Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

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How to Help Avoid a Cat and Dog fight Among the Dysfunctional Family On Holidays

November 1, 2022

cat-dog-fight.jpg

Sparring Cats and Dogs AKA Siblings

Learn how to calm the chaos of the dysfunctional family on the holiday.  During the coming holiday season, especially after some liquid cheer, sour step-parents, angry step-siblings, and mid-life adult kids who grew -up in a dysfunctional family can spin into sparring cats and dogs with teeth bared at Thanksgiving Hannaka, Christmas dinner. Sign -up for my  holiday webinar

 Why Their Stocking is Full of Coal

As if COVID has not made the holidays hard enough for family gatherings, the ordinary

 

aging processes are made far tougher when a family has a history of dysfunction. The holidays are red meat for a dysfunctional family. Aging professionals, like geriatric care managers, have their greatest challenges in working with these “difficult” families.

Dysfunctional families are not able to organize themselves

Dysfunctional Familiy on the holidays

They effectively face gut-wrenching eldercare challenges and crises. These families are under more stress as they move from long-established roles into uncharted territory. the dysfunctional family on holidays like Thanksgiving can face an emotional detonation then an explosion with siblings laying into each other not the turkey.

 Why Cut-OFF Ruins the Celebration 4The Dysfunctional family on holidays

The dysfunctional family on the holidays faces shunning or cutoff. What if adult kids “ cut off” their Dad years ago and now he had a severe stroke- what do they do when caught between I hate you and now I love you. One sibling has taken over Mom or Dad’s care and her/his dysfunctional midlife adult siblings just don’t want her to do this. It only takes a few drinks at dinner  and snarky remarks start a fracas that leads to cut-off, which leads to them not sharing in Mom’s care, overloading the sibling caregiver, and endangering Mom’s care, through this shunning.

 

Now that the holidays are soon arriving – they have the same attitude about attending the family Thanksgiving dinner.

 

 

Dysfunctional family on holidays

SIGN UP FOR MY FREE HOLIDAY WEBINAR –

 

WEDNESDAY, November 16th, 2022, FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST

 Learn how to create marketing to alert adult children you are there

  • Pre-Holiday Social media campaigns to reach worried caregivers
  • Pre- Holiday-Materials about the warning signs that a parent needs help
  • Pre-Holiday e-newsletters, podcasts, speakers bureau, blogs-to market

Learn clinical skills to covert and tools to serve frantic adult children and their declining, resistant parents and the dysfunctional family on the holiday

  • How to sell services to desperate post-holiday callers from Normal dysfunctional & long-distance family
  • How to use tools to contain sibling holiday chaos & arrange care in festive family fright
  • How to move the family to New Year’s stability
  • Position Your Agency ahead of Care Managers who do not have great pre-holiday marketing campaigns and lack the clinical skills how to work with the dysfunctional family or nearly normal family during the holidays
  • Featuring

 Cathy Cress MSW author of the Handbook of Geriatric Care

Management        

 

 

  • Dysfunctional family on holidays

 

 

SIGN UP FOR MY FREE HOLIDAY WEBINAR –

 

 

 

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

 

 

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Are You Ready for Thanksgiving Calls From Stressed Long Distance Caregivers ?

October 27, 2022

 

Long Distance Caregivers stressed by distance

Long Distance Caregivers Stressed by Distance

Stressed Long Distance Caregiver

Stressed long-distance caregivers are getting ready for holiday travel. So care managers -get ready for the holiday rush -when these long-distance caregivers call you. Many have often been flying or driving to both visit and care for aging family members for a while and have been exhausted for a long time. These usually understand that their parents are deteriorating with age and are savvy enough to have researched options and already found you on the web ( a reason to have a great website).

 

 

The Holiday Push Over The Edge

Stressed Long Distance caregiver

When Long distance family gathers with aging parents on Thanksgiving and everyone sees problems with an older person- the long-distance family may agree to call for help.  The brutal stress of the holiday season on top of caring for an aging parent long-distance may push the long-distance care providers over the edge to join the Holiday Rush for care and call you. Are you ready for that holiday rush??

Signs That a Parent Needs Care

Unpaid bills litter Dad’s desk. He refuses to go to church when he was a devoted churchgoer all his life.

