Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

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Ten Warning Signs You Are Working With a Dysfunctional Family

November 3, 2022

Working with Dysfunctional Family

Ten Warning Signs you are Working with Dysfunctional Family represents critical information to share with long-distance caregivers before their holiday visit. Do you know them? They include contentiousness, anger, and cut off and all are listed below. These clinical issues give the visiting caregiver signs that they need to call a care manager and you the care manager the most challenging job of an aging professional. What you have to know is family system theory and be clinically skilled in entering this treacherous family system – to get care for an older person

1. Contentiousness – Old fights erupt; the siblings and parents get into arguments with one another about an old issue

2. Anger – Siblings and family members express physical anger, emotional abuse, financial abuse

3. Distancing & cut off – Some siblings or parents have nothing to do with family and may not speak to parents or siblings for long periods of time.

Ten Warning Signs You are Working with the  Dysfunctional Family – Fusion, Denial, Triangulation, Entitlement

4. Fusion – Siblings and family members, such as the mother and eldest daughter, blend into one another, For example, the daughter sounds, acts, and has the same prejudices as the mother. . Think of the media’s portrayal of Lindsay Lohan and her mother.

5. Denial – Adult siblings do not see a decline in a parent, do not face reality, and do not take care of parent if he or she needs care.                           

6. Triangulation – Tension between two family members or siblings causes one to enlist a third family member or sibling to avoid change For example, two adult sibling object to the cost of care of an aging parent. They gang up on the third adult sibling who thinks the cost of care is reasonable and justified.

7. Sense of Entitlement – Siblings who are accustomed to purchasing services need not personally solve their own, children’s siblings or parents’ problems. This lack of engagement leaves them, unprepared and unwilling in getting involved in solving family tribulations.

Ten Warning Signs You Are Working with a Dysfunctional Family – Narcissism, Needy Adult Siblings, Substance Abuse, and Cut Off

8. Narcissism – One or more siblings has an “it’s all about me” attitude and

other siblings resent this. The self-absorbed sibling either does not participate

9. Needy Adult Siblings – These adult siblings feel starved for affection and often seek affection from professionals and other people in their lives for compensation for the care they didn’t receive as children.

10 . Substance and Other Abuse – The family and siblings have a history of drug, alcohol, and/or child abuse.

If this fits you you and your aging parent needs care may need to contact a geriatric care manager.

SIGN UP FOR MY HOLIDAY WEBINAR –

 

Get Ready for the Holiday Rush

Get Ready for the Holiday Rush

WEDNESDAY, November 16th, 2022, FROM 2 PM – 3:30 PM PST

 Learn how to create!

  • Pre-Holiday Social media campaigns to reach worried caregivers
  • Pre- Holiday-Materials about the warning signs that a parent needs help
  • Pre-Holiday Marketing to help you sign up families who might face a serious decline in aging parents
  • How to sell services to desperate post-holiday callers from Normal dysfunctional & long-distance family
  • How to use tools to contain holiday chaos & arrange care in festive family fright
  • How to move the family to New Year’s stability
  • Know The Ten Warning Signs you are working with a dysfunctional family and position Your Agency ahead of Care Managers who do not have great pre-holiday marketing campaigns and lack the clinical skills how to work with Adult Children and families during the chaotic aging family holiday visit when adult kids find their aging parents need care
  • Featuring

 Cathy Cress MSW author of the Handbook of Geriatric Care

Management     

Find Out More 

 

 

 

  • Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

 

Filed Under: abusive aging parents, adult child physical abuse, Adult children, aging family crisis, aging family system, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, Aging therapist, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family Inquiry, Dysfunctional Family System, elder abuse, elder care manager, elder fiscal abuse, elder mediator, entitled family, estranged siblings, FREE WEBINAR, GCM COACHING SKILLS, geriatric care manager, geriatric care manager start up, midlife siblings, Siblings Tagged With: adult children of borderline narcissistic VIP families, aging family, black american geriatric care managers, black american social workers, Black Entrepreneurs, Black geriatric care managers, Black RN's, Black start-up geriatric care management, Black travel nurses, blaming familiy members, boundaries dysfunctional families, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional Holiday, cut -off, cut-off sibling, dysfunctional aging family, geriatric care manager, help with dysfunctional family, midlife siblings, Narcissistic Personality, sibling, Substance abuse in the elderly

4 Dysfunctional Family Markers Clinicians Can Face In New Years

December 27, 2021

 

The normal family is the hand grenade compared to the nuclear bomb of the dysfunctional family

When both are faced with a filial crisis of aging parents being dependent and the adult child needs to take over they cower or explode.

