Danger Sign on Summer Vacation with Siblings and Aging Parents

July 11, 2019

It’s almost Summer vacation time. Are you rattled ?Are alarm bells going off in your head about aging parent issues -yet you have a brother or sister that hardly speak. You may expect another meal with your Mom in mismatched clothes forgetting all her nouns . You may see that sibling on the coming holiday gathering then largely ignore him or her.

Nasty surprises in store

But you and your sibling may have some nasty parental surprises on the family vacation to prompt you to rethink sibling cut off.

Front view portrait of two angry friends ignoring each other at home in the night sitting on a couch in the living room at home

If you suspect your holiday visit to aging relatives could have some alarming scenes, here are some red flags to put in a checklist and share with your midlife siblings before the holiday call.

Perhaps your aghast that your older parents have piles of junk mail, dirty clothes, unwrapped gifts when Mom used to shine through her color-coordinated presents. All are cause for the sibling 911 alarm- then action.

You can use this list to assess your parents or older family members during the visit and compare notes on a post-holiday conference call. If all midlife siblings have the same criteria, it makes easier to agree what to do and what to flag as family post vacation resolutions. But- if you and siblings are at war- it makes that conference call much harder.

Below is a list of red flags.

If you saw any red signals on Memorial Day , or expect to face them on Labor Day- now is the time to do something about it. Use this is a checklist of some worrisome signs you may have seen.

Alarm Bells List for Visiting Long Distance Relatives During the Holiday visits

Unpaid bills

Missed appointments

Clutter in a home that was once always neat

Weight loss

Memory loss, change in short-term memory

Poor grooming by a person who was once meticulous

Getting lost

Wandering

Refusing to go with friends on outings or to religious services

refusing any suggestion or conversely agreeing to everything without consideration

Mood swings, getting angry when normally easy going

Refusing to go to medical providers

Not taking care of activities of daily living: cooking, bathing, dressing, housekeeping, etc.

Entering contests, credit card maxed out on shopping channels

Time for a Family Meeting

When the midlife adult children return from the summer vacation, the family can have a family meeting alone or with an aging professional and look at the problems on everyone’s the list, agree on the top red flags and start helping the long distance family.

Don’t wait till you and your midlife siblings are shocked out of sleep by late-night calls from brothers and sisters, frantically telling them of a crisis with aging Mom or Dad. Don’t force yourself and the other adult children to book last minute, high-cost flights, and gather in scary, sterile hospital rooms with brothers and sisters they have not really communicated in years.

Call an aging life or geriatric care manager for help

Red Flags for Long Distance Siblings Inquiring About Services Before the Summer Visit.

July 9, 2019

Checklist Midlife Siblings Holiday Visit to Aging Parents

Do you have adult children inquiring about your services before the they make a summer visit to grandparents ? Here is a Check List of 10 red flags for danger to share with long distance midlife siblings for their mid- summer visit to aging parents? A midlife sibling summer or visit to elderly parents to can be bitter or sweet or it can be just plain scary. Ask them to call you when they return and you can set up a meeting with all the siblings to discuss care.

The frightening part often happens when you haven’t seen an aging Mom or Dad for a while. If midlife siblings live long distance, making an occasional visit can set off alarms, especially if they find aging Mom or Dad has gone downhill . Then a geriatric or aging life care manager is just the perfect answer. Let them figure this out with your geriatric care manager Sherlock Holmes guidance and clues to find your value.

Curb Appeal – Does your Dad’s home look more like an unmaintained rental? Is there disrepair, a weedy yard, uncleaned carpets or furniture?
Housekeeping – Are there dirty dishes, unwashed sheets, a mess where things used to be tidy? Does the house look like it needs a scrubbing, or at least someone to help with cleaning?
Medication – Can you find a stash of outdated medication in the bathroom, bedroom or anywhere? ➢ Driving – Is driving with your older Dad frightening? Ask him to drive you somewhere. How is his reaction time, or judgment? Can he drive at night? Does he have traffic tickets? Assess the car. Is it worse for wear, dented or are there telltale signs of accidents?
Trash- Are there bags of trash in the basement or out back? Look in closets.

Collections- Are there growing collections that appear to be out of control, of newspapers, magazines, old sports memorabilia, ashtrays – any accumulation that appears to be taking over space and looks excessive. This is a sign of hoarding
Shopping- Take him out shopping or out to a meal to celebrate the day. When he does shopping or pays for a meal, does he have problems with checks, credit cards, figuring tips, or calculating discounts? Does he forget his wallet or other important personal items he should have with him?
Change in Behavior- Is Dad quiet when he used to be loud? Is he paranoid, having mood swings, unsocial when he used to be the belle of the ball or life of the party?
Odors- Did you smell urine? Must? Mildew? Dirty clothes or dishes?
Refrigerator- Are there science experiments, aka moldy food in the refrigerator?
Unpaid Bills- are there piles of unpaid bills in drawers or in your loved one’s desk. Are their notices or gas or electric turn offs? Search their desk and perhaps, in you have access, look at their bill pay account.

