Check out my latest You Tube on my Mom Loves You Best Channel- “How to have a sibling family meeting with young kids.” As a mother , dad grandmother or grandpa or even great grandparent= this can help you. After all isn’t summer when kids visit their grandparents . Learn how any family member can have a family meeting with children, solve disputes, decide as a team where to go on a day or just have fun building a sibling team.
1. Contentiousness – Old fights erupt; the siblings and parent get into arguments with one another about old issue
2. Anger – Siblings and family members express physical anger, emotional abuse, financial abuse
3. Distancing & cut off – Some siblings or parents have nothing to do with family and may not speak to parents or siblings for long periods of time.
4. Fusion – Siblings and family members, such the mother and eldest daughter, blend into one another, For example, the daughter’s sounds, acts, and has the same prejudices as the mother. . Think of the media’s portrayal of Lindsay Lohan and her mother.
5. Denial – Adult siblings do not see decline in a parent, do not face reality and do not take care of the parent if he or she needs care.
6. Triangulation – Tension between two family members or siblings causes one to enlist a third family member or sibling to avoid change For example, two adult sibling object to the cost of care of an aging parent. They gang up on the third adult sibling who thinks the cost of care is reasonable and justified.
7. Sense of Entitlement – Siblings who are accustomed to purchasing services they need not personally solving their own, children’s sibling or parents’ problems. This lack of engagement leaves them, unprepared and unwilling in getting involved in solving family tribulations.
8. Narcissism – One or more siblings has an “it’s all about me” attitude and
other siblings resent this. The self-absorbed sibling either does not participate
9. Needy Adult Siblings – These adult siblings feel starved for affection and often seek affection from professionals and other people in their lives for compensation for the care they didn’t receive as children.
10 . Substance and Other Abuse – The family and siblings have a history of drug, alcohol, and/or child abuse.
If this fits you you and your aging parent needs care may need to contact a geriatric care manager.
My book Mom Loves You Best Forgiving and Forging Siblings Relationships, New Horizon Press is now out on Kindle. For $9.99 you can download it today .The bonds between siblings are the longest connections in our lives, and sibling relationships are among the most enduring ones we’ll ever have.
But for many this bond has not always been smooth — many of us are stuck with childhood memories of sibling conflict that have been festering for years. In Mom Loves You Best, two recognized experts on sibling relationships, my daughter Kali Cress Peterson and I, demonstrate how to move beyond the childhood strife, giving readers the tools to make forgiveness achievable through their prescriptive ten-step process. Readers not only forgive their siblings but also themselves as they let these ten straightforward steps guide them toward exoneration and improved feelings. A book that enables anyone to successfully repair family ties, Mom Loves You Best puts readers on the path to reconciliation and healthy adult relationships.
If you are a geriatric care manager, mental health professional, LCSW, elder law attorney or conservator/ guardian with midlife sibling clients who have fractured sibling issues, this is the book to use and recommend to your clients If you have a sibling breach that you wish to overcome, order the Mom Loves You Best, Forgiving and Forging Sibling Relationships today- on Kindle.
Want to avoid sibling wars with young kids in your family? Have a family meeting and listen to both sides.
Make sure kids don’t grow up with emotional or physical scars. Family meetings allow you to attend to sibling wounds right away, and be there to referee the sibling fights because they will come up all the time. They are especially helpful for blended families. There was never really a happy Brady Bunch. Stepchildren and half sibling need family meetings.
How to do this? Listen-Show a respect for each point of view; listen to both sides.
Schedule a kid sibling family meeting at the same time each week. Serve the food they love- even if it’s junk food.
Family meetings are an excellent tool to listen to both sides of a sibling argument. They provide a safe arena where you can impose rules about each person taking a turn to express his or her viewpoint. Parents can also set rules in the beginning about no interrupting so each child can say what he or she has to say without another child butting in. At the family meeting you can ask each sibling to share his or her concerns and use the Go Around technique where each person at the meeting gets to respond to the topic. So if the Go Around topic was what happened this week that you didn’t like, and one sibling said something the other sibling did made him mad, the Go Around technique would give the other siblings a chance to respond in a really safe environment. You are listening to both sides of the issue.
Check out my book Mom Love You Best Forgiving and Forging Sibling Relationships . There is an entire section with 20 tips to raise healthy siblings. You can also visit my You Tube channel Momlovesyoubest for those tips. .
My New Family Meeting book will be out this summer. Check out my website for the book.
What is the aging family? Emily Saltz, a noted geriatric care manager and aging family expert, says that no two families are alike.
Every family is its own complex, unique, constantly changing system of important relationships, including the strongest dyad, siblings. Each connection in the clan, at one time or another, must deal with life’s most important events and issues: birth and death, marriage and divorce, intimacy and distance, growing up and aging.
That brings us to the aging family http://www.cathycress.com/books/care-managers. Dealing with the aging process within a family is a complicated matter. It can be a struggle even for families that are close-knit, well integrated, and highly functioning,
It can be overwhelming and even destructive for the dysfunctional family. What is that? The dysfunctional family that is marked by strained relationships and unresolved conflict.
Saltz tells you how to look for signs of the dysfunctional family in her chapter on working with the aging family in the third edition of my book Handbook of Geriatric Care Management http://www.cathycress.com/books/geriatric-care-management Jones and Bartlett, 3rd edition.