Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

  • Home
  • Products
    • GCM Manual New 5th edition
    • Books
    • Geriatric Care Management – 4th Edition
    • Mom Loves You Best
    • Care Managers
  • Online Classes
    • Recommendations
  • Webinars
    • Upcoming Webinars
    • Past Webinars
  • Speaking
  • About
    • Recommendations
    • Interviews
  • Blog
    • Aging
    • Geriatric Care Manager
    • Siblings
    • Webinar
  • Contact

I’ll be Home For Christmas in Spite of COVID if my Sibling’s Not there

December 6, 2020

      

 Holiday Films Can Be About Ruptured Relationships        

For many of us, the road home for the holidays is rutty especially this year with rampant COVID. For some, the path has gaping potholes. It can remind us of childhood conflicts between siblings that ruptured our relationship. Adult children who would still gather with elderly parents and siblings may be glad we all should not travel on the holiday this year due to the pandemic, as they avoid the awful holiday with an estranged sibling.

A great film to watch for nasty sibling rivalry with the comic brilliance of Vince Vaughn and  Paul Giamatti is Fred Claus. Fred neglected by Mrs. Claus by favorite son St Nick, who takes all his presents, turns to life as a repo man to get even. It sounds like a dumb film and is a little dumb but has a stellar cast in Kathy Bates, Miranda Richardson, Kevin Spacey, and Rachel Weisz. 

Adult Sibling Rivalry Usually Starts in Childhood

Serious sibling rivalry happens when the damage was done by a sister or brother years ago, leaving a  never healing gash in our mind. In fact, that old wound from a sibling may still fester and ooze enough to lead us to say we believe we don’t want to see the family on the holidays.

We feel we hate our siblings for many different reasons. The chief complaint that lurks in our mind is that Mom or Dad favored them over us. She got the new prom dress for her high school celebration, and a few years later we ended up with her hand-me-down. Dad sent him to a great four-year college, and we were sent to a community college near home. She was the baby so got to grow up with late curfews and loose rules, when Mom and Dad were unbearably strict with the rest of us. He was the oldest and Mom needed him to take care of the bunch of us, so she let him boss us around. He was the stepsibling who moved in and took over half our room.

Sibling Rivalry Can Stop Adult Children FRom Helping Aging Parents Stay Safe From COVID

That can all come back again if adult children do travel back for the holidays, against all CDC and State warnings. Just traveling back could give the adult child or worse, the elderly parent, the unwanted gift, like lethal coal in their stocking,  COVID. But if the siblings do journey all back to the family celebration, they all can open Pandora’s box of the past, picking favorite siblings or parental slights. Whatever happened in their childhood, can flashback like holiday PTSD. If the aging parents are struggling they may look for a GCM, so make sure that skill is on your website and be very sure you have skills in working with sibling rivalry.  My book Care Managers Working with The Aging Family has a chapter in it with tools to work with adult siblings.

Siblings Need TO Work Together to Keep Aging Parents Safe From Pandemic

This is a time when adult parents need adult siblings to work together as a team to ensure aging parents’ safety during COVID. This means not even going home to risk COVID. Adult children staying home also means one sibling setting up a virtual family

meeting to create a family plan to increase aging parents quality of life while sheltering in place alone with rising loneliness and isolation, It means making sure they have and are using all safety precautions against getting the virus and having a family plan if they are hospitalized, then discharged to recover or even to recovering with no hospitalizations if hospitals are full and turn patients away. . A geriatric care manager can offer that to the family.

Start a Coaching COVID Service for AGING Families

So pre Holiday, add Coaching Adult Children  and marketing this skill  to Help their older relatives with COVID risks and use your knowledge of helping adult sibling strife to help them help their

parents as a family team

 

 

Filed Under: Aging, Blog, COVID & HOLIDAY SEASON, Covid Holiday Remote Visit, COVID-19 & Care Management, COVID-19 &Shelter in Place Plan, COVID-19 Emergency Plan, Cut-Off, Dysfunctional aging family, Families, Geriatric Care Management Business, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Holiday season, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, HolidaySeason and COVID, Senior Isolation, Senior Loneliness, sibling rivalry, sibling sharing care, Sibling Strife Christmas, Sibling Strife COCID, Sibling Strife COVID, Sibling Strife Holidays, Siblings, Virtual Family Meeting, Virtual Family meeting COVID Tagged With: aging family, aging life care manager, care manager, case manager, estranged midlife sibling, geriatric care manager, nurse care manager

The 2 Deadliest US Sites of COVID-19 Nursing Homes & Prisons

May 2, 2020

PRISON INMATES AND NURSING HOME PATIENTS NOT  6FT APART – 6 FEET UNDER

70% of inmates in federal prisons have COVID-19.  In Kansas, the Lansing Correctional Facility had a riot of inmates over COVID-19 lack of care or protection  It took the rebellion to get the coronavirus testing PPE and care. The  Bureau of Prisons in Kansas confirmed finally that 79 staff have coronavirus and 88 prisons and prisoners dead.   