If any of these clues turn up trouble, you should set up meeting vis phone or in person to talk your midlife siblings about the problems discovered and set up a family meeting via Skype, in person or a family conference call.

For More professionals can Read Care Manager’s Working With Nearly Normal Families- Working With Long Distance Care Providers in

Handbook of Geriatric Care Management 4^th edition

How Can Someone with Dementia Have a Better Quality of Life ?

July 2, 2019

Reminiscence and Story Telling

The role of story telling and reminiscence is very important for elders, as they look back on their life. It gives them a chance to socialize as they tell their story. It also means someone usually listens or documents. That magically gives the elder social interaction and connectiveness.

Elders sharing stories means passing on history, which gives the older person a chance to give the larger picture of their life and family history to children and grandchildren or extended family, who may have not heard all the details of their grandparents or parents life before. So the quality of the older person of both the older person and the aging family are increased through oral history and reminiscence

The aging professional can suggest family or friends just sitting down and prompting a story or oral history using technology like your phone

Even elders with Alzheimers can find new joy with Reminiscence

When an elderly person develops Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia, the short-term memory is frequently affected but long-term memories can remain as intact and vivid as they have always been during the course of the patient’s life.. As a result healthcare professionals can use practice called reminiscence therapy to help combat the frustration, confusion, and depression that can often accompany dementia and even bring joy to the older person

What is reminiscence therapy?

Reminiscence therapy is like a therapy session where the elderly person will spend time recalling memories of his or her life, perhaps telling stories about things that happened and events the person can recall.

Sometimes senior experts can use photos, familiar objects, or other such things to help jog the memory of the patient. Some therapists can a scrapbook of a person’s life, including photos, letters, and other such personal memorabilia. This becomes a s visual biography of the patient’s life and helps him or her remember who he or she is.

How does this quality of life therapy help? Almost all elderly men and women can start feeling discouraged and frustrated with their memory issues. Reminiscence can give peace and acceptance of the current situation by helping the person remember that he or she has had a good and full life life.It also prompts communication skills of elderly people who otherwise may not feel very compelled to open up and share anything with anyone else.

Dementia and Reminiscence of 4th of July

People with dementia can get given a richer quality of life by giving the people who will actually listen to them, so that they feel as their thoughts and feelings actually matter. To someone who has an elderly loved one suffering from dementia, this benefit alone can make reminiscence therapy a form of joy for a very confused elder.so serve that Hamburger from the grill and ask the elder who you serve it to, what did they eat at the 4th of July when they were young and then —just listen.

How Can Reminicence Therapy Make Give an Elder With Dementia a Happier July 4th

June 29, 2019

Even elders with Alzheimer’s can find new joy with Reminiscence

Holidays are perfect for this as July4th was celebrated as a child and will bring back, fire cracker , fireworks, 4th of July parties of the older person’s childhood.When an elderly person develops Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia, the short-term memory is frequently affected but long-term memories , like long ago 4th of July can remain as intact and as vivid as they have always been during the course of the patient’s life. As a result healthcare professionals can use a practice called reminiscence therapy to help combat the frustration, confusion, and depression that can often accompany dementia and even bring joy to the older person

What is reminiscence therapy?

Care managers and senior professionals can use photos, familiar objects, or other such items to help jog the memory of the elder. Some therapists can a scrapbook of a person’s life, including photos, letters, and other such personal memorabilia. This becomes a visual biography of the patient’s life and helps him or her remember who he or she is.

How does this quality of life therapy help?

Almost all elderly men and women can feel deeply discouraged and frustrated with their memory issues. Reminiscence can give peace and acceptance of the current situation by helping the person remember that he or she has had a good and full life. It also prompts the communication skills of elderly people who otherwise may not feel very compelled to open up and share anything with anyone else.

HOW DOES REMINISCENCE THERAPY HELP DEMENTIA

Using reminiscence therapy techniques can give the confused elder a richer quality of life by giving them with time with other people who will actually listen to them. Through this, a dementia patient is made to feel their thoughts and feelings actually matter. To someone who has an elderly loved one suffering from dementia, this benefit alone can make reminiscence therapy a form of joy.

