If you have siblings with issues between them, look to yourself. Are you running on empty? Most young mothers I know don’t really nurture themselves. Between work, parenting and household chores, they never put themselves on their own to do list.
If you are a Mom or Dad of teenagers or young children and your kids are struggling with sibling rivalry, avoid a future sibling “I Hate You” story- 40 years from now by caring for yourself. Taking care of you as the caregiver is key to caring for others.
The catch phrase is to “balance work and family”. I am talking about balancing three things-work family and you –filling up your own self- before the other two plunge out of balance
Try joining-enrolling in activities that help you care of yourself will help your kids move through the shoals of sibling issues because you feel healthier. You might choose yoga, massage, journaling, meditation, a book club, or a gym membership. Mindfulness could be a practice you could investigate.
Keep a diary; just a few sentences a day to tell yourself what you did that day to care for yourself. Just taking a walk, getting your nails done or sitting alone for 15 minutes can count as self-care.
Don’t tell yourself you don’t have time. Caregivers of the elderly end up the hospital before the person they care for. That’s one caregiver taking care of one person. Mom’s care for multiple kids and at times sparing siblings.
Delegate household tasks to the whole family- give siblings chores like setting the table taking out the trash, starting basic meals. Forming a sibling team actually helps build healthy siblings relationships plus helps you – balance your needs and theirs.
Young children who have brother and sister problems, demand time and attention from the parental caregiver. Your first job is to care for them, but you cannot do that if you’re not emotionally strong and centered yourself.
Getting to that point means caring for the caregiver and using caregiver tools to make yourself the best mom, dad, step mom, or step dad you can be. You can help yourself overcome present and future sibling rivalry issues by making a list of activities to nurture yourself so you have all the energy and centeredness it takes to deal with sibling issues.
Being parent/ caregiver, who nurtures yourself, brings your nurturing skills with your young siblings, back into your life.