Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

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Know the 3 Dysfunctional Aging Family Adult Children Who Call Post Holiday?s

January 4, 2022

3 Types of Dysfunctional Adult Children Call You After Holidays When you Need Clinical Skills to Work with these Callers

# 1 Inquiry from Narcissistic Adult Child in Dysfunctional Family

– The narcissistic adult child from the aging dysfunctional family who calls for help has an “it’s all about me” attitude. The aging parent and or a midlife sibling. could be narcissists. With aging parents, all siblings may have resented this self-absorption their entire lives and have a love/hate relationship with older moms or dads. With siblings, the other brothers and sisters resent this, especially with parent care.  The self-absorbed sibling either does not participate in solving sibling or aging family troubles but just makes them worse. They call after the disastrous holiday season and you need clinical skills to work with them

#2 Inquiry from Devalued Child Entitled but Servile Adult.

 

The devalued adult child from the aging dysfunctional family calls you after the holidays you need clinical skills to work with them. 

As a kid, the adult child of a narcissist parent was devalued in the parent’s eyes so that the now aging parent can feel superior and powerful in the world. These children mature into adults who are emotionally impoverished, inflexible, and needy.

As a geriatric care manager, the adult child presents as entitled. As clients, these adult children fear that unless they make inflexible demands, they will receive nothing. “ Get my mother into a concierge wing of a hospital by tomorrow”

An adult child of a narcissistic aging parent will present as nasty, aggressive, and devaluing of the service provider. Or they could be essentially insatiable and easily injured by the helping professional. The adult children of narcissistic entitled families are also often angry and frustrated at having to give care to a parent or parents whom they experienced as ungiving, demanding, intrusive, overpowering, and needy. They are members of an ultra dysfunctional aging family. They call after the holiday and you need clinical skills to work with them 

# 3-Inquiry from needy adult children in the dysfunctional aging family

 The adult child who calls may be the needy adult child. Baby boomers must evolve beyond the needy child he or she has been, depending on aging parents fiscal,

emotional, and social support, to the adult who supports his parent. Adult Children of aging parents in the 21st century not only confront the delay of their own needs when their parent’s aging and reliance call them but confront their own future and very much more immediate loss of the central figure in their lives, their own parents.

Some don’t- especially in the dysfunctional aging family.

These adults feel starved for parental affection they never received and often seek affection from professionals and other people in their lives to compensate for the care they didn’t receive as children. They call after the holiday and you need clinical skills to work with them. 

These 3  types of adult children have clinical difficulties that are coping and defense mechanisms allowing them to adapt to a dysfunctional family. The care manager must enter the family system clinically to address the needs symptoms and defenses of the adult children to get care for the elder.

You Need Clinical Care Management Skills to Work With These Clients

Get Them Here

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Time running out  to sign -up 4 Aging Dysfunctional Family Webinar

 11 Clinical Steps to Work with Dysfunctional Families-Post Holidays –

Thursday, January 6 2022 2:00-3:30 Pacific 

 

Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday

 

Join me 

and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stockings.

 

 Learn how to:

Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders

ed6855aa32d877d7fc1ef9ee757e0f17-98.jpg

 

Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family 

 

Tools for the Aging Dysfuntional family

Master the 5 Clinical Tools – you need – to solve these problems with your clients

 

Learn Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families

 

Sign -Up Now  

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

Filed Under: Adult children, Aging, aging family crisis, aging family system, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging therapist, Blog, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional family, Devalued adult child, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family Inquiry, Dysfunctional Family System, elder fiscal abuse, Entited Family, Families, FREE WEBINAR, GCM Clinical Tools, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Narcissistic adult child, Needy Adult Child, nurse advocate, nurse care manager Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging family, aging life care manager, care manager, Clinical Tool dysfunctional family, dysfunctional, Entitled aging client, free webinar, geriatric care managers, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, parent care crisis, Tools with Dysfunctional families

Thank Your Employees Taking On Call While you Celebrate Holidays

December 23, 2021

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Did You  Give a Happy Holiday Thanks to Your Staff?

