Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

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4 Dysfunctional Family Markers Clinicians Face

August 2, 2023

 

The normal family is the hand grenade compared to the nuclear bomb of the dysfunctional family

When both are faced with a filial crisis of aging parents being dependent and the adult child needs to take over they cower or explode.

How Do You Know a Dysfunctional Family

1. They lack the ability to resolve conflicts

The dysfunctional family has frequent psycho-social blockages that prevent the family from growing emotionally. They fail miserably at moving through all family stages and orchestrating family rituals. The adult children both love and hate their parents

2. They Cannot make Life transitions

In each dysfunctional family most life transitions in the family, like birth, adolescence, and marriage have been very difficult to make, marked by a lack of support from the parents. Every holiday, family reunion, funeral any family gathering might be drunkenly ruined. The parental figures are usually not in charge, nurturing, or able to establish establishes clear rules. They have never created an Excel spreadsheet on tasks to do to orchestrate a holiday. Like a disease spreading down generations, they never knew how happily celebrate anything together, as their parents wrecked ritual occasions as well.

3. There are murky roles in the  family

 

The chief role of the parent is characterized by a lack of leadership in the family and the ability to nurture the children. Mom rarely became the high priestess at the summer family reunion or the memorial day picnic when everyone gathers at her house or any family ritual gathering. The family members generally do not believe the parent is there for them and can be depended upon. The concierge’s dysfunctional family is colored by bloody strained relationships and unresolved conflicts and ruined ritual memories.

 

4. They inspire great literature

The family is the inspiration for great literature. O’Neil’s wrenching play A Long Day’s Journey into Night” portray the most miserable of dysfunctional families. Alcohol, drugs, and secrets that have been kept by all for generations splatter the pages of this great play mirroring all the ruined family ritual celebrations -children of dysfunctional families recall with horror.  Award-winning plays and films, like Tracey Letts August in Osage County about a ruined ritual funeral from hell when Julia Roberts tries to beat up drug-addled, drunk presiding mother Meryl Streep, or Succession Where a Narcissistic Dad pits his adult children against each other to succeed  him when he dies

ed6855aa32d877d7fc1ef9ee757e0f17-98.jpgRituals Bring Out the Worst in Family

In a dysfunctional family when an aging  Mom does not make the very small things she was able to pull off like the Latkes or the Christmas cookies, the Memorial Day family Reunion or big things like the daughter’s wedding, someone has got to take over or be and family organize or r the successor to Mom, and resentments skyrocket – tempers flare – and the torch just might never get passed.

The family is again thrown into crisis.

That means someone in the tribe has to take over -yet the dysfunctional family has no model or spreadsheet for any transition in power. They cannot pull off any ritual celebrations or even family Taco Tuesdays. Most critically when the rudderless head of the family needs care, these adult children cannot care for a parent who did not care for them. Succession is about the transition of power in the family.

Sign Up for My September Webinar on Working With the Dysfunctional Family

 

 11 Clinical Steps to Work with Dysfunctional Families-

Tuesday, 2:00-3:30 PM

September 16, 2023

 Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday 

Join me 

and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stockings.

Learn how to:

Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders

 

Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family 

 

Master the 5 Clinical Tools – you need – to solve these problems with your clients

 

 

 

 

 

 

Learn Six Steps Professionals Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families

Sign -Up Now 

 

 

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel                                                                  Geriatric Care 1

Learn more about how to work with the dysfunctional family in Handbook of Geriatric Care Management 5th edition 

 

Filed Under: adult child pain-point, adult child physical abuse, Adult children, Aduly Child Stress, Aging, Aging Family, aging family crisis, aging life business, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Black, Black Aging Family, Black Entrepreneur, Black Entrepreneur RB, Black Entrepreneur RN, Black entrepreneurs, Black Geriatric Care Manager, Black geriatric care managers, Black RN, Black Travel Nurses, Blog, case manager, Cut Off, Dysfunctional Aging Familu, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Families, Geriatric Care Management Business, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Holiday season, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, Holidays, nurse advocate, nurse care manager Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging life care manager, boundaries dysfunctional families, care manager, case manager, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional Holiday, Dysfunctional Concierge Family, dysfuntional family, geriatric care manager, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Long Days Journey Into Night, nurse care manager

My New Speakers Bureau-How To Reach Adult Children &Get Free PR

February 22, 2023

Use Speakers Bureau to Find Adult Children of VIP Clients 

Find adult children in your area using Free PR Through a Speaker’s Bureau. Creating a Speakers Bureau is the best way to find worried, sometimes desperate adult children who are wondering how to approach their failing and frail adult parents who are both wealthy and ignore their children’s pleas to get care.

