Celebrations like Mother’s Day, (today) Hanukah, Christmas, and Father’s Day- (coming up)– any holiday— can be a nightmare with adult siblings and the dysfunctional family. They have to show up, yet they prepare for the daggers – either wielded by them or a fellow sibling.
Here are 7 tips to suggest adult sibling’s clients follow on holidays like Mother’s Day.:
1) It is holiday event not a family meeting. If you want to talk about personal issues, make a date to get together with your angry sister/brother.
2) Remember that it is Mother’s Day and not all about you. Keep a positive attitude for the sake of your aging parent if they are there, your own kids your nieces and nephews and your adult siblings.
4) Call ahead as a team effort to arrange the sharing of the food for the meal, if it is at someone’s home. Call every family member. Do not exclude. Again to build a team effort.
5) Call ahead and arrange to split the bill if at a restaurant – ahead of time- again team effort and no embarrassing credit card bargaining at the table that only brings on more fights.
6) Keep your alcohol in check. You can’t control anyone else but you can control and even change yourself. We all say things we may regret with lots of nervous drinking.
7)If you work with midlife siblings caring for elders – Check out “Working with Aging Siblings” in Care Manager’s Working with the Aging Family