Did you thank your employees for working over the holidays? This week is Christmas when we offer thanks to our friends, loved ones, family. But what about your employees this holiday month. How will you thank your

employees, the very people that power your business and profit and may be on call for you right now on New Years?

“Truly, from bosses I liked, anything was great because I appreciated that they thought of me. From “bad” bosses, anything would annoy me. You can’t make up for being a jerk with a token of any kind once a year.”

Ideas for inexpensive but really appreciated gifts to thank your employees – this holiday season- gift cards to grocery stores or department stores, a gift certificate from Amazon all given with a nice personal handwritten note.

Staff 

 

How To Thank Staff  All Year 

  1. I  did a blog about your need to bill 85% of your client hours. When a care manager does bill’s 85% write them a handwritten thank-you note being
  2. Be grateful all year long for having the amount of productivity to keep the business thriving. Handwriting is not a lost art. It sends a message that you take the time, personally, to really celebrate what the employees do for your business.

2. Send a handwritten thank-you note to thank your employees, to each staff member during the year applauding something they did. Be grateful by thanking your staff for something specific may be the ultimate reward. If you do it selectively yet authentically, a thank you note may be pinned above your employee’s desk for years. Create a formal letter recognizing your employee’s achievement. Sign it and use the company’s seal to give the letter something extra. If you really want to do it right, frame it.

3. Thank your staff by naming an employee of the month, each month in your newsletter with their picture. Give them a gift GCM-pix-3.jpgto tell them you are grateful for their hard work. Create a formal letter recognizing your employee’s achievement. Sign it and use the company’s seal to give the letter something extra. To thank your employees right, frame it too.

4. Be grateful this year, if you do not feel safe hosting an in-person party, to thank your employees, by having a virtual employee holiday party and mail gifts ahead of time to all employees for being such excellent care managers and for billing the 85% you need them to the bill so you will all have employment. It is late now so try New Years.

5. When COVID is gone, someday, to thank your employees, plan employee picnics, birthday parties, anniversary parties to thank them publicly throughout the year.

6. B.J Curry- Spitler, one of the first and I might say the greatest care managers, founded Age Concerns in San Diego in 1982. and knew how to be grateful to her staff. She was a master at thanking her staff.  To thank her employees, she gave gifts of massages to her care managers. A brilliant gift, a massage recognizes the tough emotional work that care managers do and their need to take care of themselves- which you as their employer are doing.

Thank your staff throughout the year.

SIGN UP FOR MY FREE WEBINAR

Sign Up for My New Years Webinar 

11 Clinical Steps to Work with Dysfunctional Families-Post Holidays –

Thursday, January 6, 2:00 PM 3:30 PM Pacific 

 Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday

Join me and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stockings.

 

 Learn how to:

Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders

 

Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family

 

Master the 5 Clinical Tools – you need – to solve these problems with your clients

 

Learn Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families

Sign -Up Even if you cannot attend & receive the recording the next day 

 

 

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

     

 

     

Filed Under: Aging, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Black Aging Family, Black Entrepreneur, Black Entrepreneur RB, Black Entrepreneur RN, Black entrepreneurs, Black Geriatric Care Manager, Black RN, Black Travel Nurses, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional families, Cut-Off, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Dysfunctional Family System, Families, GCM Webinar, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, Holiday on call, Holiday season, News, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, on-call staff, Thanking staff, Thanksgiving, THANKSGIVING BLOG, Therapist Specializing in Aging Tagged With: aging family, aging family Christmas, aging life care manager, Aging Mom on Christmas, aging parent crisis, care manager, case manager, Christmas, eldercare, GCM on call, geriatric care manager, Holiday Staff thank you, Holidays calls to GCM's, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, staff on call on Christmas, start-up eldercare, Thank employees, Thank Staff all year, Thank You, thanking staff on Christmas, Thanks staff

FREE HOLIDAY WEBINAR- BEAT HOLIDAY RUSH -One Day Left to Sign -up

November 15, 2021

One Day Left to sign up for my free webinar to beat Holiday Rush

HURRY- UP and  SIGN UP FOR MY FREE HOLIDAY WEBINAR

 

Get Ready for the Holiday Rush

SIGN UP NOW!
Tomorrow November 16th 2021 @2PM-3:30

 Learn!

