Coming Up on October 17th, I will be presenting a workshop
How to Help Midlife Siblings Move Towards Forgiveness to Form a Team to Care for Elderly Parents .
The Workshop location is :
Sponsored By Senior Care Management http://www.seniorcaremgt.com
Senior Care Management
(609) 882- 0322
Why should you attend ?
1) Build a better knowledge base of the aging family
2) Identify ‘nearly’ normal family systems where midlife
crisis with aging parent is present and create
interventions to assist midlife siblings reach filial maturity
3) Identify midlife sibling dysfunction and understand forgiveness
tools to enhance therapeutic interventions and get aging parents better
9-10.Adult- Siblings – Types, Roles, Rules , Siblings Rivalry , Midlife and in old age power point and guided discussion
break 10 minutes
10:10- 11-. Midlife Siblings in the Aging Family -Stress and Burden in Caregiving
What is the Role of the Aging Professional ? guided discussion and power point
Break 10 minutes
11:10- 12:10 Mom Loves You Best and I Hate You Helping Midlife Siblings Forgive and Forge Lifelong Relationships and Care for Aging Parents- guided discussion and power point
12:10-12:30- Questions – wrap up discussion
3.0 Contact Hours and CEU credits
approved for nurses and social workers.
Certificates to be distributed at end of series.
Are you and your midlife siblings from a dysfunctional family? When a midlife sibling group faces a parent care crisis, if they are a dysfunctional family- they face almost insurmountable issues. To overcome this Hindu Kush, they need a family meeting managed by a mediator
Dysfunctional families are conflictive. They are incompatible and fragmented. Family members and midlife siblings historically argue constantly, even over relatively unimportant issues and often cannot even come to an agreement over uncomplicated matters. The family nest, from which these siblings sprang may have been a troubled one, in which dissension, rivalry and resentment were rife. Such rickety parental architecture can last a lifetime. Old conflicts between siblings or among adult children and the aging parent often resurface during a crisis period with aging parents
. The family has a very difficult time making changes as a group. Any change in this fragile family, like the decline of an aging parent, is as overwhelming as a rogue wave. As a sibling group, adapting to change has always been nearly impossible. What’s more, they are often easily shattered both as individuals and as a family unit, and usually have a history of emotional cut-offs, with siblings or family members not speaking to each other for years at a time.
Consider a family meeting when your aging parents face a crisis that calls for a sibling team meeting. Before you do contact a geriatric care manager, who may also be a mediator or can refer you to a mediator as part of their services.
Some important points for aging professionals, like geriatric care managers , to consider when working with midlife siblings in an aging family crisis, is how the adult siblings seem to be functioning. If there is one adult sibling who is the family caregiver, what is her or his attitude toward aging and an older person’s particular illness (e.g., Alzheimer’s disease)? If the adult sibling caregiver has the attitude that older people are supposed to become demented, then the older person’s behavior will not be seen as a problem to be considered. What motivates the adult sibling and the aging family to care? If the adult sibling caregiver has a full load with a job, marriage, and children, he or she may not be looking for additional problems and deny the problem. How do the adult siblings work as a sibling team? Do the adult sibling members address problems together, or do problems split them apart? Is there domination from a single adult sibling member? Is abuse and threats, implied or real, used to control adult siblings? What do the adult siblings value? Do some value one thing, like keeping an aging parent at home and other believe in placement like a CCRC? Will the family be receptive to your aging professional suggestions?
If the family is receptive to suggestions, you, as an aging professional, can help improve how an adult sibling communicates by modeling the following communication techniques:
l Do not interrupt adult sibling until they have finished speaking.
l Show each adult sibling that he or she has value in the family.
l Show each adult sibling that his or her views are valid.
l Acknowledge to each adult sibling that his or her experience of a situation is valid.
l Encourage family adult siblings to work together to make the load easier for all to bear.
l Realize that adult siblings will make mistakes and that mistakes are acceptable as long as the midlife sibling learns from them.
l Remind adult siblings that it is acceptable for one member to express that he or she has reached their limit of time, emotion or stress.
l Encourage adult sublings to ask each other for help.
l Allow adult siblings to decide whether they can be helpful.
If you have a parent in a nursing home, and the cost of care is covered under Medicaid, I think you should consider the effects of Medicaid block grants, after this election ,on Medicaid nursing home residents and their families. There is much discussion about changes under Medicare for older people- from both parties. But the change in Medicaid, in using block grants to states, has a very ominous effects that may make families of older people be very, for a better word, unnerved financially. Please read today’s’ New York Times article on what may happen if this Medicaid block granting plan is put into effect.After you read this, you might consult an elder law attorney to see how these Medicaid block grants will impact you and your parent in a nursing home under Medicaid