There is even an app called Grey Matters, which caregivers and care managers can look into for reminiscence therapy for elders with dementia. If the senior is a BBC fan, like me, the BBC even has an app called RemArc to help dementia sufferers with reminiscence using old clips from the BBC. You can see in the future an app that has clips from Star Wars for present baby boomers or generations after that.

Books to Help You Open Your Own Program

Geriatric Care Manager Nina Herdon is the pioneer of adding reminiscence therapy to geriatric care management. She authored the chapter Quality of Life in Handbook of Geriatric Care Management .

Nina also created a book on quality of life activities you can use in your work and program called Joyful Moments

Order both and start using reminiscence therapy with your clients.

6 Emotional Quality of Life Activities to Sell Care Management to Assisted Living

June 3, 2019

What is emotional Quality of Life

What is emotional quality of Life? It is a connection with others. We all, including older people, crave human contact. The professional relationship a care manager has with an elder is emotionally caring, just like a concierge physician. It trumps personal chefs and shoppers because you assess their problems and actually have a deep relationship.

In a world where the family no longer lives next door and supports each other, geriatric care managers can give elders that human contact and support that is gone in most sandwich generation families.

Emotional connection to pets ¨

Emotional connection to grandchildren ¨

Peace with oneself

When older people move into Assisted Living they frequently do not feel that emotional connection. They may have to leave their pets behind, the family does not live nearby or is overwhelmed with work and younger family members. If the older person just moved to Assisted Living they often feel like they landed on Mars and are not sure how to make friends or socialize with the Martians. They are not at peace with themselves

How Do You Find It

This is where a geriatric care manager or ALCA member can come in. By working with the Assisted Living facility and the family, the care manager can bolster the sagging quality of life of an elder who is unhappy with Assisted Living. They can do an Assessment for Emotional Quality of Life and create emotional connections –

For someone who just moved in assisted living, plan a tea party or cocktail party and invite new neighbors
Assess what activities the new resident likes, escort them to the activity and ask the instructor to pair them with a buddy.
Enroll the resident in the local Osher program and let them pick out a group to join. Example lunch group, dinner group, play reading, Dickens, New Yorker, Arrange transportation if necessary
Enroll the client in a group at a local senior center that reflects what they like to do, like knitting, needlepoint, poetry, and memoir writing gentle yoga, if that is not offered at the facility. Arrange senior transportation
Enroll a homebound client in Senior Center Without Walls .
Arrange a visit by Pet Therapy Dog to visit the older person, who left a pet behind or arrange for the elder to visit the local SPCA with an escort and transportation where the escort can interact with the animal.

Find out how to market GCM /ALCA Services to Assisted Living

10 Steps to Success in Selling Care Management to Assisted Living

FREE WEBINAR- 10 Steps to Success in Selling Care Management to Assisted Living

THIS WEBINAR BEGINS: Monday, June 24, 2019, 2 PM PST Ends 3:15 PM PST

Find Out More

DURING THIS FREE WEBINAR YOU WILL LEARN

How to Make a Winning First Impression at Assisted Living Sales Meeting- Preparing Presentation

What Referral Triggers to Use When Selling Geriatric Care Management to Assisted Living

What Feature to use When Selling Geriatric Care Management to Assisted Living

What Benefits to use When Selling Geriatric Care Management to Assisted Living

How to Close the Sale of Geriatric Care Management to Assisted Living

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How Can Someone with Dementia Have a Better Quality of Life ?

Reminiscence and Story Telling

Even elders with Alzheimers can find new joy with Reminiscence

What is reminiscence therapy?

Dementia and Reminiscence of 4th of July

Contact

Connect with Cathy

Get Cathy’s “10 Critical Success Steps to a Profitable Aging Life or GCM Business”

Below is a list of red flags.

If you saw any red signals on Memorial Day , or expect to face them on Labor Day- now is the time to do something about it. Use this is a checklist of some worrisome signs you may have seen.

Time for a Family Meeting

Call an aging life or geriatric care manager for help

Reminiscence and Story Telling

Even elders with Alzheimers can find new joy with Reminiscence

What is reminiscence therapy?

Dementia and Reminiscence of 4th of July

Even elders with Alzheimer’s can find new joy with Reminiscence

What is reminiscence therapy?

How does this quality of life therapy help?

HOW DOES REMINISCENCE THERAPY HELP DEMENTIA

Books to Help You Open Your Own Program

What is emotional Quality of Life

How Do You Find It

DURING THIS FREE WEBINAR YOU WILL LEARN

Contact

Connect with Cathy

Get Cathy’s “10 Critical Success Steps to a Profitable Aging Life or GCM Business”