Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

  • Home
  • Products
    • Speakers Bureau Package
    • GCM Manual New 5th Edition
    • VIP Care Management White Paper
    • Books
    • Geriatric Care Management – 4th Edition
    • Mom Loves You Best
    • Care Managers
  • Online Classes
    • GCM Operations Manual Online Course
    • Geriatric Care Management Business Online Course
    • CEUs for Individual Modules
  • Webinars
    • Upcoming Webinars
    • Past Webinars
  • Recommendations
  • About
  • Blog
    • Aging
    • Geriatric Care Manager
    • Siblings
    • Webinar
  • Contact

Please Elvis – We had a Blue Christmas

December 26, 2020

Dys-fam90264_CH22_FIG02.jpg

      

A Blue Christmas or Hannakka is what the dysfunctional family always has. Elvis gets them. He sings it for this joyless broken-hearted –yet furious- family. They have a blue holiday filled with memories of ruined, -maybe drunken- giftless pain while most holiday songs warble their celebration should be white.


And when those blue snowflakes start falling
That’s when those blue memories start calling
You’ll be doin’ all right with your Christmas of white
But I’ll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas

             You can’t be Elvis but here are some more steps a geriatric care manager can transform these families after they call on the holiday.

 

 

           

                        Identify intergenerational roles and conflicts: The GCM must ” get” existing power dynamics within the family, redefine responsibilities to move to generational maturity, and realign roles and tasks for each family member.

 

The GCM should encourage a new two-way nurturing relationship between the adult child and the aging parent that never existed. At the same time, the GCM must enable the adult child as a caregiver to set limits that are appropriate to a mature relationship  (a very hard redo) The GCM shapeshifts the adult child to identify and remove himself or herself from triangulated, fused, or other destructive family patterns that blue, blue Christmas

 

Sign Up for My Free January Webinar  

5 Vital Clinical Tools to Help Aging Dysfunctional Families-Post Horrid Holidays- 

             Thursday, January 21, 2021

  Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday  

 Join me and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stocking.      

Learn how to!

  • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
  • Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family
  • Master Vital Clinical Tools, you to solve client problems
  • Take Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families
  • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

    SIGN UP NOW

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

 

Filed Under: abusive aging parents, Aging, Aging Families and Disaster, Aging Family, aging family crisis, aging family system, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging therapist, Blog, borderline client, Borderline narcissistic family, Cut Off, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Dysfunctional Family System, entitled family, estranged elder parents and adult kids, estranged siblings, Families, fiscal abuse, Fiscal Elder Abuse, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, intergenerational conflict, nurse advocate, nurse care manager Tagged With: adult child, aging family dynamics, Blue Christmas, boundary in aging families, Clinical Tools for Aging Family, destructive family pattern, Dysfuctional Family system, dysfunctional family roles, fusion, geriatric care manager, older parents refusing care, triangulated aging family system, Triangulation

The 2 Deadliest US Sites of COVID-19 Nursing Homes & Prisons

May 2, 2020

PRISON INMATES AND NURSING HOME PATIENTS NOT  6FT APART – 6 FEET UNDER

70% of inmates in federal prisons have COVID-19.  In Kansas, the Lansing Correctional Facility had a riot of inmates over COVID-19 lack of care or protection  It took the rebellion to get the coronavirus testing PPE and care. The  Bureau of Prisons in Kansas confirmed finally that 79 staff have coronavirus and 88 prisons and prisoners dead.   

Older residents in nursing homes cannot rebel like prisoners. Many can’t even walk. The Atlantic Magazine just published an article, We are Killing Elders Now. The writer states “In at least six states, these fatalities account for half of all COVID-19 deaths, and according to the World Health Organization, half of all coronavirus fatalities in Europe have been traced to nursing homes too. Some of this mortality is linked to long-term-care facilities that are shoddily run or that violate health standards. But most of them are doing the best they can with what they have. And they don’t have much”.

KAISER FOUNDATION NURSING HOME STAFFING AND USE OF PPE NOT REQUIRED IN MOST STATES

Kaiser reports -Staff Screening. It is more common for states to recommend rather than require daily screening of staff for illness in NFs (24 states recommend, 16 states + DC require)

Use of PPE. More states recommend (23 states) than require (7 states + DC) staff to use PPE

 Two States that require testing for coronavirus of ALL  residents of nursing homes are  Maryland where 556 have died as of the Washington Post article. and Tennessee 

THE FEDS HAVE NO CMS FEDERAL GUIDELINES OR REPORTING

We have no federal guidelines for safety testing according to an article by the Kaiser Foundation

It is now estimated that 16,000 deaths have occurred in nursing homes and that is without the federal government revealing any numbers and not making available any testing. But the numbers are probably huge- if we could just do testing. 

