Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

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Ten Warning Signs You Are Working With a Dysfunctional Family

November 3, 2022

Working with Dysfunctional Family

Ten Warning Signs you are Working with Dysfunctional Family represents critical information to share with long-distance caregivers before their holiday visit. Do you know them? They include contentiousness, anger, and cut off and all are listed below. These clinical issues give the visiting caregiver signs that they need to call a care manager and you the care manager the most challenging job of an aging professional. What you have to know is family system theory and be clinically skilled in entering this treacherous family system – to get care for an older person

1. Contentiousness – Old fights erupt; the siblings and parents get into arguments with one another about an old issue

2. Anger – Siblings and family members express physical anger, emotional abuse, financial abuse

3. Distancing & cut off – Some siblings or parents have nothing to do with family and may not speak to parents or siblings for long periods of time.

Ten Warning Signs You are Working with the  Dysfunctional Family – Fusion, Denial, Triangulation, Entitlement

4. Fusion – Siblings and family members, such as the mother and eldest daughter, blend into one another, For example, the daughter sounds, acts, and has the same prejudices as the mother. . Think of the media’s portrayal of Lindsay Lohan and her mother.

5. Denial – Adult siblings do not see a decline in a parent, do not face reality, and do not take care of parent if he or she needs care.                           

6. Triangulation – Tension between two family members or siblings causes one to enlist a third family member or sibling to avoid change For example, two adult sibling object to the cost of care of an aging parent. They gang up on the third adult sibling who thinks the cost of care is reasonable and justified.

7. Sense of Entitlement – Siblings who are accustomed to purchasing services need not personally solve their own, children’s siblings or parents’ problems. This lack of engagement leaves them, unprepared and unwilling in getting involved in solving family tribulations.

Ten Warning Signs You Are Working with a Dysfunctional Family – Narcissism, Needy Adult Siblings, Substance Abuse, and Cut Off

8. Narcissism – One or more siblings has an “it’s all about me” attitude and

other siblings resent this. The self-absorbed sibling either does not participate

9. Needy Adult Siblings – These adult siblings feel starved for affection and often seek affection from professionals and other people in their lives for compensation for the care they didn’t receive as children.

10 . Substance and Other Abuse – The family and siblings have a history of drug, alcohol, and/or child abuse.

If this fits you you and your aging parent needs care may need to contact a geriatric care manager.

SIGN UP FOR MY HOLIDAY WEBINAR –

 

Get Ready for the Holiday Rush

Get Ready for the Holiday Rush

WEDNESDAY, November 16th, 2022, FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST

 Learn how to create!

  • Pre-Holiday Social media campaigns to reach worried caregivers
  • Pre- Holiday-Materials about the warning signs that a parent needs help
  • Pre-Holiday Marketing to help you sign up families who might face a serious decline in aging parents
  • How to sell services to desperate post-holiday callers from Normal dysfunctional & long-distance family
  • How to use tools to contain holiday chaos & arrange care in festive family fright
  • How to move the family to New Year’s stability
  • Know The Ten Warning Signs you are working with a dysfunctional family and position Your Agency ahead of Care Managers who do not have great pre-holiday marketing campaigns and lack the clinical skills how to work with Adult Children and families during the chaotic aging family holiday visit when adult kids find their aging parents need care
  • Featuring

 Cathy Cress MSW author of the Handbook of Geriatric Care

Management     

Find Out More 

 

 

 

  • Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

 

Filed Under: abusive aging parents, adult child physical abuse, Adult children, aging family crisis, aging family system, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, Aging therapist, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family Inquiry, Dysfunctional Family System, elder abuse, elder care manager, elder fiscal abuse, elder mediator, entitled family, estranged siblings, FREE WEBINAR, GCM COACHING SKILLS, geriatric care manager, geriatric care manager start up, midlife siblings, Siblings Tagged With: adult children of borderline narcissistic VIP families, aging family, black american geriatric care managers, black american social workers, Black Entrepreneurs, Black geriatric care managers, Black RN's, Black start-up geriatric care management, Black travel nurses, blaming familiy members, boundaries dysfunctional families, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional Holiday, cut -off, cut-off sibling, dysfunctional aging family, geriatric care manager, help with dysfunctional family, midlife siblings, Narcissistic Personality, sibling, Substance abuse in the elderly

Why a Financial Planner Would Work With a Caremanager

September 20, 2022

 Why Would a Care Manager Work With a Financial Planner?

