Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

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Ten Warning Signs You Are Working With a Dysfunctional Family

November 3, 2022

Working with Dysfunctional Family

Ten Warning Signs you are Working with Dysfunctional Family represents critical information to share with long-distance caregivers before their holiday visit. Do you know them? They include contentiousness, anger, and cut off and all are listed below. These clinical issues give the visiting caregiver signs that they need to call a care manager and you the care manager the most challenging job of an aging professional. What you have to know is family system theory and be clinically skilled in entering this treacherous family system – to get care for an older person

1. Contentiousness – Old fights erupt; the siblings and parents get into arguments with one another about an old issue

2. Anger – Siblings and family members express physical anger, emotional abuse, financial abuse

3. Distancing & cut off – Some siblings or parents have nothing to do with family and may not speak to parents or siblings for long periods of time.

Ten Warning Signs You are Working with the  Dysfunctional Family – Fusion, Denial, Triangulation, Entitlement

4. Fusion – Siblings and family members, such as the mother and eldest daughter, blend into one another, For example, the daughter sounds, acts, and has the same prejudices as the mother. . Think of the media’s portrayal of Lindsay Lohan and her mother.

5. Denial – Adult siblings do not see a decline in a parent, do not face reality, and do not take care of parent if he or she needs care.                           

6. Triangulation – Tension between two family members or siblings causes one to enlist a third family member or sibling to avoid change For example, two adult sibling object to the cost of care of an aging parent. They gang up on the third adult sibling who thinks the cost of care is reasonable and justified.

7. Sense of Entitlement – Siblings who are accustomed to purchasing services need not personally solve their own, children’s siblings or parents’ problems. This lack of engagement leaves them, unprepared and unwilling in getting involved in solving family tribulations.

Ten Warning Signs You Are Working with a Dysfunctional Family – Narcissism, Needy Adult Siblings, Substance Abuse, and Cut Off

8. Narcissism – One or more siblings has an “it’s all about me” attitude and

other siblings resent this. The self-absorbed sibling either does not participate

9. Needy Adult Siblings – These adult siblings feel starved for affection and often seek affection from professionals and other people in their lives for compensation for the care they didn’t receive as children.

10 . Substance and Other Abuse – The family and siblings have a history of drug, alcohol, and/or child abuse.

If this fits you you and your aging parent needs care may need to contact a geriatric care manager.

SIGN UP FOR MY HOLIDAY WEBINAR –

 

Get Ready for the Holiday Rush

Get Ready for the Holiday Rush

WEDNESDAY, November 16th, 2022, FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST

 Learn how to create!

  • Pre-Holiday Social media campaigns to reach worried caregivers
  • Pre- Holiday-Materials about the warning signs that a parent needs help
  • Pre-Holiday Marketing to help you sign up families who might face a serious decline in aging parents
  • How to sell services to desperate post-holiday callers from Normal dysfunctional & long-distance family
  • How to use tools to contain holiday chaos & arrange care in festive family fright
  • How to move the family to New Year’s stability
  • Know The Ten Warning Signs you are working with a dysfunctional family and position Your Agency ahead of Care Managers who do not have great pre-holiday marketing campaigns and lack the clinical skills how to work with Adult Children and families during the chaotic aging family holiday visit when adult kids find their aging parents need care
  • Featuring

 Cathy Cress MSW author of the Handbook of Geriatric Care

Management     

Find Out More 

 

 

 

  • Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

 

Filed Under: abusive aging parents, adult child physical abuse, Adult children, aging family crisis, aging family system, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, Aging therapist, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family Inquiry, Dysfunctional Family System, elder abuse, elder care manager, elder fiscal abuse, elder mediator, entitled family, estranged siblings, FREE WEBINAR, GCM COACHING SKILLS, geriatric care manager, geriatric care manager start up, midlife siblings, Siblings Tagged With: adult children of borderline narcissistic VIP families, aging family, black american geriatric care managers, black american social workers, Black Entrepreneurs, Black geriatric care managers, Black RN's, Black start-up geriatric care management, Black travel nurses, blaming familiy members, boundaries dysfunctional families, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional Holiday, cut -off, cut-off sibling, dysfunctional aging family, geriatric care manager, help with dysfunctional family, midlife siblings, Narcissistic Personality, sibling, Substance abuse in the elderly