 

 

 

 

Speakers Bureau to Find Adult Children

We have done all these for you in our new Speakers Bureau Package.

To find these adult children you begin  to create a Speaker’s Bureau by creating 6 Hot Topics, like “Handling the Stress of Caregiving”, and “When Siblings are not doing their Share.” ” When a Parent Must Be in a Nursing Home” – “Warning SignsWhenYourParent Needs Care” “When You are Stuck in the Sandwich Generation” and ” Bringing Back Joy Improving Senior’s Quality of Life” We have done all these for you in our new Speakers Bureau Package.

Tasha Beauchamp, an Aging Life Care Webmaster, Research Scientist owner of Elder Pages Online, LLC  had this tip in an ALCA blog  about in-person presentations 

“You provide enough information to demonstrate your expertise, but as someone mentioned already, not enough detail that you are giving away the store.  One way to get an insight into what people are interested in and will attend a speakers Bureau presentation is to look at the top eldercare-related searches on Google compiled by the Pew Internet Project:” according to Tasha Beauchamp, Aging Life Webmaster, and Research Scientist. Beauchamp says  Handling the Stress is Caregiving is at the top of the list as is paying for caregiving, which is included in When Your Parent Needs to be in a Nursing Home.

 

Find adult children who need care management

Get my new Speakers Bureau Package

Marketing care management to family caregivers? Wondering how to use free public relations to locate adult children in your community? Want marketing tools that will grow your business? The new Speakers Bureau Package has it all. Six pre-made presentations with handouts, a 20-minute presentation that covers major pain points and pain relief for adult children and family caregivers that will really engage your audience. The package contains complete directions & power points, and sell sheets to reach local service clubs like the rotary, women’s clubs, EAP, and musical societies drawing from the upper 10% of midlife members always looking for good speakers. Plus, a 30-minute free minute consultation with Cathy Cress MSW, to help set this up.

Find Out More 

Filed Under: Adult children, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, ALCA PR, ALCA Public Relations, Black Entrepreneur RN, Black RN, Black Travel RN, Blog, care management start-up, care manager, Concierge Senior, elder care manager, FREE MARKETING WEBINAR, Free Public Relations, FREE WEBINAR, GCM & FREE PR RADIO, GCM & Radio Interviews, GCM Marketing skills, GCM PR, GCM Webinar, geriatric care management emergency proceduress, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, Marketing aging life care, marketing ALCA /GCM, marketing care management, Marketing copy, marketing geriatric care management, marketing to the top 10$, Marketing to top 10%, marketing to upper 10%, Marketing Tools 2021, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, PR, Public Relations, Rich and Famous Entitled Family, Sales in geriatric care management, Social Media for eldercare, Speaker's Bureau, Webinar Tagged With: aging family, aging life care manager, aging parent care, ALCA marketing, ALCA PR, ALCA Public Relations, black aging family, black american geriatric care managers, black american social workers, Black Entrepreneurs, care manager, care manager marketing, case manager, CRM, GCM Pubic Relations, marketing data base, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Radio Interview, Speakers, Speakers Bureau, Speakers's Bureau, Speaking to Clubs

My New Speakers Bureau-How To Reach Adult Children &Get Free PR

January 31, 2023

Use Speakers Bureau to Find Adult Children of VIP Clients 

Find adult children in your area using Free PR Through a Speaker’s Bureau. Creating a Speakers Bureau is the best way to find worried, sometimes desperate adult children who are wondering how to approach their failing and frail adult parents who are both wealthy and ignore their children’s pleas to get care.

