Adult children usually see their elderly parents soon on Christmas, Hanukkah, and Thanksgiving- all major holidays.
The Holiday Season is upon us. Thanksgiving, Hannukkah, and Christmas are all coming up when families gather around ritual gatherings. Adult children can notice their aging parents’ struggling with memory, and speech, and preparing those ritual meals. Then midlife siblings may be alarmed by any behaviors that threaten the normal order they always experienced.
When The Holiday Season is upon us ,the discussion will turn to aging parents. Thanksgiving usually involves alcohol. With a normal family, discussing this when alcohol is involved may or may not be a good idea. In an aging long-distance family, this would be the time to set up a family meeting via teleconference or Skype when everyone is sober. You could just ask everyone if would gather ideas and you can discuss it at that time.
With elderly parent’s decline- everyone’s independence is threatened and anger and frustration can be rampant.
If adult siblings did make a visit to elderly parents before Thanksgiving, it could have been bitter or sweet or it was just plain scary. This is why it is best to set up a post-thanksgiving meeting with all the siblings to discuss care, not when people are drinking more than they should on Thanksgiving.
Adult children may decide they must intercede or offer direct help, even if it is rejected. Then family members who do not live nearby become long-distance care providers, joining 7 million others in the US.
Offer to Facilitate a Telephonic Family Meeting After Thanksgiving
The frightening part often happens when you haven’t seen an aging Mom or Dad for a while. If midlife siblings live long distance, making an occasional visit can set off alarms, especially if they find aging Mom or Dad has gone downhill. If they call you, offer to facilitate the call using your family meeting facilitation skills, to create an agenda with the family, and keep everyone on the topic of parental care in the here and now, rather than fracturing into an argument about the past or old family wounds. With a care manager as a facilitator, they will find your value.
SIGN UP FOR MY HOLIDAY WEBINAR –
Get Ready for the Holiday Rush
WEDNESDAY, November 16th, 2022, FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST
Learn how to create!
- Pre-Holiday Social media campaigns to reach worried caregivers
- Pre- Holiday-Materials about the warning signs that a parent needs help
- Pre-Holiday Marketing to help you sign up families who might face a serious decline in aging parents
- How to sell services to desperate post-holiday callers from Normal dysfunctional & long-distance family
- How to use tools to contain holiday chaos & arrange care in festive family fright
- How to move the family to New Year’s stability
- Position Your Agency ahead of Care Managers who do not have great pre-holiday marketing campaigns and lack the clinical skills how to work with Adult Children and families during the chaotic aging family holiday visit when adult kids find their aging parents need care
Cathy Cress MSW author of the Handbook of Geriatric Care
Find out more about how an Aging Life or Geriatric Care Manager can help.
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