How Do You Know a Dysfunctional Family

1. They lack the ability to resolve conflicts

The dysfunctional family has frequent psycho-social blockages that prevent the family from growing emotionally. They fail miserably at moving through all family stages and orchestrating family rituals.

2. They Cannot make Life transitions

In each dysfunctional family most life transitions in the family, like birth, adolescence, and marriage have been very difficult to make, marked by a lack of support from the parents. Every holiday might be drunkenly be ruined. The parental figures are usually not in charge, nurturing, or able to establish establishes clear rules. They have never created an excel spreadsheet on tasks to do to orchestrate a holiday. Like a disease spreading down generations, they never knew how happily celebrate anything together, as their parents wrecked ritual occasions as well.

3. There are murky roles in the  family family-fight-300x223.jpg

The chief role of the parent is characterized by a lack of leadership of the family and the ability to nurture the children. Mom rarely became the high priestess on Hanukkah or Christmas or any family ritual gathering, the family members generally do not believe the parent is there for them and can be depended upon. The concierge dysfunctional family is colored by bloody strained relationships and unresolved conflicts and ruined ritual memories.

 

4. They inspire great literature

The family is the inspiration for great literature. O’Neil’s wrenching plays A Long Day’s Journey into Night” portray the most miserable of dysfunctional families. Alcohol, drugs, and secrets that have been kept by all for generations splatter the pages of this great play mirroring all the ruined holidays children of dysfunctional families recall with horror.  Prince of Tides a tale of a southern concierge dysfunctional family gives us a timelier glimpse of a family whose center can never hold together and whose blood oozes all over everyone from one generation to the next. Award-winning plays and films, like Tracey Letts August in Osage County about a ruined ritual funeral from hell when Julia Roberts tries to beat up drug-addled, drunk presiding mother Meryl Streep.ed6855aa32d877d7fc1ef9ee757e0f17-98.jpg

 Rituals Bring Out the Worst in this family

In the dysfunctional family when an aging  Mom does not make the very small things she was able to pull off like the Latkes or the Christmas cookies she always made every Hanukkah and Christmas,  or cannot pull off big things like the daughter’s wedding someone has got to be the cook and family organizer, and resentments skyrocket – tempers flare – and the torch just might never get passed.

The family is again thrown into crisis. That means someone in the tribe has to take over -yet the dysfunctional family has no model or spreadsheet for any transition in power. They cannot pull off any ritual celebrations or even family Taco Tuesdays. Most critically when the rudderless head of the family needs care, these adult children cannot care for a parent who did not care for them.

Sign Up for My January Webinar on Working With the Dysfunctional Family

 

 

 

 

11 Clinical Steps to Work with Dysfunctional Families-Post Holidays –

Thursday, January 6, 2021, 2:00-3:30 PM

 

Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday 

Join me 

and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stockings.

 

 

 

 Learn how to:

Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders

 

Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family 

 

Master the 5 Clinical Tools – you need – to solve these problems with your clients

 

 

 

 

 

 

Learn Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families

Sign -Up Now 

 

 

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel                                                                  Geriatric Care 1

Learn more about how to work with the dysfunctional family in Handbook of Geriatric Care Management 5th edition 

 

Filed Under: adult child pain-point, adult child physical abuse, Adult children, Aduly Child Stress, Aging, Aging Family, aging family crisis, aging life business, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Black, Black Aging Family, Black Entrepreneur, Black Entrepreneur RB, Black Entrepreneur RN, Black entrepreneurs, Black Geriatric Care Manager, Black geriatric care managers, Black RN, Black Travel Nurses, Blog, case manager, Cut Off, Dysfunctional Aging Familu, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Families, Geriatric Care Management Business, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Holiday season, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, Holidays, nurse advocate, nurse care manager Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging life care manager, boundaries dysfunctional families, care manager, case manager, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional Holiday, Dysfunctional Concierge Family, dysfuntional family, geriatric care manager, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Long Days Journey Into Night, nurse care manager

10 Do’s &Don’ts Doing the Dysfunctional Family Calls Post Holidays

November 26, 2021

 

Most Calls for Care Managers Post Holidays

More than half of the aging families who call you inquiring about services will be dysfunctional families post-holidays. The great majority of calls will come from adult children. If you want to make the sale during the inquiry you have to know how to handle these dysfunctional family members on the phone and give them enough trust in you to sign your contract and give you a deposit for your services.

