3 Types of Dysfunctional Adult Children Call You After Holidays When you N
eed Clinical Skills to Work with these Callers
# 1 Inquiry from Narcissistic Adult Child in Dysfunctional Family
– The narcissistic adult child from the aging dysfunctional family who calls for help has an “it’s all about me” attitude. The aging parent and or a midlife sibling. could be narcissists. With aging parents, all siblings may have resented this self-absorption their
entire lives and have a love/hate relationship with older moms or dads. With siblings, the other brothers and sisters resent this, especially with parent care. The self-absorbed sibling either does not participate in solving sibling or aging family troubles but just makes them worse. They call after the disastrous holiday season and you need clinical skills to work with them
#2 Inquiry from Devalued Child Entitled but Servile Adult.
The devalued adult child from the aging dysfunctional family calls you after the holidays you need clinical skills to work with them.
As a kid, the adult child of a narcissist parent was devalued in the parent’s eyes so that the now aging parent can feel superior and powerful in the world. These children mature into adults who are emotionally impoverished, inflexible, and needy.
As a geriatric care manager, the adult child presents as entitled. As clients, these adult children fear that unless they make inflexible demands, they will receive nothing. “ Get my mother into a concierge wing of a hospital by tomorrow”
An adult child of a narcissistic aging parent will present as nasty, aggressive, and devaluing of the service provider. Or they could be essentially insatiable and easily injured by the helping professional. The adult children of narcissistic entitled families are also often angry and frustrated at having to give care to a parent or parents whom they experienced as ungiving, demanding, intrusive, overpowering, and needy. They are members of an ultra dysfunctional aging family. They call after the holiday and you need clinical skills to work with them
# 3-Inquiry from needy adult children in the dysfunctional aging family
The adult child who calls may be the needy adult child. Baby boomers must evolve beyond the needy child he or she has been, depending on aging parents fiscal,
emotional, and social support, to the adult who supports his parent. Adult Children of aging parents in the 21st century not only confront the delay of their own needs when their parent’s aging and reliance call them but confront their own future and very much more immediate loss of the central figure in their lives, their own parents.
Some don’t- especially in the dysfunctional aging family.
These adults feel starved for parental affection they never received and often seek affection from professionals and other people in their lives to compensate for the care they didn’t receive as children. They call after the holiday and you need clinical skills to work with them.
These 3 types of adult children have clinical difficulties that are coping and defense mechanisms allowing them to adapt to a dysfunctional family. The care manager must enter the family system clinically to address the needs symptoms and defenses of the adult children to get care for the elder.
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