Cathy Cress

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7 Tools to Spark Reminiscence As a Holiday Gift

December 1, 2019

Kali--Bill-Connies-book-.JPGReminiscence isn’t new.

If you work with older clients, reminiscence can be a cherished gift for their holiday celebration

Before the printing press, storytellers and bards were how history was recorded-

Oral storytellers gave us the Odyssey and other valiant tales. History exists in their family, and Ulysses or Penelope might be sitting at your barbecue this coming holiday- in the form of your aging parents.

But storytelling only works if the teller remembers the lines. Family history has to be captured when the older person still remembers. So holiday events are a perfect time to tap into that font before it flickers. At the same time, you give the older person one to one attention, that they may not get often, someone interested in their past and warm memories of their childhood holidays

7 Ways to Capture That Family Ancestry On Holidays

Here are some tips to use if they want to capture these family tales during the coming festivities with aging parents—a perfect time to do this.

1. Use empathetic listening. This means to make all the messages you are are giving the older person— tone, how fast you speak, how they are sitting-  all saying, “I want to listen to them.”

 

2. Ask questions that prompt the story but don’t make judgments. If there are going to record the family tale, do it in a way that doesn’t distract or stop the older person from talking.

3. Start somewhere. If the elder isn’t going to tell stories on his or her own, start the story and see if they will follow along.” What did you do on Christmas day? Did you open gifts at a special time?.” What was your favorite food on the holidays” ” ( you might ask before and make that special cookie and offer it to them?

4. Music is just next to memory in the brain shown by Alive Inside So use Alexa, Spotify, to play  40’s 50’s this Christmas music        

5. Simple ways to spark reminiscence on Holidays :

  • Look at old photos together; perhaps from Christmas past or can be anytime. Choose ones from a period of time the person currently remembers, which could be the person as a young adult, teenager, or even a young child.
  • Sing holiday songs together or play them on Alexa. Choose carols and songs the older person remembers well.
  • Enjoy food like a holiday cookie that is a family tradition or specialty, particularly ones that have an element of memory attached from family celebrations perhaps?
  • Attend a Christmas or Hannaka service where the elder enjoys the sensory experiences of the smells and the bells -the sight of the pageantry, the whiff of incense or, the sound of grandma_holding_rosary_shutterstock_40017103-255x255.jpga choir, quiet prayer said together or the touch of bright paper tearing from a gift.

 

Here are two technology tools to help you with this legacy-building for your older client or family member

 6. Life Bio-

7. Use Quick Voice Recorder to catch the memory on your phone

8. Use  some prompts for questions to ask that will help older people reminisce 

Reminiscence is part of a whole new domain in aging called quality of life or attending to the older person’s need for joy through activities that stimulate the mind. Reminiscence does that but find out more about how you can increase  the quality of life of older people  after the holidays  and all year long

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Filed Under: Adult children, Aging, Aging Family, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Blog, care manager, case manager, elder care manager, Families, Geriatric Care Management Business, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, Reminiscence Therapy, Spiritual Quality of Life Tagged With: aging family, aging life care manager, care manager, case manager, geriatric care manager, holidays rituals, nurse care manager, reminicence and elder, Reminicence and geriatric care manager, reminiscence, reminiscence technology

Technology Tools to Help with Reminicsence Over the Holidays

December 17, 2017

 

1284078981.jpg

Reminiscence isn’t new. Before the printing press, storytellers and bards were how history was recorded- in the new mind not on tape.

 

Oral storytellers gave us the Odyssey and another valiant tales. History exists in their family, and Ulysses or Penelope might be sitting in their living room this holiday season.


Here are some tips to use if their want to capture these family tales during this holiday season—a perfect time to do this. Use empathetic listening if you can. Make all the messages you are are giving the older person— tone, how fast you speak, how they are sitting- say, “I want to listen to you.”

Ask questions that prompt the story but don’t make judgments. If there are going to record the family tale, do it in a way that doesn’t distract or stop the older person from talking. Recording on your i phone , ipad etc is simple and non-intrusive 

 

Start somewhere. If the elder isn’t going to tell stories on his or her own, start the story and see if they will follow along. “That chair there are sitting in, where did their get it, Mom?” Pick an ornament off the Christmas tree and show it to dad to see if he can tell its story.

Reminiscence is sparked by the senses, and buried memories flow into our brains. That’s why the holidays are a perfect time to have their older family members share stories with them. The sense of taste spurs memories. Just think of making that pie that tasted a lot like their mom’s, a brisket, traditional Christmas pudding, latkes 

Here are two technology tools to help you with this legacy building for your older client

Life Bio

Grandma’s Pie

Check out my Book Handbook of Geriatric Care Management with more tools for legacy building written by David Lindeman Director Of the Center for Technology at UC Berkeley and Julie Menack of 21 st Care Solutions

 

Filed Under: Aging, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Blog, care manager, case manager, elder care manager, Families, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, nurse advocate Tagged With: aging life care manager, care manager, case manager, geriatric care manager, holiday with aging parents, holidays rituals, reminicsence technology

What Happens When You Must Replace the High Priestess ( Aging Mother) of the Holiday ?

December 12, 2016

GCM-pix-2.jpg

What happens when an aging mother cannot be the high priestess of the holiday planning?

Why is she the high priestess. Hanukkah and Christmas are really high holy days. Women are traditionally in charge of planning these events that according to the UK can take up to 24 major tasks.  Women are to organize the entire ritual, get religious instruments- menorah, crèche Christmas tree- all symbols of returning light, plan the ritual menu, shop for it and set a large table with their best china for the high holiday meal . Then they get out all the boxes of holiday decorations, bedeck the house, make a Christmas or Hanukah gift list and then – shop for all gifts, invite (or leave out) guests or family. Set the table (have all the ritual china and decorations)

Organize games or ceremonies. And on and exhaustingly on.

 

When girls get married they get silver and china that’s usually get stored away and comes out of the dark cabinet for rare occasions. No one tells them that at 50, 60 70, there will be a critical use. Those dishes and silver are used to take over the holiday from their failing Mom who used to be the high priestess but cannot manage anymore or just wants to let go of it all because it is a mammoth overwhelming task.

There is a missing ceremony is our world and that is passing on the role of high priestess to a younger woman in the family who will take over.  It is called succession. But the transition is usually in a crisis with an aging Mom, not planned for, discussed and left until the floor falls through or Mom’s in the emergency room. The transition of power is not gradually made to accommodate the aging high priestess and rituals  that provide the glue to the continuity of the family.

 

 

Find out more in my book, Care Managers Working With the  the Aging Family  ,chapter  “Dependency and Loss “

 

Filed Under: Aging, Blog, Families, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager Tagged With: care manager, case manager, Christmas, eldercare manager, geriatric care manager, Hanakkah, holidays rituals, nurse care manager

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Cathy Cress is the leading national expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management. She is author of Handbook of Geriatric Care Management 4th edition, Jones and Bartlett, published 2015 and known as the bible of geriatric care management. Continue Reading >

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