3 Types of Dysfunctional Adult Children Call You After Holidays When you Need Clinical Skills to Work with these Callers

# 1 Inquiry from Narcissistic Adult Child in Dysfunctional Family

– The narcissistic adult child from the aging dysfunctional family who calls for help has an “it’s all about me” attitude. The aging parent and or a midlife sibling. could be narcissists. With aging parents, all siblings may have resented this self-absorption their entire lives and have a love/hate relationship with older moms or dads. With siblings, the other brothers and sisters resent this, especially with parent care. The self-absorbed sibling either does not participate in solving sibling or aging family troubles but just makes them worse. They call after the disastrous holiday season and you need clinical skills to work with them

#2 Inquiry from Devalued Child Entitled but Servile Adult.

The devalued adult child from the aging dysfunctional family calls you after the holidays you need clinical skills to work with them.

As a kid, the adult child of a narcissist parent was devalued in the parent’s eyes so that the now aging parent can feel superior and powerful in the world. These children mature into adults who are emotionally impoverished, inflexible, and needy.

As a geriatric care manager, the adult child presents as entitled. As clients, these adult children fear that unless they make inflexible demands, they will receive nothing. “ Get my mother into a concierge wing of a hospital by tomorrow”

An adult child of a narcissistic aging parent will present as nasty, aggressive, and devaluing of the service provider. Or they could be essentially insatiable and easily injured by the helping professional. The adult children of narcissistic entitled families are also often angry and frustrated at having to give care to a parent or parents whom they experienced as ungiving, demanding, intrusive, overpowering, and needy. They are members of an ultra dysfunctional aging family. They call after the holiday and you need clinical skills to work with them

# 3-Inquiry from needy adult children in the dysfunctional aging family

The adult child who calls may be the needy adult child. Baby boomers must evolve beyond the needy child he or she has been, depending on aging parents fiscal,

emotional, and social support, to the adult who supports his parent. Adult Children of aging parents in the 21st century not only confront the delay of their own needs when their parent’s aging and reliance call them but confront their own future and very much more immediate loss of the central figure in their lives, their own parents.

Some don’t- especially in the dysfunctional aging family.

These adults feel starved for parental affection they never received and often seek affection from professionals and other people in their lives to compensate for the care they didn’t receive as children. They call after the holiday and you need clinical skills to work with them.

These 3 types of adult children have clinical difficulties that are coping and defense mechanisms allowing them to adapt to a dysfunctional family. The care manager must enter the family system clinically to address the needs symptoms and defenses of the adult children to get care for the elder.

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The recovery phase of death and dying

This occurs when people finally are able to cope with the mental, social, physical, religious, and financial effects of their disease, a heavy load In the disease process and acceptance process, this is the period of time after a medical procedure such as chemotherapy, radiation or surgery. The client’s response to treatment is being monitored. Recovery does not always mean remission, but instead, it is the ability to accept and deal with the struggles of their illness

A Story About the recovery phase

William died at the home of his son after he had accepted that he was to die of liver failure. He was hospitalized and had not signed a Do Not Resuscitate because he actually did want everything done to save him. He had new twin grandsons a grandaughter he adored and loved life. He was having dialysis to treat his symptoms. A care manager knew that the doctors suspected cancer but believed the procedure to find out would kill him. But they felt their hands were tied by the DNR and the hypocritic oath. The care manager, finally, after talking to a nun on the staff of the Catholic hospital who said she would help, and talked to the lead physician and asked that he order palliative care. He did and all 4 physicians talked to Bill gently and about removing the dialysis and signing a DNR. He did and after a family meeting lead by palliative care and hospice, William came home with 24-hour care.

The Recovery Phase Begins

After his coming to terms with his death, he and his family, sons, and grandchildren were able to say the goodbyes and offer the unconditional love that they had been fearful to express before his acceptance. A feeling of light joy permeated his room. For almost a month he lived in the family room overlooking the garden, where his hospital bed was set up. Great-grandchildren brought pictures, marveled at “grandpa grandpa “ high up in a hospital bed. His son put a headphone with a mike on and William could hear and speak, as he had not in years. His 24-hour caregivers were gifted loving care providers from a GCM agency Livhome.

Home Care and Care Management in End of Life

The 24-hour shifts included a nurse of 18 years from Central America and a man finishing his Ph.D. from the Congo. They cared for him with great warmth, so his family could just be his family, relaxing in their love and surrounding him, as if in a circle, that swirled with 4 generations, going every which way while he watched, really loved, and melted into his last stage. They ate meals, chitchatted, and welcomed new family coming in to see William, as he remained in the center in his hospital bed, the fulcrum of the gathering.

End of Life Geriatric Care Management Well Done

The geriatric care manager, GCM Mary Brennan, from Livhome, a seasoned powerful and so kind LCSW, was an orchestra leader in Bill’s death. She adjusted here and there, with care providers, family needs, Bill’s needs, and followed the guidance of hospice, who were slowly increasing the pain meds, and supporting his health and medical care needs in death. The geriatric care management agency worked as a partner supplying 24 care and support for the family.

Bill was able to have again, a magical care provider from Livhome, who had been with him for almost two years and was there at the end as were all his sons – a life fully lived and a good, good death.

You are only as strong as your weakest link- those are the care providers.

These people were the raft that floated bill up while the family, offered love and hospice provided medical and end of life support. Together they buoyed Bill into his last stage of dying, knowing that his family was the fabric of every step he took toward forward towards death.

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In this 1 ½ -hour webinar you will learn how to

1.Transition the patient/family through the five stages of death

2.Help clients be active participants in their care

3.Give the family/caregiver tools to manage their care

4.Provide family center care to caregiver and family

5.Choose the right support services through all stages of death

6.Introduce Hospice and Palliative care and work with their team

7.Use ALCA End of Life Benefits During COVID.

8.Use COVID -19 Family Coaching for GCM

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What is the GCM’s Role is the Recovery Phase of Death and Dying ?