 

 

 

 

Speakers Bureau to Find Adult Children

To find these adult children you begin  to create a Speaker’s Bureau by creating 6 Hot Topics, like “Handling the Stress of Caregiving”, and “When Siblings are not doing their Share.” ” When a Parent Must Be in a Nursing Home” – “Warning SignsWhenYourParent Needs Care” “When You are Stuck in the Sandwich Generation” and ” Bringing Back Joy Improving Senior’s Quality of Life” We have done all these for you in our new Speakers Bureau Package.

Tasha Beauchamp, an Aging Life Care Webmaster, Research Scientist owner of Elder Pages Online, LLC  had this tip in an ALCA blog  about in-person presentations 

“You provide enough information to demonstrate your expertise, but as someone mentioned already, not enough detail that you are giving away the store.  One way to get an insight into what people are interested in and will attend a speakers Bureau presentation is to look at the top eldercare-related searches on Google compiled by the Pew Internet Project:” according to Tasha Beauchamp, Aging Life Webmaster and Research Scientist. Beauchamp says  Handling the Stress is Caregiving is at the top of the list as is paying for caregiving, which is included in When Your Parent Needs to be in a Nursing Home

 

Find adult children who need care management

Get my new Speakers Bureau Package

Marketing care management to family caregivers? Wondering how to use free public relations to locate adult children in your community? Want marketing tools that will grow your business? The new Speakers Bureau Package has it all. Six pre-made presentations with handouts, a 20-minute presentation that covers major pain points and pain relief for adult children and family caregivers that will really engage your audience. The package contains complete directions & power points, and sell sheets to reach local service clubs like the rotary, women’s clubs, EAP, and musical societies drawing from the upper 10% of midlife members always looking for good speakers. Plus, a 30-minute free minute consultation with Cathy Cress MSW, to help set this up.

Find Out More 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Adult children, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, ALCA PR, ALCA Public Relations, Black Entrepreneur RN, Black RN, Black Travel RN, Blog, care management start-up, care manager, Concierge Senior, elder care manager, FREE MARKETING WEBINAR, Free Public Relations, FREE WEBINAR, GCM & FREE PR RADIO, GCM & Radio Interviews, GCM Marketing skills, GCM PR, GCM Webinar, geriatric care management emergency proceduress, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, Marketing aging life care, marketing ALCA /GCM, marketing care management, Marketing copy, marketing geriatric care management, marketing to the top 10$, Marketing to top 10%, marketing to upper 10%, Marketing Tools 2021, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, PR, Public Relations, Rich and Famous Entitled Family, Sales in geriatric care management, Social Media for eldercare, Speaker's Bureau, Webinar Tagged With: aging family, aging life care manager, aging parent care, ALCA marketing, ALCA PR, ALCA Public Relations, black aging family, black american geriatric care managers, black american social workers, Black Entrepreneurs, care manager, care manager marketing, case manager, CRM, GCM Pubic Relations, marketing data base, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Radio Interview, Speakers, Speakers Bureau, Speakers's Bureau, Speaking to Clubs

How to Help Avoid a Cat and Dog fight Among the Dysfunctional Family On Holidays

November 1, 2022

cat-dog-fight.jpg

Sparring Cats and Dogs AKA Siblings

Learn how to calm the chaos of the dysfunctional family on the holiday.  During the coming holiday season, especially after some liquid cheer, sour step-parents, angry step-siblings, and mid-life adult kids who grew -up in a dysfunctional family can spin into sparring cats and dogs with teeth bared at Thanksgiving Hannaka, Christmas dinner. Sign -up for my  holiday webinar

 Why Their Stocking is Full of Coal

As if COVID has not made the holidays hard enough for family gatherings, the ordinary

 

aging processes are made far tougher when a family has a history of dysfunction. The holidays are red meat for a dysfunctional family. Aging professionals, like geriatric care managers, have their greatest challenges in working with these “difficult” families.

Dysfunctional families are not able to organize themselves

Dysfunctional Familiy on the holidays

They effectively face gut-wrenching eldercare challenges and crises. These families are under more stress as they move from long-established roles into uncharted territory. the dysfunctional family on holidays like Thanksgiving can face an emotional detonation then an explosion with siblings laying into each other not the turkey.

