Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

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What Happens When High Priestess of the Holidays Falls off her Throne?

December 13, 2021

 

Mothers are the high priestess of the ritual- like Queen Elizabeth without servants.

This sets up a filial crisis as women age. The UK estimated that there are 25 to-do’s women have on the holiday. It takes years to accumulate objects ritual dishes and religious objects used. It takes the left side of your brain executive skills, plans and organize, remember details, does things based on your experience. This eventually leads to a filial crisis and passing the torch.

Holidays are often done on autopilot

Women as they age –recalling all the jobs that must be done year after year get worn down in their assigned role as ” Mothers are the high priestess of the ritual.”

 It also takes their IADLs- (Instrumental Activities of Daily Living) meal planning, shopping, plus ambulation. Then add depression – widowhood, loss and you have the challenges of aging in managing these entire titanic rituals mothers are assigned by society.  Many times the aging Mom can no longer balance all these plates and the holidays shatter with the crashing ritual dishes.

When Mom Cannot do all the Holiday Preparation a Filial Crisis Occurs

 

Then the torch has to be passed and an adult child (usually an adult daughter must take over to resolve this filial crisis. This passing the torch is like secession, – Princess Elizabeth taking over for her Dad, King George, (who hated it and had a lifelong stutter) made famous in The King’s Speech who was handed the throne by his brother Edward who quit being king.   

WhenMom needs to Pass the Torch-Some  Baby Boomers Kids Shocked

Baby boomer-adult children and aging parents are unprepared by their own culture for this new developmental phase of passing the torch. They do not expect it as they did

the nights of the crying newborn or the rebellious teen, and are thrown off balance by the sometimes sudden and usually unexpected loss of their anchoring aging parents, when they find elderly mom is unable to pull off running the holidays  Indeed, what must happen in this new developmental phase is that the adult child must evolve beyond the needy child, he or she has been, depending on his or her parents for that fiscal, emotional, social support and ritual organizing parents, like managing the officiating over the Christmas or Hanukkah celebration and take on filial responsibility to avoid a filial crisis.

 Geriatric Care Manager to the Rescue

In the normal healthy family system this filial crisis of Holiday rituals can be overcome and the adult children with the brief help of an aging life or geriatric care manager they can let go of their former dependent roles and confront their parent’s loss by organizing and providing care. They can take over Christmas and Hanukkah by stepping in and grabbing that torch.

Geriatric care managers understand that the adult child must transition to what social work pioneer Margaret Blenkner labeled the filial crisis to filial maturity or a new mature state where they, as midlife adults, can give up their former roles as dependent, needy children and start to provide care to their old/old parents.

Dysfunctional Family Do Not Want to Take Over for Mom

In the dysfunctional aging family, this filial crisis is incredibly hard to trounce from both the parents’ and the adult child’s point of view. They really need a geriatric care manager’s services

Sign Up for My Free January Webinar  

11 Vital Clinical Tools For Desperate Families Post-Holidays

             Thursday, Jan 6, 2022, 02:00 PM Pacific Time (the US and Canada)

 

  Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday  

 Join me Post-holiday and learn how to come to clinically rescue concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stocking.      

Learn how to!

  • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
  • Master 11Vital Clinical Tools you to solve client problems
  • Take Six Clinical Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families
  • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

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  1.  

    Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

     

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Want new Concierge Clients? Treat Adult-Child Caregiver Pain

October 13, 2021

Join Me in My Latest Free Webinar

How to Sign Up New Client When VIP  Adult Child Caregiver  Calls In Pain   

November  2th 2021

Time 2:PM PST -3:30

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Learn in this webinar:
Why adult Children Purchase Products to Sooth Their Pain with Aging Parent

Why Adult Children Purchase Products that Answer Their Pain with Aging Parent

Why Sell VIP Products rather than Geriatric Care Management
Why VIP GCM Clients prefer GCM Products
How to Develop a 4 Season Menu of Products

VIP Products to Add to your Menu of Services

VIP services to Add to your Products

Sign Up 

Filed Under: aging family crisis, Aging family pain, aging life business, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, Aging Life Products, Aging Mother, Aging therapist, ALCA Concierge, Black Entrepreneur, Black Entrepreneur RB, Black Entrepreneur RN, Black Geriatric Care Manager, Black RN, Black Travel RN, Blog, caregiver pain, caregiver pain point, Closing an ALCA sale, Concierge aging clients, Concierge Care Manager, Concierge caregivers, Concierge Client, Concierge Geriatric Care Manager, Concierge Marketing, Concierge Products, Dementia, Family Caregiver, family caregiver pain, GCM Webinar, geriatric care manager products, geriatric social worker, inquiry, Intake, Webinar, Webinar ALCA GCM Tagged With: Adult Child Pain, aging family, aging life care manager, aging life or geriatric care manager, aging parent care, aging parent crisis, ALCA CEU's, black american geriatric care managers, black american social workers, Black Entrepreneurs, Black Nurse Entrepreneurs, Black start-up geriatric care management, Black travel nurses, Care Management Business Course, Care Management Nurses, care manager, Care Manager as Pain reliever, case manager, concierge aging clients, Concierge Care management, Family Caregiver Pain, Finding Concierge Clients, geriatric care manager, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Pain, Sign Up New Clients, Webinar Sign -Up Clients, Webinar Sign Up GCM Clients, Webinar VIP Clients

Sign Up for My Free January Webinar on Dysfunctional Aging Family

January 14, 2021

5 Vital Clinical Tools to Help Aging Dysfunctional Families-Post Horrid Holidays- 

  Thursday, January 21, 2021

              2:00 3:20 Pacific Standard Time

  Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday

 Join me and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found only coal in their stocking.