Last Day to Sign Up Webinar -Sell Benefits Not Features to Wealth Managers

September 26, 2022

 Sell Benefits, not Features to Wealth Managers to Grow Your$ Bottom Line

Sell benefits not features to wealth manager is a key to great marketing. Do you know how you do that? &When you market Geriatric care management, what makes the sales is ” What’s in it for me the 3rd party. “Benefits answer that question for your targets. Learn how to make a great marketing presentation and sale to 3rd parties, like wealth managers, elder law attorneys, Assisted Living Directors, Trust Departments, and Concierge Physicians by understanding the benefits geriatric care management brings to each and the rest of your target audiences.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: 3rd party targets, Aging, Aging Family, aging family crisis, aging family system, aging life business, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, ALCA Marketing, Benefit of Assisted Living, Benefits, Benefits & Assisted Living, Benefits of Care Management, Benefits of Geriatric Care Management, Benefits to wealth managers, Benefits vs Features, Benifits & Assisted Living, black care manager, black concieirge nurse, black concierge care manager, black concierge RN, Black Entrepreneur, Black Entrepreneur RB, Black Entrepreneur RN, Black entrepreneurs, Black Geriatric Care Manager, black social worker, black travel nurse, Black Travel Nurses, Blog, case manager, Close The Sale, Closing a GCM Sale, Closing an ALCA sale, Concierge aging clients, Concierge Care Manager, Concierge caregivers, Concierge Client, concierge clients, Concierge Geriatric Care Manager, Concierge Marketing, Concierge Personal GCM, Concierge Physican, Concierge Senior, Concierge Wealth Managers, elder abuse, elder care manager, Entited Family, entrepreneur, entrepreneur business, entrepreneur care manager, entrepreneur RN, Features vs Benefits, Find VIP White Paper, Fiscal Elder Abuse, FREE MARKETING WEBINAR, FREE WEBINAR, GCM Benefits, GCM Perna Concierge, GCM Personal Concierge, GCM WORKING WITH VIP CLIENT, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, Marketing aging life care, marketing care management, marketing to concierge clients, marketing to the top 10$, Narcissistic Personality, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Trust Departments, Trust Officer, VIP Aging Client, VIP Benefits, VIP Client, VIP Clients, VIP Concierge Client, VIP CONCIERGE CLIENTS, VIP marketing, VIP Marketing Plan, VIP Products, VIP Public Relations, VIP Sales, VIP Syndrome, VIP Weallth Manager, VIP White paper, VIPS markeing, Wealth Management Departments, Wealth Managers, Webinar Tagged With: aging family, aging life care manager, aging parent care, aging parent crisis, Benefits, benefits of ALCA, Benefits Of Geriatric Care Managers, benefits to 3rd parties, black american geriatric care managers, black american social workers, Black Nurse Entrepreneurs, Black RN's, Black travel nurses, care manager, case manager, dysfunctional aging family, Entitled Family, geriatric care manager, marketing to wealth manager, Narcissism, Narcissistic Personality, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, reaching top 10% elder, Wealth Management Banks, wealthy clients

Know the 3 Dysfunctional Aging Family Adult Children Who Call Post Holiday?s

January 4, 2022

3 Types of Dysfunctional Adult Children Call You After Holidays When you Need Clinical Skills to Work with these Callers

# 1 Inquiry from Narcissistic Adult Child in Dysfunctional Family

– The narcissistic adult child from the aging dysfunctional family who calls for help has an “it’s all about me” attitude. The aging parent and or a midlife sibling. could be narcissists. With aging parents, all siblings may have resented this self-absorption their entire lives and have a love/hate relationship with older moms or dads. With siblings, the other brothers and sisters resent this, especially with parent care.  The self-absorbed sibling either does not participate in solving sibling or aging family troubles but just makes them worse. They call after the disastrous holiday season and you need clinical skills to work with them

#2 Inquiry from Devalued Child Entitled but Servile Adult.