Stressed  Long Distance caregiver

He’s drinking too much at the local pub. When the daughter puts the post-turkey leftovers in the refrigerator she finds moldy food on every shelf. When asked about the bills and the moldy food, Dad gets really angry at them when he was an easygoing guy all his life. This is the holiday push where they pick up the phone and scream  911 to a care manager.

Call made to 911- to the GCM from stressed long-distance providers

Stressed Long Distance caregiver

 

At that point, the daughter may feel panicked by holiday push and pull out her phone and call an aging life or geriatric care manager because she cannot fly home without getting help. Are you ready for these desperate calls you will be in this holiday rush?

You -Care Manager Gets Call  From Stressed long distance care providers- Are You Ready?

Give frantic adult children hope when they frantically call this holiday.

So be prepared for their inquiry and know the needs of long-distance caregivers plus the resources in your area you can use in this holiday rush with long-distance caregivers when they call you. Do not give away the store in your call but let

 

them know that you are an expert in the needs of long-distance care providers and an ace navigator in your area that can find services and choices that are perfect to end their holiday pu

SIGN UP FOR MY HOLIDAY WEBINAR –

 

Get Ready for the Holiday Rush

WEDNESDAY, November 16th, 2022, FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST

 Learn how to create!

  • Pre-Holiday Social media campaigns to reach worried caregivers
  • Pre- Holiday-Materials about the warning signs that a parent needs help
  • Pre-Holiday Marketing to help you sign up families who might face a serious decline in aging parents
    Get ready for the holiday rush

  • How to sell services to desperate post-holiday callers from Normal dysfunctional & long-distance family
  • How to use tools to contain holiday chaos & arrange care in festive family fright
  • How to move the family to New Year’s stability
  • Position Your Agency ahead of Care Managers who do not have great pre-holiday marketing campaigns and lack the clinical skills how to work with Adult Children and families during the chaotic aging family holiday visit when adult kids find their aging parents need care
  • Featuring

 Cathy Cress MSW author of the Handbook of Geriatric Care

Management        

 

  • Find Out More 

  • Featuring Speaker

 Cathy Cress MSW author of the Handbook of Geriatric Care Management        

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

 

SIGN UP FOR MY NEWEST WEBINAR. 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Aging, Aging Family, aging life care manager, Blog, care manager, Covid Holiday Remote Visit, COVID Webinar, COVID-19 & Care Management, Covid-19 and GCM SERVICES, COVID-19 Webinar, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Families, Geriatric Care Management Business, geriatric care manager, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Holiday season, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, Holidays, HolidaySeason and COVID, Long Distance Care, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving & dysfunctional family, Thanksgiving and COVID, Thanksgiving Parent crisis, Thanksgiving Safe Visits to Grandma, Thanksgving visits during COVID Tagged With: aging family Thanksgiving, aging life care manager, aging life inquiry, aging life or geriatric care manager, care manager, case manager, check list for holiday visit, COVID Driving to Thanksgiving, COVID THANKSGIVING VISIT, COVID VIRTUAL THANKSGIVING VISIT, geriatric care manager, long distance care provider, long distance family on holiday, nurse care manager, Thanksgiving COVID Travel, Thanksgiving with dysfunctional family

Adult Sibling Rivalry at Thanksgiving- Where To Get Help?

October 25, 2022

A sad woman crying as she prays.

Siblings are The Biggest Source Of Stress Between Human Beings

At family rituals, like Thanksgiving next month, adult siblings often are often brought back together. If you are one- will it be a happy feast or wrecked by holiday sibling rivalry??

 

Sibling Rivalry Can Give Acid Reflux to Grandma’s Thanksgiving Dinner

As Gail Sheehy said in her book, Passages in Caregiving, we think that siblings will automatically support each other when aging parents fall apart. Sheehy quotes sociologists, Karl Pillemer and J. Jill Suitor, on sibling rivalry, in a study they did conclude that siblings are inherent rivals and the biggest source of stress between human beings.

If you are a midlife sibling, perhaps you have a brother or sister to whom you hardly speak because of sibling rivalry. Maybe you are about to see your siblings at the coming Thanksgiving feast, even on zoom during COVID, and anticipate largely ignoring him or her or doing chitchat as you seethe the inside. If you fit this description of sibling rivalry, you are in the same lurching boat as uncounted baby boomer siblings all over the world.