Learn how to!

  • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
  • Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family 
  • Master Vital Clinical Tools, you to solve client problems
  • Take Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families
  • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

 SIGN UP NOW

Filed Under: abusive aging parents, adult child physical abuse, Adult children, adult emotional abuse, Aging, Aging Alcohol Abuse, Aging Family, aging family and COVID, aging family crisis, aging family system, aging life business, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging Mother, Aging therapist, Blog, Borderline narcissistic family, Caregiver Burn Out, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional families, Concierge aging clients, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Dysfunctional Family System, elder mediator, Families, Filial Crisis, GCM Webinar, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric care manager, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, Move Management, narcissistic client, Narcissistic Personality, nurse care manager, POST HOLIDAY SEASON, Post holidays aging dysfunctional family, Sibling Strife Christmas, Sibling Strife Holidays, Siblings, Stepmonster, Symptoms Dysfunctional Family, Webinar, Webinar ALCA GCM Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging life care manager, aging parent care, aging parent crisis, boundaries dysfunctional families, care manager, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional Holiday, dysfunctional family roles, geriatric care manager, help with dysfunctional family, nurse care manager, Tools with Dysfunctional families

Why Do Adult Children Hate and Love Parents in Aging Dysfunctional Family?

January 11, 2021

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The aging dysfunctional family takes an expert to tackle because violence can break out at any time. In the film version of Tracy Letts  August in Osage County. Julia Roberts (the eldest daughter) attacks Meryl Streep (the pill-popping aging mother) at a ritual family gathering- the elder Dad’s funeral after he commits suicide.

 In the dysfunctional family, there have been symptoms of problems such as alcohol abuse, drug abuse, child abuse, or emotional abuse, like the demeaning mother the character Meryl Streep plays in August in Osage County. These dysfunctions usually create barriers to nurturing and this affects everyone in the family system.

The family system is also marked by ambivalence and all adults and children live in a love-hate relationship with other family members. (Julia Roberts character and all the daughter both love and revile their mother ).

 As systems resist change, it is even more difficult for members of the dysfunctional family to move to make changes when their parent needs care, like Meryl Streep does in August in Osage County. Julia Roberts and none of the daughters will care for their despised mother.

 The nearly normal system is shaken to its core by the parent being dependent. However, a care manager can guide the family members into reorganizing their family roles when the parent can no longer act as head of the family, while acknowledging the shift and changes they need to make both emotionally and practically. 

The members of the dysfunctional family who may have experienced a lack of nurturing by their parent and have no role model of caring. They are angry and resentful at caring for the parent, and thus will find it difficult to provide the practical and emotional care that their aging parent needs. The challenge to the adult child of the dysfunctional family is how to meet the dependency needs of the here and now old-old parent when the parent did not meet them dependency needs as a child.  That is why they need a highly experienced Geriatric Care Manager who can work with dysfunctional aging families.

 The challenge to the care manager is to bring the adult child of the dysfunctional family into the here and now and see their parents for who they are- an aging dependent person, flawed and imperfect, but a human being who needs their love, support and nurturing.

 

 

Sign Up for My Free January Webinar  

             Thursday, January 21, 2021

  Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday  

 Join me and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stocking.      

Learn how to!

  • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
  • Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family
  • Master Vital Clinical Tools you to solve client problems
  • Take Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families
  • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

 SIGN UP NOW

 

 

Find out more on my YouTube Channel:  Geriatric Care 1 

 

 

 

Filed Under: adult child physical abuse, adult emotional abuse, Aging, aging family crisis, aging family system, aging life business, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging Mother, Aging therapist, Blog, Dysfunctional Aging Familu, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Dysfunctional Family Inquiry, Dysfunctional Family System, estranged siblings, Families, fiscal abuse, Fiscal Elder Abuse, GCM Webinar, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Long Distance Care, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, POST HOLIDAY CALLS, Siblings, Sign Up Dysfunctional Aging Family, Webinar, Webinar ALCA GCM Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging life and geriatric care management, aging life care management, aging life care manager, aging parent, aging parent crisis, care manager, caregiver assessment, case manager, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional Holiday, dysfunctional aging family, geriatric care manager, Holidays with midlife siblings, nurse care manager, Tools with Dysfunctional families, Violence Dysfunctional Family, Working With Dysfunctional family

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