 

The devalued adult child from the aging dysfunctional family calls you after the holidays you need clinical skills to work with them. 

As a kid, the adult child of a narcissist parent was devalued in the parent’s eyes so that the now aging parent can feel superior and powerful in the world. These children mature into adults who are emotionally impoverished, inflexible, and needy.

As a geriatric care manager, the adult child presents as entitled. As clients, these adult children fear that unless they make inflexible demands, they will receive nothing. “ Get my mother into a concierge wing of a hospital by tomorrow”

An adult child of a narcissistic aging parent will present as nasty, aggressive, and devaluing of the service provider. Or they could be essentially insatiable and easily injured by the helping professional. The adult children of narcissistic entitled families are also often angry and frustrated at having to give care to a parent or parents whom they experienced as ungiving, demanding, intrusive, overpowering, and needy. They are members of an ultra dysfunctional aging family. They call after the holiday and you need clinical skills to work with them 

# 3-Inquiry from needy adult children in the dysfunctional aging family

 The adult child who calls may be the needy adult child. Baby boomers must evolve beyond the needy child he or she has been, depending on aging parents fiscal,

emotional, and social support, to the adult who supports his parent. Adult Children of aging parents in the 21st century not only confront the delay of their own needs when their parent’s aging and reliance call them but confront their own future and very much more immediate loss of the central figure in their lives, their own parents.

Some don’t- especially in the dysfunctional aging family.

These adults feel starved for parental affection they never received and often seek affection from professionals and other people in their lives to compensate for the care they didn’t receive as children. They call after the holiday and you need clinical skills to work with them. 

These 3  types of adult children have clinical difficulties that are coping and defense mechanisms allowing them to adapt to a dysfunctional family. The care manager must enter the family system clinically to address the needs symptoms and defenses of the adult children to get care for the elder.

You Need Clinical Care Management Skills to Work With These Clients

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Two Days Left to Sign Up for My Free January Webinar

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 11 Clinical Steps to Work with Dysfunctional Families-Post Holidays –

Thursday, January 6 2022 2:00-3:30 Pacific 

 

Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday

 

Join me 

and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stockings.

 

 Learn how to:

Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders

ed6855aa32d877d7fc1ef9ee757e0f17-98.jpg

 

Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family 

 

Tools for the Aging Dysfuntional family

Master the 5 Clinical Tools – you need – to solve these problems with your clients

 

Learn Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families

 

Sign -Up Now  

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

Filed Under: Adult children, Aging, aging family crisis, aging family system, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging therapist, Blog, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional family, Devalued adult child, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family Inquiry, Dysfunctional Family System, elder fiscal abuse, Entited Family, Families, FREE WEBINAR, GCM Clinical Tools, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Narcissistic adult child, Needy Adult Child, nurse advocate, nurse care manager Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging family, aging life care manager, care manager, Clinical Tool dysfunctional family, dysfunctional, Entitled aging client, free webinar, geriatric care managers, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, parent care crisis, Tools with Dysfunctional families

Sign Up for My Free January Webinar on Dysfunctional Aging Family

January 14, 2021

5 Vital Clinical Tools to Help Aging Dysfunctional Families-Post Horrid Holidays- 

  Thursday, January 21, 2021

              2:00 3:20 Pacific Standard Time

  Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday

 Join me and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found only coal in their stocking.

Learn how to!

  • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
  • Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family 
  • Master Vital Clinical Tools, you to solve client problems
  • Take Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families
  • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

 SIGN UP NOW

Filed Under: abusive aging parents, adult child physical abuse, Adult children, adult emotional abuse, Aging, Aging Alcohol Abuse, Aging Family, aging family and COVID, aging family crisis, aging family system, aging life business, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging Mother, Aging therapist, Blog, Borderline narcissistic family, Caregiver Burn Out, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional families, Concierge aging clients, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Dysfunctional Family System, elder mediator, Families, Filial Crisis, GCM Webinar, Geriatric Care Management Business, geriatric care manager, Geriatric Care Manager, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, Move Management, narcissistic client, Narcissistic Personality, nurse care manager, POST HOLIDAY SEASON, Post holidays aging dysfunctional family, Sibling Strife Christmas, Sibling Strife Holidays, Siblings, Stepmonster, Symptoms Dysfunctional Family, Webinar, Webinar ALCA GCM Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging life care manager, aging parent care, aging parent crisis, boundaries dysfunctional families, care manager, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional Holiday, dysfunctional family roles, geriatric care manager, help with dysfunctional family, nurse care manager, Tools with Dysfunctional families

Why Do Adult Children Hate and Love Parents in Aging Dysfunctional Family?

January 11, 2021

ed6855aa32d877d7fc1ef9ee757e0f17-98.jpg

The aging dysfunctional family takes an expert to tackle because violence can break out at any time. In the film version of Tracy Letts  August in Osage County. Julia Roberts (the eldest daughter) attacks Meryl Streep (the pill-popping aging mother) at a ritual family gathering- the elder Dad’s funeral after he commits suicide.

 In the dysfunctional family, there have been symptoms of problems such as alcohol abuse, drug abuse, child abuse, or emotional abuse, like the demeaning mother the character Meryl Streep plays in August in Osage County. These dysfunctions usually create barriers to nurturing and this affects everyone in the family system.

The family system is also marked by ambivalence and all adults and children live in a love-hate relationship with other family members. (Julia Roberts character and all the daughter both love and revile their mother ).

 As systems resist change, it is even more difficult for members of the dysfunctional family to move to make changes when their parent needs care, like Meryl Streep does in August in Osage County. Julia Roberts and none of the daughters will care for their despised mother.

 The nearly normal system is shaken to its core by the parent being dependent. However, a care manager can guide the family members into reorganizing their family roles when the parent can no longer act as head of the family, while acknowledging the shift and changes they need to make both emotionally and practically. 

The members of the dysfunctional family who may have experienced a lack of nurturing by their parent and have no role model of caring. They are angry and resentful at caring for the parent, and thus will find it difficult to provide the practical and emotional care that their aging parent needs. The challenge to the adult child of the dysfunctional family is how to meet the dependency needs of the here and now old-old parent when the parent did not meet them dependency needs as a child.  That is why they need a highly experienced Geriatric Care Manager who can work with dysfunctional aging families.

 The challenge to the care manager is to bring the adult child of the dysfunctional family into the here and now and see their parents for who they are- an aging dependent person, flawed and imperfect, but a human being who needs their love, support and nurturing.

 

 

Sign Up for My Free January Webinar  

             Thursday, January 21, 2021

  Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday  

 Join me and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stocking.      

Learn how to!

  • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
  • Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family
  • Master Vital Clinical Tools you to solve client problems
  • Take Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families
  • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

 SIGN UP NOW

 

 

Find out more on my YouTube Channel:  Geriatric Care 1 

 

 

 

Filed Under: adult child physical abuse, adult emotional abuse, Aging, aging family crisis, aging family system, aging life business, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging Mother, Aging therapist, Blog, Dysfunctional Aging Familu, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Dysfunctional Family Inquiry, Dysfunctional Family System, estranged siblings, Families, fiscal abuse, Fiscal Elder Abuse, GCM Webinar, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Long Distance Care, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, POST HOLIDAY CALLS, Siblings, Sign Up Dysfunctional Aging Family, Webinar, Webinar ALCA GCM Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging life and geriatric care management, aging life care management, aging life care manager, aging parent, aging parent crisis, care manager, caregiver assessment, case manager, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional Holiday, dysfunctional aging family, geriatric care manager, Holidays with midlife siblings, nurse care manager, Tools with Dysfunctional families, Violence Dysfunctional Family, Working With Dysfunctional family

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