Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

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5 Signs That You Are Working With A Dysfunctional Family Over The Holiday

November 3, 2019

Scary Holidays Coming to you

We just passed the fun scary holiday Halloween. It previews the beginning of the real scary holidays for the aging dysfunctional family. These families visit their aging relatives and often find a shocking decline. Raised in a rickety nest, adult kids from a dysfuctional family lack the tools to care for their needy parents in this crisis as they were usually not cared for or nurtured as children.

Whether you are a care manager, geriatric care manager, aging life care manager, case manager or aging professional- this list below is what you will see when you do an intake with these difficult dysfunctional families.

Thanksgiving will open the holiday season and then we face Hanukkah and Christmas. Learn the signs now to work with your new clients and keep them

Signs of the Dysfunctional Family

1. Contentiousness – Old fights erupt; the family gets into arguments with one another about old issues.

“ Secret Santa bull. I got Laurie and she never got a decent gift for my kids all these years so I am never being her damn secret Santa”

2. Anger – Family members express physical anger, emotional abuse, and financial abuse.ed6855aa32d877d7fc1ef9ee757e0f17-98.jpg

“ Take Mom and shove it. I am not taking care of her over the holidays. She was an awful mother to me”

3. Distancing & cut off – Some siblings or parents have nothing to do with family and may not speak to parents or siblings for long periods of time.

” Aunt Kathy and I have not talked for a year-she didn’t even come to Mom’s funeral, so, of course, I am not inviting her to the first night of  Hanukkah or any night”

4. Fusion – Family members, such as the mother, and eldest daughter, blend into one another. For example, the daughter sounds acts and has the same prejudices as the mother.

“ Freddie and Dad might be the same damn person -never taking care of their kids. I buy gifts for Michael Freddie’s son and even put him through private school and high school –Fred never paid child support- or helped- just like Dad. Mom paid for us both to go to college. Freddie is just a damn clone of Dad”

5. Denial – Adult siblings do not see a decline in a parent, do not face reality and do not take care of the parent if he or she cat-dog-fight.jpgneeds care

” Do not tell me Mom can’t wrap her own present and I should” She was always giving us unwrapped gifts. She’s selfish and

always has been.

SIGN UP FOR MY FREE WEBINAR. 

5 Ways to Tame the Turbulence of Holiday Meltdown in Aging Families

 Learn how!

  • How to work with both dysfunctional and long-distance families who call during the holidays
  • How to give hope to frantic children who call, after seeing their aging parent struggling with the rituals
  • How to sell services to desperate adult child callers   
  • How to use GCM tools to contain Holiday chaosfacebook-holiday-post-4.png
  • How to use financial forecasting to prepare for growth during the holidays
  • Sidestep the Many Care Managers Who Do not know how to work with Dysfunctional Aging Families so the  client chooses you

THIS FREE  WEBINAR IS NOVEMBER 21, 2019 FROM 2 PM – 3 PM PST

 

SIGN-UP NOW

 

Find out more in the YouTube for My YouTube, Channel  Geriatric Care 1

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Filed Under: Aging, Blog, Families, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager Tagged With: aging life care manager, aging parent crisis, care manager, case manager, dysfunctional aging family, holidays with aging parents, nurse advocate

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