Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

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10 Do’s &Don’ts Doing the Dysfunctional Family Calls Post Holidays

September 5, 2023

 

Most Calls for Care Managers Post Holidays

More than half of the aging families who call you inquiring about services will be dysfunctional families post-holidays. The great majority of calls will come from adult children. If you want to make the sale during the inquiry you have to know how to handle these dysfunctional family members on the phone and give them enough trust in you to sign your contract and give you a deposit for your services.

FIND OUT MORE 

How Do You Get Them To Trust You Enough to Sign Contract with Dysfunctional family Post holidays?

  1. Do Be Objective
  2. Do Use Active Listening
  3. Do Give them Hope you can solve their family problem
  4. Do a two-part inquiry and have the problem defined in the first part done by a skilled administrative Assistant
  5. Do study the problem before you do the second call and have exactly how you would solve the problem ready in a planned elevator speech
  6. Do a complimentary 30-minute consultation
  7. Do not give away the store but outline how you are an expert at solving the problems (moving, keeping at home, Alzheimer’s wandering and a bare outline of your solution
  8. Do not criticize dysfunctional family post-holidays
  9. Do not blame,
  10. Do not take sides if several family members points of view and express them

 

Sign Up for My Free January Webinar  

11 Vital Clinical Tools For Desperate Families Post-Holidays

             Thursday, Jan 6, 2022, 02:00 PM Pacific Time (US and Canada)

 

 

  Give frantic adult children hope using vital clinical tools when they desperately call after the holiday Join me Post-holiday and learn how to come to clinically rescue concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stocking.      

Learn how to!

  • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
  • Master 11 Vital Clinical Tools you to solve client problems
  • Take Six Clinical Steps Professional Must Take to Work with these Dysfunctional family post-holidays 
  • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

 SIGN UP NOW

 

 Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: adult child calls post holidays, Adult Child Caregiver Pain, Adult Child Pain, adult child pain-point, adult child physical abuse, Adult children, Adulyt Child Call Post holidays, Aging, aging family crisis, Aging family pain, aging life business, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Alarm Bells For Long Distance Family, ALCA Dysfunctional Family Help, Black, Black Aging Family, Black Entrepreneur, Black Entrepreneur RB, Black Entrepreneur RN, Black entrepreneurs, Black Geriatric Care Manager, Black geriatric care managers, Black RN, Black Travel Nurses, Blog, Care Management Inquiry Call, Caregiver Stress, Caregivers collapsing, Cash Clow, Concierge aging clients, Concierge Senior, Contract signed, Dysfunctional Aging Familu, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Dysfunctional Family Inquiry, Families, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, inquiry, inquiry call, Intake COVID-19, Make the Sale, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Sign Up Dysfunctional Aging Family, Sign Up GCM Client, Sysfuntional Family post holidays Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging life care manager, aging life inquiry, aging life or GCM inquiry, Black, black american geriatric care managers, black american social workers, Black caregivers, Black Entrepreneurs, Black geriatric care managers, Black Nurse Entrepreneurs, Black RN's, Black start-up geriatric care management, care manager, case manager, Clinical Tool dysfunctional family, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional Holiday, dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Concierge Family, Dysfunctional family post holidays, dysfunctional family roles, Dysfunctional VIP Family, geriatric care manager, help with dysfunctional family, Holiday Inquiry call, nurse care manager, Tools with Dysfunctional families, Working With Dysfunctional family

Dysfunctional Aging Family Adult Children Who Call You Where You Need Clinical Skills

August 22, 2023

3 Types of Dysfunctional Aging Family Children Calls

Where You Need Clinical Skills

# 1 Inquiry from a Narcissistic Adult Children

in  Aging Dysfunctional Family

Dysfunctional adult children who inquire about your services can be a tough sell. First, let’s- consider The narcissistic adult child from an aging dysfunctional family who calls for help and has an “it’s all about me” attitude. The aging parent and or a midlife sibling could be narcissists. With aging parents, all siblings may have resented this self-absorption of their family their entire lives and have a love/hate relationship with older parents. Siblings, the other brothers, and sisters resent this, especially with parent care.  The self-absorbed sibling either does not participate in solving sibling or aging family troubles but just makes them worse. They call after a disastrous holiday event like the coming  Labor Day family gathering and you need clinical skills to work with them

#2 Inquiry from Devalued Child Entitled but Servile Adult.