  • How to  create Pre-Holiday Social media campaigns to reach worried caregivers

     

  • How to create Pre- Holiday-Materials about the warning signs that a parent needs help
  • How to usePre-Holiday Technology to help you move people from discovery to signing on the dotted line
  • How to sell services to desperate post-holiday callers from Normal dysfunctional & long-distance family
  • How to use tools to contain Holiday chaos & arrange care in festive family fright
  • How to move the family to New Year’s stability
  • Position Your Agency ahead of Care Managers who do not have great pre-holiday social media and marketing campaigns. Get ahead  of competitors who lack the clinical skills how to work with Adult Children and families during the chaotic aging family holiday visit when adult kids find their aging parents need care  
  •  
  • Featuring Speakers

 Cathy Cress MSW author of the Handbook of Geriatric Care

Management       

 

 

 

 

 

Natasha Beauchamp- MSc, Webmaster and Research    Scientist at Elder Pages Online, LLC

 

THIS FREE WEBINAR IS Tuesday, November 16th, 2021, FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST

Sign Up Now

 

 


  CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

Filed Under: Aging, Aging technology, ALCA Concierge, ALCA Marketing, Black Aging Family, Black Entrepreneur, Black Entrepreneur RB, Black Entrepreneur RN, Black entrepreneurs, Black Geriatric Care Manager, Black geriatric care managers, Black RN, Black Travel Nurses, Blog, Care management, Caregiver Stress, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional families, complementary consultatiom, Cut Off, Dysfunctional Family System, Families, FREE WEBINAR, GCM Start-Up, GCM Webinar, Geriatric Care Management Business, geriatric care manager, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rush for care managers, Holiday Rush Technology, Holiday season, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, Holiday Social Media, Holiday Webinar, Holidays, inquiry from adult child, Long Distance travel Holidays, Natasha Beauchamp, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, POST HOLIDAY CALLS, POST HOLIDAY SEASON, Post holidays aging dysfunctional family, Sibling Strife Holidays, Social Media for eldercare, Social Media Holidays, social media marketing, social media marketing campaign, Technology for Geriatric Care Managers, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving with Dysfuntional Family, Webinar, Webinar ALCA GCM Tagged With: aging family, aging life care manager, aging parent care, aging parent crisis, aging parent crisis on holiday, care manager, case manager, Dysfuntional family on holidays, Free Webinar geriatric care management, geriatric care manager, Holiday Crisis For Aging Family, Holidays calls to GCM's, marketing plam holiday, Nearly Normal family inquiry holidays, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Social Media for holidays, technology for holidays, Webinar ALCA

Adult Sibling Rivalry at Thanksgiving- Where To Get Help?

November 12, 2021

Siblings are The Biggest Source Of Stress Between Human Being

At family rituals, like Thanksgiving next week, adult siblings often are often brought back together. If you are one- will it be a happy feast or wrecked by holiday sibling rivalry??

Sibling Rivalry Can Give Acid Reflux to Grandma’s Thanksgiving Dinner

As Gail Sheehy says in her book, Passages in Caregiving, we think that siblings will automatically support each other when aging parents fall apart. Sheehy quotes sociologists, Karl Pillemer and J. Jill Suitor, on sibling rivalry, in a study they did conclude that siblings are inherent rivals and the biggest source of stress between human beings.

If you are a midlife sibling, perhaps you have a brother or sister to whom you hardly speak because of sibling rivalry. Maybe you are about to see your siblings at the coming Thanksgiving feast, even on zoom during COVID, and anticipate largely ignoring him or her or doing chitchat as you seethe the inside. If you fit this description of sibling rivalry, you are in the same lurching boat as uncounted baby boomer siblings all over the world.

 

Childhood Wound Ripped Open

That wound from childhood may still ache enough to keep you on the furrowed path your family followed when you were young. Now, however, you and adult siblings, nearing or at retirement age, may need to come together again to be part of a niece or

 

nephew’s wedding or christening, help plan a parent’s anniversary dinner, or, most important, oversee the increasing care of elderly family members.

