Senior Isolation Archives ⋆ Cathy Cress

I’ll be Home For Christmas in Spite of COVID if my Sibling’s Not there

December 6, 2020

Holiday Films Can Be About Ruptured Relationships

For many of us, the road home for the holidays is rutty especially this year with rampant COVID. For some, the path has gaping potholes. It can remind us of childhood conflicts between siblings that ruptured our relationship. Adult children who would still gather with elderly parents and siblings may be glad we all should not travel on the holiday this year due to the pandemic, as they avoid the awful holiday with an estranged sibling.

A great film to watch for nasty sibling rivalry with the comic brilliance of Vince Vaughn and Paul Giamatti is Fred Claus. Fred neglected by Mrs. Claus by favorite son St Nick, who takes all his presents, turns to life as a repo man to get even. It sounds like a dumb film and is a little dumb but has a stellar cast in Kathy Bates, Miranda Richardson, Kevin Spacey, and Rachel Weisz.

Adult Sibling Rivalry Usually Starts in Childhood

Serious sibling rivalry happens when the damage was done by a sister or brother years ago, leaving a never healing gash in our mind. In fact, that old wound from a sibling may still fester and ooze enough to lead us to say we believe we don’t want to see the family on the holidays.

We feel we hate our siblings for many different reasons. The chief complaint that lurks in our mind is that Mom or Dad favored them over us. She got the new prom dress for her high school celebration, and a few years later we ended up with her hand-me-down. Dad sent him to a great four-year college, and we were sent to a community college near home. She was the baby so got to grow up with late curfews and loose rules, when Mom and Dad were unbearably strict with the rest of us. He was the oldest and Mom needed him to take care of the bunch of us, so she let him boss us around. He was the stepsibling who moved in and took over half our room.

Sibling Rivalry Can Stop Adult Children FRom Helping Aging Parents Stay Safe From COVID

That can all come back again if adult children do travel back for the holidays, against all CDC and State warnings. Just traveling back could give the adult child or worse, the elderly parent, the unwanted gift, like lethal coal in their stocking, COVID. But if the siblings do journey all back to the family celebration, they all can open Pandora’s box of the past, picking favorite siblings or parental slights. Whatever happened in their childhood, can flashback like holiday PTSD. If the aging parents are struggling they may look for a GCM, so make sure that skill is on your website and be very sure you have skills in working with sibling rivalry. My book Care Managers Working with The Aging Family has a chapter in it with tools to work with adult siblings.

Siblings Need TO Work Together to Keep Aging Parents Safe From Pandemic

This is a time when adult parents need adult siblings to work together as a team to ensure aging parents’ safety during COVID. This means not even going home to risk COVID. Adult children staying home also means one sibling setting up a virtual family

meeting to create a family plan to increase aging parents quality of life while sheltering in place alone with rising loneliness and isolation, It means making sure they have and are using all safety precautions against getting the virus and having a family plan if they are hospitalized, then discharged to recover or even to recovering with no hospitalizations if hospitals are full and turn patients away. . A geriatric care manager can offer that to the family.

Start a Coaching COVID Service for AGING Families

So pre Holiday, add Coaching Adult Children and marketing this skill to Help their older relatives with COVID risks and use your knowledge of helping adult sibling strife to help them help their

parents as a family team

5 Ways Care Managers Can Bring Quality of Life to LGTBQ Elders

June 26, 2020

It is PRIDE MONTH but Many LGTBQ elders have a miserable Quality of Life.A recent report found that LGBT elders tend to have more medical problems, higher poverty levels social isolation than straight elders. Loneliness and isolation among LGTBQ elders bring” elevated rates of depression and mood disorders, anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), alcohol use and abuse, and suicide ideation and attempts, as well as psychiatric co-morbidity.” Same-sex partners are not allowed many of the resources afforded to spouses and biological family members during the aging process. LGBT elders tend to lack support from many mainstream aging programs such as senior centers and places of worship or they are afraid of the stigma and discrimination that could result from joining those programs.