FIND OUT MORE 

How Do You Get Them To Trust You Enough to Sign Contract with Dysfunctional family Post holidays?

  1. Do Be Objective
  2. Do Use Active Listening
  3. Do Give them Hope you can solve their family problem
  4. Do a two-part inquiry and have the problem defined in the first part done by a skilled administrative Assistant
  5. Do study the problem before you do the second call and have exactly how you would solve the problem ready in a planned elevator speech
  6. Do a complimentary 30-minute consultation
  7. Do not give away the store but outline how you are an expert at solving the problems (moving, keeping at home, Alzheimer’s wandering and a bare outline of your solution
  8. Do not criticize dysfunctional family post-holidays
  9. Do not blame,
  10. Do not take sides if several family members points of view and express them

 

Sign Up for My Free January Webinar  

11 Vital Clinical Tools For Desperate Families Post-Holidays

             Thursday, Jan 6, 2022, 02:00 PM Pacific Time (US and Canada)

 

 

  Give frantic adult children hope using vital clinical tools when they desperately call after the holiday Join me Post-holiday and learn how to come to clinically rescue concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stocking.      

Learn how to!

  • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
  • Master 11 Vital Clinical Tools you to solve client problems
  • Take Six Clinical Steps Professional Must Take to Work with these Dysfunctional family post-holidays 
  • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

 SIGN UP NOW

 

 Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: adult child calls post holidays, Adult Child Caregiver Pain, Adult Child Pain, adult child pain-point, adult child physical abuse, Adult children, Adulyt Child Call Post holidays, Aging, aging family crisis, Aging family pain, aging life business, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Alarm Bells For Long Distance Family, ALCA Dysfunctional Family Help, Black, Black Aging Family, Black Entrepreneur, Black Entrepreneur RB, Black Entrepreneur RN, Black entrepreneurs, Black Geriatric Care Manager, Black geriatric care managers, Black RN, Black Travel Nurses, Blog, Care Management Inquiry Call, Caregiver Stress, Caregivers collapsing, Cash Clow, Concierge aging clients, Concierge Senior, Contract signed, Dysfunctional Aging Familu, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Dysfunctional Family Inquiry, Families, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, inquiry, inquiry call, Intake COVID-19, Make the Sale, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Sign Up Dysfunctional Aging Family, Sign Up GCM Client, Sysfuntional Family post holidays Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging life care manager, aging life inquiry, aging life or GCM inquiry, Black, black american geriatric care managers, black american social workers, Black caregivers, Black Entrepreneurs, Black geriatric care managers, Black Nurse Entrepreneurs, Black RN's, Black start-up geriatric care management, care manager, case manager, Clinical Tool dysfunctional family, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional Holiday, dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Concierge Family, Dysfunctional family post holidays, dysfunctional family roles, Dysfunctional VIP Family, geriatric care manager, help with dysfunctional family, Holiday Inquiry call, nurse care manager, Tools with Dysfunctional families, Working With Dysfunctional family

Warning Sign #2 You are Working With an Aging Dysfunctional Family

January 18, 2021

Dysfunctional Families and Anger – physical anger, emotional abuse, financial abuse

Fiscal and emotional abuse are the red blinking second signs of the dysfunctional aging family. Anger occurs normally in all families. However, in dysfunctional families, anger may take the form of repeated physical or

emotional abuse. This happens not only in one generation but passed on to the next and perhaps all subsequent generations. Adult children are often getting even with their aging parents for being neglectful, perhaps physically abusive parents when these angry adult children were kids.