Best Thanksgiving Sibling Rivalry Film

I suggest you watch Pieces of April, a fabulous Thanksgiving film ( lead 21-year-old Katy Holmes debuts in a standout performance) where the film’s dysfunctional family revolves around adult sibling rivalry. The film is also about interracial couples,and in the end, around a catastrophic illness of the aging parent, where the siblings need to resolve their differences. It also makes it a trifecta with dementia. The grandmother, who has dementia is taken out of her nursing home to join the dysfunctional Thanksgiving feast and offers surprising sanity to the sibling -rivalry drama.

If you recognize this problem in your own family, seek counseling before coming the holidays engulf you. Contact the Aging Life Care Association to find help before a parental crisis.

SIGN UP FOR MY HOLIDAY WEBINAR –

 

 Get Ready for the Holiday Rush

Tuesday, November 16th, 2021, FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST

FIND OUT MORE 

 Learn how!

  • Pre-Holiday Social media campaigns to reach worried caregivers
  • Pre- Holiday-Materials about the warning signs that a parent needs help
  • Pre-Holiday Technology to help you move people from discovery to signing on the dotted line
  • How to sell services to desperate post-holiday callers from Normal dysfunctional & long-distance

    F

    family

  • How to use tools to contain Holiday chaos, like sibling rivalry & arrange care in festive family fright
  • How to move the family to New Year’s stability
  • Position Your Agency ahead of Care Managers who do not have great pre-holiday marketing campaigns and lack the clinical skills how to work with Adult Children, sibling rivalry, and dysfunctional families during the chaotic aging clans holiday visit when adult kids  and rival siblings find their aging parents need care
  • Featuring Speakers

 Cathy Cress MSW author of the Handbook of Geriatric Care

Management        

 

 

 

 

 

 

Natasha Beauchamp- MSc, Webmaster and Research    Scientist at Elder Pages Online, LLC

THIS FREE WEBINAR IS Tuesday, November 16th, 2021, FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST

Sign Up Now

 

 

 

 

Find out more about dysfunctional family and sibling rivalry from My YouTube, Channel  

 

 

Filed Under: ADULT SIBling, Aging, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Aging therapist, ALCA Dysfuntional Family Help, Black Aging Family, Black Entrepreneur, Black Entrepreneur RB, Black Entrepreneur RN, Black entrepreneurs, Black Geriatric Care Manager, Black geriatric care managers, Black RN, Black Travel Nurses, Black Travel RN, Blog, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional family, Cut Off, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Dysfunctional Family Inquiry, Dysfunctional Family System, Families, Filial Crisis, FREE WEBINAR, Geriatric Care Management Business, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, HolidaySeason and COVID, nurse care manager, SIBLING, sibling rivalry, sibling sharing care, Sibling Strife Christmas, Sibling Strife Holidays, Sibling Strife Thanksgiving, Social Media, Social Media for Care managers, Social Media Holidays, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving & dysfunctional family, THANKSGIVING BLOG, Thanksgiving Parent crisis, Thanksgving visits during COVID, Therapist Specializing in Aging Tagged With: adult sibling, adult sibling conflict, adult sibling estrangement, aging life care on holidays, aging parent crisis on holiday, Aging siblings, Black, black aging family, black american geriatric care managers, black american social workers, Black Entrepreneurs, Black Nurse Entrepreneurs, celebrations with siblings, cut-off sibling, Dydsfunctual Family Holiday, dysfunctual family, Dysfunctual siblings, Holiday Crisis For Aging Family, Holiday Rush, Holiday sibling rivalry, Holidays with midlife siblings, irate siblings, Prepare for holiday rush, sibling conflict, sibling rivalry, siblings, Thansgiving sibling rivalry

When “Cut Off” in The Family is a ” Phantom Limb” at Thanksgiving

November 7, 2021

The Dysfunctional Family’s Worst Time of The Year

Thanksgiving, coming up soon, is the gateway to the dysfunctional family’s worst time of year- the holidays. Families face each other across the table they despise or just both love and hate. Or there is that empty seat- the uninvited guest- the brother-sister, aunt, son, daughter who is never invited- the cut off-family member. 

