Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

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Ten Warning Signs That You Are Working With in a Dysfunctional Family

January 16, 2021

Warning Signs of Aging Dysfunctional Family – Contentiouness, Anger, and Cut Off

Do you know the 10  clinical manifestations that you are working with the dysfunctional family, the most challenging job of an aging professional. What you have to know is family system theory and be clinically skilled in entering this treacherous family system – to get care for an older person

1. Contentiousness – Old fights erupt; the siblings and parent get into arguments with one another about an old issue

2. Anger – Siblings and family members express physical anger, emotional abuse, financial abuse

 

 

3. Distancing & cut off – Some siblings or parents have nothing to do with family and may not speak to parents or siblings for long periods of time.

Warning Signs of Aging Dysfunctional Family – Fusion, Denial, Triangulation, Entitlement

4. Fusion – Siblings and family members, such as the mother and eldest daughter, blend into one another, For example, the daughter’s sounds, acts, and has the same prejudices as the mother. . Think of the media’s portrayal of Lindsay Lohan and her mother.

5. Denial – Adult siblings do not see a decline in a parent, do not face reality, and do not take care of the parent if he or she needs care.

6. Triangulation – Tension between two family members or siblings causes one to enlist a third family member or sibling to avoid change For example, two adult sibling object to the cost of care of an aging parent. They gang up on the third adult sibling who thinks the cost of care is reasonable and justified.

7. Sense of Entitlement – Siblings who are accustomed to purchasing services they need not personally solving their own, children’s sibling or parents’ problems. This lack of engagement leaves them, unprepared and unwilling in getting involved in solving family tribulations.

Warning Signs of Aging Dysfunctional Family – Narcissism, Needy Adult Siblings, Substance Abuse and Cut Off

8. Narcissism – One or more siblings has an “it’s all about me” attitude and

other siblings resent this. The self-absorbed sibling either does not participate

9. Needy Adult Siblings – These adult siblings feel starved for affection and often seek affection from professionals and other people in their lives for compensation for the care they didn’t receive as children.

10 . Substance and Other Abuse – The family and siblings have a history of drug, alcohol, and/or child abuse.

If this fits you you and your aging parent needs care may need to contact a geriatric care manager.

Sign Up for My Free January Webinar  

5 Vital Clinical Tools to Help Aging Dysfunctional Families-Post Horrid Holidays- 

             Thursday, January 21, 2021

F

  Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday  

 Join me and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stocking.      

Learn how to!

  • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
  • Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family
  • Master Vital Clinical Tools you to solve client problems
  • Take Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families
  • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

 SIGN UP NOW

 Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

 

Filed Under: abusive aging parents, adult child physical abuse, Adult children, aging family crisis, aging family system, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, Aging therapist, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family Inquiry, Dysfunctional Family System, elder abuse, elder care manager, elder fiscal abuse, elder mediator, entitled family, estranged siblings, FREE WEBINAR, GCM COACHING SKILLS, geriatric care manager, geriatric care manager start up, midlife siblings, Siblings Tagged With: adult children of borderline narcissistic VIP families, aging family, blaming familiy members, boundaries dysfunctional families, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional Holiday, cut -off, cut-off sibling, dysfunctional aging family, geriatric care manager, help with dysfunctional family, midlife siblings, Narcissistic Personality, sibling, Substance abuse in the elderly

Take This Test -Can You Take A Dysfunctional Family Case Over the Holidays ?

December 18, 2020

Do You Have the Clinical Skills to Give Hope to  The  Dysfunctional  Family Calling Desperately On the Holidays –

What does it Take?

    1. Do you know the right caseload mix so you have the intense time to handle these very heavy care families?
    1. Do you have 5 years of geriatric care management practice, a master’s degree to understand and work with them??
    2. Do you have care managers who can work with these complex aging dysfunctional families?
    3. Do you have the business model to realign your caseload for many of these time-intensive cases?
    4. Do you know aging family dynamics or do you have a staff member who does?