 

Dysfunctional adult children who call you about your services can include devalued adult children from the aging dysfunctional family calls you, you need clinical skills to work with them. 

As a kid, the adult child of a narcissistic parent was devalued in the parent’s eyes so that the now aging parent can feel superior and powerful in the world. These children mature into adults who are emotionally impoverished, inflexible, and needy.

As a geriatric care manager, the adult child presents as entitled. As clients, these adult children fear that unless they make inflexible demands, they will receive nothing. “ Get my mother into a concierge wing of a hospital by tomorrow”

An adult child of a narcissistic aging parent will present as nasty, aggressive, and devaluing of the service provider. Or they could be essentially insatiable and easily injured by the helping professional. The adult children of narcissistic entitled families are also often angry and frustrated at having to give care to a parent or parents whom they experienced as ungiving, demanding, intrusive, overpowering, and needy. They are members of an ultra-dysfunctional aging family. They call after a visit to aging parents and you need clinical skills to work with them 

# 3-Inquiry from Needy Adult Children in the Dysfunctional Aging Family

 The adult child who calls may be the needy adult child. Baby boomers must evolve beyond the needy child he or she has been, depending on aging parents’ fiscal,

emotional, and social support, to the adult who supports his parent. Adult Children of aging parents in the 21st century not only confront the delay of their own needs when their parent’s aging and reliance call them but confront their own future and very much more immediate loss of the central figure in their lives, their own parents.

Some don’t- especially in the dysfunctional aging family.

These adults feel starved for parental affection they never received and often seek affection from professionals and other people in their lives to compensate for the care they didn’t receive as children. They call after the holiday and you need clinical skills to work with them. 

These 3  types of adult children have clinical difficulties that are coping and defense mechanisms allowing them to adapt to a dysfunctional family. The care manager must enter the family system clinically to address the needs symptoms and defenses of the adult children to get care for the elder.

SIGN UP FOR MY FREE SEPTEMBER WEBINAR

Taming HBO Succession

11 Vital Clinical Tools For Dysfunctional Families

 

             Thursday, September 19

02:00 PM Pacific Time (US and Canada)

Find Out More 

  Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call this summer after they see their failing parent.  

 Join me and learn to clinically rescue concierge dysfunctional families made a summer visit to floundering Mom or Dad.      

SIGN UP FOR THIS WEBINAR  

Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family

Master 10 Clinical Tools Professionals Must Learn Before They Work with These Difficult Families
Learn how to solve dysfunctional family problems after you master these tools
Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist
Learn how to work with characters like Rupert Murdock & Logan Roy

Sign Up Now

 

 

 

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

t

 

 

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

Filed Under: Adult Child Pain, adult child pain-point, Adult Child Stress, Adult children, Aging, aging family crisis, aging family system, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging therapist, black care manager, black concieirge nurse, black concierge care manager, black concierge RN, Black Entrepreneur, Black entrepreneurs, Black Geriatric Care Manager, Black geriatric care managers, black travel nurse, Black Travel Nurses, Black Travel RN, Blog, borderline-narcissistic families, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional family, Concierge aging clients, Concierge caregivers, Devalued adult child, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family Inquiry, Dysfunctional Family System, elder fiscal abuse, Entited Family, Families, FREE WEBINAR, GCM Clinical Tools, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Narcissistic adult child, Needy Adult Child, nurse advocate, nurse care manager Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging family, aging life care manager, black american geriatric care managers, Black Entrepreneurs, Black geriatric care managers, Black Nurse Entrepreneurs, care manager, Clinical Tool dysfunctional family, Clinical Tools for Aging Family, Devalued Adult Child, dysfunctional, Entitled Adult Children, Entitled aging client, Entitled Family, free webinar, geriatric care managers, Ivanka Trump, Needy Adult Child, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, parent care crisis, Tools with Dysfunctional families

Rural Living Elders Greatest Risk to Perish in Massive Hawaii Fires

August 14, 2023

RURAL LIVING ELDERS AT GREAT RISK IN FIRES _ELDERLY 2XMORE LIKELY TO DIE IN FIRES

Rural Living elders are at great risk of fires. The U.S. Fire Administration estimates that older adults are more than twice as likely than the general population to die in fires. One-quarter of the Paradise residents, in the devastating fire that burnt down an entire California town in 2018, through PG&E Malfeasance had a disability which is double the statewide statistic. One geriatric care manager who lives there lost his home and practice trying to rescue a local older client.

