Cathy Cress

Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management

  • Home
  • Products »
    • GCM Manual
    • Books
    • > Geriatric Care Management – 4th Edition
    • > Mom Loves You Best
    • > Care Managers
  • Online Classes
  • Webinars
    • Upcoming Webinars
    • Interviews
  • Past Webinars
  • About »
    • Recommendations
  • Blog »
    • Aging
    • Geriatric Care Manager
    • Siblings
    • Webinar
  • Contact

Do Holidays Open the Sibling Wound Mom Loved You Best –Treated With Lots of Alcohol?

November 9, 2018

Holidays can sometimes trigger old brother or sister hurts that never healed. Joy to the World can turn into something from Black Sabbath. Perhaps an adult child avoids midlife siblings and family Thanksgiving because there’s “bad blood” from childhood. Maybe they steer clear of Mom’s holiday dinner so you can skip seeing sisters and brothers who gouged childhood wounds. The scar has built up over decades and if they attend they dive for the alcohol which is plentiful in these ritual celebrations. What can result is nasty sibling fights over the past not Mom and Dad needing care. 

Maybe there just was not enough love your rickety family nest, making siblings scramble for the few caring crumbs.  Kid brothers could have slugged other siblings behind Mom’s back. Maybe a  sister got the new prom dress when younger girls did Goodwill or the hand me down.

Divorce often shattered families leaving you with two houses, two beds, two sets of parents, and stepsiblings who fought for parent’s diminished love. No matter what the grievance story – holidays are when they might want to think about forgiveness because all hands are needed on deck when parents are failing with age.

The season of not so much joy brings calls to care managers from desperate adult children noticing melting down parent’s who are fixture in the family. They call a GCM for advice and the main task is often to make a family sibling team that was not a team 30 years ago.

Need help in creating that team?Thanksgiving--2003png.png

Join me in my new free Webinar

5 Ways to Tame the Turbulence of Holiday Meltdown in Aging Families   

During the busiest season for care management referrals-

 

You Will Learn:

  • How to give hope to frantic children who call, after seeing their aging parent struggling with the rituals
  • How to sell services during intake, to desperate adult child callers
  • How to use GCM tools to contain Holiday chaos among siblings
  • How to use financial forecasting to prepare for growth during the holidays
  • How to work with both dysfunctional and long-distance families who call during the holidays
    • Sign Up 

A

 

 

Filed Under: Aging Family, aging family crisis, aging life business, Aging Life Care, aging life care manager, Bill Clinton, Blog, care manager, elder care manager, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, SIBLING, sibling rivalry, sibling sharing care, Thanksgiving Parent crisis, Webinar Tagged With: adult sibling conflict, adult sibling meeting, aging family, aging life care manager, aging parent crisis, care manager, case manager, dysfunctional aging family, estranged adult siblings, geriatric social worker, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, siblings feuding

8 Ways to Help Organize Long Distance Care Provider Sibling Support Before Holidays

October 27, 2018

 

It takes 1 Mom to Handle 10 children and 10 children can’t manage one Mom

 

 HOW YOU GET OTHER SIBLINGS INVOLVED

Before the coming Thanksgiving celebration, what are some suggestions you can make to the main care provider to get help FROM ADULT SIBLINGS, when all family members have gathered?

Here are some ideas for you as the care manager, can suggest to clients to organize siblings to help share care.            

1. KEEP THEM UP ON THINGS?

                       

ways to keep siblings informed

                                    telephone calls or conference calls with  siblings 

                                    monthly e-newsletters to siblings Constant Contact –

                                    Skype with parents

                                    Facebook Page Parents                                

                                  Make an Amazon Wish list and share it for gifts for parents

                                  Family Meetings  to organize the feast or discuss parent issues 

           

           

2.LISTEN TO WHAT THEY HAVE TO Say

                              be an active listener 

 

3.MAKE SURE AGING PARENTS UNDERSTAND THAT YOU NEED YOUR SIBLINGS HELP

                       

4. IF YOU WANT SIBLINGS TO HELP-TELL THEM SO

                           use open communication   

5. BE SURE TO GIVE SIBLINGS POSITIVE FEEDBACK FOR THEIR EFFORTS

                   

  • Write thank you notes, call, text, e-mail

                       

 

6.SPEAK UP RIGHT AWAY IF THERE ARE PROBLEMS

                        diffuse problems early on

                       

7. INSTEAD OF MAKING ACCUSATIONS- SHARE YOUR   FEELINGS

 

 

8.DIVIDE UP THE DUTIES 

                        example- one sibling handles parents’ finances, bills, for Thanksgiving, everyone                              brings a dish and out of town siblings bring wine, drinks bread etc.

                       one person does a newsletter about the client 

                       use calendar LOTS of HELPING HANDS

This also may be an article for your website or newsletter for November.                       

