More Ruinous Roles in the Dysfunctional Aging Family

During the holiday season, dysfunctional families with gather and one of the adult siblings call may as a care manager . The Martyr below will object, the escapee may ignore the problem as they already fled from the family.If they hire you the meddler will try to sabotage your care plan. Check out these dysfunctional family roles before the call.

The Martyr has an innate need to nurture the older adult, even when this comes at the expense of the Martyr or the older adult. The Martyr’s seemingly endless devotion can sometimes interfere with an appropriate care plan. Most commonly, he or she will insist on carrying out the older adult’s wish to remain at home beyond the point that is safe or appropriate. Despite complaints of exhaustion, the Martyr will avoid opportunities for respite. He or she may be motivated by guilt or other unresolved issues underlying the relationship. 

The Escapee is typically an adult child who lives far away and has withdrawn or is entirely absent during a family crisis. Involved family members will resent the Escapee, particularly when there is a history of family conflict. The Escapee may withdraw from family problems in self-defense and resist being drawn back into a stressful relationship with siblings. 

The Meddler will interfere with an established care plan in an attempt to wrest control away from other family members, to compete with siblings, or to assert dominance within the family. The Meddler needs to be involved in every decision made and is overly involved with details. The Meddler will have frequent contact with the care manager to change or challenge recommendations.  

The older adult, of course, is the central figure in the drama of the so-called difficult family. The care manager must assess the older adult’s own role . That’s why the care manager must take a ” Whole Family ” approach with these hard to manage clans.