Why a financial planner would work with a caremanager and why do you need to know this? First, you need to create a practice that meets the needs of third-party referral sources like financial planners, and wealth managers. They both work with older adults to plan and then manage their retirement assets, which often involves future or present care management.

What is the difference between a wealth manager?  Forbes magazine suggests that wealth managers, who are actually a subset of financial planners, deal with high net wealth – perhaps the upper 2 %. Financial Managers deal with retirees who have large assets, not stratospheric wealth. However, they both help retirees plan their retirement, and part of that retirement becomes the cost of care as they age after retirement. Generally, clients who use a financial advisor are pre-planners so the care manager can help the financial planner and the client think through future care  situations in advance which helps the financial planner provide the advisor with a roadmap for potential expenses

But financial planners need to know what you will do to benefit their clients. This means how will you benefit their practice? On the feeding chain of referrals, financial planners can be an important source of income for your business. But you have to deliver what they need in benefits to make money.

Benefits and Features

.

Features and benefits are very different. Features often directly address common problems experienced by users. Benefits are the outcomes or results that users will experience by using your product or service – the very reason why a prospective customer becomes an actual customer.

Features Care Managers Bring to Financial Planners

Why a financial planner would work with a care manager is Financial Planners are not often experienced with the full cost of future health care expenses. A feature of a care manager practice is understanding Medicare and its severe limits on paying for long-term care. Care Managers understand approximately when ADLs and IADLs will get more difficult for seniors, leading them to need some level of private pay home care. They also know Medicare does not cover long-term care like Private Duty Home care.

A big feature is care managers can also assess the client’s level of competency to make financial decisions so the financial planner can gauge whether the client can make decisions about their own money.

Why would financial planners work with a care manager?

 

Biggest Feature Care Managers Bring to Financial

Planners

The biggest feature of a care manager working with a financial planner is they can offer their clients a one-to-one concierge future health care expense plan, estimating how much long-term care will cost over time for each individual financial planning client.

So the care manager benefits the financial Planner by personally, one-to-one- working with the financial advisor’s clients helping them make both a retirement plan that includes health care realities and listening to and including their own individual health care choices.

Care Management Benefits to Financial Planners

Financial Planners are pre-planners and the care managers can help the financial health care costs and tailor that future health care to the client’s choices to help them think through situations in advance helping provide the advisor a roadmap for potential expenses. Care Managers can collaborate to create a long-term care plan for clients who wish to move or need to move to a higher level of care. They can personally collaborate with the client to create a long-term care plan for clients who wish to stay at home as financial planner plans accordingly for the cost of care. The outcome or the benefit of the collaboration of the financial planner and care managers is a fulsome more accurate financial plan for the aging client combining health and wealth planning skills.

 

Why would financial planners work with a care manager?

This is like a care management benefit to a conservator. A geriatric care manager is a health professional who specializes in the physical and mental issues of an older person. So care managers benefit from a conservator or helping to map out the care of psychosocial and health care issues of older conservatees and what will be the cost of future care.

Sign Up for My Latest Free Webinar

Care Managers Marketing to Wealth Managers”

When September 27th, 2-3:30 PM Pacific

Sign-up Understand how to market to the target and you open the door to the top 5% of

Why would financial planners work with a care manager?

 Learn how to sell your services to the gatekeepers to the clients who can pay privately for long periods of time, when you deliver your gold standard care management services.

Wealth managers and trust officers will refer their VIP clients to you if you can sell care management benefits and features to their entitled clients,

 bring the right handouts and, do the perfect presentation with the winning pitch

When September 27th 2-3:30 PM Pacific

What you will learn


  • Why market to wealth managers, financial planners, and trust departments
  • The benefits and features GCM offers to wealth managers financial planners and trust departments
  • Who are top wealth managers
  • How do you find them, set up a meeting, what to bring, what to present with the perfect pitch

Interview with GCM Patrice Harrison who works with trusts – what they want in a GCM

 

Sign-Up for this free webinar

 

