Blending families means multiple parents, two houses, and myriad grandparent, multiple step-grandparents s Revamped families can has a total of four parents. (sometimes more if there are multiple marriages.) With only one remarriage each kid has a divorced Mom and Dad plus his or her newly remarried Mom and Dad. Each set of children will spend Christmas twice- once with their divorced father and once with their divorced mother but in different houses. It is worthy of an excel spreadsheet.
Merging families means blending rituals. If one family celebrates Christmas on Christmas Eve and the other Christmas day -it’s a clash of cultures. It can cause Christmas collisions. But in spite of the accident scene, all the kids still do just half with one parent and half the other never again having “our Christmas “
Blood grandkids kids can spend Christmas morning with their divorced Dad or Mom. If divorced parents honor different ritual time (opening gifts after midnight mass, Christmas afternoon, at the break of dawn) children won’t be on the same schedule and caught in the parental crossfire. More stress breaks out. If kids are teens, time with friends and boyfriends must be allowed. The complications are myriad.
The event takes a genogram to map.
Here are some tips
Make it a joint venture. Offer a supportive role to shore up our adult children and step and blood grandchildren. Be the anchors to this rebuilt ship
If you are a step grandparents look at yourself as a gift this Christmas.
Stay the same grandmother or grandfather
Stay the same steady presence
Stay the counterpoint to incredible change.
Be the background, the supporting cast, the backstage crew that helps the play goes on. For the new cast members, is the green room, the welcoming place for the nervous and traumatized new stars.