Families Phantom Limb

But since this leaves the family with that “phantom limb”- like the awful sensation that an amputated or missing limb is still attached and where it was is pulsating in pain- families reach out for someone to fix it.

The ordinary aging processes are made far tougher when a family has a history of dysfunction. Aging professionals, like care managers, have their greatest challenges in working with these “difficult” families around the holidays.

 Dysfunctional Families Fail Eldercare

Dysfunctional families are not able to organize themselves effectively in the face of eldercare challenges and crises. These families are under more stress as they move from long-established roles into uncharted territory.

Family” Cut” off  faces Phantom Limb at Thanksgivingimages_20141216-184443_1.jpg

What if they “ cut off” their Dad years ago and now he had a severe stroke-what do they do?? Someone has to take over Mom or Dad’s care and these dysfunctional midlife adult kids are heavy ambivalent or just don’t want to do it. Now that the holidays are arriving – they have the same attitude about attending the family Thanksgiving dinner.

My favorite aging dysfunctional family  ” cut off ” Thanksgiving film is  Pieces of April  Made as a comedy in 2003, it touches death and dying, sibling rivalry, mother-daughter estrangement, interracial love- and Alzheimer’s all fueled by deep family fault lines and how to cook a turkey on a broken stove. The film manages to make the old theme of fraught family Thanksgiving, crisp, funny, and ultra worth watching.I ordered it from Netflix but you  can watch on YOUTUBE 

 Shot in 3 weeks for a measly $350 K, it received a Sundance Film award and accolades for its pedigree cast including 21-year-old Katie Holmes as the grunge Goth daughter who her family has ” Cut Off”, Patricia Clarkson as the dying  Mom who distains then forgives her rebellious eldest child and Alice Drummond as the demented grandmother who comes along and plays the most rational person in the film in her obliviousness to the family holiday freak-out.

 

SIGN UP FOR MY HOLIDAY WEBINAR – 

Get Ready for the Holiday Rush

Tuesday, November 16th, 2021, FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST

 Learn how!

  • How to sell services to desperate post-holiday callers from Normal dysfunctional &long-distance family
  • How to use tools to contain Holiday chaos & arrange care in festive family fright
  • How to move the family to New Year’s stability
  • Pre-Holiday Social media campaigns to reach worried caregivers
  • Pre- Holiday-Materials about the warning signs that a parent needs help
  • Pre-Holiday Technology to help you move people from discovery to signing on the dotted line
  • Position Your Agency ahead of Care Managers who do not have great preholiday marketing campaigns and lack the clinical skills how to work with Adult Children and families during the chaotic aging family holiday visit when adult kids find their aging parents need care

Featuring Speakers

 Cathy Cress MSW author of the Handbook of Geriatric Care Management

 Natasha Beauchamp- MSc, Webmaster and Research    Scientist at Elder Pages Online, LLC

 THIS FREE WEBINAR IS Tuesday, November 16th, 2021, FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST

Sign Up Now

 

 

Find out more about Holiday Adult Child Freak out-in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel Geriatric Care 1

 

Filed Under: Adult children, Aging, Aging Alcohol Abuse, Aging Family, aging family crisis, aging life business, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging therapist, Black, Black Aging Family, Black entrepreneurs, Black geriatric care managers, Black Travel Nurses, Blog, care manager, case manager, Cut Off, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Dysfunctional Family Inquiry, Dysfunctional Family Mediation, Dysfunctional Family System, elder care manager, Families, GCM Operation Manual Class, GCM Operations Manual, GCM Operations Manual Class, GCM Webinar, Geriatric Care Management Business, geriatric care manager, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Holiday Rush for care managers, Holiday season, Holiday Webinar, Holidays, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Siblings, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving & dysfunctional family, THANKSGIVING BLOG, Thanksgiving Parent crisis, Thanksgiving with Dysfuntional Family, Therapist Specializing in Aging Tagged With: aging family, aging family Thanksgiving, aging life care manager, aging parent crisis, aging parent Thanksgiving, care manager, case manager, cut -off, dysfunctional family holidays, geriatric care manager, Katie Holmes, Marriage and Family Therapist, nurse care manager, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving with aging parents, Thanksgiving with dysfunctional family, Therapist in Aging

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