Free Webinar

Filed Under: Aging Family, aging life business, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Aging Life Products, ALCA start-up business, Benefits of Geriatric Care Management, Benefits to Conservators, Benefits to Guardians, Black Aging Family, Black Entrepreneur, Black Entrepreneur RB, Black Entrepreneur RN, Black entrepreneurs, Black Geriatric Care Manager, Black geriatric care managers, Blog, Care Management Products, care management start-up, cash flow, Conservator, Conservators, Dysfunctional aging family, elder care manager, elder fiscal abuse, Elderlaw Attorney, entrepreneur, entrepreneur business, entrepreneur care manager, entrepreneur RN, FREE MARKETING WEBINAR, FREE WEBINAR, GC< working with a conservator, GCM Benefits, GCM Start -Up, GCM Webinar, GCM working with a conservator, GCM Working With Aging Family, Geriatric Care Management Business, geriatric care manager, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Guardian, Guardians, Legal Guardian, Marketing aging life care, marketing care management, marketing to concierge clients, marketing to conservators, marketing to guardians, marketing to the top 10$, nurse advocate, Start-up Marketing, Starting care management business, Third Party Referral, webinar Features vs Benefits Tagged With: aging family, Aging Life Care Association, aging life care manager, aging parent crisis, benefits of ALCA, Benefits of care management, Benefits Of Geriatric Care Managers, black american geriatric care managers, black american social workers, Black Entrepreneurs, Black geriatric care managers, Black Nurse Entrepreneurs, Black start-up geriatric care management, Black travel nurses, care manager, conservatorship, Features and Benefits, Features and Benefits of GCM, Features and Benefits of geriatric care management, geriatric care management, guardianship, markerting to conservators, marketing aging life or geriatric carre management, Marketing Care Management, marketing tactics, marketing to 3rd parties, marketing to guardians, marketing to trust officers, nurse advocate, nurse care manager

Why Would 3rd Parties like Conservators or Guardians Use a Care Manager ?

March 7, 2022

 Why Would a Conservator Hire a Care Manager?

 Why would third parties like conservators or guardians use a care manager and why do you need to know this? First, you need to create a practice that meets the needs of major referral sources like conservators, the term we use in the west or in the east a guardian. Adult children, call you to start services on their own but a conservator calls you directly. 

Why would third parties like conservators or guardians use a care manager? A conservator or guardian has the legal choice in hiring a geriatric care manager or ALCA member. But conservators need to know what you will do to benefit them with their clients if they are to work with your agency. This means how will you benefit their practice. On the feeding chain of referrals, conservators or guardians can be one of your most important sources of income for your business. You have to deliver what they need in benefits to make money.

Benefits and Features

Conservators need to know what you will do to benefit them with their clients if they are to work with your agency.Features and benefits are very different. Features often directly address common problems experienced by users. Benefits are the outcomes or results that users will experience by using your product or service – the very reason why a prospective customer becomes an actual customer.

Why would third parties like conservators or guardians use a care manager?Conservators need to know what you will do to benefit them with their clients if they are to work with your agency

A  conservator is a legal entity that manages money and the legal guidelines of the conservatorship are often because of undue influence. A geriatric care manager is a health professional who specializes in the physical and mental issues of an older person. So care managers benefit a conservator or guardian by monitoring and arranging the care of psychosocial and health care issues of older conservatees.

Why would third parties like conservators or guardians use a care manager

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Help with Dysfunctional Families

Why would third parties like conservators or guardians use a care manager? Conservators often work with the very dysfunctional families of the conservatee. However many guardians or conservators have financial rather than psychosocial backgrounds. Therefore the benefit of a care manager is they are skilled in interceding with dysfunctional families and can take the conservator off the hot seat. Care managers benefit the conservator by intervening with a difficult family and addressing the client’s needs, symptoms and defenses to protect the conservatee, for the guardian. This is a great benefit to the conservator, who often does not have these skills.

Why would third parties like conservators or guardians use a care manager

Some other examples of benefits you bring to a conservator

  • You can act as a ‘medical information hub,’ attending doctor appointments and providing the conservator with physician notes, current vital signs, medications information, and treatment directions.
  • You can assess whether care in a facility is delivered as contracted by the conservator.
  • You monitor the physical and mental health issues of an older person and report back to the conservator
  • You can staff a conservator’s case with excellent care providers if the conservatee needs caregivers  at home or in a  higher level of care
Free Webinar

How Do you Sell Your Services to a Guardian or Conservator – Benefits

SIGN UP FOR MY FREE WEBINAR  

Sell Benefits, not Features &Grow Your$ Bottom Line

 Even if you cannot make the class if you sign up you will get a recording the next day

When: March 15, 2022
2 PM-3:30 PM PST
Learn

A feature is a fact 

A benefit tells customers advantages of those facts

Find out More 

YOU WILL LEARN

How to create a winning sales pitch to a third party

The difference between selling features vs benefits

How to sell  benefits of your services for each 3rd party 

What Benefits make your sale to conservators or guardians  wealth managers, elder law attorneys, and concierge physicians to get referrals for new clients

