Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

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How Can Someone with Dementia Have a Better Quality of Life on a Holiday ?

April 2, 2021

 

Reminiscence and Story Telling

 

This Easter holiday is the perfect occasion to engage elders with dementia. The role of storytelling and reminiscence is very important for elders, as they look back on their life and holidays bring strong long-term memories. It gives them a chance to socialize as they tell their story. It also means someone usually listens or documents. That magically gives the elder social interaction and connectedness. So many Easter rituals can prompt stories for elders with some level of dementia. The ritual of dying easter eggs, finding easter baskets on Easter morning, dressing up for the local Easter Parade, eating ritual foods at Easter dinner or at Easter Brunch. Whether the older person is actually participating or watching, these rituals can prompt stories from their long-term memory.

 

Elders sharing stories means passing on history.

This gives the older person a chance to give the larger picture of their life and family history to children and grandchildren or extended family, who may have not heard all the details of their grandparents or parents’ life before- what they cooked, what they did on holidays like Easter. So the quality of the older person of both the older person and the aging family is increased through oral history and reminiscence

The aging professional can suggest family or friends just sitting down and prompting a story or oral history using  technology like your phone

Even elders with Alzheimer’s can find new joy with Reminiscence

When an elderly person develops Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia, the short-term memory is frequently affected but long-term memories can remain as intact and vivid as they have always been during the course of the patient’s life. As a result, a family can use a practice called reminiscence therapy to help combat the frustration, confusion, and depression that can often accompany dementia and even bring joy to the older person

What is reminiscence therapy?

 Reminiscence therapy is like a therapy session where the elderly person will spend time recalling memories of his or her life, perhaps telling stories about things that happened and events the person can recall.

Sometimes senior experts or family members can use photos, familiar objects, or other such things to help jog the memory of the patient. Some therapists and family members can a scrapbook of a person’s life, including photos, letters, and other such personal memorabilia. This becomes a visual biography of the patient’s life and helps the older person remember who he or she is.

How does this quality of life therapy help? Almost all elderly men and women can start feeling discouraged and frustrated with their memory issues. Reminiscence can give peace and acceptance of the current situation by helping the person remember that he or she has had a good and full life. It also prompts communication skills of elderly people who otherwise may not feel very compelled to open up and share anything with anyone else.

Dementia and Reminiscence of Easter

So this Easter holiday try reminiscence. People with dementia can receive a richer quality of life when people actually listen to them. They feel as their thoughts and feelings actually matter. For anyone who has an elderly loved one suffering from dementia, this benefit alone can make reminiscence therapy a form of joy for a very confused elder. So when you dye Easter eggs, create easter baskets, do an Easter egg hunt, serve an Easter brunch or dinner, get them involved, let them watch, allow them to help if possible, serve them ritual food or to taste it and ask when how they experienced these rituals, when they were young. If you have old albums of pictures from their childhood of them at Easter, look and the photos with them. Then listen.

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YouTube channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaoHdozwS0RvKD

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YouTube channel:  Website: https://cathycress.com/

 

Blog: https://www.cathycress.com/blog/

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Twitter: https://twitter.com/cathyjocress

Email: cressgcm@got.net

 

 

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Filed Under: Adult children, Aging, Aging Family, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Dementia, Dementia & Holidays, Easter, Easter and Reminiscence, Easter Rituals, Emotional Quality of Life, Families, GCM Working With Aging Family, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric care manager, Good Death, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Quality of Life on Easter Holiday, Quality of Life with Dementia, Reminiscence Therapy, Spiritual Quality of Life Tagged With: aging family, aging parent, aging parent care, aging technology, ancrestory.com, assessing for quality of life, care plan, care plan interventions, family caregivers, Family Caregivers using technology, flip video, genealogy, geriatric care management, geriatric care manager, geritaric care manager, grandfather, grandmothers, grandparents, increasing quality of life, LCSW, oral history, oral history and quality of life, oral history and You Tube, parent care, Quality of Life, quality of life assessment, reminicence and elder, Reminiscence and 4th of Jul;y, Reminiscence and Dementia, Reminiscence on the Holidays, storytelling and elders, technology for caregivers, You Tube, You Tube and storytelling

Warning Sign #2 You are Working With an Aging Dysfunctional Family

January 18, 2021

Dysfunctional Families and Anger – physical anger, emotional abuse, financial abuse

Fiscal and emotional abuse are the red blinking second signs of the dysfunctional aging family. Anger occurs normally in all families. However, in dysfunctional families, anger may take the form of repeated physical or

emotional abuse. This happens not only in one generation but passed on to the next and perhaps all subsequent generations. Adult children are often getting even with their aging parents for being neglectful, perhaps physically abusive parents when these angry adult children were kids.