Get more tips on working with Aging families during the busiest care management season- the coming holidays

Join me in my new Webinar

5 Ways to Tame the Turbulence of Holiday Meltdown in Aging Families   

During the busiest season for care management referrals-

 

You Will Learn:

  • How to give hope to frantic children who call, after seeing their aging parent struggling with the rituals
  • How to sell services to desperate adult child callers
  • How to use GCM tools to contain Holiday chaos
  • How to use financial forecasting to prepare for growth during the holidays
  • How to work with both dysfunctional and long-distance families who call during the holidays
    • Sign Up

 

 

Filed Under: ADULT SIBling, Aging, Aging Family, aging family crisis, aging life business, aging life care manager, Blog, care manager, caregiver, elder care manager, Families, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, SIBLING, sibling rivalry, sibling sharing care, Siblings, Thanksgiving, Webinar Tagged With: adult sibling conflict, adult sibling meeting, aging family Thanksgiving, aging life care manager, care manager, case manager, Communication with adult siblings, geriatric care manager, nurse care manager, sibling, Thanksgiving with midlife siblings

If Estranged— Midlife Siblings Face Draining Hourglass

February 3, 2017

Like a draining hourglass, time is running out on the aging family stage. If severed ,the midlife sibling connection to help aging parents has finite time left.

The midlife family’s play will run only so long before the curtain closes. Death stalks the cast and will pick off the characters one by one and someday shut down the performance. Vulnerable to that drawn curtain, it is important for midlife siblings resolve brother and sister breaches before a chronic illness or sudden death takes a parent then the  sibling and leaves them none but regret.

Midlife brothers and sisters can come through for us in a million ways. If we move, they are the family members who most frequently help us pack, drive the U-Haul, and give a hand in the upheaval. When we retire with sheet cakes and cheap champagne, the biggest toasters can be siblings.

If  elderly parents are moving, downsizing or relocating to warmer climates, siblings are there to help us parcel out family treasures, sort out the collected furniture and decades of junk, working with us as a team to help get our parents to the new location.

Siblings are stellar partners in this sometimes-overwhelming adult child task. If we become disabled or are ill, that sibling air mattress can reflate on a dime, and brothers and sisters are among the first people we can call in a health care crisis, to do everything from going on the web to find resources to coming to our home and nursing us back to health.

A potential victim of that emptying hourglass, forgiveness is crucial as we age. If the sand runs out before ruptures are repaired, the warped family pattern just appears in the next generation. Passing on impoverished sibling models deals a bad hand of family desolation to the next generation, passing on hurt, rage, resentment, and unsutured gashes.

As care coordinators, Aging Life or Geriatric care managers can stitch these brother and sister wounds back together, by referring to counselors and MFT who specialize in aging.

Find out more about midlife sibling in my Handbook of Geriatric Care Management 4th edition in the Nearly Normal and Dysfunctional Family Chapters.

Filed Under: Aging, Blog, Families, Geriatric Care Management Business, News Tagged With: adult sibling conflict, aging life care manager, aging life or geriatric care manager, care manager, case manager, midlife siblings, nurse care manager, siblings

What’s the Plan for Aging Parent Post Holiday Hospitalization When Siblings Barely Speak?

January 18, 2017

images_20130906-154817_1.jpg
Especially after the holidays and in January elders like all of us, tend to get sick. But unlike younger people,they more likely to  end up in the hospital  If seeing your adult  siblings  did go well in December- things can get worse in January. You  may be shocked out of sleep by late-night calls from brothers and sisters frantically telling each other elder parent is hospitalized .This may be a nasty introduction to sibling caregiving
Adult children are often forced to book last minute, high-cost flights, and gather in scary, sterile hospital rooms with brothers and sisters they have not spoken to in years. Siblings might stare starkly at each other, then have to face doctors and social workers who may ask the family to make excruciating decisions about Mom and Dad.
At times we avoid going to see our aging  parents because of sibling wars. We want to
shun that sister who bossed us around when we were kids, because she is still telling everyone what to do.
The big sister who always took care of everything may take on the bulk of the responsibility, while her little brother, out of habit, may let her do so unquestioningly. Beware of that magnet pulling you back to childhood. Those roles can be very counterproductive, especially in an aging parent emergency like a hospitalization.
Avoid that scene over an aging parent’s hospital bed. Work on midlife sibling forgiveness ot at least communication before a parental emergency  and make sure , even if sibling do not get along , everyone has emergency information for family, local hospital and how to get emergency plane tickets or a designated sibling, in a a parent emergency
Call e mail, text , do facetime, skype siblings now with and make a plan to care for aging parents
Set up a Family Meeting to make a plan
Call a care manager if you feel you need a mediator and help with a plan