CMS announced it would have a meeting of a “panel” of experts “ sometime at the end of May”. After probably 20,000 older people died and the feds did nothing this shows their sense of urgency about this pandemic’s national “elder cleansing”.

WHAT CONNECTS PRISONS AND NURSING HOMES – CONCENTRATION CAMPS

So, what is the connection between the viral spread of COVID-19 in nursing homes and prisons- 6 feet ? Prisoners and residents, in nursing homes, and prisons cannot social distance. Jails and prisons have human beings crammed together with no choice. Nursing homes have 2 beds or if you are on Medicaid three to a room. Neither group has a choice to social distance. They are ” concentrated” as in concentration camps or death camps.

Do SOMETHING – HELP NURSING HOMES PREVENT MORE CARNAGE

So, as someone who has spent her career in aging, I am calling out to everyone, especially professional in aging – do something. Since the feds appear to be doing little- call your congressman, write a letter to the editor.

BE KIND LIKE RACHEL MADDOW REPORTS LA JEWISH HOME LA WAS

Rachel Maddow suggests calling your local nursing homes and see what they need. Be kind like the LA Jewish Home was to a smaller nursing home LA Brier Oaks. They wanted to test their residents and had no tests and the larger LA Jewish Home had tests and shared them with the smaller as a good neighbor. What they found was ravaging but it also showed caring and generosity. Care and be generous and show the helpless elders in nursing homes in your town you are opposed to -nursing home being prisons or concentration camps.