Rural Living elders at great risk in fires

 

Rural Living elders at great risk in fires showed up again in the present Hawaii fire. The devastating Hawaii fire that just destroyed the entire town of Lahaina on Maui where over 90 people have now been found dead and this number is growing fast and 1000 are missing. This fire is rated above the Campfire which destroyed the town of Paradise in 2018. Many of those suspected dead in Lahaina are thought to be older people who could not escape quickly enough as it was a fire that was swept by Hurricane Dora’s 80-mile-an-hour winds spread the fire so fast that many many just could not escape. Lionel Montalvo, retired fire chief in Lahaina, said that many dead elderly would be found 

Decades of research confirm that the physical limitations that accompany advanced age make it much more difficult to escape disaster, but so do the social isolation and stubbornness that experts say is common among the elderly.

BREATHING PROBLEMS FOR SENIORS UBER RISK IN FIRES

The elderly are at the greatest risk for fire-related breathing problems according to the CDC.So if they just live in fire-prone areas and do not lose their home the very air they breathe can make them ill or actually kill them. Wildfire smoke can in the worst cases be deadly, especially among older people. Studies have shown that when waves of smoke hit, and patients experience respiratory problems, heart attacks, and strokes.

In 23 counties, older Californians overwhelmingly choose to live in fire-prone areas. Including in San Luis Obispo County, where 82% do live in rural areas.

Rural Living elders are at great risk of fires. That means nearly 2 million older Californians live in areas where wildfire is a formidable threat. It is not only the elderly who are losing homes in these rural Forest fires but those in facilities.

According to NPR in San Francisco, there are more than 10,000 long-term care facilities in California, from six-bed assisted living homes to large nursing centers.

Their analysis found that 35% of these facilities are in risky areas. With as many as 105,000 residents to safeguard if fire comes, these care home operators must now consider how to evacuate during a pandemic, a more complicated and difficult task.

California is aging faster than the rest of the country. In 10 years, the state projects the number of people over 65 will grow to 8.6 million.

RURAL LIVING ELDERS AT GREAT RISK IN FIRES SANTA CRUZ COUNTY FIRES TURNED REDWOODS INTO INFERNOS

In Santa Cruz, California, where my home and my home office are located wildfires in our Santa Cruz mountain forest burnt down 25 % of our county in 2020.  Of the two most damaged areas in the county was Bonnydoon, a rural area overlooking the Pacific which is very beautiful and rural. Among the many senior facilities damaged was Brookdale Senior Living which was evacuated due to smoke damage and inhalation by residents. They had to send patients to the Bay area, and in the Brookdale case, frail confused elders were sleeping on cots close to each other, risking COVID-19 and exacerbating their confusion, according to one daughter who moved her mother to her home in Santa Cruz permanently.

ELDERS COLLIDE WITH CLIMATE CHANGE

“There is absolutely a colliding of the events of both population aging and climate change,” said the University of South Florida gerontologist Kathryn Hyer. The elderly population represents 1/5 of our population and growing. Climate disasters as we can see from one climate catastrophe after another this year -like the Maui fire explode in power and frequency. According to the EPA, these colliding statistics are a formula for a disaster in a disaster.

Climate change is having a significant impact on wildfires according to the National Oceanic &Atmospheric Administration 

Rural Living elders a great risk of fires and it is only getting hotter, harder to breathe more dangerous for all worldwide US residents reflected in the heat wave in Arizona and Texas with a high-risk population of aging individuals but radically  more so for elders, who are number 1 in health problems and live at home or in facilities in the middle of these mammoth forests, turned into infernos of death

 

 