Filed Under: Aging, Blog, Families, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, Long Distance Care, Siblings Tagged With: adult sibling conflict, adult sibling estrangement, adult sibling meeting, adult siblings, aging life care manager, care manager, case manager, elder care manager, family meetings, geriatric care manager, nurse care manager

8 Ways to Help Organize Long Distance Care Provider Sibling Support

December 28, 2016

1284078981.jpg

It takes 1 Mom to Handle 10 children and 10 children can’t manage one Mom

 

 HOW YOU GET OTHER SIBLINGS INVOLVED

Before the coming Thanksgiving celebration, what are some suggestions you can make to a main care provider to get help FROM ADULT SIBLINGS , when all family members  has gathered.

Here are some ideas for you as the care manager to organize siblings to help share care.            

1.KEEP THEM UP ON THINGS?

                       

ways to keep siblings informed

                                    telephone calls or conference calls with  siblings 

                                    monthly e- newsletters to siblings Constant Contact –

                                    Skype with parents

                                    Facebook Page Parents                                

                                  Amazon wish list for gifts for parents

                                  Family Meetings  to organize the feast or discuss parent issues 

           

           

2.LISTEN TO WHAT THEY HAVE TO Say

                              be an active listener 

 

3.MAKE SURE AGING PARENTS UNDERSTAND THAT YOU NEED YOUR SIBLINGS HELP

                       

4.IF YOU WANT SIBLINGS TO HELP-TELL THEM SO

                           use open communication   

5. BE SURE TO GIVE SIBLINGS POSITIVE FEEDBACK FOR THEIR EFFORTS

                   

  • Write thank you notes, call, text, e-mail

                       

 

6.SPEAK UP RIGHT AWAY IF THERE ARE PROBLEMS

                        diffuse problems early on

                       

7. INSTEAD OF MAKING ACCUSATIONS- SHARE YOUR   FEELINGS

 

 

8.DIVIDE UP THE DUTIES 

                        example- one sibling handles parents’ finances, bills

                       one person does newsletter

                       use calendar Lots of Helping Hands  

This also may be an article for your website or newsletter for November.                       

Get more tips on working with Aging families during the busiest care management season- the coming holidays

Join me in my new Webinar

5 Ways to Tame the Turbulence of Holiday Meltdown in Aging Families   

During the busiest season for care management referrals-

 

You Will Learn:

  • How to give hope to frantic children who call, after seeing their aging parent struggling with the rituals
  • How to sell services to desperate adult child callers
  • How to use GCM tools to contain Holiday chaos
  • How to use financial forecasting to prepare for growth during the holidays
  • How to work with both dysfunctional and long-distance families who call during the holidays
    • Sign Up
  • https://cathycress.lpages.co/november-14-tame-the-turbulance-webinar/

 

 

Filed Under: ADULT SIBling, Aging, Aging Family, aging family crisis, aging life business, aging life care manager, Blog, care manager, caregiver, elder care manager, Families, Geriatric Care Management Business, Geriatric Care Manager, geriatric care manager, geriatric social worker, Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family, Holiday Rituals in Aging Family, nurse advocate, nurse care manager, SIBLING, sibling rivalry, sibling sharing care, Siblings, Thanksgiving, Webinar Tagged With: adult sibling conflict, adult sibling meeting, aging family Thanksgiving, aging life care manager, care manager, case manager, Communication with adult siblings, geriatric care manager, nurse care manager, sibling, Thanksgiving with midlife siblings

  • 1
  • 2
  • Next Page »

Get Cathy’s “10 Critical Success Steps to a Profitable Aging Life or GCM Business”

Plus be notified when Cathy has an upcoming presentation, webinar or other news and updates.


Cathy Cress is the leading national expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management. She is author of Handbook of Geriatric Care Management 4th edition, Jones and Bartlett, published 2015 and known as the bible of geriatric care management. Continue Reading >

Recent Posts

When An Adult Son Calls for Your Services Do You Use Benefits or Features?

February 20, 2019

Free Webinar-Get More Care Management & Home Care Clients Sell Benefits not Features

February 17, 2019

Is Senior Alcohol Abuse At A Crisis Level?

February 15, 2019

Why Do The Benefits of Care Management Make The Sale to Assisted Living

February 11, 2019

Have You Sent A Valentine to Your Mom If She’s Your Financial Safety Net??