Mainstream retirement communities often deny LGBT elder couples the right to live in them so they often continue to live on their own, even if they need access to the services offered by those communities. These elders may fear discrimination and be ostracized by housing staff and often stay in the closet to obtain housing. Because large numbers of gay elders choose to live alone, they have fewer opportunities for social interaction than their heterosexual peers.

Geriatric Care Managers and Aging Life Professionals can use quality of Life Activities to bring back joy to LGTBQ seniors. Here are five resources.

Use Reminiscence Therapy

As a result, many LGBT elders live in the community and can really benefit from the quality of life activities that geriatric care managers can bring into the home through a personal assistance service and Reminiscence Therapy

Arrange dinner parties and Outings for Emotional QOL

One LGBT program in California created social connections by arranging dinner parties, shopping trips, and grocery shopping.

Finding activities that help elders grow and nurture their emotional, intellectual, physical, and/or spiritual quality of life can help to nurture an older person’s whole life and bring back joy. For example, look at this youtube on an older woman who reconnected with art, which is her talent and spirituality and younger people plus her family, through a quality of life assessment.

Create LGTBQ Quality of Life in Assisted Living

But what about the quality of life for LGBT aging clients. This recent article in the New York Times shows how one retirement community responding and found joy for LGBT clients, where many LGTB aging clients have to fight for acceptance.

Read Journal Of Aging Life Issue on LGTBQ ELders

If aging life or geriatric care manager want to find resources for LGBT aging clients or more about their issues, The Journal of Aging Life Care has an article with many resources to help you serve these vulnerable clients in finding Joy and acceptance.

The Journal Of Aging Life has a resources list for a research tool for aging LGBT clients In the article below By Jennifer Crittenden

Read Handbook of Geriatric Care Management QOL Resources

The Handbook of Geriatric Care Management 4^th edition has a seminal chapter written by geriatric care manager Nina Herndon with a quality of life assessment to help you pinpoint the quality of life needs of all clients including LGTBQ seniors they serve Joy in addition to care ‘

With COVID-19 Share Nina Herndon’s VIRTUAL Activities Program with Your Clients

To respond to COVID-19 and the shelter in place orders for all seniors, who are the most vulnerable including LGTBQ seniors who may have already had HIV has developed a Sage Hummingbird Virtual program you can use remotely.

Nina also has developed the first activity kit for the quality of life, Joyful Moments , that you can use to train care managers on inventive activities to use in your own GCM or homecare program.

Find out more to help not only seniors with COVID but the most discriminated seniors besides seniors of color –-LGTBQ during PRIDE MONTH .

Nursing Homes residents in Pandemic -Need Help Today, Mother’s Day& Future

May 10, 2020

MOTHER’S DAY 6 FEET APART AND LONLEY

Nursing home residents, like prisoners, are locked in space “less” than 6 feet apart in facilities with a growing death rate that has reached 20% of all Covid-19. Support them on Mother’s Day and every day in the future. Their situation is increasingly dire as in Florida, a state with the largest elderly population the cases have spiked radically since restrictions were lifted 60% of new cases are in nursing homes

If you are an aging professional- step up to the plate. Through the Hartford Foundation join Huddles.The network is designed to support nursing home leadership, staff, residents, and families impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic. For the week of May 11-15, the huddles will focus on testing. They have organized the Engage Initiative for COVID-19 in Nursing Home. So join and advocate for facilities with the highest death rate in the country- where the federal government does nothing as a holocaust is occurring

MAKE A SIGN AND VISIT A LOCAL NURSING HOME TODAY

Support older residents in nursing homes by making a SIGN and standing outside the facility. Gather some friends. People all over the country are doing this, showing the residents they are loved. In Holiday Florida, nursing home residents were treated to a mother’s day parade. In Chillicothe, Ohio. residents drove around the driveways of a nursing home in HONK for HUGS

Today or someday this week, just call a nursing home in your city and tell them what you are doing. Get their permission and ask if you can go from window to window with your sign of Happy Mother’s Day or ” whatever you wish for them “and wave. It is that simple. Today these elderly, sick and threatened mothers, cannot see anyone, often have family long distance who cannot see them, and are literally locked in a facility where beds are not 6 feet apart.