Fiscal abuse is a ” sleeper” form of abuse,  yet a pernicious aging family problem. Adult children committed a whopping 40% of the abuse. Other family members were the next big thief’s investigated. The coming holidays create jaw-clenching stress on adult children who visit and finally see their parents decline. This means they need to care for them, which they have no idea how to do. Part of that comes from- they were never cared for as kids themselves. The holidays can be saved for a dysfunctional family, by care managers. Care managers can help them avoid abuse and support them to get the care they need for their aging parents who neglected them as children. 

Financial Advisors Can be Thieves Too

President Obama’s administration attempted to protect investors, who are often people trying to plan their retirement. The so-called fiduciary rule would have required financial advisers working with retirement accounts to put the interests of their clients ahead of their own—

The Trump administration, aiding and abetting in this theft, “blocked this rule and continues to block many retiring and aging client interests – putting them second and financial advisors interest (or ) profit first. This rule was supposed to go into effect on January 1, 2018, but was blocked again by the Trump Administration.

The securities industry received an early Christmas present from Trump’s outgoing Administration when the White House hastily cleared the way for the Department of Labor to lower the standard of care of investment advice fiduciaries, and this represents a dramatic and unprecedented reversal of the intent of Congress in enacting ERISA. The Public Investors Advocate Bar Association stated that “Workers and retirees deserve far better. They deserve to have their retirement savings protected, and they should be able to rely on those they have gone to for investment advice.”

Sign Up for My Free January Webinar  

5 Vital Clinical Tools to Help Aging Dysfunctional Families-Post Horrid Holidays- 

             Thursday, January 21, 2021

  Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday  

 Join me and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stocking.      

Learn how to!

  • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
  • Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family
  • Master Vital Clinical Tools, you to solve client problems
  • Take Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families
  • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

 SIGN UP NOW

 

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

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Find out more in my YouTube channel Geriatric Care 1

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: adult child physical abuse, Adult children, adult emotional abuse, Aging, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging therapist, care manager, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, elder abuse, elder care manager, elder fiscal abuse, fiscal abuse, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Long Distance Care, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving Parent crisis, Therapist Specializing in Aging Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging family Christmas, aging family crisis, aging family Hanakkah, aging family Thanksgiving, aging life and geraitric care manager, Aging Life Care Association, elder, elder abuse by family members, elder fiscal abuse, therapists aging families

Why Do Adult Children Hate and Love Parents in Aging Dysfunctional Family?

January 11, 2021

ed6855aa32d877d7fc1ef9ee757e0f17-98.jpg

The aging dysfunctional family takes an expert to tackle because violence can break out at any time. In the film version of Tracy Letts  August in Osage County. Julia Roberts (the eldest daughter) attacks Meryl Streep (the pill-popping aging mother) at a ritual family gathering- the elder Dad’s funeral after he commits suicide.

 In the dysfunctional family, there have been symptoms of problems such as alcohol abuse, drug abuse, child abuse, or emotional abuse, like the demeaning mother the character Meryl Streep plays in August in Osage County. These dysfunctions usually create barriers to nurturing and this affects everyone in the family system.

The family system is also marked by ambivalence and all adults and children live in a love-hate relationship with other family members. (Julia Roberts character and all the daughter both love and revile their mother ).

 As systems resist change, it is even more difficult for members of the dysfunctional family to move to make changes when their parent needs care, like Meryl Streep does in August in Osage County. Julia Roberts and none of the daughters will care for their despised mother.

 The nearly normal system is shaken to its core by the parent being dependent. However, a care manager can guide the family members into reorganizing their family roles when the parent can no longer act as head of the family, while acknowledging the shift and changes they need to make both emotionally and practically. 

The members of the dysfunctional family who may have experienced a lack of nurturing by their parent and have no role model of caring. They are angry and resentful at caring for the parent, and thus will find it difficult to provide the practical and emotional care that their aging parent needs. The challenge to the adult child of the dysfunctional family is how to meet the dependency needs of the here and now old-old parent when the parent did not meet them dependency needs as a child.  That is why they need a highly experienced Geriatric Care Manager who can work with dysfunctional aging families.