Older residents in nursing homes cannot rebel like prisoners. Many can’t even walk. The Atlantic Magazine just published an article, We are Killing Elders Now. The writer states “In at least six states, these fatalities account for half of all COVID-19 deaths, and according to the World Health Organization, half of all coronavirus fatalities in Europe have been traced to nursing homes too. Some of this mortality is linked to long-term-care facilities that are shoddily run or that violate health standards. But most of them are doing the best they can with what they have. And they don’t have much”.

KAISER FOUNDATION NURSING HOME STAFFING AND USE OF PPE NOT REQUIRED IN MOST STATES

Kaiser reports -Staff Screening. It is more common for states to recommend rather than require daily screening of staff for illness in NFs (24 states recommend, 16 states + DC require)

Use of PPE. More states recommend (23 states) than require (7 states + DC) staff to use PPE

 Two States that require testing for coronavirus of ALL  residents of nursing homes are  Maryland where 556 have died as of the Washington Post article. and Tennessee 

THE FEDS HAVE NO CMS FEDERAL GUIDELINES OR REPORTING

We have no federal guidelines for safety testing according to an article by the Kaiser Foundation

It is now estimated that 16,000 deaths have occurred in nursing homes and that is without the federal government revealing any numbers and not making available any testing. But the numbers are probably huge- if we could just do testing. 

CMS announced it would have a meeting of a “panel” of experts “ sometime at the end of May”. After probably 20,000 older people died and the feds did nothing this shows their sense of urgency about this pandemic’s national “elder cleansing”.

WHAT CONNECTS PRISONS AND NURSING HOMES – CONCENTRATION CAMPS

So, what is the connection between the viral spread of COVID-19 in nursing homes and prisons- 6 feet ? Prisoners and residents, in nursing homes, and prisons cannot social distance. Jails and prisons have human beings crammed together with no choice. Nursing homes have 2 beds or if you are on Medicaid three to a room. Neither group has a choice to social distance. They are ” concentrated” as in concentration camps or death camps.

Do SOMETHING – HELP NURSING HOMES PREVENT MORE CARNAGE

So, as someone who has spent her career in aging, I am calling out to everyone, especially professional in aging – do something. Since the feds appear to be doing little- call your congressman, write a letter to the editor.

BE KIND LIKE RACHEL MADDOW REPORTS LA JEWISH HOME LA WAS

Rachel Maddow suggests calling your local nursing homes and see what they need. Be kind like the LA Jewish Home was to a smaller nursing home LA Brier Oaks. They wanted to test their residents and had no tests and the larger LA Jewish Home had tests and shared them with the smaller as a good neighbor. What they found was ravaging but it also showed caring and generosity. Care and be generous and show the helpless elders in nursing homes in your town you are opposed to -nursing home being prisons or concentration camps.