Filed Under: Aging Families and Disaster, aging family crisis, Aging Life Care, ALCA Disaster Plan, Assisted Living Crisis, Black Entrepreneur RB, Black Entrepreneur RN, Black Geriatric Care Manager, Black geriatric care managers, Black RN, black social worker, black travel nurse, Black Travel Nurses, Blog, Climate change catastropes, Climate Change Fires, COVID-19 & Wildfire, Disaster, Disaster 2020, ELDER FIRE RIsk, Elderly Disaster Plan, Fire Risk to Elders Climate Change, FIRES, GCM Disaster Plan, Hawaii Fires, Hawaii wildfires, Home care disaster plan, Home Care Emergency Coronavirus Plan, Maui wildfire Elder deaths, Maui Wildfires, Nursing Home disaster plan, Paradise Fire, Rural Elder Fire Risk, Rural Elders and Climate Change Risk, Rural Elders Risk Fire Death, Santa Cruz Fires, Trump Administration, WESTERN FIRES, Wildfire risk and elders, Wildfire Tornados Tagged With: aging life care manager, aging parent care, aging parent crisis, Bonniedoon fire, Breathing Problems in fires, California wildfires, care manager, case manager, crisis with aging parents, Elder risk in fires, Hawaii Fires, Lahaina fire, Long Term Facilities Risk Fires, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, preparing for a disaster, Rural Aging & Wildfires, Rural Elders at Risk 4 Fire, Rural Fires in West, Rural Risks in Wildfires, Santa Cruz Wildfires, Trump response Ca Wildfires, Western fires & Elders, wildfires in west

4 Dysfunctional Family Markers Clinicians Face

August 2, 2023

 

The normal family is the hand grenade compared to the nuclear bomb of the dysfunctional family

When both are faced with a filial crisis of aging parents being dependent and the adult child needs to take over they cower or explode.

How Do You Know a Dysfunctional Family

1. They lack the ability to resolve conflicts

The dysfunctional family has frequent psycho-social blockages that prevent the family from growing emotionally. They fail miserably at moving through all family stages and orchestrating family rituals. The adult children both love and hate their parents

2. They Cannot make Life transitions

In each dysfunctional family most life transitions in the family, like birth, adolescence, and marriage have been very difficult to make, marked by a lack of support from the parents. Every holiday, family reunion, funeral any family gathering might be drunkenly ruined. The parental figures are usually not in charge, nurturing, or able to establish establishes clear rules. They have never created an Excel spreadsheet on tasks to do to orchestrate a holiday. Like a disease spreading down generations, they never knew how happily celebrate anything together, as their parents wrecked ritual occasions as well.

3. There are murky roles in the  family

 

The chief role of the parent is characterized by a lack of leadership in the family and the ability to nurture the children. Mom rarely became the high priestess at the summer family reunion or the memorial day picnic when everyone gathers at her house or any family ritual gathering. The family members generally do not believe the parent is there for them and can be depended upon. The concierge’s dysfunctional family is colored by bloody strained relationships and unresolved conflicts and ruined ritual memories.

 

4. They inspire great literature

The family is the inspiration for great literature. O’Neil’s wrenching play A Long Day’s Journey into Night” portray the most miserable of dysfunctional families. Alcohol, drugs, and secrets that have been kept by all for generations splatter the pages of this great play mirroring all the ruined family ritual celebrations -children of dysfunctional families recall with horror.  Award-winning plays and films, like Tracey Letts August in Osage County about a ruined ritual funeral from hell when Julia Roberts tries to beat up drug-addled, drunk presiding mother Meryl Streep, or Succession Where a Narcissistic Dad pits his adult children against each other to succeed  him when he dies

ed6855aa32d877d7fc1ef9ee757e0f17-98.jpgRituals Bring Out the Worst in Family

In a dysfunctional family when an aging  Mom does not make the very small things she was able to pull off like the Latkes or the Christmas cookies, the Memorial Day family Reunion or big things like the daughter’s wedding, someone has got to take over or be and family organize or r the successor to Mom, and resentments skyrocket – tempers flare – and the torch just might never get passed.

The family is again thrown into crisis.

That means someone in the tribe has to take over -yet the dysfunctional family has no model or spreadsheet for any transition in power. They cannot pull off any ritual celebrations or even family Taco Tuesdays. Most critically when the rudderless head of the family needs care, these adult children cannot care for a parent who did not care for them. Succession is about the transition of power in the family.