February 9, 2019

Categories

  • Adult children
  • ADULT SIBling
  • Aging
  • Aging Alcohol Abuse
  • Aging Family
  • aging family crisis
  • aging life business
  • Aging Life Care
  • aging life care manager
  • Alcohol Abuse and Aging
  • Aretha Franklin
  • Assisted Living
  • Barack Obama
  • Bill Clinton
  • billing
  • Blog
  • brand
  • branding
  • care management market sizing
  • Care Management Products
  • care management start-up
  • care manager
  • Care Plan
  • caregiver
  • caregiver assessment
  • case manager
  • cash flow
  • competition survey
  • Concierge aging clients
  • Concierge Client
  • Concierge Senior
  • Cut Off
  • Death and Dying Care Management
  • death and dying care manager
  • Dementia Activities
  • Dementia and Spirituality
  • Dr. Bill Thomas
  • Dysfunctional Aging Familu
  • Dysfunctional aging family
  • elder abuse
  • elder care manager
  • elder fiscal abuse
  • Elderlaw Attorney
  • Elderly Disaster Plan
  • Emergency Plan
  • End of Life Care manager
  • Ethical Will
  • Euology
  • Families
  • Features vs Benefits
  • Filial Crisis
  • Fiscal Elder Abuse
  • GCM Start -Up
  • George Bush
  • Geriatric Assessment
  • Geriatric Care Management Business
  • Geriatric Care Manager
  • geriatric care manager
  • geriatric social worker
  • Grandchild gifts for grandma
  • Guardian
  • Holiday Meltdown in Aging Family
  • Holiday Rituals in Aging Family
  • home care
  • Hurricane Irma
  • Hurricane Maris
  • ife care manager
  • inquiry call
  • Intake
  • Intellectual Quality of Life
  • John Mc Cain
  • Jose
  • Late Life remarriage
  • LGTB elders
  • Loneliness
  • Long Distance Care
  • marketing
  • Marketing 4P's
  • Marketing aging life care
  • marketing ALCA /GCM
  • marketing care management
  • Marketing copy
  • marketing geriatric care management
  • Marketing Home Care
  • Marketing plan
  • marketing to concierge clients
  • marketing to long distance adult children
  • marketing to the top 10$
  • Mission
  • Narcissistic Personality
  • Nearly Normal Aging Family
  • News
  • nurse advocate
  • nurse care manager
  • Nursing home abuse
  • Nursing Home disaster plan
  • Oral History
  • Palliative care manager
  • patient advocate
  • Poor Nursing home staffing
  • positioning
  • postioning
  • PR
  • Private Duty Home Care
  • Public Relations
  • Public Reltions
  • Quality of Life
  • Quality of Life for elders
  • Quality of Life in Dying
  • Quality of Life with Dementia
  • Reminiscence Therapy
  • Respect
  • Sales in geriatric care management
  • Senior Drinking
  • SIBLING
  • sibling rivalry
  • sibling sharing care
  • Siblings
  • Social Media
  • Social Media for Care managers
  • Social Media for eldercare
  • Speaker's Bureau
  • Speakers Bureau
  • Spiritual Quality of Life
  • Stepmonster
  • Sweetheart scam
  • Thanksgiving
  • Thanksgiving Parent crisis
  • Third Party Referral
  • Timeline
  • Town Hall
  • Transgender Elders
  • Trust Officer
  • Valentines gifts for family caregivers
  • Wealth Management Departments
  • Webinar
  • Written Geriatric Assessment

Tags

aging family aging life and geraitric care manager aging life care manager aging life or geriatric care manager aging parent aging parent care aging parent crisis caregiver assessment caregiver burden caregiver burnout caregiver overload caregiver overwhelm caregiver stress care manager Care Managers Working with the Aging Family care plan care planning case manager checklist for aging parent problems crisis with aging parents death and dying dysfunctional aging family elder care crisis family meeting Functional Assessment geraitric assessment geraitric care manager Geriatric Assessment geriatric care management Geriatric care management operations manual geriatric care manager geriatric care managers geriatric social worker Handbook of Geriatric Care Management third edition long distance care provider My Geraitric Care Management Operations Manual My Geriatric Care Management Operations Manual National Assocaition of Geraitric Care Managers National Association of Geriatric Care Managers nurse advocate nurse care manager parent care parent care crisis Psychosocial assessment sibling

Contact

Use the form on the
Contact page to email Cathy.

Email

Connect with Cathy

Get Cathy’s “10 Critical Success Steps to a Profitable Aging Life or GCM Business”

  • Home
  • GCM Manual
  • Books »
  • Services »
  • About
  • Recommendations
  • Blog »
  • Contact

Copyright © 2012–2019 CressGCMConsult & Cathy Cress - Expert in Aging Life and Geriatric Care Management | Site Designed by Kissa's Kreations