Filed Under: 4th of july, 7 touches marketing, adult child physical abuse, Adult children, adult emotional abuse, ADULT SIBling, Aging, Aging Alcohol Abuse, Aging Community & Covid-19, Aging deaths, Aging Family, aging family crisis, aging life business, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging therapist, ALCA & Skilled Nursing Facility, ALCA Beneifits, ALCA business Loans, ALCA Cobtract, ALCA COVID-19 Crisis, ALCA Disaster Plan, ALCA Ethical Dilemma, ALCA Financial literacy, ALCA Products for COVID_19, ALCA sales, Alcohol Abuse and Aging, Angela Jolie, Aretha Franklin, Assisted Living, Assisted Living & Geriatric Care Managers, Assisted Living Crisis, Assisted Living sales, bankruptcy, Barack Obama, Benefits, Benefits of ALCA to Hospice, Benefits of Care Management, Benefits of Care Management to Hospice, Benefits of Geriatric Care Management, Benefits vs Features, Benifits & Assisted Living, Bill Clinton, billing, Billing 85%, billing 85% of GCM hours, Blog, borderline client, Borderline narcissistic family, borderline-narcissistic families, brand, branding, branding ALCA business, Branding GCM Business, cardiac care manager, care management market sizing, Care Management Products, care management start-up, care manager, Care Plan, caregiver, caregiver assessment, Caregiver Burn Out, caregiver burnout, caregiver mental health, CAREGIVER RESOUCES, case manager, Cash Clow, cash flow, cash glow, Choice to Move Elder, CIRCLE OF CARE, client database, Close The Sale, competition survey, Concierge aging clients, Concierge caregivers, Concierge Client, concierge clients, Concierge Senior, Conservator, Contract signed, coronavirus, Coronavirus emergency plan, coronavirus marketing, coronavirus quality of life virtual program, coronavirus shut down, Covid 19, Covid-19, Covid-19 Death Nursing Homes, Covid-19 Nursing Home, Cut Off, Cut-Off, database, Death and Dying Care Management, death and dying care manager, Dementia Activities, Dementia and Spirituality, DNR, Dr. Bill Thomas, dysfunctional aging familt, Dysfunctional Aging Familu, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Easter, Easter gifts Mom, elder abuse, elder care manager, elder fiscal abuse, elder mediator, Elderlaw Attorney, Elderly Disaster Plan, Emergency Plan, Emotional Quality of Life, Employees recognition, End of Life Care manager, End of life documents, entitled family, estranged siblings, ETHICAL DILEMMA, Ethical Will, Euology, failing business, Families, Features vs Benefits, Filial Crisis, fiscal abuse, Fiscal Elder Abuse, FREE MARKETING WEBINAR, FREE WEBINAR, GCM bankruptcy, GCM Benefits, GCM COACHING SKILLS, GCM Constract, GCM COVID 19 Crisis, GCM Disaster Plan, GCM Ethical Dilemma, GCM financial literacy, GCM Operations Manual, GCM products in COVID-19, GCM Speaker's Bureau, GCM Start -Up, GCM Start-Up, GCM technology, GCM Webinar, George Bush, Geriatric Assessment, Geriatric Care Management Business, geriatric care management emergency proceduress, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric care manager, geriatric care manager start up, Geriatric Care Managers & Assited Living, geriatric social worker, Grandchild gifts for grandma, Guardian, Hanukkah, Helping LBGTQ Elders, high end clients, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday on call, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Holiday season, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, Holidays, home care, Home care disaster plan, Home Care Emergency Coronavirus Plan, Home From the Hospital, Hospital care manager, Hurricane, Hurricane Irma, Hurricane Maris, ife care manager, Income inequality, infection control in SNS, innovative new senior centers, inquiry call, Intake, Intellectual Quality of Life, John Mc Cain, Jose, Late Life remarriage, Legacy Tools, Legal Guardian, LGTB elders, LGTBQ ELDERS, LGTBQ Loneliness& Isolation, living will, Loneliness, Long Distance Care, Long distance caregiver, Long Term Care Coverage, marketing, Marketing 4P's, Marketing aging life care, marketing ALCA /GCM, marketing care management, Marketing copy, Marketing data base, marketing geriatric care management, Marketing Home Care, marketing pitch, Marketing plan, Marketing to Assisted Living, marketing to concierge clients, marketing to conservators, marketing to guardians, marketing to long distance adult children, marketing to the top 10$, marketing to upper 10%, marketing to wealth managers, mediation, Medicare For All, midlife siblings, Mission, MONEY FOR GCM BUSINESS, Mother's Day, Mother's Day in Skilled Nursing, Move Management, moving parent in your home, Moving To CCRC, narcissistic client, Narcissistic Personality, Natasha Beauchamp, Nearly Normal Aging Family, new customers, New Year Resolutions, New Years, News, newsletters, Non-profit, Non-Profit adding Profit services, normal aging famiilies, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Nursing home abuse, Nursing Home Deaths, Nursing Home disaster plan, on-call staff, Oral History, paid caregiver, paid caregiver for concierge client, Palliative care manager, Pandemic, parent care, Partnership, Passover, patient advocate, Paying for Long term care, Poor Nursing home staffing, positioning, POST HOLIDAY CALLS, POST HOLIDAY SEASON, postioning, PR, Pre-Emptive Move, Presentations, Private Duty Home Care, Professional class retirees, Profit, profit in ALCA, Public Relations, Public Reltions, Quality of Life, Quality of Life for elders, Quality of Life in Dying, quality of life in senior centers, Quality of Life Virtual Program, Quality of Life Virtually, Quality of Life with Dementia, Rachel Maddow, Reminiscence Therapy, Respect, Sales, Sales in geriatric care management, Sales to Assisted Living, SBA business loan, Sell Sheet, selling a relationship, Selling ALCA Business, Selling GCM Business, Selling Your Business, Senior centers, Senior Drinking, Senior Isolation, Senior Legacy, Senior Loneliness, SIBLING, sibling rivalry, sibling sharing care, Siblings, Skilled Nursing Facility, SNF death COVID-19, Social Media, Social Media for Care managers, Social Media for eldercare, social media marketing, social media marketing campaign, Speaker's Bureau, speaker's buyreau, Speakers Bureau, Speaking to Adult Children, Spiritual Quality of Life, Stanford Hospital care manager, START UP, Stepmonster, Story Worth, Sweetheart scam, telemedicine, Thanking staff, Thanksgiving, THANKSGIVING BLOG, Thanksgiving Parent crisis, Therapist Specializing in Aging, Third Party Referral, Timeline, Town Hall, Transgender Elders, Trust Departments, Trust Officer, Uncovered Long Term Care, Uncovered MedicareServices, Universal Precaution, Valentines gifts for family caregivers, value proposition, value propostion, VIP marketing, VIP Products, VIP Syndrome, VIPS markeing, Wealth Management Departments, Wealth Managers, Webinar, Webinar ALCA GCM, Written Geriatric Assessment Tagged With: aging life care manager, aging parent crisis, case manager, Covid-19, COVID-19 prisons, death and dying in COVID-19, Federal Response To Covid-19, geriatric care manager, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, nursing home deaths, nursing home saftey, Prison death