Filed Under: 4th of july, 7 touches marketing, adult child physical abuse, Adult children, adult emotional abuse, ADULT SIBling, Aging, Aging Alcohol Abuse, Aging Community & Covid-19, Aging deaths, Aging Family, aging family crisis, aging life business, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging therapist, ALCA & Skilled Nursing Facility, ALCA Beneifits, ALCA business Loans, ALCA Cobtract, ALCA COVID-19 Crisis, ALCA Disaster Plan, ALCA Ethical Dilemma, ALCA Financial literacy, ALCA Products for COVID_19, ALCA sales, Alcohol Abuse and Aging, Angela Jolie, Aretha Franklin, Assisted Living, Assisted Living & Geriatric Care Managers, Assisted Living Crisis, Assisted Living sales, bankruptcy, Barack Obama, Benefits, Benefits of ALCA to Hospice, Benefits of Care Management, Benefits of Care Management to Hospice, Benefits of Geriatric Care Management, Benefits vs Features, Benifits & Assisted Living, Bill Clinton, billing, Billing 85%, billing 85% of GCM hours, Blog, borderline client, Borderline narcissistic family, borderline-narcissistic families, brand, branding, branding ALCA business, Branding GCM Business, cardiac care manager, care management market sizing, Care Management Products, care management start-up, care manager, Care Plan, caregiver, caregiver assessment, Caregiver Burn Out, caregiver burnout, caregiver mental health, CAREGIVER RESOUCES, case manager, Cash Clow, cash flow, cash glow, Choice to Move Elder, CIRCLE OF CARE, client database, Close The Sale, competition survey, Concierge aging clients, Concierge caregivers, Concierge Client, concierge clients, Concierge Senior, Conservator, Contract signed, coronavirus, Coronavirus emergency plan, coronavirus marketing, coronavirus quality of life virtual program, coronavirus shut down, Covid 19, Covid-19, Covid-19 Death Nursing Homes, Covid-19 Nursing Home, Cut Off, Cut-Off, database, Death and Dying Care Management, death and dying care manager, Dementia Activities, Dementia and Spirituality, DNR, Dr. Bill Thomas, dysfunctional aging familt, Dysfunctional Aging Familu, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Easter, Easter gifts Mom, elder abuse, elder care manager, elder fiscal abuse, elder mediator, Elderlaw Attorney, Elderly Disaster Plan, Emergency Plan, Emotional Quality of Life, Employees recognition, End of Life Care manager, End of life documents, entitled family, estranged siblings, ETHICAL DILEMMA, Ethical Will, Euology, failing business, Families, Features vs Benefits, Filial Crisis, fiscal abuse, Fiscal Elder Abuse, FREE MARKETING WEBINAR, FREE WEBINAR, GCM bankruptcy, GCM Benefits, GCM COACHING SKILLS, GCM Constract, GCM COVID 19 Crisis, GCM Disaster Plan, GCM Ethical Dilemma, GCM financial literacy, GCM Operations Manual, GCM products in COVID-19, GCM Speaker's Bureau, GCM Start -Up, GCM Start-Up, GCM technology, GCM Webinar, George Bush, Geriatric Assessment, Geriatric Care Management Business, geriatric care management emergency proceduress, geriatric care manager, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric care manager start up, Geriatric Care Managers & Assited Living, geriatric social worker, Grandchild gifts for grandma, Guardian, Hanukkah, Helping LBGTQ Elders, high end clients, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday on call, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Holiday season, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, Holidays, home care, Home care disaster plan, Home Care Emergency Coronavirus Plan, Home From the Hospital, Hospital care manager, Hurricane, Hurricane Irma, Hurricane Maris, ife care manager, Income inequality, infection control in SNS, innovative new senior centers, inquiry call, Intake, Intellectual Quality of Life, John Mc Cain, Jose, Late Life remarriage, Legacy Tools, Legal Guardian, LGTB elders, LGTBQ ELDERS, LGTBQ Loneliness& Isolation, living will, Loneliness, Long Distance Care, Long distance caregiver, Long Term Care Coverage, marketing, Marketing 4P's, Marketing aging life care, marketing ALCA /GCM, marketing care management, Marketing copy, Marketing data base, marketing geriatric care management, Marketing Home Care, marketing pitch, Marketing plan, Marketing to Assisted Living, marketing to concierge clients, marketing to conservators, marketing to guardians, marketing to long distance adult children, marketing to the top 10$, marketing to upper 10%, marketing to wealth managers, mediation, Medicare For All, midlife siblings, Mission, MONEY FOR GCM BUSINESS, Mother's Day, Mother's Day in Skilled Nursing, Move Management, moving parent in your home, Moving To CCRC, narcissistic client, Narcissistic Personality, Natasha Beauchamp, Nearly Normal Aging Family, new customers, New Year Resolutions, New Years, News, newsletters, Non-profit, Non-Profit adding Profit services, normal aging famiilies, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Nursing home abuse, Nursing Home Deaths, Nursing Home disaster plan, on-call staff, Oral History, paid caregiver, paid caregiver for concierge client, Palliative care manager, Pandemic, parent care, Partnership, Passover, patient advocate, Paying for Long term care, Poor Nursing home staffing, positioning, POST HOLIDAY CALLS, POST HOLIDAY SEASON, postioning, PR, Pre-Emptive Move, Presentations, Private Duty Home Care, Professional class retirees, Profit, profit in ALCA, Public Relations, Public Reltions, Quality of Life, Quality of Life for elders, Quality of Life in Dying, quality of life in senior centers, Quality of Life Virtual Program, Quality of Life Virtually, Quality of Life with Dementia, Rachel Maddow, Reminiscence Therapy, Respect, Sales, Sales in geriatric care management, Sales to Assisted Living, SBA business loan, Sell Sheet, selling a relationship, Selling ALCA Business, Selling GCM Business, Selling Your Business, Senior centers, Senior Drinking, Senior Isolation, Senior Legacy, Senior Loneliness, SIBLING, sibling rivalry, sibling sharing care, Siblings, Skilled Nursing Facility, SNF death COVID-19, Social Media, Social Media for Care managers, Social Media for eldercare, social media marketing, social media marketing campaign, Speaker's Bureau, speaker's buyreau, Speakers Bureau, Speaking to Adult Children, Spiritual Quality of Life, Stanford Hospital care manager, START UP, Stepmonster, Story Worth, Sweetheart scam, telemedicine, Thanking staff, Thanksgiving, THANKSGIVING BLOG, Thanksgiving Parent crisis, Therapist Specializing in Aging, Third Party Referral, Timeline, Town Hall, Transgender Elders, Trust Departments, Trust Officer, Uncovered Long Term Care, Uncovered MedicareServices, Universal Precaution, Valentines gifts for family caregivers, value proposition, value propostion, VIP marketing, VIP Products, VIP Syndrome, VIPS markeing, Wealth Management Departments, Wealth Managers, Webinar, Webinar ALCA GCM, Written Geriatric Assessment Tagged With: aging life care manager, aging parent crisis, case manager, Covid-19, COVID-19 prisons, death and dying in COVID-19, Federal Response To Covid-19, geriatric care manager, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, nursing home deaths, nursing home saftey, Prison death

What To Expect Narcissistic Entitled Families Who Call a Care Manager

March 10, 2020

 Four types of aging families, who can afford geriatric care management and private duty home care as they have the financial resources, will call you to inquire about your services. You need to have excellent clinical skills to manage these families.

