Check out my latest You Tube on my Mom Loves You Best Channel- “How to have a sibling family meeting with young kids.” As a mother , dad grandmother or grandpa or even great grandparent= this can help you. After all isn’t summer when kids visit their grandparents . Learn how any family member can have a family meeting with children, solve disputes, decide as a team where to go on a day or just have fun building a sibling team.
1. Contentiousness – Old fights erupt; the siblings and parent get into arguments with one another about old issue
2. Anger – Siblings and family members express physical anger, emotional abuse, financial abuse
3. Distancing & cut off – Some siblings or parents have nothing to do with family and may not speak to parents or siblings for long periods of time.
4. Fusion – Siblings and family members, such the mother and eldest daughter, blend into one another, For example, the daughter’s sounds, acts, and has the same prejudices as the mother. . Think of the media’s portrayal of Lindsay Lohan and her mother.
5. Denial – Adult siblings do not see decline in a parent, do not face reality and do not take care of the parent if he or she needs care.
6. Triangulation – Tension between two family members or siblings causes one to enlist a third family member or sibling to avoid change For example, two adult sibling object to the cost of care of an aging parent. They gang up on the third adult sibling who thinks the cost of care is reasonable and justified.
7. Sense of Entitlement – Siblings who are accustomed to purchasing services they need not personally solving their own, children’s sibling or parents’ problems. This lack of engagement leaves them, unprepared and unwilling in getting involved in solving family tribulations.
8. Narcissism – One or more siblings has an “it’s all about me” attitude and
other siblings resent this. The self-absorbed sibling either does not participate
9. Needy Adult Siblings – These adult siblings feel starved for affection and often seek affection from professionals and other people in their lives for compensation for the care they didn’t receive as children.
10 . Substance and Other Abuse – The family and siblings have a history of drug, alcohol, and/or child abuse.
If this fits you you and your aging parent needs care may need to contact a geriatric care manager.
My book Mom Loves You Best Forgiving and Forging Siblings Relationships, New Horizon Press is now out on Kindle. For $9.99 you can download it today .The bonds between siblings are the longest connections in our lives, and sibling relationships are among the most enduring ones we’ll ever have.
But for many this bond has not always been smooth — many of us are stuck with childhood memories of sibling conflict that have been festering for years. In Mom Loves You Best, two recognized experts on sibling relationships, my daughter Kali Cress Peterson and I, demonstrate how to move beyond the childhood strife, giving readers the tools to make forgiveness achievable through their prescriptive ten-step process. Readers not only forgive their siblings but also themselves as they let these ten straightforward steps guide them toward exoneration and improved feelings. A book that enables anyone to successfully repair family ties, Mom Loves You Best puts readers on the path to reconciliation and healthy adult relationships.
If you are a geriatric care manager, mental health professional, LCSW, elder law attorney or conservator/ guardian with midlife sibling clients who have fractured sibling issues, this is the book to use and recommend to your clients If you have a sibling breach that you wish to overcome, order the Mom Loves You Best, Forgiving and Forging Sibling Relationships today- on Kindle.
The heat wave disaster in the east this week should tell you that you need a family meeting about any aging family members in the Midwest or east coast. You need a disaster plan because older people are more likely to die in heat wave disasters like the broiling one this week.
What would be the agenda of that disaster family meeting?
1) Create a disaster plan for the older person. This map out what each sibling and family member needs to do
2) Create a disaster team. This would be all adult siblings all over the country, family nearby, caregivers and neighbors.
Share your disaster plan with everyone. “ If the temp goes over 90 – do www.redcross.gov
Include someone on the team who can carry heavy objects like wheelchairs
Name a substitute caregiver if the regular one can’t get there
3) Make an evacuation plan. Where is the nearest shelter, what supplies http://suite101.com/article/disaster-survival-kits-for-disabled-and-elderly-a144832
Do you have on hand? Get list from your local Red Cross or go to http://www.redcross.org/
How many people do you need to make the move to safety?
4) Put all of the above in writing. E-mail copies to everyone on the family disaster team including all adult siblings.
5) Get everyone’s agreement especially midlife siblings and the older person.
For more information, the University of Florida, http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/fy751 Home of Disaster filled hurricanes has a great set of directions.
6) Call a geriatric care manager http://www.caremanager.org/ to manage the plan if you live long distance
Professionals check out the chapter in my Handbook of Geriatric Care Management third edition, http://www.cathycress.com/books on Disaster planning
Professional s Check out my book Care Managers Working With the Aging Family, with it’s chapter on Family Meetings and the Aging Family http://www.cathycress.com/books
My new e book on family meeting will be out this month. Check my web site , http://www.cathycress.com/ for details.