurturing herself but the family must reorganize and get a new chef for the turkey, baker of the pumpkin pie and on a meta level – shift the roles that the parents filled to themselves. This can be gut wrenching. To the nearly normal family and make them angry, aggrieved .Why? It is a whole shift of Balance in the family and change is difficult for all systems.