    5. Can you increase your staff to do this?
    6. Do You Know How to do a two call intake and complimentary consultation?
    7. Do You know how to make the sale to dysfunctional aging clients?
    8. Are you ready to be fired and have account receivable problems that come with these cases?
    9.  Do you know how to answer the challenge the dysfunctional, needy demanding adult children face and the client’s needs at the same time?
    10. Do you know how to hold an impromptu family Dysfunctional meeting with adult children, over the hectic holiday to plan care for aging parents?
    11. Can you work with narcissistic entitled older clients who are very demanding?
    12. Can you  emotionally handle the demeaning, blaming attitude of narcissistic old and new monied clients
  1. SIGN UP FOR MY WEBINAR To Find Out Clinical Tools to

  2. Work With These 

  3. Families 

  4.  

      Sign Up for My January Webinar  

     Working with Aging Dysfunctional Families- January and February-Long Day’s Journey into Night- 

                 Thursday, January 21, 2021

      Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday   Join me and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional  families who found coal in their stocking.      Learn how to:family-charis1-226x300.jpg Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders   Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family    Master the 5 Clinical Tools – you need – to solve these problems with your clients   Learn Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families    

     

     

     

    Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

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  1.  

Filed Under: Aging, Aging Family, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Blog, care manager, case manager, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional families, Concierge Senior, Dysfunctional Aging Familu, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, elder care manager, estranged siblings, Families, Filial Crisis, FREE WEBINAR, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Long Distance Care, Narcissistic Personality, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Quality of Life for elders, sibling rivalry, Sibling Strife Christmas, Sibling Strife Holidays, Siblings, Spoiled Holiday Rituals, Therapist Specializing in Aging, Webinar Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging family, aging life care manager, aging parent, aging parent care, care management, care manager, case manager, dysfunctional family, geriatric care manager, nurse care manager

Make a Plan to Help Aging Parents Cannot Celebrate Holidays Together

December 16, 2020

HOLIDAY GATHERING WITH AGING PARENTS NOT SAFE

Dr. Michael Osterholm, Disease Expert U of Minnesota has warned against  gathering in person with elder family members on the Holidays
“We need somebody to start to articulate, ‘What is our long-term plan? How are we going to get there? Why are we asking people to sacrifice distancing? Why are we telling

people if you really love your family, you won’t go home for Christmas and end up infecting mom or dad or grandpa and grandma.’ We don’t have that storytelling going on right now, and that’s every bit as important as the science itself,”

 

NEED LONG TERM PLAN STARTING NOW

So adult children need to start making a long-term plan. What are they going to say to their aging parents to convey they do not want to infect or even expose them to covid-19 so you cannot celebrate the holidays together? They cannot come to your home for the festivities and grandma and grandpa cannot go to theirs.

This takes, as Osterholm suggested

creating a story and learning how to tell stories if you do not already know.

HOW TO TELL A STORY 

Vaile Wright, senior director for health care innovation at the American Psychological Association. suggests starting the story by explaining how much you care about your family“I feel it’s in my family’s best interests to be more strict, so we’re not going to travel for Christmas.” This type of language, she said, makes the other person less defensive, since it doesn’t come across as “You aren’t doing the right thing so I can’t come to visit.”

SIGN UP FOR MY WEBINAR

 

Sign Up for My January Webinar  

 Working with Aging Dysfunctional Families- January and February-Long Day’s Journey into Night- 

             Thursday, January 21, 2021

 

Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday

 

Join me and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional  families who found coal in their st

 

 

 Learn how to:family-charis1-226x300.jpg

Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders

 

Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family 

 

Master the 5 Clinical Tools – you need – to solve these problems with your clients

 

Learn Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families

 

 

 

 

 

 

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

 

 

Filed Under: Aging, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Blog, Coronavirus safety elders, CORONAVIRUS Stay at Home Plan, COVID & HOLIDAY SEASON, Covid Holiday Remote Visit, COVID Webinar, COVID-19 Webinar, Families, FREE WEBINAR, Geriatric Care Management Business, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Holiday season, HolidaySeason and COVID, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, TELEHEALTH HOLIDAY PLAN, Telehealth with GCM, ZOOM CHRISTMAS, ZOOM HANUKKAH, ZOOM THANKSGVING Tagged With: aging family, aging life and geraitric care manager, aging life care manager, aging parent crisis, COVID & Christmas, COVID & Holidays, COVID & Seasonal Flu, COVID VIRTUAL CHRISTMAS VISIT, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday COVID Celebration, HOLIDAY VISIT TO FAMILY PLAN, nurse advocate, nurse care manager

Adult Sibling Rivalry at Thanksgiving- Where To Get Help?

