Once you have seen the drama in the aging dysfunctional family and know each adult child’s role plus the conflict it causes– then what do you do next ? You become Wonder Woman ( or man? )
You use your extensive aging life- geriatric care manager tool box to realign the roles to get care for the aging client. Here’s three steps:
Superhero task 1
The Aging Life or geriatric care manager must identify existing power dynamics within the family, redefine responsibilities to achieve generational maturity, and realign roles and tasks for each family member.
Superheroine task 2
The Aging Life or GCM should encourage a new two-way nurturing relationship between the adult child and the parent that may not have previously existed.
Superhero/heroine task 3
At the same time, the Aging Life or GCM must enable the adult child as caregiver to set limits that are appropriate to a mature relationship.
The GCM emboldens the adult child to identify and remove himself or herself from triangulated, fused, or other destructive family patterns.
This is not for the faint of heart . It is for a highly skilled and educated care manager and successful practioneer- in others words Wonder Woman.
My knee was just replaced. That was happening on the back end of my blog while you read the front end.
Like all aging life or geriatric care managers, I use my own GCM tools to manage my own care. One tool was not to advocate for myself while in the hospital .l had a patient advocate stay with me . I learned this from fellow geriatric care manager Anne Rosenthal when I had my hip replaced.
No matter how good the hospital, mistakes can happen and you need, a patient advocate. These were very good friends who were both kind and assertive .Two were actual conservator friends. They spoke for me when I was recovering from surgery and unable to speak for myself.
Here is an example of why you need them.. Besides a patient advocate you need a fully licensed physical therapist. A physical therapist came to see me in the hospital the first day. My friend the conservator asked his credentials and found he was an unlicensed resident. She demanded that an actual licensed physical therapist treat me. From then on a licensed physical therapist managed my care. Top-notch physical therapy is key to knee replacement.
Do the same thing for yourself that you would do for your client. Remember caregivers, even an aging life or geriatric care manager, must care for themselves.
I still have terrific physical therapy at home through Medicare am about to go to the best outpatient PT in Santa Cruz. where I live. These professionals are the key to my recovery.