In any play or drama, there are always standard roles like a leading man, a heroine, a villain, and a minor character or two. Families can have central casting as well. Parents usually assign roles to family members. These roles include the oldest, which can be a bully or sometimes the child with the most responsibility, like ,babysitting younger siblings, a job that may have a real negative impact on siblings
There is the classic role of the youngest, which is the baby and often the favorite.
Because gender is often the elephant in the family living room, the role of the boy can often be the most valued while the role of the girl is very undervalued.
The parents’ favored sibling could be the role of the oldest, the smartest, and most educated, or even the most challenged brother or sister.
Families have patterns, much like a piece of fabric. These threads are sometimes a map of the family genome. Roles can be a GPS to help us decipher these filial directions.
Parent your children so that you are raising sibling brothers and sisters in harmony. Spot sibling relationships that sound like chalk scraping on a blackboard. This screeching sound can come up from roles gone badly. An example is the role of the oldest gives that child too much responsibility and acting out.
Roles gone bad can pummel a parent’s ears when your daughter feels that you favor the brother or have less expectation of her as a girl than you do of your male children
It can screech when you favor the baby, which many parents tend to do.
Harmony is more than a sound. It is difficult to slug it out, bully, or emotionally batter a person whom you really care about. Caring for your brothers and sisters and being kind to them is the first lesson we give our children. Our relationship to other siblings is our initial experience being sensitive to the other children we play with and even how we engage with our spouse and children in the future. That relationship is built on sibling roles.
A mom or dad’s role is one of facilitating harmony among your kids. You are not here to make them act in accord but to create the conditions that result in a comfortable relationship among them. This means really being aware of roles you have your kids play as siblings.
You can’t have power over every action taken by each child, but you can shape his or her relationships. That means being aware of sibling roles you create.
Allow the oldest child to do things for the youngest without burdening him or her. Allow the girl to have equal opportunities as the boys. Don’t give the youngest everything when you were spare in your gift to the older siblings
Be aware of sibling roles you ascribe. They really matter is in creating a harmonious family.
Watch this you Tube from my Mom Loves You Best Channel on roles for more tips.