November 14, 2020

Siblings are The Biggest Source Of Stress Between Human Being

At family rituals, like Thanksgiving next week, adult siblings often are often brought back together. If you are one- will it be a happy feast?

As Gail Sheehy says in her book, Passages in Caregiving, we think that siblings will automatically support each other when aging parents fall apart. Sheehy quotes sociologists, Karl Pillemer and J. Jill Suitor, in a study they did conclude that siblings are inherent rivals and the biggest source of stress between human beings.

If you are a midlife sibling, perhaps you have a brother or sister to whom you hardly speak. Maybe you are about to see your siblings at the coming Thanksgiving feast, even on zoom during COVID, and anticipate largely ignoring him or her or doing chitchat as you seethe the inside. If you fit this description, you are in the same lurching boat as uncounted baby boomer siblings all over the world.

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Childhood Wound Ripped Open

That wound from childhood may still ache enough to keep you on the furrowed path your family followed when you were young. Now, however, you and adult siblings, nearing or at retirement age, may need to come together again to be part of a niece or

 

nephew’s wedding or christening, help plan a parent’s anniversary dinner or, most important, oversee the increasing care of elderly family members.

Best Thanksgiving Sibling War Film

I suggest you watch Pieces of April, a fabulous Thanksgiving film ( lead Katy Holmes debuts in a standout performance) where the film’s dysfunctional family revolves around adult sibling rivalry. The film is also, in the end. around a catastrophic illness of the aging parent, where the siblings need to resolve their differences.

If you recognize this problem in your own family, seek counseling before coming the holidays engulfs you. Contact the Aging Life Care Association to find help before a parental crisis.

SIGN UP FOR MY WEBINAR

 

8 Ways to Tame the Turmoil of the Holidays & Twindemic in the Aging Family

 Learn how!

  • How to sell services to the desperate Aging Family during the holiday surge
  • How to give hope to frantic children who call when their aging parent struggling with Loneliness and isolation on the holidays
  • How to help the Aging Family make holiday visits remotely or safely in person
  • How to counsel the Aging Family to track aging decline &Twindemic risk in loved ones
  • How to work with both dysfunctional and long-distance families who call during the holidays
  • How to use GCM tools to contain Holiday chaos
  • How to use financial forecasting to prepare for business growth during the holidays

Sidestep the Many Care Managers Who Do not know how to work with Dysfunctional family or do COVID Coaching of Aging Families so the client chooses you

THIS FREE WEBINAR IS Thursday, December 3, 2020, FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST

Sign Up Now

 

 

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

 

Filed Under: ADULT SIBling, Aging, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Aging therapist, Blog, Cut Off, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Families, Filial Crisis, FREE WEBINAR, Geriatric Care Management Business, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, HolidaySeason and COVID, nurse care manager, SIBLING, sibling rivalry, Sibling Strife Holidays, Sibling Strife Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving & dysfunctional family, THANKSGIVING BLOG, Thanksgiving Parent crisis, Thanksgving visits during COVID, Therapist Specializing in Aging Tagged With: adult sibling, adult sibling conflict, adult sibling estrangement, Aging siblings, celebrations with siblings, cut-off sibling, Holidays with midlife siblings, irate siblings, sibling conflict, siblingd

Thanksgiving Blog- Steal It for Your Social Media

November 10, 2020

Spread The Word About Your Services Before Thanksgiving

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ADULT CHILDREN DESPERATE AFTER THANKSGIVING PAINTS PARENTAL DECLINE FEAR OF COVID

If you use social media to spread the word about your services before the holidays, you should have a blog. One giant target is adult children who need help for their older family members.

So you can steal this blog below and share it on social media in the next few days.