Sign Up for My September Webinar on Working With the Dysfunctional Family

 

 11 Clinical Steps to Work with Dysfunctional Families-

Tuesday, 2:00-3:30 PM

September 16, 2023

 Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday 

Join me 

and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stockings.

Learn how to:

Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders

 

Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family 

 

Master the 5 Clinical Tools – you need – to solve these problems with your clients

 

 

 

 

 

 

Learn Six Steps Professionals Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families

Sign -Up Now 

 

 

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel                                                                  Geriatric Care 1

Learn more about how to work with the dysfunctional family in Handbook of Geriatric Care Management 5th edition 

 

Filed Under: adult child pain-point, adult child physical abuse, Adult children, Aduly Child Stress, Aging, Aging Family, aging family crisis, aging life business, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Black, Black Aging Family, Black Entrepreneur, Black Entrepreneur RB, Black Entrepreneur RN, Black entrepreneurs, Black Geriatric Care Manager, Black geriatric care managers, Black RN, Black Travel Nurses, Blog, case manager, Cut Off, Dysfunctional Aging Familu, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Families, Geriatric Care Management Business, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Holiday season, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, Holidays, nurse advocate, nurse care manager Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging life care manager, boundaries dysfunctional families, care manager, case manager, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional Holiday, Dysfunctional Concierge Family, dysfuntional family, geriatric care manager, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Long Days Journey Into Night, nurse care manager

Sell GCM or ALCA to wealth managers?

July 13, 2023

 

 

 

What makes 3rd Parties Like Wealth Managers Refer to Care Managers?

Do you want to sell to wealth managers? Why would third parties like wealth managers trust officers, sell to  GCM or ALCA by referring clients to a care manager If you have an Aging Life or GCM business you need to know. It is the benefits you bring to the 3rd party and their aging client.

Benefits you bring to the 3rd party and their aging client.

Clients in the upper 5% of income will call you because their wealth manager or bank trust officers referred them. But the wealth manager needs to know what benefits you offer them and their clients if they are to make referrals to your agency. On the feeding chain of referrals, they are one of your most important sources to feed income for your business. because these clients can pay privately for many years with their mammoth incomes and investment. You have to deliver what benefit you promises sell Benefits, not Features to Wealth Managers to Grow Your$ Bottom Line

Sell benefits not features to wealth managers is a key to great marketing. Do you know how you do that? When you market Geriatric care management, what makes the final sale is ” What’s in it for me the 3rd party. “Benefits answer that question for your targets. Learn how to make a great marketing presentation and sale to 3rd parties, like wealth managers or bank trust Departments, by understanding the benefits geriatric care management brings to them and the rest of your target audiences.

 

[Read more…]

Filed Under: 3rd party targets, ALCA Beneifits, ALCA Marketing, Benefits, Benefits of Care Management, Benefits of Care Management to Hospice, Benefits of Geriatric Care Management, Benefits to Conservators, Benefits to ElderLaw, Benefits to Guardians, Benefits to Third Parties, Benefits to Trusts, Benefits to wealth managers, Benefits vs Features, black care manager, black concieirge nurse, black concierge care manager, black concierge RN, Black Entrepreneur, Black Entrepreneur RB, Black Entrepreneur RN, Black entrepreneurs, Black Geriatric Care Manager, Black RN, black RN care manager, black social worker, black travel nurse, Blog, Cathy Cress MSW, Close The Sale, Concierge Care Manager, concierge top 10%, Conservator, Features vs Benefits, FREE MARKETING WEBINAR, FREE WEBINAR, GCM Sales, GCM Webinar, geriatric care manager, geriatric care manager start up, Make the Sale, marketing, Marketing aging life care, Marketing features and benefits, marketing geriatric care management, marketing pitch, Marketing Plan for Concierge Clients, Marketing Strategy, marketing to conservators, marketing to edlerlaw attorneys, marketing to guardians, marketing to the top 10$, Marketing to top 5% Tagged With: aging family, aging life care manager, aging parent care, aging parent crisis, benefits of ALCA, Benefits Of Geriatric Care Managers, benefits to 3rd parties, Benefits to Wealth Managers, Benefits VIP Clinets, care manager, Features and Benefits, Features and Benefits of GCM, geriatric care manager, marketing to wealth manager, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Sell Benefits, wealth managers, webinar Benefit or Features, Webinar Features and Benefits

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