The Benefits that make your sale to upscale Assisted Living, accountants, financial planners, Hospice

Step by Step how to set up meetings with 3rd parties to make the sale

Even if you cannot attend you will get the recording of the webinar the next day if you sign up 

 

SIGN UP And Take of One-time Low price offers of Classes 

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Filed Under: Aging Family, aging life business, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Aging Life Products, ALCA start-up business, Benefits of Geriatric Care Management, Benefits to Conservators, Benefits to Guardians, Benefits to Third Parties, Black Aging Family, Black Entrepreneur, Black Entrepreneur RB, Black Entrepreneur RN, Black entrepreneurs, Black Geriatric Care Manager, Black geriatric care managers, Blog, Care Management Products, care management start-up, cash flow, Conservator, Conservators, Dysfunctional aging family, elder care manager, elder fiscal abuse, Elderlaw Attorney, entrepreneur, entrepreneur business, entrepreneur care manager, entrepreneur RN, FREE MARKETING WEBINAR, FREE WEBINAR, GC< working with a conservator, GCM Benefits, GCM Start -Up, GCM Webinar, GCM working with a conservator, GCM Working With Aging Family, Geriatric Care Management Business, geriatric care manager, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Guardian, Guardians, Legal Guardian, Marketing aging life care, marketing care management, marketing to concierge clients, marketing to conservators, marketing to guardians, marketing to the top 10$, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Start-up Marketing, Starting care management business, Third Party Referral, webinar Features vs Benefits Tagged With: aging family, Aging Life Care Association, aging life care manager, aging parent crisis, benefits of ALCA, Benefits of care management, Benefits Of Geriatric Care Managers, black american geriatric care managers, black american social workers, Black Entrepreneurs, Black geriatric care managers, Black Nurse Entrepreneurs, Black start-up geriatric care management, Black travel nurses, care manager, conservatorship, Features and Benefits, Features and Benefits of GCM, Features and Benefits of geriatric care management, geriatric care management, guardianship, markerting to conservators, marketing aging life or geriatric carre management, Marketing Care Management, marketing tactics, marketing to 3rd parties, marketing to guardians, marketing to trust officers, nurse advocate, nurse care manager

Know the 3 Dysfunctional Aging Family Adult Children Who Call Post Holiday?s

January 4, 2022

3 Types of Dysfunctional Adult Children Call You After Holidays When you Need Clinical Skills to Work with these Callers

# 1 Inquiry from Narcissistic Adult Child in Dysfunctional Family

– The narcissistic adult child from the aging dysfunctional family who calls for help has an “it’s all about me” attitude. The aging parent and or a midlife sibling. could be narcissists. With aging parents, all siblings may have resented this self-absorption their entire lives and have a love/hate relationship with older moms or dads. With siblings, the other brothers and sisters resent this, especially with parent care.  The self-absorbed sibling either does not participate in solving sibling or aging family troubles but just makes them worse. They call after the disastrous holiday season and you need clinical skills to work with them

#2 Inquiry from Devalued Child Entitled but Servile Adult.

 

The devalued adult child from the aging dysfunctional family calls you after the holidays you need clinical skills to work with them. 

As a kid, the adult child of a narcissist parent was devalued in the parent’s eyes so that the now aging parent can feel superior and powerful in the world. These children mature into adults who are emotionally impoverished, inflexible, and needy.

As a geriatric care manager, the adult child presents as entitled. As clients, these adult children fear that unless they make inflexible demands, they will receive nothing. “ Get my mother into a concierge wing of a hospital by tomorrow”

An adult child of a narcissistic aging parent will present as nasty, aggressive, and devaluing of the service provider. Or they could be essentially insatiable and easily injured by the helping professional. The adult children of narcissistic entitled families are also often angry and frustrated at having to give care to a parent or parents whom they experienced as ungiving, demanding, intrusive, overpowering, and needy. They are members of an ultra dysfunctional aging family. They call after the holiday and you need clinical skills to work with them 

# 3-Inquiry from needy adult children in the dysfunctional aging family

 The adult child who calls may be the needy adult child. Baby boomers must evolve beyond the needy child he or she has been, depending on aging parents fiscal,

emotional, and social support, to the adult who supports his parent. Adult Children of aging parents in the 21st century not only confront the delay of their own needs when their parent’s aging and reliance call them but confront their own future and very much more immediate loss of the central figure in their lives, their own parents.