Whether you use Constant Contact, Survey Monkey, Word Press, or have a blog

attached to your website, this is a good time to give potential adult child customers a short marketing touchpoint about your services plus many other touchpoints to convert them to clients or customers.

Since the family – both nearly normal and the dysfunctional version gather on Thanksgiving and during the holiday season, this blog is a gateway step towards thinking about how their family might organize care for a loved one or if they need a care manager to guide them through the whole wrenching process.

Steal the blog below

“The Thanksgiving is around the corner but will you be able to travel with COVID raging. Will you be celebrating at home and sharing with Grandma and grandpa remotely or

traveling to the family as safely as you can possibly get yourself there and then spend the time without being exposed to COVID?

Steal the blog below

“The Thanksgiving is around the corner what better time to talk about the family. Will you be celebrating the holiday with a nearly normal or dysfunctional family?

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The normal aging family can have their own problems. Leading up to Thanksgiving, adult children can struggle when their aging Mom is not able to cook that turkey and be the high priestess of the family ritual and rituals to come. An aging Mom or Dad’s decline can be confusing, even for families that are close-knit, well-integrated, and highly functioning.

But for the dysfunctional aging family, a disabled Mom’s need for care can be overwhelming and even destructive. This kind of family is marked by strained relationships and unresolved conflict. They not only do not want to take over rituals or cook the Thanksgiving turkey, but they will also attend the annual family ritual and make a scene or, more likely, never show up at all.

Over Thanksgiving, if you travel safely in person or host yourself safely with Grandma and Grandpa and family -you should watch the way your family interacts and try to assess what kind of family you have. This is a stepping stone to a way to work together as a team ( or not) as a parent decline. You can also call  ( PUT YOUR COMPANY NAME  WEBSITE) to help you both assess your family and make plans with the family about Mom’s aging and decline.”

SIGN UP FOR MY HOLIDAY WEBINAR

 

8 Ways to Tame the Turmoil of the Holidays & Twindemic in the Aging Family

 Learn how!

  • How to sell services to the desperate Aging Family during the holiday surge
  • How to give hope to frantic children who call when their aging parent struggling with Loneliness and isolation on the holidays
  • How to help the Aging Family make holiday visits remotely or safely in person
  • How to counsel the Aging Family to track aging decline &Twindemic risk in loved ones
  • How to work with both dysfunctional and long-distance families who call during the holidays
  • How to use GCM tools to contain Holiday chaos
  • How to use financial forecasting to prepare for business growth during the holidays

Sidestep the Many Care Managers Who Do not know how to work with Dysfunctional family or

do COVID Coaching of Aging Families so the client chooses you 

THIS FREE WEBINAR IS Thursday December 3, 2020 FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST

Sign Up Now

 

 

 

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

 

Add  A Newsletter

Make changes if you want but get started with social media and newsletter like Tasha Beauchamp’s great care management newsletter ASAP but take advantage of the highest volume of calls you will get all year if you direct family to your business.

Filed Under: Aging, aging life care manager, COVID & HOLIDAY SEASON, COVID Webinar, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, e-newsletter, FREE WEBINAR, GCM Webinar, geriatric care management emergency proceduress, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, HolidaySeason and COVID, Long Distance Care & COVID-19, marketing blog, marketing newsletter, marketing to long distance adult children, marketing touchpoints, Natasha Beauchamp, Nearly Normal Aging Family, newsletters, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving & dysfunctional family, Thanksgiving and COVID, THANKSGIVING BLOG, Thanksgiving Parent crisis, Thanksgiving Safe Visits to Grandma, Thanksgving visits during COVID, Therapist Specializing in Aging, Webinar, ZOOM THANKSGVING Tagged With: aging life care manager, aging life or geriatric care manager, aging parent crisis, care manager, COVID & Holiday Season, COVID Driving to Thanksgiving, COVID VIRTUAL THANKSGIVING VISIT, COVID-19& LONG DISTANCE CARE, dysfunctional aging family, geriatric care manager, nearly normal family, nurse advocate, Thanksgiving COVID Travel, Thanksgiving with aging parents

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