Ten Warning Signs of a Dysfunctional Family- Warning Sign Number Three

October 31, 2019

 

What is scarier than Halloween?facebook-holiday-post-4.png

Happy Halloween –Kids and adults have fun being scary on Halloween. The Dysfunctional Aging Family is really scary. What is the third sign that you as an aging professional or geriatric care manager are working with an aging family- Cut off

Distancing & cut off- are pulling away and having nothing to do with family or an individual in your family.

You find adult children who have not spoken to parents or siblings for years.

Angela Jolie’s Cut-off With Her Dad

The celebrity feud and cut off between actress Angela Jolie and her Dad actor John Voigt is a well-publicized example of this.

What prompted reconciliation? Helping grandchildren- is one goal that professionals working with aging families can follow. Among the reasons, according to the press, that Jolie- Pit reconciled with her Dad was her children’s need for a grandparent . She learned that your children just have a very different version of a relationship with your parents than you do.

Assessing the Aging Family for Cut-off

When you assess the aging family as a professional you look at several signs for dysfunction. Has the family been stable over time? Is there a history of emotional cut-offs or distance on the part of one or more family members? Is there a pattern of divorce, remarriage, or other disruptions in relationships that change the balance within the family system if you look at a family and they have a history of fragility rather than stability, that a red flag that they are a dysfunctional aging family.

If there a history of emotional cut-offs or distance on the part of one or more family member or a pattern of divorce, remarriage, or other disruptions in relationships that change the balance within the family system- you are working with a difficult aging family

Sign Up for My Newest Free Webinar  

5 Ways to Tame the Turbulence of Holiday Meltdown in Aging Families

 

images_20141216-184443_1.jpg

 

 Save the Date FREE  WEBINAR : November 21, 2 PM-3 PM PST

 Learn how!

  • How to give hope to frantic children who call, after seeing their aging parent struggling with the rituals
  • How to sell services to desperate adult child callers
  • How to use GCM tools to contain Holiday chaos
  • How to use financial forecasting to prepare for growth during the holidays
  • How to work with both dysfunctional and long-distance families who call during the holidays

Sidestep the Many Care Managers Who Do not know how to work with Dysfunctional Aging Families and get the client to sign up with you

red-phone.jpg

  • SIGN UP NOW

 

 

Filed Under: Aging, Aging Family, aging family crisis, aging life business, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging therapist, Angela Jolie, Cut Off, Cut-Off, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Thanksgiving Parent crisis, Therapist Specializing in Aging, Webinar Tagged With: aging life and geraitric care manager, aging life care manager, aging life or geriatric care manager, aging parent crisis, Angelia Jolie's Dad, care manager, case manager, cut -off, dysfunctional aging family, geriatric social worker, Marriage and Family Therapist, nurse advocate

Contact

Use the form on the
Contact page to email Cathy.

Email

Connect with Cathy

Get Cathy’s “10 Critical Success Steps to a Profitable Aging Life or GCM Business”

  • Home
  • GCM Manual New 5th edition
  • Books »
  • Services »
  • About
  • Recommendations
  • Blog »
  • Contact

Copyright © 2012–2021 CressGCMConsult & Cathy Cress - Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management | Site Designed by Kissa's Kreations