 

Childhood Wound Ripped Open

That wound from childhood may still ache enough to keep you on the furrowed path your family followed when you were young. Now, however, you and your adult siblings, nearing or at retirement age, may need to come together again to be part of a niece or

adult siblings need to come together for aging parents

 

 

nephew’s wedding or christening, help plan a parent’s anniversary dinner, or, most important, oversee the increasing care of elderly family members.

Best Thanksgiving Sibling Rivalry Film

I suggest you watch Pieces of April, a fabulous Thanksgiving film ( lead 21-year-old Katy Holmes debuts in a standout performance) where the film’s dysfunctional family revolves around adult sibling rivalry. The film is also about interracial couples, and in the end, around a catastrophic illness of the aging parent, where the siblings need to resolve their differences. It also makes it a trifecta with dementia. The grandmother, who has dementia is taken out of her nursing home to join the dysfunctional Thanksgiving feast and offers surprising sanity to the sibling-rivalry drama.

If you recognize this problem in your own family, seek counseling before coming the holidays engulf you. Contact the Aging Life Care Association to find help before a parental crisis.

SIGN UP FOR MY HOLIDAY WEBINAR –

holiday sibling rivalry

Get Ready for the Holiday Rush

WEDNESDAY, November 16th, 2022, FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST

 Learn how to create!

  • Pre-Holiday Social media campaigns to reach worried caregivers
  • Pre- Holiday-Materials about the warning signs that a parent needs help
  • Pre-Holiday Marketing to help you sign up families who might face a serious decline in aging parents
  • How to sell services to desperate post-holiday callers from Normal dysfunctional & long-distance family
  • How to use tools to contain holiday chaos & arrange care in festive family fright
  • How to move the family to New Year’s stability
  • Position Your Agency ahead of Care Managers who do not have great pre-holiday marketing campaigns and lack the clinical skills how to work with Adult Children and families during the chaotic aging family holiday visit when adult kids find their aging parents need care
  • Featuring

 Cathy Cress MSW author of the Handbook of Geriatric Care

Management        

 

  • Featuring Speaker

 Cathy Cress MSW author of the Handbook of Geriatric Care

Management        

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THIS FREE WEBINAR IS Tuesday, November 16th, 2021, FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST

Sign Up Now

Free Webinar

 

 

 

Find out more about dysfunctional families and sibling rivalry from My YouTube, Channel  

 

 

Filed Under: ADULT SIBling, Aging, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Aging therapist, ALCA Dysfuntional Family Help, Black Aging Family, Black Entrepreneur, Black Entrepreneur RB, Black Entrepreneur RN, Black entrepreneurs, Black Geriatric Care Manager, Black geriatric care managers, Black RN, Black Travel Nurses, Black Travel RN, Blog, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional family, Cut Off, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Dysfunctional Family Inquiry, Dysfunctional Family System, Families, Filial Crisis, FREE WEBINAR, Geriatric Care Management Business, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, nurse care manager, SIBLING, sibling rivalry, sibling sharing care, Sibling Strife Christmas, Sibling Strife Holidays, Sibling Strife Thanksgiving, Social Media, Social Media for Care managers, Social Media Holidays, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving & dysfunctional family, THANKSGIVING BLOG, Thanksgiving Parent crisis, Thanksgving visits during COVID, Therapist Specializing in Aging Tagged With: adult sibling, adult sibling conflict, adult sibling estrangement, aging life care on holidays, aging parent crisis on holiday, Aging siblings, Black, black aging family, black american geriatric care managers, black american social workers, Black Entrepreneurs, Black Nurse Entrepreneurs, care manager marketing, celebrations with siblings, cut-off sibling, Dydsfunctual Family Holiday, dysfunctual family, Dysfunctual siblings, Holiday Crisis For Aging Family, Holiday Marketing, Holiday marketing Plan, Holiday Rush, Holiday sibling rivalry, Holidays with midlife siblings, Home care marketing, irate siblings, Prepare for holiday rush, sibling conflict, sibling rivalry, siblings, Thansgiving sibling rivalry

How To Get Free PR Through a Speakers Bureau

February 23, 2022

Use Speakers Bureau to Find Adult Children of VIP Clients 

Using Free PR Through a Speaker’s Bureau is the best way to find worried adult children who are wondering how to approach their failing and frail adult parents who are both wealthy and ignore their children’s pleas to get care.