Some don’t- especially in the dysfunctional aging family.

These adults feel starved for parental affection they never received and often seek affection from professionals and other people in their lives to compensate for the care they didn’t receive as children. They call after the holiday and you need clinical skills to work with them. 

These 3  types of adult children have clinical difficulties that are coping and defense mechanisms allowing them to adapt to a dysfunctional family. The care manager must enter the family system clinically to address the needs symptoms and defenses of the adult children to get care for the elder.

You Need Clinical Care Management Skills to Work With These Clients

Get Them Here

Two Days Left to Sign Up for My Free January Webinar

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 11 Clinical Steps to Work with Dysfunctional Families-Post Holidays –

Thursday, January 6 2022 2:00-3:30 Pacific 

 

Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday

 

Join me 

and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stockings.

 

 Learn how to:

Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders

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Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family 

 

Tools for the Aging Dysfuntional family

Master the 5 Clinical Tools – you need – to solve these problems with your clients

 

Learn Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families

 

Sign -Up Now  

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

Filed Under: Adult children, Aging, aging family crisis, aging family system, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging therapist, Blog, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional family, Devalued adult child, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family Inquiry, Dysfunctional Family System, elder fiscal abuse, Entited Family, Families, FREE WEBINAR, GCM Clinical Tools, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Narcissistic adult child, Needy Adult Child, nurse advocate, nurse care manager Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging family, aging life care manager, care manager, Clinical Tool dysfunctional family, dysfunctional, Entitled aging client, free webinar, geriatric care managers, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, parent care crisis, Tools with Dysfunctional families

Warning Sign #2 You are Working With an Aging Dysfunctional Family

January 18, 2021

Dysfunctional Families and Anger – physical anger, emotional abuse, financial abuse

Fiscal and emotional abuse are the red blinking second signs of the dysfunctional aging family. Anger occurs normally in all families. However, in dysfunctional families, anger may take the form of repeated physical or

emotional abuse. This happens not only in one generation but passed on to the next and perhaps all subsequent generations. Adult children are often getting even with their aging parents for being neglectful, perhaps physically abusive parents when these angry adult children were kids.

Fiscal abuse is a ” sleeper” form of abuse,  yet a pernicious aging family problem. Adult children committed a whopping 40% of the abuse. Other family members were the next big thief’s investigated. The coming holidays create jaw-clenching stress on adult children who visit and finally see their parents decline. This means they need to care for them, which they have no idea how to do. Part of that comes from- they were never cared for as kids themselves. The holidays can be saved for a dysfunctional family, by care managers. Care managers can help them avoid abuse and support them to get the care they need for their aging parents who neglected them as children. 

Financial Advisors Can be Thieves Too

President Obama’s administration attempted to protect investors, who are often people trying to plan their retirement. The so-called fiduciary rule would have required financial advisers working with retirement accounts to put the interests of their clients ahead of their own—

The Trump administration, aiding and abetting in this theft, “blocked this rule and continues to block many retiring and aging client interests – putting them second and financial advisors interest (or ) profit first. This rule was supposed to go into effect on January 1, 2018, but was blocked again by the Trump Administration.

The securities industry received an early Christmas present from Trump’s outgoing Administration when the White House hastily cleared the way for the Department of Labor to lower the standard of care of investment advice fiduciaries, and this represents a dramatic and unprecedented reversal of the intent of Congress in enacting ERISA. The Public Investors Advocate Bar Association stated that “Workers and retirees deserve far better. They deserve to have their retirement savings protected, and they should be able to rely on those they have gone to for investment advice.”

Sign Up for My Free January Webinar  

5 Vital Clinical Tools to Help Aging Dysfunctional Families-Post Horrid Holidays- 

             Thursday, January 21, 2021

  Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday  

 Join me and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stocking.      

Learn how to!

  • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
  • Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family
  • Master Vital Clinical Tools, you to solve client problems
  • Take Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families
  • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

 SIGN UP NOW

 

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

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Find out more in my YouTube channel Geriatric Care 1

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: adult child physical abuse, Adult children, adult emotional abuse, Aging, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging therapist, care manager, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, elder abuse, elder care manager, elder fiscal abuse, fiscal abuse, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Long Distance Care, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving Parent crisis, Therapist Specializing in Aging Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging family Christmas, aging family crisis, aging family Hanakkah, aging family Thanksgiving, aging life and geraitric care manager, Aging Life Care Association, elder, elder abuse by family members, elder fiscal abuse, therapists aging families

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