 Why Cut-OFF Ruins the Celebration 4The Dysfunctional family on holidays

The dysfunctional family on the holidays faces shunning or cutoff. What if adult kids “ cut off” their Dad years ago and now he had a severe stroke- what do they do when caught between I hate you and now I love you. One sibling has taken over Mom or Dad’s care and her/his dysfunctional midlife adult siblings just don’t want her to do this. It only takes a few drinks at dinner  and snarky remarks start a fracas that leads to cut-off, which leads to them not sharing in Mom’s care, overloading the sibling caregiver, and endangering Mom’s care, through this shunning.

 

Now that the holidays are soon arriving – they have the same attitude about attending the family Thanksgiving dinner.

 

 

Dysfunctional family on holidays

SIGN UP FOR MY FREE HOLIDAY WEBINAR –

 

WEDNESDAY, November 16th, 2022, FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST

 Learn how to create marketing to alert adult children you are there

  • Pre-Holiday Social media campaigns to reach worried caregivers
  • Pre- Holiday-Materials about the warning signs that a parent needs help
  • Pre-Holiday e-newsletters, podcasts, speakers bureau, blogs-to market

Learn clinical skills to covert and tools to serve frantic adult children and their declining, resistant parents and the dysfunctional family on the holiday

  • How to sell services to desperate post-holiday callers from Normal dysfunctional & long-distance family
  • How to use tools to contain sibling holiday chaos & arrange care in festive family fright
  • How to move the family to New Year’s stability
  • Position Your Agency ahead of Care Managers who do not have great pre-holiday marketing campaigns and lack the clinical skills how to work with the dysfunctional family or nearly normal family during the holidays
  • Featuring

 Cathy Cress MSW author of the Handbook of Geriatric Care

Management        

 

 

  • Dysfunctional family on holidays

 

 

SIGN UP FOR MY FREE HOLIDAY WEBINAR –

 

 

 

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

 

 

Filed Under: ADULT SIBling, Aging, aging family crisis, aging life business, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging therapist, black care manager, black concieirge nurse, black concierge care manager, black concierge RN, Black Entrepreneur RN, Black Geriatric Care Manager, Blog, Care Management Inquiry Call, care manager, case manager, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, elder care manager, estranged siblings, Families, GCM Sales, Geriatric Care Management Business, geriatric care manager, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Holiday Rush Technology, Holiday season, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, Holiday Social Media, Holiday Webinar, Holidays, inquiry call, Long Distance Care, Long Distance Care Holidays, Long distance caregiver, Marketing during Holidays, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, POST HOLIDAY CALLS, POST HOLIDAY SEASON, SIBLING, sibling rivalry, Sibling Strife Holidays, Sibling Strife Thanksgiving, Siblings, Social Media Holidays, social media marketing, technology for long distance care, Telehealth with GCM, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving & dysfunctional family, Thanksgiving and COVID, THANKSGIVING BLOG, Thanksgiving Parent crisis, Thanksgiving Safe Visits to Grandma, Therapist Specializing in Aging, Webinar Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging family, aging life care manager, aging life care on holidays, aging parent care, aging parent Thanksgiving, alcohol on the holidays, black aging family, black american geriatric care managers, black american social workers, Black Entrepreneurs, Black geriatric care managers, Black Nurse Entrepreneurs, Black start-up geriatric care management, Black travel nurses, care manager, case manager, COVID THANKSGIVING VISIT, danger signs for holiday visit, drunken holiday, dysfunctional family on the holiday, dysfuntional family, Dysfuntional family on holidays, GRANDMA VISIT THANKSGIVING, Holiday sibling rivalry, Holidays Crisis in aging family, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, post holiday parent care, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving Webinar, Thanksgiving with dysfunctional family, Thanksgiving with midlife siblings

Are You Ready for Thanksgiving Calls From Stressed Long Distance Caregivers ?