 

 

 

 

Speakers Bureau to Find Adult Children

 

You create 4 Hot Topics, like “Mom Loved you Best-“ Working with Siblings Over Older Parent Care”, “The Dutiful Daughter- How Women Can Take Care of Themselves while Taking Care of Mom”.” ” Parent-Sweetheart Scams  – How to Understand  Undue Influence and Protect Your Aging Parent From Being Scammed”

Tasha Beauchamp, an Aging life Care Webmaster, Research Scientist owner of Elder Pages Online, LLC  had this tip in an ALCA blog  about in-person presentations 

“You provide enough information to demonstrate your expertise, but as someone mentioned already, not enough detail that you are giving away the store.  One way to get an insight into what people are interested in and will attend a speakers Bureau presentation is to look at the top eldercare-related searches on Google compiled by the Pew Internet Project:” according to Tasha Beauchamp, Aging Life Webmaster and Research Scientist. Here is a list:

Free PR Through a Speaker’s Bureau

  • Dementia and memory loss
  • Long-term care options
  • Paying for care
  • Handling the stress of caregiving”
  • Other ideas from other Aging Life  members include were
  • Hospice & Palliative Care
  • Dementia Care
  • Beauchamp pointed out that dementia is the number 1 feared disease only behind cancer
  • Getting Free PR Through a Speakers’ Bureau Plus Bookings

  •  My GCM On-Line Business GCM Class includes how to set up a Speaker Bureau to find adult children with VIP clients in need of care. We cover how to get a perfect free  venue to do the presentation- and to arrange  speaking gig’s at local women’s  clubs, like AAUW clubs service clubs like the rotary, how to get free PR for your agency through pre- presentation radio interviews covering the important topic you will present  and how to get leads through sign-ups after the presentation
  • SIGN UP FOR MY FREE WEBINAR   

  • When: March 15 2022
    2 PM-3:30 PM PST

  • Learn 

    A feature is a fact    A benefit tells your customer the advantages of those facts   

     

    Take Advantage of One Time Low Offers on Products

    You will learn

    The difference between selling features vs benefits

    You will learn how to sell the benefits of your services for each 3rd party you  serve

    How Benefits make your sale to wealth managers, elder law attorneys and concierge physicians to get referrals for new clients

    The Benefits that make your sale to upscale Assisted Living, accountants, financial planners, Hospice

    Step by Step how to set up meetings with 3rd parties to make the sale

    Even if you cannot attend you will get the recording of the webinar the next day if you sign up

    SIGN UP 

  •  

 

Find out more- Subscribe to My YouTube from My Geriatric Care 1 Channel.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Adult children, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, ALCA PR, ALCA Public Relations, Black Entrepreneur RN, Black RN, Black Travel RN, Blog, care management start-up, care manager, Concierge Senior, elder care manager, FREE MARKETING WEBINAR, Free Public Relations, FREE WEBINAR, GCM & FREE PR RADIO, GCM & Radio Interviews, GCM Marketing skills, GCM PR, GCM Webinar, geriatric care management emergency proceduress, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, Marketing aging life care, marketing ALCA /GCM, marketing care management, Marketing copy, marketing geriatric care management, marketing to the top 10$, Marketing to top 10%, marketing to upper 10%, Marketing Tools 2021, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, PR, Public Relations, Rich and Famous Entitled Family, Sales in geriatric care management, Social Media for eldercare, Speaker's Bureau, Webinar Tagged With: aging family, aging life care manager, aging parent care, ALCA marketing, ALCA PR, ALCA Public Relations, black aging family, black american geriatric care managers, black american social workers, Black Entrepreneurs, care manager, care manager marketing, case manager, CRM, GCM Pubic Relations, marketing data base, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Radio Interview, Speakers Bureau, Speakers's Bureau, Speaking to Clubs

4 Dysfunctional Family Markers Clinicians Can Face In New Years

December 27, 2021

 

The normal family is the hand grenade compared to the nuclear bomb of the dysfunctional family

When both are faced with a filial crisis of aging parents being dependent and the adult child needs to take over they cower or explode.

