3 Types of Dysfunctional Aging Family Children Calls
Where You N
eed Clinical Skills
# 1 Inquiry from a Narcissistic Adult Children
in Aging Dysfunctional Family
Dysfunctional adult children who inquire about your services can be a tough sell. First, let’s- consider The narcissistic adult child from an aging dysfunctional family who calls for help and has an “it’s all about me” attitude. The aging parent and or a midlife sibling could be narcissists. With aging parents, all siblings may have resented this self-absorption of their family their
entire lives and have a love/hate relationship with older parents. Siblings, the other brothers, and sisters resent this, especially with parent care. The self-absorbed sibling either does not participate in solving sibling or aging family troubles but just makes them worse. They call after a disastrous holiday event like the coming Labor Day family gathering and you need clinical skills to work with them
#2 Inquiry from Devalued Child Entitled but Servile Adult.
Dysfunctional adult children who call you about your services can include devalued adult children from the aging dysfunctional family calls you, you need clinical skills to work with them.
As a kid, the adult child of a narcissistic parent was devalued in the parent’s eyes so that the now aging parent can feel superior and powerful in the world. These children mature into adults who are emotionally impoverished, inflexible, and needy.
As a geriatric care manager, the adult child presents as entitled. As clients, these adult children fear that unless they make inflexible demands, they will receive nothing. “ Get my mother into a concierge wing of a hospital by tomorrow”
An adult child of a narcissistic aging parent will present as nasty, aggressive, and devaluing of the service provider. Or they could be essentially insatiable and easily injured by the helping professional. The adult children of narcissistic entitled families are also often angry and frustrated at having to give care to a parent or parents whom they experienced as ungiving, demanding, intrusive, overpowering, and needy. They are members of an ultra-dysfunctional aging family. They call after a visit to aging parents and you need clinical skills to work with them
# 3-Inquiry from Needy Adult Children in the Dysfunctional Aging Family
The adult child who calls may be the needy adult child. Baby boomers must evolve beyond the needy child he or she has been, depending on aging parents’ fiscal,
emotional, and social support, to the adult who supports his parent. Adult Children of aging parents in the 21st century not only confront the delay of their own needs when their parent’s aging and reliance call them but confront their own future and very much more immediate loss of the central figure in their lives, their own parents.
Some don’t- especially in the dysfunctional aging family.
These adults feel starved for parental affection they never received and often seek affection from professionals and other people in their lives to compensate for the care they didn’t receive as children. They call after the holiday and you need clinical skills to work with them.
These 3 types of adult children have clinical difficulties that are coping and defense mechanisms allowing them to adapt to a dysfunctional family. The care manager must enter the family system clinically to address the needs symptoms and defenses of the adult children to get care for the elder.
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