PLAY IT FORWARD – DO SOMETHING FOR NURSING HOME RESIDENTS IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS

No matter what your state, town, or the facility is doing to protect them they are the number one target of coronaviruses doing to protects them. AARP has started a mutual Aide group to both give and receive emotional aide during a pandemic. Join a group or organize a group to make phone calls to residents of the local nursing homes. If you are a retired medical professional down to an aide or someone who can answer the phone- instead of virtually, you could really step up to the plate, and volunteer to help a nursing home that is understaffed in the pandemic .

In my home state, CALIFORNIA, you can join the Social Bridging Program. You can also join the Friendship line to call older people who are lonely and just need you to be there to listen.

ONE SMALL STEP FOR PEOPLE IN THE BULLSSEYE OF DEATH

The point is to do something one small thing whether it is on Mother’s Day Monday or this week. Take a step to help the bullseyes targets of COVID-19 the elderly who are terrified, lonely, and now on Mother’s Day alone.

The 2 Deadliest US Sites of COVID-19 Nursing Homes & Prisons

May 2, 2020

PRISON INMATES AND NURSING HOME PATIENTS NOT 6FT APART – 6 FEET UNDER

70% of inmates in federal prisons have COVID-19. In Kansas, the Lansing Correctional Facility had a riot of inmates over COVID-19 lack of care or protection It took the rebellion to get the coronavirus testing PPE and care. The Bureau of Prisons in Kansas confirmed finally that 79 staff have coronavirus and 88 prisons and prisoners dead.

Older residents in nursing homes cannot rebel like prisoners. Many can’t even walk. The Atlantic Magazine just published an article, We are Killing Elders Now. The writer states “In at least six states, these fatalities account for half of all COVID-19 deaths, and according to the World Health Organization, half of all coronavirus fatalities in Europe have been traced to nursing homes too. Some of this mortality is linked to long-term-care facilities that are shoddily run or that violate health standards. But most of them are doing the best they can with what they have. And they don’t have much”.

KAISER FOUNDATION NURSING HOME STAFFING AND USE OF PPE NOT REQUIRED IN MOST STATES

Kaiser reports -Staff Screening. It is more common for states to recommend rather than require daily screening of staff for illness in NFs (24 states recommend, 16 states + DC require)

Use of PPE. More states recommend (23 states) than require (7 states + DC) staff to use PPE

Two States that require testing for coronavirus of ALL residents of nursing homes are Maryland where 556 have died as of the Washington Post article. and Tennessee

THE FEDS HAVE NO CMS FEDERAL GUIDELINES OR REPORTING

We have no federal guidelines for safety testing according to an article by the Kaiser Foundation

It is now estimated that 16,000 deaths have occurred in nursing homes and that is without the federal government revealing any numbers and not making available any testing. But the numbers are probably huge- if we could just do testing.

CMS announced it would have a meeting of a “panel” of experts “ sometime at the end of May”. After probably 20,000 older people died and the feds did nothing this shows their sense of urgency about this pandemic’s national “elder cleansing”.

WHAT CONNECTS PRISONS AND NURSING HOMES – CONCENTRATION CAMPS

So, what is the connection between the viral spread of COVID-19 in nursing homes and prisons- 6 feet ? Prisoners and residents, in nursing homes, and prisons cannot social distance. Jails and prisons have human beings crammed together with no choice. Nursing homes have 2 beds or if you are on Medicaid three to a room. Neither group has a choice to social distance. They are ” concentrated” as in concentration camps or death camps.

Do SOMETHING – HELP NURSING HOMES PREVENT MORE CARNAGE

So, as someone who has spent her career in aging, I am calling out to everyone, especially professional in aging – do something. Since the feds appear to be doing little- call your congressman, write a letter to the editor.