Fiscal abuse is a ” sleeper” form of abuse,  yet a pernicious aging family problem. Adult children committed a whopping 40% of the abuse. Other family members were the next big thief’s investigated. The coming holidays create jaw-clenching stress on adult children who visit and finally see their parents decline. This means they need to care for them, which they have no idea how to do. Part of that comes from- they were never cared for as kids themselves. The holidays can be saved for a dysfunctional family, by care managers. Care managers can help them avoid abuse and support them to get the care they need for their aging parents who neglected them as children. 

Financial Advisors Can be Thieves Too

President Obama’s administration attempted to protect investors, who are often people trying to plan their retirement. The so-called fiduciary rule would have required financial advisers working with retirement accounts to put the interests of their clients ahead of their own—

The Trump administration, aiding and abetting in this theft, “blocked this rule and continues to block many retiring and aging client interests – putting them second and financial advisors interest (or ) profit first. This rule was supposed to go into effect on January 1, 2018, but was blocked again by the Trump Administration.

The securities industry received an early Christmas present from Trump’s outgoing Administration when the White House hastily cleared the way for the Department of Labor to lower the standard of care of investment advice fiduciaries, and this represents a dramatic and unprecedented reversal of the intent of Congress in enacting ERISA. The Public Investors Advocate Bar Association stated that “Workers and retirees deserve far better. They deserve to have their retirement savings protected, and they should be able to rely on those they have gone to for investment advice.”

Sign Up for My Free January Webinar  

5 Vital Clinical Tools to Help Aging Dysfunctional Families-Post Horrid Holidays- 

             Thursday, January 21, 2021

  Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday  

 Join me and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found coal in their stocking.      

Learn how to!

  • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
  • Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family
  • Master Vital Clinical Tools, you to solve client problems
  • Take Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families
  • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

 SIGN UP NOW

 

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

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Find out more in my YouTube channel Geriatric Care 1

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: adult child physical abuse, Adult children, adult emotional abuse, Aging, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging therapist, care manager, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, elder abuse, elder care manager, elder fiscal abuse, fiscal abuse, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, Long Distance Care, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving Parent crisis, Therapist Specializing in Aging Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging family Christmas, aging family crisis, aging family Hanakkah, aging family Thanksgiving, aging life and geraitric care manager, Aging Life Care Association, elder, elder abuse by family members, elder fiscal abuse, therapists aging families

Sign Up for My Free January Webinar on Dysfunctional Aging Family

January 14, 2021

5 Vital Clinical Tools to Help Aging Dysfunctional Families-Post Horrid Holidays- 

  Thursday, January 21, 2021

              2:00 3:20 Pacific Standard Time

  Give frantic adult children hope when they desperately call after the holiday

 Join me and learn how to come to the rescue of concierge dysfunctional families who found only coal in their stocking.

Learn how to!

  • Understand the Dysfunctional Aging Family System you must enter to get care for elders
  • Understand 11 Warning Signs You Are Working with Dysfunctional Family 
  • Master Vital Clinical Tools, you to solve client problems
  • Take Six Steps Professional Must Take to Work with These Difficult Families
  • Get care for aging family members when the dysfunctional family members resist

 SIGN UP NOW

Filed Under: abusive aging parents, adult child physical abuse, Adult children, adult emotional abuse, Aging, Aging Alcohol Abuse, Aging Family, aging family and COVID, aging family crisis, aging family system, aging life business, Aging Life Care, Aging Life Care Assocaition, aging life care manager, Aging Mother, Aging therapist, Blog, Borderline narcissistic family, Caregiver Burn Out, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional families, Concierge aging clients, Dysfunctional aging family, Dysfunctional Family & Holidays, Dysfunctional Family System, elder mediator, Families, Filial Crisis, GCM Webinar, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric care manager, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Sibling Rivalry, Move Management, narcissistic client, Narcissistic Personality, nurse care manager, POST HOLIDAY SEASON, Post holidays aging dysfunctional family, Sibling Strife Christmas, Sibling Strife Holidays, Siblings, Stepmonster, Symptoms Dysfunctional Family, Webinar, Webinar ALCA GCM Tagged With: aging dysfunctional family, aging life care manager, aging parent care, aging parent crisis, boundaries dysfunctional families, care manager, Clinical Tools Dysfunctional Holiday, dysfunctional family roles, geriatric care manager, help with dysfunctional family, nurse care manager, Tools with Dysfunctional families

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