 The challenge to the care manager is to bring the adult child of the dysfunctional family into the here and now and see their parents for who they are- an aging dependent person, flawed and imperfect, but a human being who needs their love, support and nurturing.

 

 

Sign Up for My Free January Webinar  

             Thursday, January 21, 2021

  Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday  

 Join me and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stocking.      

Learn how to!

  • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
  • Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family
  • Master Vital Clinical Tools you to solve client problems
  • Take Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families
  • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

 SIGN UP NOW

 

 

Find out more on my YouTube Channel:  Geriatric Care 1 

 

 

 

Filed Under: adult child physical abuse, adult emotional abuse, Aging, aging family crisis, aging family system, aging life business, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging Mother, Aging therapist, Blog, Dysfunctional Aging Familu, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Dysfunctional Family Inquiry, Dysfunctional Family System, estranged siblings, Families, fiscal abuse, Fiscal Elder Abuse, GCM Webinar, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Long Distance Care, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, POST HOLIDAY CALLS, Siblings, Sign Up Dysfunctional Aging Family, Webinar, Webinar ALCA GCM Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging life and geriatric care management, aging life care management, aging life care manager, aging parent, aging parent crisis, care manager, caregiver assessment, case manager, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional Holiday, dysfunctional aging family, geriatric care manager, Holidays with midlife siblings, nurse care manager, Tools with Dysfunctional families, Violence Dysfunctional Family, Working With Dysfunctional family

4 Dysfunctional Family Markers Clinicians Can Face In New Years

January 5, 2021

 

The normal family is the hand grenade compared to the nuclear bomb of the dysfunctional family

When both are faced with a filial crisis of aging parents being dependent and the adult child needs to take over they cower or explode.

How Do You Know a Dysfunctional Family

1. They lack the ability to resolve conflicts

They have frequent psycho-social blockages that prevent the family from growing emotionally. They fail miserably at moving through all family stages and orchestrating family rituals.

2. They Cannot make Life transitions

Most life transitions in the family, like birth, adolescence, and marriage have been very difficult to make, marked by a lack of support from the parents. Every holiday might be drunkenly be ruined. The parental figures are usually not in charge, nurturing, or able to establish establishes clear rules. They have never created an excel spreadsheet on tasks to do to orchestrate a holiday. Like a disease spreading down generations, they never knew how happily celebrate anything together, as their parents wrecked ritual occasions as well.

3. There are murky roles in the  family family-fight-300x223.jpg

The chief role of the parent characterized by a lack of leadership of the family and the ability to nurture the children. Mom rarely became the high priestess on Hanukkah or Christmas or any family ritual gathering, the family members generally do not believe the parent is there for them and can be depended upon. The dysfunctional family is colored by bloody strained relationships and unresolved conflicts and  ruined ritual memories.

 

4. They inspire great literature

The family is the inspiration for great literature. O’Neil’s wrenching plays A Long Day’s Journey into Night”  portrays the most miserable of dysfunctional families. Alcohol, drugs, and secrets that have been kept by all for generations splatter the pages of this great play mirroring all the ruined holidays’ children of dysfunctional families recall with horror.  Prince of Tides a tale of a southern dysfunctional family gives us a timelier glimpse of a family whose center can never hold together and whose blood oozes all over everyone from one generation to the next. Award-winning plays and films, like Tracey Letts August in Osage County about a ruined ritual funeral from hell when Julia Roberts tries to beat up drug-addled, drunk presiding mother Meryl Streep.ed6855aa32d877d7fc1ef9ee757e0f17-98.jpg

Rituals Bring Out the Worst in this family

When an aging  Mom does not make the very small things she was able to pull off like the Latkes or the Christmas cookies she always made every Hanukkah and Christmas,  or cannot pull off big things like the daughter’s wedding someone has got to be the cook and family organizer, and resentments skyrocket – tempers flare – and the torch just might never get passed.

The family is again thrown into crisis. That means someone in the tribe has to take over -yet the dysfunctional family has no model or spreadsheet for any transition in power. They cannot pull off any ritual celebrations or even family Taco Tuesdays. Most critically when the rudderless head of the family needs care, these adult children cannot care for a parent who did not care for them.