Two are dysfunctional aging families who take extensive psychodynamic skills. One is the narcissistic entitled family.

Part of this is drawn from Claudia Fine formerly of Senior Bridge and Nick Newcombe excellent chapter ” Entitlement in the Aging Family”, Care Managers Working With the Aging Family, Jones, and Bartlett)

Narcissistic-Entitled Families:

Entitlement in these families usually develop from a specific kind of “not good enough parenting” in which the parents themselves have struggled with personality disorders. Typically, in this type of family, narcissistic borderline personality  .( example President Trump)the parent had a borderline personality that went undiagnosed or was formally diagnosed and untreated. The narcissistic or borderline parent essentially does not experience the child/children as separate and discreet from themselves and, moreover, uses the child/children to serve parental needs.  This parent-child relationship is characterized by severe boundary issues in which seduction and abandonment are ever-present dynamics and where emotional unpredictability and instability are constant.

What Will Take Your Great Clinical Skills With These Families?

Fine and Newcombe point out the adult child finds him or herself in is either of two categories. They can be elevated to the” perfect” child in the mental health challenged mother or father’s eyes, so that the parent feels worthwhile.
These children grow up to be your client’s family and the person who usually calls the care manager. If they hire you they are demanding because they are afraid if they are not inflexible with you they will get nothing from your services.worriedwoman300dpi-copy-e1425605439440.jpg
Or the second category where the child is devalued by the parent so that the narcissistic entitled mother or father feels superior ” perfect” and all-powerful. They will present, according, to Claudia Fine and Nick Newcombe, as needy and insatiable, and easily ” injured” by the care manager who is attempting to help them.

Both types of adult children who interact with you are frequently angry to care for the parent who never cared for them, gave little to them as a child, thus demanding and needy themselves. All this repulsion comes from never having a mother or dad who was there for them so in response will be difficult family caregivers to work with.

 ( Fine and Newcombe- Entitlement in the Aging Family, Care Managers Working With the Aging Family)

Free Webinar-Sales and Marketing to Find the VIP Concierge Client

March 31, 2020 -2PM -3:30 PM PST

Concierge Clients are the only way a GCM or ALCA care manager can make a profit and have their business thrive. Find out who are they, how you find them, manage them  design GCM Products they will purchase, and create a marketing plan and gold standard services to have them sign your contract and use your services long term

Learn

Who They Are- 4 Types

How to Locate them in your service area

How to create a strategic marketing plan to sell to them

How to Develop Gold Standard GCM Products and Services

 

SIGN UP NOW 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Aging, Aging Family, aging family crisis, aging life business, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Blog, borderline client, Borderline narcissistic family, borderline-narcissistic families, care manager, Concierge aging clients, Concierge Senior, dysfunctional aging familt, Dysfunctional aging family, elder care manager, entitled family, Families, Filial Crisis, FREE MARKETING WEBINAR, FREE WEBINAR, Geriatric Assessment, Geriatric Care Management Business, geriatric care manager, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, home care, narcissistic client, Narcissistic Personality, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, parent care, Sales to Assisted Living, Webinar Tagged With: adult children of borderline narcissistic VIP families, aging family, aging life care manager, aging parent care, aging parent crisis, Borderline VIP client, care manager, case manager, Certified Senior Advisors, geriatric care manager, Narcissistic client, nurse advocates, nurse care manager, well heeled seniors

Contact

Use the form on the
Contact page to email Cathy.

Email

Latest trending news

Connect with Cathy

Get Cathy’s “10 Critical Success Steps to a Profitable Aging Life or GCM Business”

  • Home
  • GCM Manual New 5th Edition
  • Books »
  • Services »
  • About
  • Recommendations
  • Blog »
  • Contact

Copyright © 2012–2023 CressGCMConsult & Cathy Cress - Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management | Developed by wpcustomify