How Do You Know a Dysfunctional Family

1. They lack the ability to resolve conflicts

The dysfunctional family has frequent psycho-social blockages that prevent the family from growing emotionally. They fail miserably at moving through all family stages and orchestrating family rituals.

2. They Cannot make Life transitions

In each dysfunctional family most life transitions in the family, like birth, adolescence, and marriage have been very difficult to make, marked by a lack of support from the parents. Every holiday might be drunkenly be ruined. The parental figures are usually not in charge, nurturing, or able to establish establishes clear rules. They have never created an excel spreadsheet on tasks to do to orchestrate a holiday. Like a disease spreading down generations, they never knew how happily celebrate anything together, as their parents wrecked ritual occasions as well.

3. There are murky roles in the  family family-fight-300x223.jpg

The chief role of the parent is characterized by a lack of leadership of the family and the ability to nurture the children. Mom rarely became the high priestess on Hanukkah or Christmas or any family ritual gathering, the family members generally do not believe the parent is there for them and can be depended upon. The concierge dysfunctional family is colored by bloody strained relationships and unresolved conflicts and ruined ritual memories.

 

4. They inspire great literature

The family is the inspiration for great literature. O’Neil’s wrenching plays A Long Day’s Journey into Night” portray the most miserable of dysfunctional families. Alcohol, drugs, and secrets that have been kept by all for generations splatter the pages of this great play mirroring all the ruined holidays children of dysfunctional families recall with horror.  Prince of Tides a tale of a southern concierge dysfunctional family gives us a timelier glimpse of a family whose center can never hold together and whose blood oozes all over everyone from one generation to the next. Award-winning plays and films, like Tracey Letts August in Osage County about a ruined ritual funeral from hell when Julia Roberts tries to beat up drug-addled, drunk presiding mother Meryl Streep.ed6855aa32d877d7fc1ef9ee757e0f17-98.jpg

 Rituals Bring Out the Worst in this family

In the dysfunctional family when an aging  Mom does not make the very small things she was able to pull off like the Latkes or the Christmas cookies she always made every Hanukkah and Christmas,  or cannot pull off big things like the daughter’s wedding someone has got to be the cook and family organizer, and resentments skyrocket – tempers flare – and the torch just might never get passed.

The family is again thrown into crisis. That means someone in the tribe has to take over -yet the dysfunctional family has no model or spreadsheet for any transition in power. They cannot pull off any ritual celebrations or even family Taco Tuesdays. Most critically when the rudderless head of the family needs care, these adult children cannot care for a parent who did not care for them.

Sign Up for My January Webinar on Working With the Dysfunctional Family

 

 

 

 

11 Clinical Steps to Work with Dysfunctional Families-Post Holidays –

Thursday, January 6, 2021, 2:00-3:30 PM

 

Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday 

Join me 

and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stockings.

 

 

 

 Learn how to:

Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders

 

Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family 

 

Master the 5 Clinical Tools – you need – to solve these problems with your clients

 

 

 

 

 

 

Learn Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families

Sign -Up Now 

 

 

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel                                                                  Geriatric Care 1

Learn more about how to work with the dysfunctional family in Handbook of Geriatric Care Management 5th edition 

 

Filed Under: adult child pain-point, adult child physical abuse, Adult children, Aduly Child Stress, Aging, Aging Family, aging family crisis, aging life business, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Black, Black Aging Family, Black Entrepreneur, Black Entrepreneur RB, Black Entrepreneur RN, Black entrepreneurs, Black Geriatric Care Manager, Black geriatric care managers, Black RN, Black Travel Nurses, Blog, case manager, Cut Off, Dysfunctional Aging Familu, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Families, Geriatric Care Management Business, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Holiday season, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, Holidays, nurse advocate, nurse care manager Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging life care manager, boundaries dysfunctional families, care manager, case manager, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional Holiday, Dysfunctional Concierge Family, dysfuntional family, geriatric care manager, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Long Days Journey Into Night, nurse care manager

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