Sign Up for My Free January Webinar  

5 Vital Clinical Tools to Help Aging Dysfunctional Families-Post Horrid Holidays– 

             Thursday, January 21, 2021

              2:00-3:30 PM Pacific Standard Time

  Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday  

 Join me and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stocking.      

Learn how to!

  • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
  • Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family
  • Master Vital Clinical Tools, you to solve client problems
  • Take Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families
  • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

 SIGN UP NOW

 

 

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

Learn more about how to work with the dysfunctional family in Handbook of Geriatric Care Management 4th edition 

 

Filed Under: Aging, Aging Family, aging family crisis, aging life business, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Blog, case manager, Cut Off, Dysfunctional Aging Familu, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Families, Geriatric Care Management Business, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Holiday season, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, Holidays, nurse advocate, nurse care manager Tagged With: aging life care manager, care manager, case manager, geriatric care manager, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Long Days Journey Into Night, nurse care manager

10 Alarm Bells to Give ” Just Shopping” Long Distance Callers Before Holiday

December 24, 2020

 

You will be Showered With Calls Over the Holidays

Long-distance family members from nearly normal or dysfunctional families will call you frantically from now on. 

Why?

It’s almost  Christmas, Hanukkah and Thanksgiving just passed but they could not see their older parents because of the COVID Risk.

They are having to manage their over 65 Mom and Dad’s Shelter in place from afar plus oversee their own families risk plus their own COVID laden holiday. These long-distance family caregivers were already reaching

burnout from constant pre-COVID travel and caring on top of their own work-life demands.

They are reaching implosion so they are going to call you.

Test to Give the Burnt Out Caregiver Calls FOR Information Before the Holidays

If they call for information before the holiday and are not ready to move forward, you can proactively offer them questions from this list of alarm bells that they can answer now or they can monitor during now and New Year holiday that could trigger engaging your services after they compare notes on a post-holiday call with you.

Below is a list of red flags. If they see any red signals on Thanksgiving, Hanukkah,

remotely or in-person if they take the very dangerous risk of travel on Christmas-encourage them that is the time to do something about it by hiring you as a care manager. You can question them with this  a checklist of worrisome  signs that signal the need for a local geriatric care manager,

 

Alarm Bells List – Dealing with Long Distance Aging Relatives  Before or During the Holidays

  • Unpaid bills if long-distance family members monitor bill pay from afar
  • Missed appointments with their physicians that  long-distance care provider monitor with their doctors
  • Clutter reported by neighbors, friends local senior agencies a home that was once always neat
  • Weight loss reported by the aging parents Dr’s or local visitors
  • Memory loss, change in short-term memory when they zoom, call facetime, etc.
  • Poor grooming for a person who was once meticulously, observed by local visitors friends senior agencies food delivery who visit.
  • Reports of getting lost
  • Reports of wandering
  • Refusing to go to holiday  religious services with friends or church transportation  to holiday religious services
  • refusing any suggestion or conversely agreeing to everything with-out consideration
  • Mood swings, getting angry when normally easy going
  • Refusing to go to medical providers
  • Not taking care of activities of daily living: cooking, bathing, dressing, housekeeping, etc.
  • Entering contests, credit card maxed out on shopping channels
  •  Set up a meeting when the holidays end. You have helped them proactively, begin to engage your services.

    Sign Up for My Free January Webinar  

    5 Vital Clinical Tools to Help Aging Dysfunctional Families-Post Horrid Holidays- 

                 Thursday, January 21, 2021

      Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday  

     Join me and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stocking.      

    Learn how to!

    • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
    • Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family
    • Master Vital Clinical Tools, you to solve client problems
    • Take Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families
    • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

     SIGN UP NOW

     

     

    Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care

Filed Under: Aging, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Alarm Bells For Long Distance Family, Blog, caregiver burnout, caregiver mental health, Close The Sale, Closing a GCM Sale, Families, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Holiday season, HolidaySeason and COVID, Long Distance Care, Long Distance Care & COVID-19, Long distance caregiver, long distance caregiver burnout, Long distance family impostion, Long Distance Safety Travel COVID, Long Distance travel Holidays, Long Term Care Coverage, nurse advocate, nurse care manager Tagged With: aging life care manager, care manager, case manager, eldercare manager, geriatric care manager, holiday burn out, Holidays calls to GCM's, long distance care provider, Long distance family burn out, nurse care manager, patient advocate

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