BE KIND LIKE RACHEL MADDOW REPORTS LA JEWISH HOME LA WAS

Rachel Maddow suggests calling your local nursing homes and see what they need. Be kind like the LA Jewish Home was to a smaller nursing home LA Brier Oaks. They wanted to test their residents and had no tests and the larger LA Jewish Home had tests and shared them with the smaller as a good neighbor. What they found was ravaging but it also showed caring and generosity. Care and be generous and show the helpless elders in nursing homes in your town you are opposed to -nursing home being prisons or concentration camps.

Concierge Clients Who Can Afford Private Geriatric Care Management No Longer Taking Cruises

April 7, 2020

Tens of thousands are dying in the US and worldwide of coronavirus so a cruise ship of any cruise now wreaks of expiring slowly on the ocean with no real hospital and no place to disembark. This is not the product that the upper 10% or anyone would board now. But in better times concierge products like a Viking Cruise as it is understandable to a high-end customer. They buy it –because it has exceptional services and recognizes their entitled station in life. Coronavirus recognizes no status class and kills all equally.

Sell Products Clients Need During the Pandemic

Geriatric care managers, rather than tell inquiry clients they do assessment–should offer products they need in this pandemic – like relocation (moving an older person). Elders who live in dangerous SNF facilities, so vulnerable to COVID-19

In an article from the LA Times Charlene Harrington a Professor from UCFS states”Families with loved ones in nursing homes should consider pulling them out if it’s at all feasible to care for them at home, said Charlene Harrington, professor emeritus at UC San Francisco’s School of Nursing.

“The risk of exposure is so overwhelming,” said Harrington, who has studied nursing homes since the 1980s. “It’s a terrible concern.”

ALCA suggested that you call all the SNF’s in your area and explain that you specialize in moving elders and can be of help to their clients who are moving out of SNF’s due to family concerns.

GCM Products for the Isolated and Lonely Seniors During Stay at Home Orders

Quality of Life (increasing the joy in an older person’s life who is lonely) can be an important service to offer during the coronavirus pandemic. Seniors who live alone are already isolated, lonely, and depressed and the virus only causes this to explode in their lives. Quality of Life programs like Sage Eldercare’s Humminbird Program has gone remote and can be purchased for a minimal amount for client’s by families or agencies, nationally. Nina Herndon GCM, Sage owner and innovator, started this program several years ago because she was tired of watching elders she served watching TV 40 hours a day. She has brought it into the digital world to serve coronavirus patients nationally. Nina also wrote the Chapter on how to set up a Quality of Life program in my book Handbook of Geriatric care Management 4th edition

Products For Seniors Discharged from Hospitals in Pandemic When SNF’s will NOt Take Them

Home from the Hospital is a GCM product the Safely helps the older client through discharge and the first 3 months to make sure they do not return to the hospital, which now is overrun with coronavirus patients and at capacity.

Home From the Hospital pinpoints exactly what the older person needs for discharge with the hospital and why the family is desperately calling for help. They are calling for help at a piercing decibel level because nursing homes will not take them for fear of COVID 19 infection of their residents

To do this, offer these products to families third parties, hospitals, and nursing homes in this crucial time. Develop continuously integrated solutions through a product procedure placed in your company operation manual, along with all of your products so you ensure your staff can deliver, step by a step-that high-end product that the Concierge client especially under the huge stress of the coronavirus with vulnerable parents -just purchased and demands.

If you do not have an operation manual, I have all these products in my GCM Operations Manual plus 11 more, with all the procedures in place so you can instantly offer them. I will offer a 20% discount for the GCM manual during the pandemic for Geriatric Care Management Agencies suffering during the coronavirus outbreak. Contact me here

Concierge Clients Who Can Afford Private Geriatric Care Management No Longer Taking Cruises

Sell Products Clients Need During the Pandemic

GCM Products for the Isolated and Lonely Seniors During Stay at Home Orders

Products For Seniors Discharged from Hospitals in Pandemic When SNF’s will NOt Take Them

Contact

Connect with Cathy

Get Cathy’s “10 Critical Success Steps to a Profitable Aging Life or GCM Business”