October 27, 2022

 

Long Distance Caregivers stressed by distance

Long Distance Caregivers Stressed by Distance

Stressed Long Distance Caregiver

Stressed long-distance caregivers are getting ready for holiday travel. So care managers -get ready for the holiday rush -when these long-distance caregivers call you. Many have often been flying or driving to both visit and care for aging family members for a while and have been exhausted for a long time. These usually understand that their parents are deteriorating with age and are savvy enough to have researched options and already found you on the web ( a reason to have a great website).

 

 

The Holiday Push Over The Edge

Stressed Long Distance caregiver

When Long distance family gathers with aging parents on Thanksgiving and everyone sees problems with an older person- the long-distance family may agree to call for help.  The brutal stress of the holiday season on top of caring for an aging parent long-distance may push the long-distance care providers over the edge to join the Holiday Rush for care and call you. Are you ready for that holiday rush??

Signs That a Parent Needs Care

Unpaid bills litter Dad’s desk. He refuses to go to church when he was a devoted churchgoer all his life.

Stressed  Long Distance caregiver

He’s drinking too much at the local pub. When the daughter puts the post-turkey leftovers in the refrigerator she finds moldy food on every shelf. When asked about the bills and the moldy food, Dad gets really angry at them when he was an easygoing guy all his life. This is the holiday push where they pick up the phone and scream  911 to a care manager.

Call made to 911- to the GCM from stressed long-distance providers

Stressed Long Distance caregiver

 

At that point, the daughter may feel panicked by holiday push and pull out her phone and call an aging life or geriatric care manager because she cannot fly home without getting help. Are you ready for these desperate calls you will be in this holiday rush?

You -Care Manager Gets Call  From Stressed long distance care providers- Are You Ready?

Give frantic adult children hope when they frantically call this holiday.

So be prepared for their inquiry and know the needs of long-distance caregivers plus the resources in your area you can use in this holiday rush with long-distance caregivers when they call you. Do not give away the store in your call but let

 

them know that you are an expert in the needs of long-distance care providers and an ace navigator in your area that can find services and choices that are perfect to end their holiday pu

SIGN UP FOR MY HOLIDAY WEBINAR –

 

Get Ready for the Holiday Rush

WEDNESDAY, November 16th, 2022, FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST

 Learn how to create!

  • Pre-Holiday Social media campaigns to reach worried caregivers
  • Pre- Holiday-Materials about the warning signs that a parent needs help
  • Pre-Holiday Marketing to help you sign up families who might face a serious decline in aging parents
    Get ready for the holiday rush

  • How to sell services to desperate post-holiday callers from Normal dysfunctional & long-distance family
  • How to use tools to contain holiday chaos & arrange care in festive family fright
  • How to move the family to New Year’s stability
  • Position Your Agency ahead of Care Managers who do not have great pre-holiday marketing campaigns and lack the clinical skills how to work with Adult Children and families during the chaotic aging family holiday visit when adult kids find their aging parents need care
  • Featuring

 Cathy Cress MSW author of the Handbook of Geriatric Care

Management        

 

  • Find Out More 

  • Featuring Speaker

 Cathy Cress MSW author of the Handbook of Geriatric Care Management        

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

 

SIGN UP FOR MY NEWEST WEBINAR. 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Aging, Aging Family, aging life care manager, Blog, care manager, Covid Holiday Remote Visit, COVID Webinar, COVID-19 & Care Management, Covid-19 and GCM SERVICES, COVID-19 Webinar, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Families, Geriatric Care Management Business, geriatric care manager, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Holiday season, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, Holidays, HolidaySeason and COVID, Long Distance Care, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving & dysfunctional family, Thanksgiving and COVID, Thanksgiving Parent crisis, Thanksgiving Safe Visits to Grandma, Thanksgving visits during COVID Tagged With: aging family Thanksgiving, aging life care manager, aging life inquiry, aging life or geriatric care manager, care manager, case manager, check list for holiday visit, COVID Driving to Thanksgiving, COVID THANKSGIVING VISIT, COVID VIRTUAL THANKSGIVING VISIT, geriatric care manager, long distance care provider, long distance family on holiday, nurse care manager, Thanksgiving COVID Travel, Thanksgiving with dysfunctional family

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